Chapter 31
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
LINC
Tessa is sleeping soundly in my arms when I wake up, her body warm and pliant as she curls against me. Her breaths are soft, and I take a minute to look at her.
She’s so damn beautiful it makes my chest ache.
Brushing my lips against her brow, I close my eyes for a moment, remembering the shit show that was last night. A rush of fury spikes my blood as I remember the way my mom treated Tessa so casually. Like she was a piece of gum on the sidewalk.
Despite the pinkness of her skin, there are dark shadows beneath her eyes. And yeah, I’m partly responsible for that. Because I wasn’t here.
Because I threw her into the dragon’s den.
My phone starts to vibrate on the table beside my bed. I switched the sound off last night after receiving more than a dozen messages from my brothers – and their partners – wanting to know what happened between my mom and Tessa .
This time it’s my mom’s name flashing on the screen. I sigh, half-inclined to reject the call because I’m still so angry I can taste it.
But no, I need to talk to her. Because I’m not having her treat Tessa like that again. No fucking way.
Gently extricating myself from Tessa’s enticingly soft body, I climb out of bed and walk over to the window, swiping the screen to accept the call.
“Hello,” I murmur, keeping my voice down because I’m letting my woman sleep, dammit.
“Darling. I’m so sorry.”
Even hearing her voice makes my teeth grind. “It’s early,” I tell her.
“It’s almost eight.” Her voice is soft. Apologetic even. “I didn’t get any sleep. I was up thinking about last night.”
“Good. Tessa overheard you and Linda talking in the bathroom. You made her feel like shit.”
She inhales sharply. “She didn’t?”
“Yep. And I’m so fucking pissed with you about it. You made everything a hundred times worse.”
There’s silence for a moment. And I know she must be horrified. I know my mom, she isn’t usually like this. She’s kind. Caring.
Or she used to be.
“Please tell her I’m sorry. I should never have said anything. Not to you or in the bathroom. I’m an idiot.”
“Damn right you are.” From my vantage point in the window, I can see the city waking up. Like the rest of us, it’s a little slower on a Sunday. But soon the streets will be full of people. Heading to church. Meeting friends for breakfast.
Traveling for work. That’ll be me, later.
The thought of it sends annoyance rushing through me.
“I know I don’t have any right to do this,” Mom says. “But can I ask you for one thing?”
“Can’t it wait?” I ask her .
I just want to get back in bed with Tessa.
“Not really, no. There’s something I need to do. Maybe Tessa does, too.”
“What?”
“I want to meet her without you. Just the two of us. Woman to woman. So I can apologize.”
I blink. Is she really asking that after everything that happened last night? “No,” I respond, unable to hide the anger from my voice. “It’s not going to happen.”
From the corner of my eye I see Tessa starting to stir. Fuck, I was too loud. Her eyes catch mine and I feel a weird sense of serenity wash over me. I can do anything with this woman by my side.
“I need to go,” I say, hanging up the call, even though my mom is trying to persuade me to let her get her way. I walk back over to where Tessa’s sitting up in bed. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”
“Who was that?”
“My mom. Wanna hear what she wanted?”
Tessa smiles and it lights up her gorgeous face. “What?”
“To meet with you, without me. To talk woman to woman.” I roll my eyes. “The gall of it.”
“You’re sweet when you’re angry, you know that?” She rolls onto her knees and kisses the tip of my nose. I grab her and pull her closer, until she has to steady herself against my chest, her palms flat on my pectorals.
“I’m not sweet,” I tell her, kissing her jaw. “I’m sexy. And strong. And masculine.”
She giggles. “You are. So masculine.”
My fingers slide down her side to her hip. “Say it again.”
“So strong. So manly,” she whispers as I kiss her throat. “Especially when you’re getting chased by pigs.”
I look down at her. “You just spoiled it.”
“I still have the video footage,” she tells me. “In case you were wondering. ”
“Part of our prenup will be you erasing it.”
“We’re getting a prenup?” she asks.
“Damn right. You’ll have to sign that you’ll never leave me.”
She brushes her lips against mine. “Only if I get to keep the footage.” Her fingers brush my neck and it sends a shiver down my spine. “By the way, I’ll do it.”
“Do what?” I ask, distracted by the way her other hand is tracing circles on my chest.
“Meet with your mom alone. Just the two of us.”
I blink, thinking I’ve misheard her. But when our eyes meet there’s an earnestness in them that makes me realize I didn’t.
“No,” I say, my stomach falling. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Maybe I do.” She kisses me softly. “I’m not afraid of her.”
“Maybe I’m afraid of you meeting with her,” I mutter. “She might scare you off.”
“Nothing could do that.” She wraps her arms around my neck. I’m severely distracted by the way her breasts press against my chest. “I’m the one that almost scared you off.”
“That could never happen.” I kiss her again. I will never get enough of this woman’s lips.
“Let me talk to her,” Tessa whispers against my mouth. “I promise it will be okay.”
I frown. “If she’s a bitch again, you leave, okay?”
“I don’t think she will be.” She cups my face. “She’s your mom. It’s obvious she loves you. And it’s understandable that she’s worried about you. Let me talk to her.”
“But…”
“And if she’s a bitch, I’ll be a bigger one.”
Our eyes meet again. And I can see a determination there. A fierceness that slays me. The emotional Tessa of last night is gone, replaced by a warrior. I like them both so damn much .
“Okay,” I say. “But I’m coming with. I’ll sit at another table or something.”
“You can go to another coffee shop nearby,” she concedes.
I slide my arms around her and throw her back onto the mattress, then climb over her, caging her in with my arms.
“Why is it that I feel like I’ve just been steamrolled?” I ask her.
“You’re the one who threw me on the bed,” she points out, grinning.
Yeah, I was. But I still feel uneasy.
“Your mom and I are strong women,” Tessa tells me, reaching up to smooth away the frown lines between my eyes. “And Zoe’s going to be, too. You’d better get used to being surrounded by us.”
A half smile pulls at my lips. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
TESSA
The restaurant Linc’s mom booked for our brunchtime meeting is understated and elegant. There are families here, along with well dressed couples and a group of women in their fifties who look like they’re in the city celebrating some kind of birthday, judging from the gift bags on the table.
The hostess takes me to a table in the back corner, where Deandra is waiting for me. She stands when I walk over, the most reticent of smiles on her face.
“Thank you for coming,” she says simply. She doesn’t offer her hand or her cheek, which I appreciate. Because I’m on guard right now. But I’m doing this for Linc. And mostly because he bought me tampons last night.
Seriously, I’m still swooning. I can’t help it .
I slip into the seat opposite her, smoothing my skirt down my legs. We stopped at my place on the way here, though Linc insisted that we both shower at his place first. Which was probably the right thing to do, because even with the new shower at mine, it doesn’t compare to the double shower in his place.
“Would you like a drink?” the server asks.
“Just a coffee please.” I smile at her.
Deandra is drinking tea. It comes in those little teapots that hold two tea bags. She checks it for strength before pouring herself a cup.
She lifts it to her lips and takes a sip before putting the cup back down.
“I should probably start,” she says, her gaze catching mine. There are little crows feet in her skin, but they only make her beautiful face more interesting. In the daylight, I can see her resemblance to Linc.
“Okay.” I nod, waiting for what she has to say.
“What I said last night. All of it. Was wrong. I’m so sorry you had to overhear it. But more than that I’m sorry I even said it.”
I nod, saying nothing. My eyes hold hers.
She lets out another breath. “I spent all night thinking about it. How I treated you. The awful things I said. I didn’t give you a chance.”
“No, you didn’t,” I tell her. “I was feeling vulnerable. Scared to meet Linc’s family. Because he’s important to me.”
Her eyes soften. “I know.”
“And I really wanted to impress you. To get to know you. To be your friend. He talks about you a lot and I know how much he loves you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Her face crumples. “I was wrong. I made assumptions I shouldn’t have made about you.”
I feel my back stiffen. I know what those assumptions were .
“Did you know he’s never brought somebody to meet us before?” Deandra asks. “You’re the first. That’s why I knew how important you are to him. And as his mother, that’s scary.”
“He’s a grown man,” I tell her.
“I know he is. But he’s also my son.” Her eyes catch mine. “How do you think you will feel when your daughter brings somebody home?”
I let out a breath. “Happy, I hope. That she’s found somebody who makes her smile.” I pull my lip between my teeth. “And worried, too,” I add, because I’m trying to be honest here.
“I wish I’d shown you that I was happy. Because I am. Linc deserves to be happy.”
My eyes catch hers again. “He is happy,” I tell her. “I care a lot about your son.”
For a moment there’s a crack in her mask. She blinks, the hint of a smile on her lips. She nods slowly. “I can tell that. And I’m so sorry that I doubted that. I’m sorry I hurt you both.”
“Apology accepted.” It’s the truth. I’m not angry at her. I wouldn’t have done what she did, but I understand her overreaction. I’ll give her another chance to show me that she isn’t that person.
The server brings over my coffee, along with a little jug of cream and a pot of sugar. “Are you ready to order breakfast?” the server asks.
“Just an omelet for me,” Deandra says.
“I’ll have the same.” Not that I feel like eating.
As soon as the server leaves, Deandra looks at me again. “Linc said he told you what happened when he was younger.”
“The way he found you?” I ask her. “Yes, he did. He still has nightmares.”
She blanches and I have to admit, I don’t feel sorry for her .
“You should never have put that kind of burden on him. To keep a secret like that. He was just a child.”
Deandra nods, her expression tight. “I know. I regret it. I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore.”
“Good.” I nod. “But maybe you need to speak to Linc first. He should decide what happens next.”
She blinks as she looks at me. “You’re right. I will. But before I do, I feel that I need to explain to you. What I did to him. What I tried to do… I regret. So much. The things I put him through. I never want him to feel pain like that again.”
I think of Zoe. The way she cried every night after Jared left. “That’s understandable,” I say. “But almost impossible.”
“I was afraid that you would hurt him. He’s always so easy going. So happy. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“Like what?” I ask, confused.
“In love.”
That stops me in my tracks. She’s not smiling but she’s not frowning either. More than anything, she looks scared.
“Love is good, isn’t it?”
“Until it hurts.”
Oh . “Yes.” I nod. “Until it hurts. But even then, it’s still worth it.” I truly believe that. After all my fears yesterday, falling asleep in Linc’s arms made everything so much better. He makes me feel safe. Loved.
“Do you think your relationship with your ex-husband was worth the pain?” she asks, looking genuinely interested.
And I guess I could tell her it’s none of her business. Because it isn’t. But there’s a thaw here. Something fragile that could come tumbling down at any minute.
“Yes,” I say softly. “I do. Every time I look at my daughter I know for sure it was worth it.” I take a sip of coffee. “But even if we didn’t have children, even then, I think it was. I learned more about myself during our breakup than I had in our whole marriage. I learned what I wanted from a relationship. And that I needed to be a strong, independent woman to have one.”
For the first time, her lips curl. It’s the gentlest of smiles. “I wish I’d learned that.”
“Maybe you did,” I say. “You certainly taught your son that.”
Her eyes shine as she nods. “I hope so.”
“Can I give you some advice?” I ask her. “Mom to mom?” It feels weird since we’re different generations. It should be the other way around. And yet she nods, looking almost excited to hear what I have to say.
“Your son loves you. He wants you to be happy. He wants everybody to be happy. But maybe you need to show him the real you. Talk to him. Stop pretending everything is okay when it isn’t.” I feel myself blush because I learned from my own mistake there. “Let him know it’s okay not to be okay.”
She gives me a watery smile and nods. “I’m going to talk to him.”
“I’m glad.”
“But first let me talk to you,” she says. “Tell me about your daughter. Zoe, right?”
“That’s right,” I say, feeling relieved at the change in conversation. “She’s thirteen years old but she thinks she’s thirty.”
Deandra gives me a soft smile. And damn if it isn’t the same smile as Linc’s. “Tell me about it,” she says. “Even recalling the teenage years fills me with dread.”
“I look forward to hearing more about that,” I tell her and her smile widens. “With added photographs.”
“Oh, I have them all. From baby photos to now, with all those awkward in between stages. Next time you’ll have to come to my apartment and I’ll show you them all.”
“I’d like that.” Our gazes meet and I feel myself relax. It isn’t perfect, but it’s a start. “Shall we call Linc and ask him to join us?” I ask her. “Put him out of his misery. ”
She wrinkles her nose. “I guess so.” But there’s a happiness in her voice that only comes from thinking about her son.
“Okay then.” I take out my phone and send him a message.
“Thank you,” she says softly.
“Any time.” It’s not like we’re best friends. Or anything approaching that. But there’s something here. A growing understanding.
And it’s enough. Because Linc and I are adults. We don’t need her approval to work.
I just want him to be happy. That’s it really.
Ten minutes later, Linc walks into the restaurant. He stops at where I’m sitting and kisses my cheek. “Everything okay?” he murmurs, his expression wary.
I nod, smiling at him. He pulls out the chair next to mine and the waitress gives him a menu.
“Mom.” He gives her a nod, sliding his arm behind my chair. And though he doesn’t say anything, his whole body language is telling us exactly what he thinks.
If there’s a side to be chosen, he’d pick mine. It makes my heart feel full.
“I’m sorry,” Deandra says to him. “I’ve apologized to Tessa and she’s graciously accepted it.”
“Good,” Linc says, taking the coffee the waitress brings over. “You were out of line.”
“Yes, I was.” Her lips part as she softly exhales. “But I’m sorry for more than that. For what I’ve put you through. The secret I made you keep.”
Linc blinks. He shifts in his seat and his jaw stiffens. I reach out and squeeze his thigh.
“Asking a child to keep a secret like that was wrong.” Her eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
He nods, taking a sip of his coffee. I go to move my hand away from his thigh but he clamps it down with his free hand.
Like he needs the connection. Like he needs me.
“I’d like us to go to therapy,” she tells him. “Talk about a way to stop it from being a secret anymore.”
“Maybe.” Linc nods. “I’ll think about it.”
“I didn’t know you still have nightmares,” she says. “I’d like to find a way to help them stop. If you’ll let me.”
He looks at me and I give him the softest of smiles. “It sounds like a good idea,” I whisper.
“Okay.” He looks at his mom. “We’ll discuss it more when I’m back in the US full time.” He glances at me again. “I don’t want my nightmares waking Zoe up when we move in together.”
I squeeze his thigh again. I’m so in love with this man it’s almost painful. He’ll put himself through the pain of reliving his past for me. For my daughter.
I’m so blessed thanks to him.
“Now let’s eat some brunch,” he says, calling the server over. “I have a flight to catch in eight hours, and I’d like to spend some of that with my girlfriend.”