Chapter 24
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR
LINC
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re so bad at this,” Zoe says, laughing as she wins again. Much to her disappointment I didn’t load up GTA, though I’m still kind of chuckling at the way it sent Tessa over the top.
Instead, we’ve spent the night eating pizza and playing Super Mario Kart , while Tessa does some work at the kitchen counter, because she’s a Miss Goody Two Shoes and we’re the wayward kids having a Saturday night blast.
“It’s almost ten,” Tessa calls out, peering over the top of her laptop screen. “Time to get ready for bed.”
“I’m usually allowed to stay up until twelve,” I tell her and Zoe snorts out a laugh.
Tessa’s eyes catch mine and I give her the dirtiest sex look I can muster. Because I have plans for midnight. Plans that involve being firmly inside Carmichael. Quietly, of course.
“Can’t I stay up for a while longer?” Zoe asks. “Linc is just getting good at this.”
“Thank you for your encouragement,” I tell her, deadpan .
“No. You have homework to do in the morning and then you’re going to your dad’s,” Tessa reminds her. “And I have to go home and get things ready for the contractor on Monday.”
Zoe mutters something under her breath, then hands the controller to me.
“Conceding defeat?” I ask her, low enough so Carmichael can’t hear.
“You gotta learn to pick your battles,” Zoe tells me, sounding so much like her mom it makes me want to laugh.
“True that.”
She and Tessa disappear for a while. I assume they’re having a chat as Zoe gets ready for bed, so I turn off the console and reply to some emails that have been filling my inbox all week. I check my schedule for next week. Roman’s requested a meeting. I accept it, knowing that he’s still pissed with me for not traveling.
But fuck, I’m glad I didn’t. If I had I wouldn’t have gone over to Carmichael’s place today. And she wouldn’t have given me the best blow job in living history.
And she wouldn’t be sleeping in the room next to mine tonight.
It’s weird having people stay in the apartment. I know that Tessa thinks I have a conveyer belt of women coming in and out of here purely for my carnal pleasure, but it’s not true.
“Just getting a glass of water,” Zoe says. She’s in her pajamas. I smile because they are black patterned pants and a white top with the slogan – Eat, Sleep, Anime, Repeat.
“Use the dispenser on the refrigerator, the water’s filtered.”
“On it.” She grabs a glass and fills it up. Then she puts it on the counter and walks over to me. “Thank you for letting us stay. ”
Before I can say anything she leans down to kiss my cheek. She smells of soap and fabric softener.
And for some reason, that little gesture makes my throat tighten.
“It’s a pleasure, kid. Have a good sleep.”
“Can we do something in the morning before I have to leave?” she asks.
“Sure.” I’m stupidly pleased that she wants to spend more time with me. I don’t think I’ve ever interacted with a thirteen-year-old before. At least, not since I was a teenager myself. Some of my brothers have kids but they’re younger. “We could go out for breakfast maybe. There’s this diner that has the biggest pancakes you’ve ever seen.”
“Chocolate chip?” she asks.
“Absolutely.”
She holds her hand up for a high five. And when our palms slap I start to wonder if her high five was for her or for me.
Five minutes later, Tessa appears back in the living room. I look up from my laptop, smiling when I see she’s in her pajamas too. But these ones are silk. Long pants and a camisole top.
“I can see your nipples, Carmichael,” I say, my voice low.
“That’s because you’re a perv.” She shoots a glance to her left to make sure Zoe’s door is shut.
“Want a glass of wine?” I ask, handing her the remote. “Let’s watch a movie or something.”
“You want to watch a movie?” She sounds skeptical. “Isn’t that a little… boring?”
“I thought we’d established that I like boring.” I head to the kitchen and grab two glasses, filling them with some crisp cold Pouilly Fume I bought on my last trip to Paris. “It’s you I worry about.”
“Me?” She glances at me over her shoulder as I walk back to the table .
“Yeah. I know you’re not used to this kind of lifestyle. That you’re all about the hot guys and sex parties. But I thought maybe you could try my world for one night.”
“Give me the wine, Salinger,” she says, shaking her head. I pass her the glass and she takes a long sip. “That’s good. Where’s it from?”
“I can’t remember,” I lie, because I don’t want to mention Paris. I don’t want to mention anything that could pierce this little bubble we’ve got going on tonight.
Carmichael, me, and her kid. The three of us staying home on a Saturday night.
Thank god my brothers can’t see me. They’d laugh their asses off if they could.
TESSA
“Bedtime,” Linc says when the movie ends, holding the remote up to turn off his stupidly big television. I grab our empty glasses and carry them into the kitchen, loading them into the dishwasher.
We only drank two glasses of wine in the end. And then I kind of fell asleep for most of the movie. I remember startling awake when a shooting scene came on, only to find my cheek propped against Linc’s shoulder, his arm around my waist.
It felt… safe.
Which if I think about for too long, makes me feel unsafe. I’ve spent the last two years rebuilding mine and Zoe’s life. I don’t want to rely on anybody else to make me feel safe.
I want to do it alone.
“I’m gonna take a shower,” Linc tells me as we walk up the stairs. “Care to join me?”
“I can’t.” I look at Zoe’s door. And then it opens. One side of Zoe’s face is creased from where she’s been lying on it. I can tell she’s been asleep from the thickness of her voice. “Mom?”
“Yes honey?” I take the few steps back down.
“I think I forgot my gym bag. And we have track on Monday.”
Linc sniggers.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Yep. Sorry. Can we pick it up tomorrow on the way to Dad’s?”
“Of course.” She could have asked me that tomorrow, but I assume she’s woken up disoriented. Maybe not as excited about sleeping in a strange apartment as she made out. “Everything else okay?”
“I’m gonna head up.” Linc walks up the rest of the stairs and along the Mezzanine, disappearing through his bedroom door.
“Can you talk me back to sleep?” Zoe asks.
It was something I used to do when Jared first moved out. Despite my best attempts to make everything smooth for her, she suffered from anxiety. Her therapist explained it was natural for her to be afraid. The rug of security had been taken from under her. She’d never thought her dad would leave, and now she was questioning everything.
Time and her growing older has helped. But I’m guessing tonight has gotten her a little edgy.
“Sure.” I follow her into her room. She climbs into the large queen sized bed and I lay next to her. “What shall we talk about?”
“Is Linc your boyfriend?” she asks as she rests her head on my shoulder.
My stomach tightens. I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation quite so soon. “He’s my friend,” I tell her. “I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend.”
“But you like him? ”
Damn thirteen-year-olds and their perceptive ways. “I do like him, but he’s just a friend. Kind of like when there’s a new girl at school and you think she’s great but you need to take your time before she’s part of the circle.” It’s the best analogy I can think of, but it’s not exactly great.
“I like him,” she says. Her voice is sleepy now. “He’s funny.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“And he’s kind. He bought everybody’s pizza, did you know that? Maisie messaged me to say her mom went to pay our check and Linc had already paid it.”
“He’s a gentleman.” Okay, maybe that’s going too far. I find my lips curling. I’m going to tell him I said that.
“I’m okay with him, if you want to date him,” she says, her eyes closed now. “As long as you don’t do all that kissing stuff in front of me.”
“I don’t know where this friendship is going,” I tell her honestly. “All I can tell you is that you’ll always be my priority. That I’ll always be here for you.”
“Like the Gilmore girls.”
“Exactly.” I lean down to kiss her cheek and all of a sudden I’m remembering the day we brought her home from the hospital. She was sleeping in her car seat and I remember Jared putting her down and asking me, “So what do we do now?”
I’d laughed and replied, “I guess it’s our job to get her to adulthood without doing anything stupid.”
Is wanting to be with Linc stupid? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that if everything ends then I’ll be okay. I have to be.
I’m not going to let Zoe see her mom go through pain again.
There’s a light rap of knuckles on my door as I step out from the shower. Then Linc opens the door, his eyes darkening as he takes in the towel wrapped around my damp body.
“Everything okay?” he asks me. “Zoe all right?”
I nod. “She’s just… a little discombobulated.” I take a deep breath. “She wanted to know if you and I are…” I trail off. Saying she asked if he was my boyfriend sounds wrong. Like I’m asking for myself. “Anyway, I told her we were friends. I think it calmed her.”
“Friends,” he says, his voice low. He slides the lock on my door closed. “Do you swallow all your friends’ cum?”
I open my mouth to answer and close it again.
“Do you grind your pussy against all of their mouths?” he asks, stepping toward me.
My cheeks pink up at the memory. “No.”
“Then in what possible fucking way are we friends?”
“I want to be your friend,” I tell him honestly. “I like you. You make me smile. That hasn’t happened in a long time.”
He gently pulls the towel from my body, leaving me naked. His gaze travels down my body, a low breath escaping his lips. Then he takes my nipple between his fingers, twisting it. I let out a gasp.
“Do friends do this to each other?” he asks.
“No,” I breathe as he pinches it hard. I’m somewhere between pleasure and pain.
“Good. I’m glad we’re clear. If you want to call it friends, then do it. But we’re exclusive friends. Friends who fuck like rabbits and don’t let anybody else touch them.”
Oh, he’s being possessive. “You’re the first man to touch me in years,” I remind him.
His jaw twitches. “And you’re the only woman that gets to touch me.” He leans forward, the softness of his lips a contrast to the hardness of his voice. “Now I’m going to fuck you, then we’re going to talk. Because I can’t get my damn thoughts straight with you naked in front of me. ”
“Yes please. But you can’t stay…”
“I know that. I wasn’t going to.” He pulls me against him until I feel the thick ridge of him pressing into my stomach. He pushes my hair from my face, his lips claiming mine. He tastes of toothpaste, his tongue lazily stroking mine as he slides his hand between my legs, checking if I’m ready for him.
And I am. So ready. He groans as he slides his finger into me, and I tighten around him.
“You’re gonna kill me, Carmichael.”
“Are you always going to call me that?” He slides his thumb against my clit and my words end in a gasp.
“Probably.” His lips smile against mine. Then he slides his palms along the back of my thighs and lifts me onto the bed, letting me go so I’m splayed out naked before him.
The way he looks at me makes my breath catch. His eyes roam over my body, his chest falling and rising. “Do you know how many times I’ve imagined you on this bed?”
“Before or after Exuma?” I ask him, curious.
“After. Before I just wanted to ring your neck.”
I start to laugh and he’s grinning, too, as he pulls down his shorts and walks toward me. His erection is impressive, bobbing as his legs hit the end of the bed. He’s brought a condom with him. He rips the packet and rolls it on.
“I’m not into choking,” I tell him.
“Not yet,” he murmurs, stroking himself. “Give us time.”
I think he’s joking. At least I hope he is. But I don’t get a chance to think about it anymore, because he’s claiming my mouth again, lifting my thigh to hook it around his waist as he pushes inside of me.
I let out a ragged breath.
“You with me?” he asks.
“Yes,” I tell him.
He leans on his elbows as he rocks his hips, his movements lazy as his eyes catch mine. It’s like he can’t stop looking at me. I’m not sure I can look away either. My breath catches as he finds the right spot to grind against.
I swear stars start to sparkle in front of my eyes.
“Look at me,” he tells me. “Don’t look away.”
His hand cups my face as he finds his rhythm. I move against him, loving the way he sends sparks right down to my toes every time he rocks into me. And I don’t move my gaze. It stays fixed on him.
It feels more intimate than having sex. I can’t remember the last time I stared at somebody for this long.
He pushes up to his hands, his palms flat on the mattress, and this time he hits a sensitive spot deep inside me. My eyes widen and I want to shut them but he shakes his head.
“Don’t stop,” I tell him.
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
His hips undulate as he moves inside my body. Still so slow. Still so sure. And my chest tightens because I can’t remember ever feeling this alive. This wanted.
“Are you close?” he rasps.
“So close.”
“Touch yourself,” he tells me.
So I do, because right now I’d do anything for this man. I slide my hand between us, finding my swollen center. I place the pad of my finger on it, slowly rotating to the tempo of his body.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers.
“So are you.”
“Don’t ignore my calls again,” he tells me.
I smile because he has me exactly where he wants me. And maybe I have him where I want him too. Inside me. Over me. Everywhere.
“Need you to come now,” he tells me. “Before I fuck everything up.”
I start to laugh, and it sets off a chain reaction. The movement makes my body tighten around him and he stills for a minute, the tip of him hitting the exact right spot. My finger rubs my clit lightly, and I’m gasping because I’m right on the edge.
“Tessa… fuck…”
He starts to surge inside of me and I tumble over the edge with him, my fingers raking his back as I call out his name. He drops back to his elbows, putting his palm over my mouth to quieten me, his growl low and long as his orgasm reaches its peak.
And once we’ve both come back to reality he lets go of my mouth. His eyes are still on me.
“That could get weird if you do that at work,” I tell him, imagining him following my every move around the boardroom.
“Make love to you in the office? Yeah, that would be weird.” He smiles.
I try not to notice that he didn’t call it fucking this time. And my heart does a weird little dance.
Because it didn’t feel like fucking. It felt like something else. Something more. And I’ve no idea how to feel about that.