Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
TESSA
“Your daughter is so beautiful. I hope we get to meet her soon,” Ava says. She and Sophie have been so sweet to me, asking to see pictures of Zoe and showing me some of their own kids. They’ve already asked me to visit them in West Virginia – where they both live – this summer, and told me that everybody thinks I’m perfect for Linc.
Well nearly everybody. My stomach tightens at the memory of his mom’s reaction to me.
“Thank you so much.” I give her a smile. “I think I’m just going to head to the bathroom before we eat.”
I need to check my make up. And catch my breath. Linc is over in the corner talking to his mom so I sneak out and head to the rest rooms.
And of course, my period has chosen this perfect moment to arrive. My stomach starts to cramp, but it feels nothing like the anxiety that’s pulling at my body. I never feel like this. Like I’m constantly on edge.
I hate it .
After sorting myself out I flush and go to wash my hands. That’s when I hear the murmuring.
“Just sit and calm down,” a female voice says. “He didn’t mean it.”
“Oh, he meant it.” I recognize the voice as Linc’s mom. She starts to sniff. “He hates me.”
The restroom has a little dressing room to the side. The kind with plump ottoman seats and mirrors, so you can touch up your makeup in comfort without having to look at toilet stalls. That’s where the voices are coming from. I have to walk through it to get out of here. And if I do, they’ll almost certainly see me.
I freeze, catching a glimpse of my face in the mirror. I look so pale it isn’t funny.
“I’m just worried about him. I never thought he’d end up with a single mom. She’s older than him, did you know that?”
“No, I didn’t,” the other woman says. I wonder if it’s Linda. Linc says she and his mom are thick as thieves. “But does it matter?”
“What if he wants to have children of his own?” Linc’s mom asks. “She already has a teenage daughter. And you and I both know her biological clock must be running out.”
I almost want to laugh. She has no idea how close to the truth she is.
“Is it really any of your business?” Linda asks gently.
“That’s easy for you to say. You already have grandchildren. I’m ready for mine.”
Linda starts to laugh. “Are you sure about that? Imagine how angry you’d be if she got pregnant. You’d say she was a gold digger.”
“I guess I would.”
I swallow hard. They say eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves, and right now I feel like crap. And I’m trapped because I can’t go anywhere .
“Just give her a chance. She seems lovely. Ava and the other girls seem to like her. And I trust their judgment, don’t you?”
“I suppose,” Linc’s mom mutters.
“Come on, dry your eyes and let’s go back. You and Linc can talk tomorrow.”
“He wants to spend time with her instead.” She just sounds sad now.
“Talk to Linc, then talk to her. Apologize,” Linda urges. “Tomorrow, when heads are clearer.”
She lets out a long breath. “Okay.”
The sound of heels hitting tile echoes throughout, and I know they must be getting ready to leave. I tiptoe back to a stall, gently closing the door so they can’t see me.
By the time I get back to the ballroom, everybody is seated at the table and the wait staff is pouring wine.
“Everything okay?” Linc murmurs as I sit next to him. He looks about as happy as I feel.
“Yeah.” I nod, lying through my teeth. “Everything is great.”
LINC
“Are you sure you’re all right?” I ask Tessa as we walk to the waiting town car. What a shit show of an evening. Despite my brothers’ best attempts to keep the conversation going, neither Tessa or I were particularly talkative. She barely ate. Just pushed her food around on her plate.
She nods as the driver opens the door for her and lets her in. I follow, sitting beside her, pulling her against me. When he closes the door and climbs into the driver’s seat I press my lips against hers .
“I’m sorry about my family. I didn’t know Mom was going to be like that.”
I wait for her to agree, but instead the worst fucking thing happens.
My beautiful, strong girl starts to cry.
Not just glistening eyes or a single tear. Full blown fat teardrops with a snotty nose and huffing breaths.
Alarm rushes through me.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I tell her, pulling her face against my chest. “I never should have made you come tonight.”
I wait for her to make a joke of it, but she doesn’t. I can feel the dampness of her tears wetting my shirt.
“It’s not your fault,” she sobs as I stroke her hair. “Your mom hates me.”
“No,” I whisper. “She doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t know you. If she did she’d love you the same way I do.”
Tessa looks up at me. Mascara smudged all around her eyes. And on my shirt. Not that I give a fuck.
“You love me?” she whispers.
“Of course I do.” I adore this woman.
More tears start to fall. “You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t love me. I’m a fucking mess.”
“Baby…” I wipe the tears from her face with my thumbs, leaving more smears on her cheeks. “Of course I should love you.” Then I frown. “You love me, don’t you?”
She nods and relief washes through me.
“I do,” she whispers. “But look at me. Your mom thinks I’m too old for you. I don’t know if I can have babies. And my period just started.”
My mouth drops open. I have no idea what she’s talking about. “What?”
She inhales raggedly. “I’m sorry, I feel like I’ve let you down.”
The driver starts to pull away, and I cup her face with my hands, feeling the dampness of her tears against my skin .
“You haven’t let anybody down. I should have prepared you better for my family. They’re a lot.” I’m kicking myself. Brooks was right, my family is like the fucking mafia. “Now tell me what’s happened.”
We’re crawling through Manhattan. I just want to get her home and make her feel better.
“My period started.” She swallows hard. “And your mom was crying.”
“She was? Where?” I don’t even want to talk about her right now.
“In the bathroom. I overheard her. She thinks I might not be able to have kids. And she could be right.”
I blink, suddenly furious. It’s starting to make sense. “You heard my mom bitching about you in the bathroom?” I say, my voice low.
“She wasn’t bitching. She was upset. You didn’t tell me the two of you had words.”
I wince. “No.” And I wasn’t planning to.
“She hates me. And I know you love her.”
I shake my head. “She doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t know you.” I run the tip of my tongue along my bottom lip. “And the kid thing?”
“My periods are getting worse. Ange said maybe I’m perimenopausal. Which could impact me having kids. And I don’t even know if you want them.”
“I want you,” I tell her honestly. “The rest is negotiable. And there’s more than one way to have children.” We’ve barely made any progress through the streets at all. The Saturday night traffic is insane.
“Can you pull over?” I ask the driver.
“What’s happening?” Tessa asks.
“Just wait here,” he tells me. “I’ll be right back.”
TESSA
I take a deep breath and try to center myself as Linc climbs out of the car and disappears into a crowd on the sidewalk. Maybe he’s had enough. Maybe he’s going back to the restaurant without me.
Maybe he’s calling his mom to tell her she’s right and he’s going to call it off between us.
I sit quietly in the backseat, trying not to look at the driver because I’m certain he must have heard my full meltdown.
I never meltdown. I’m so embarrassed.
Five minutes later, Linc climbs back into the car with a CVS bag in his hands. It looks full.
“Okay,” he said. “I think we need to attack this one thing at a time.” He pulls out a pack of painkillers. And a bottle of water. The car pulls away again. Then he pulls out two different packs of tampons – ones with applicators and ones without – and some pads.
I can’t help it, I start to laugh through the tears. “You bought me tampons?”
“I’m trying to be practical.”
“I think that’s the most romantic thing anybody’s ever bought me,” I tell him. I’m not lying. Flowers are easy. But walking into a pharmacy and perusing the shelves in the period aisle?
If I wasn’t already certain I was in love with him before, this would seal it.
“I love you,” I tell him.
“You haven’t seen the rest of what I bought yet.” But there’s a smile on his face. “And by the way, I’m so in love with you.”
I start crying again. “I’m sorry.”
“Never be sorry for showing emotion.” He pulls me close, kisses my forehead .
“I want to have children with you,” I blurt out. Because I’m sure of it. I want it all.
He kisses my jaw, my cheek, then my lips.
“Ditto.”
I’ve never felt safer in my life. Or more loved. As soon as we walk into his apartment he makes me take the painkillers then helps me change into one of his t-shirts, while he makes me a hot water bottle and gives me a choice from the five different chocolate bars he’s bought.
And then he lectures me about making a gyno appointment. I promise to do it on Monday. And he tells me again that whatever I want – kids or no kids – he’s fine with that.
I believe him, too. But now I’m thinking about it, I’m more certain that I want to try for at least one baby with him. Something to talk about with my doctor I guess.
I turn to look at him. “I love you.” Now that I’ve said it once I can’t stop saying it. “So much.”
“I love you too.” He kisses my neck. “And I’m sorry about my mom. She isn’t usually like that. I should have prepared you for them all a little better. Maybe introduced you two somewhere smaller.”
“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to choose between us,” I tell him.
“I don’t feel like that. And there’s no choice anyway.” He kisses me softly. “I don’t want to be without you. I already told you how all in I am. I don’t give a damn how she feels about that.”
The painkillers are starting to work. My abdominal pains are receding. And the anxiety is, too. I make a note to talk about that with the doctor. “Thank you for being so kind to me,” I tell him .
“I always want to be kind to you,” he tells me. “We’re a team.”
My chest tightens. This man is everything. I can’t believe I used to think he was arrogant. He’s not. He’s beautiful and he’s loyal and I want to spend the rest of my life showing him how much I appreciate that.
But I also know he loves his family.
“We can try again with her,” I tell him. I’m not going to let her reaction to me spoil things. We’ve come too far for that.
“There’s no way you have to see her again if you don’t want to.”
“I want to,” I say. Because I’ve realized something. I’m not scared of her. But I understand her.
I understand that his mom is the scared one. Afraid of change. Of somebody hurting her son. Or even worse, afraid of losing him. Especially after she almost lost him all those years ago when she made the worst decision she ever could.
But she’s still his mom. And he loves her. So I’ll give her a second chance.
“Now can we go to bed?” he asks me, tangling his fingers in my hair as our mouths softly meet. “Because I need to be horizontal with you.”
“I’m on my period.”
“I know. That’s why I’ll be keeping it PG.”
I smile against his mouth. “Then take me to bed.”