Chapter 26
CHASE’S NERVES WERE ON a Final Destination-style roller coaster.
With Madison in the seat next to him and Natalie and Grace on her other side, he did his best to walk the line between supportive and heartbroken.
He considered skipping the alumni game entirely, but he didn’t want to back out on his promise to Tobias and Madison.
Everything in him wished he could be there as a proud partner of one of the guys on the ice, but he couldn’t do that by being pushed back into the closet. The idea of keeping Tobias a secret felt wrong on a visceral level.
When Tobias told him he wanted to stay a secret for an undetermined amount of time following the alumni game, Chase’s stomach sank and he was overcome with dizziness that had nothing to do with the blow job he’d just received.
After spending years hiding himself from his father, the idea of going back in the closet for a relationship made him sick. Chase always thought he was over it, but the trauma lingered. He was still repairing his relationship with the brother who outed him to his dad and changed his life forever.
He was grateful for the bracelet Madison made for him, and he used it as a fidget toy to settle his nerves during the game, spinning its beads over and over.
Since being outed, Chase had done his best to be honest with everyone in his life, but something had been holding him back from Tobias. A relationship would be a big deal for him, especially a public one, so he’d ignored his growing feelings. But he couldn’t deny them any longer.
As he watched Tobias stretch on the ice during the pregame warmup, he could only think one thing.
I’m in love with Tobias.
The truth had stared him in the face for so long.
Chase knew better than to think it started before he’d ever met him. Sure, he had always been a fan, but that didn’t mean he knew Tobias well enough to truly love him.
Idolatry turned into mutual respect, and Chase fell harder every day, that much was obvious.
“There’s Oby!” Madison squealed, dragging Chase out of his depressing thoughts. “What’s he doing?”
Chase cleared his throat to remove the lump before he answered. “He’s stretching so he doesn’t get hurt when the game starts.”
Typically, he would have been squirming in his seat watching Tobias do his extensive goalie stretches, but now it only made him want to hug the man, to make sure he was ready for the game, to tell him no matter how well he played, Chase was proud of him for stepping onto the ice in the first place.
He only wished Tobias was brave enough for a real relationship.
Chase understood why he wasn’t, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
Instead of wearing his Moyer jersey—the one Tobias didn’t know existed—Chase wore a black long-sleeved Inferno shirt featuring Phil the Phoenix.
The mascot was always a safe choice, and he giggled with Madison when they spotted the bird in question messing with some Boston fans in the crowd.
Philadelphia was known for its unhinged mascots, and that included Phil. His wide eyes were haunting, and Chase always tried to avoid his gaze. Madison, on the other hand, managed to sleep with a stuffed Phil on a nightly basis. She was made of stronger stuff than him.
Phil mooned a few Boston fans in the stands, bending over and pulling his shorts down to reveal more of his feathers. Chuckles erupted around the arena, and Chase smiled at the brief distraction from Tobias’ stretches. When he glanced back to find the goalie on the ice, Tobias stood and faced them.
“Maddie, look,” Natalie pointed out. “Uncle Toby is searching for you. Wave so he can see you better.”
Madison jumped up from her chair and waved her hands frantically, shouting, “Go Oby!”
Chase giggled at Madison’s excitement. When he turned back to the ice, Tobias waved to them.
He slipped off his massive glove and blew a kiss up toward them, and Chase could have sworn he was making eye contact with him rather than Madison, but that was highly unlikely.
They were seated in the middle of the lower level with what were probably other family members of players on the ice, and Tobias had probably aimed those gestures at Madison.
“I think that one was for you, Chase,” Natalie muttered over Madison’s head. “Ya know, I love him, but he can be a bit of an idiot. Especially when it comes to the people he cares about. Don’t give up on him just yet.”
Chase’s gaze snapped to Natalie and the sweet, mischievous smile on her face.
When he faced Tobias, he found him wearing a wide grin, something he hardly ever did on the ice.
How Chase wished for Natalie to be right, but he didn’t want to pretend. Chances were the kiss was for his family, not him.
Tobias continued gazing in their direction and shot a wink their way.
A teammate skated up to him, pulling his attention away, and Chase gasped.
He’d forgotten to breathe and had to make up for the lack of oxygen getting to his brain.
He told himself it wasn’t for him. It couldn’t be.
Tobias made it clear he wasn’t ready for the public to know about his sexuality.
“Tobias invited us to visit the locker room after the game,” Grace said, putting an end to his racing thoughts. “Will you join us, Chase?”
“Uh, I-I don’t know,” Chase said. “Isn’t that for family?”
“No, of course not. The players can invite whoever they want,” Natalie said.
“I’m not sure if Tobias really wants me there.”
“Please, Chase? Please come with us,” Madison said as she stared up at him. “You have to come to the locker room with me. I’ve never been there before. What if we get lost?”
“I’m sure one of the people working here would help you get there,” Chase said.
“No, Chase, I want yooooou!” Madison begged, her eyes beginning to water.
Chase’s gaze bounced between Madison, Natalie and Grace.
Both Grace and Natalie had their lips sucked between their teeth, like they were fighting saying more, while Madison was on the edge of having a full-blown tantrum.
“Okay, okay, don’t worry,” Chase said, reaching over to lightly squeeze her shoulder. “I’ll go with you and make sure you don’t get lost.”
A switch flipped and Madison went from nearly bawling in the middle of the arena to beaming at him like he told her he planned on taking her to Disney World.
“Yay!” Madison squealed, and Natalie patted her on the head.
There was something odd about the interaction, but Chase had bigger things to worry about.
He’d go to the Philly Inferno’s locker room after the game, where retired hockey legends—including Tobias—would congregate with their loved ones.
Chase didn’t belong in that category. Loved ones were people you weren’t afraid to admit to loving.
But if Tobias really wanted him there…
Was it possible the kiss and wink were for him? Or was he just hoping?
Either way, this would be a long-ass game.