Chapter 29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
TESSA
Linc arrives at my house extremely late on Friday. I ended up getting a key made for him. Much to his annoyance, I left it under a pot at the front of the house, because I needed to get to bed and Zoe is at a friend’s for a sleepover before going to her dad’s tomorrow. Still, he must have found it because I wake up to him laying in my bed, his arms around my waist, spooning me from behind.
I turn to look at him and his eyes catch mine.
“When did you get back?” I ask him.
“About an hour ago.” He presses his lips against mine. “Flight was delayed by an hour. Some motherfucker missed the boarding call and we missed our takeoff spot.”
“Was it you?”
He smiles against my mouth. “No, but I’m guessing it was somebody important. I was the first one on there. Couldn’t wait to get back to you.” He pushes the hair from my face. “You look like shit, Carmichael. ”
“Thanks.” I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop the smile from pulling at my lips. I’m just so happy he’s back.
I didn’t know I’d find it this hard for us to be apart. And yes, some of that is my messed up hormones but the rest is him.
I can’t bear to be without him.
“Seriously, did you get any sleep without me here?”
“Not much,” I admit. He turns so my head is resting on his chest. He starts to stroke my hair. I always thought I’d be happy alone. I was never afraid of being the only one in the house. But when Zoe is at her dad’s and Linc’s in Paris I’ve hated the echo of silence that greets me every time I walk in.
“I told you that you should have stayed at my place,” Linc says. His fingers are drawing circles on my spine.
“I’m not moving into your apartment,” I murmur, closing my eyes because having him here is making me feel relaxed for the first time in days.
“You’ll have to eventually,” he says softly.
“Why?”
“Because this place isn’t big enough for three people.”
My eyes fly open again. “You want us to move in with you?” I ask him.
“I mean, not immediately.” He grins at me. “We need to tell Zoe about us first. And get her used to us being together. But it’s going to happen eventually. Once the Paris office is up and running and I’m back here full time I won’t be hopping from one bed to another. I want you in mine.”
“And Zoe?” I whisper.
“We’ll get her room decorated any way she wants it. Hell, we can move into a new apartment if she prefers. We’ll talk about it.”
“Isn’t it too soon?” I ask him.
For the first time uncertainty flits over his face. And this is a man who is never uncertain. “Is that what you think?” he asks. “Because I’m of the opinion that it can’t come soon enough. I want you and Zoe living with me. If that’s not what you want…”
“I didn’t say that. I just…” I let out a mouthful of air. “I haven’t even met your family yet. What if they hate me?”
“Why would they hate you?” he asks, a smile flitting at his lips. “They’ll fucking love you. Now shut up and let me show you how much I’ve missed you.”
“I thought you were tired.”
“Never too tired for that, Carmichael. Now spread your legs and let me in.”
I do as he asks, as he drags his finger along me, until he finds the part that needs him most.
“Christ, I missed this,” he whispers, kissing his way down my body.
“I missed you too,” I whisper and then he buries his face between my thighs and all rational thought rushes out of my brain.
Linc has to leave to meet up with his brothers and his father for a meeting. I should be working on the house, but instead I call Angela in a panic, because nothing in my closet looks good enough to wear to meet his family. I didn’t want to spend money on a new dress, but something new is needed.
“Don’t panic,” she tells me. “I’m on my way.”
She ends up taking me to a consignment store she knows right outside the city. She insists on sitting on a bench seat with a tie wrapped around her neck as she assesses each outfit I try on, like we’re in some kind of rerun of Pretty Woman .
“Too flouncy,” she says about the first dress. And she’s right. I’m not a flouncy kind of girl, no matter how pretty the pink feathery skirt is .
“Too tight.” She wrinkles her nose at the second dress. “You have a kick ass body but that one makes you look like you have a pooch.”
I look down and she’s right. “Ugh. I’m getting old.”
“It’s not you, sweetie. It’s the dress.”
The third one is black satin. It’s as tight as the last one, but in all the right places.
“Hello boobs,” Angela says, staring at the neckline. “Jesus, Linc’s eyes are going to pop out.”
I look down. Yeah, they really do look impressive in this.
“You look like you’ve had a boob job,” Angela tells me, laughing. “All of you will be like this once you two are living together.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he’s rich and you’ll be able to afford all the mom glow ups.”
And there it is again, that little feeling of inadequacy. I don’t even know where it’s coming from. “Do you think I need them?” I ask, my voice quiet.
“Oh honey.” She rushes over to me, hugging me so tight my boobs squash against her chest. “I was joking. Of course you don’t need surgery. You don’t need anything. You’re perfect.” She shakes her head. “I speak before I think sometimes. You know that.”
“It’s not you. I know you were joking. I’m just waiting for my period to start and my body feels bloated and I’m in that I hate myself hormonal phase.”
She looks at me for a minute. “When is your period due?”
“I don’t know. This week sometime.”
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
I roll my eyes at her. “Positive.” At least that’s one thing I can be sure of. “I just can’t understand why they’re getting worse.” I sigh. Because I hate feeling this way, I really do.
“Maybe you’re perimenopausal.”
I frown. “What? ”
“You know, like about to hit the menopause. Like your body is in it’s last ditch effort to keep you fertile, so it’s throwing all the hormones it has at you until it finally gives up.”
“You think I’m menopausal?” I ask her, a sick feeling tugging at my stomach. “I’m only thirty-five.” And now I suddenly feel older. So much older than Linc’s thirty-two years.
Angela’s eyes widen as though she’s sensed she’s made things worse. “It was just a suggestion. It’s probably nothing. I was just trying to help.”
“But what if I am?” I ask. “Linc’s in the prime of his life. He won’t want to be with me.”
She shakes her head. “Of course he will. I mean you won’t have to worry about birth control at least.”
I know she’s trying to cheer me up. “What if Linc wants kids?” I ask her. And now I’m panicking again. How can a few years between us feel like a lifetime?
Any single guy worth anything isn’t gonna saddle himself with a single mom. Especially not one approaching forty.
Jared’s words of the other week echo in my mind. He’s wrong about Linc, I know he is. But I also know Linc adores his nieces and nephews. He’s going to want kids.
“Have you and Linc talked about having a family?” she asks me.
“No.” And why haven’t we? He’s already talking about us moving in together and we haven’t even spoken about the most important thing.
“Do you want more?” she asks me. And all these questions are just making me panic.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not sure.” I’m getting older, my career is finally on track. And then there’s Zoe. She’s getting closer to college than kindergarten. Even if she gets a scholarship, my half of her expenses are going to pretty much wipe me out .
Everything’s happened too quickly. I feel like an idiot for not talking with him more. I’m in love with him, but I have no idea what he wants from me.
“You two need to talk,” Angela says.
I give her the smallest of smiles. “We do,” I agree. “We’ll do it tomorrow. If I don’t mess tonight up.”
“You won’t mess it up,” she tells me. “You’re perfect for each other. Anybody can see that.”
“As long as his family does.” I sigh. “Then we can get through the rest.”
LINC
“So that’s it.” My father’s lawyer takes the last document from Brooks and slides it into his portfolio. We’ve spent the last hour signing contracts and agreeing to changes in my father’s real estate holdings. Nothing major, just something he likes to do every now and again. Even at his age he can’t let go. He likes to move his money and properties around like a croupier at a casino. Despite the fact that Liam and Myles are perfectly capable of running his finances for him.
We also needed to add Francie – our baby sister – to the list of beneficial owners. For now her mom, Dad’s current wife Julia, will represent her at board meetings. But eventually she’ll take her place at this table with us.
“Well okay then. Thank you, boys.” My father nods at us. I meet Myles’ gaze and we both bite down a grin, because our father is the only one who thinks of us as kids still. Myles is in his forties, even Brooks and I are in our thirties.
Our dad stands and takes Julia’s hand. “We’ll see you at the Plaza this evening.” The two of them walk out of his attorney’s New York office – open on a Saturday at his request – and the six of us follow. Eli and Holden are at the front, talking about Eli’s hockey team, followed by Liam and Brooks.
Myles walks beside me. “We’re looking forward to meeting Tessa tonight,” he says.
“She’s looking forward to it, too,” I reply and Brooks coughs out a laugh.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nobody looks forward to meeting our family,” Brooks replies, shaking his head. “Have you seen us? It’s like the wedding scene in the Godfather . People shake at the knees when they have to be near the Salingers.”
“We’re not exactly the Mafia,” Myles says.
“Yeah, but we’re still fucking intimidating. Do you know how many girlfriends I lost because they were scared of you guys?”
“Seriously?” Myles frowns.
Brooks shrugs. “Not everybody loves big families.”
“Tessa will be fine,” I say confidently. “She’s not afraid of you all. She’s a grown woman with a kid and a career. Five Salinger brothers aren’t going to scare her.”
“Of course we won’t,” Myles says confidently. “We’re like teddy bears.”
“Except for the cute and cuddly part,” Brooks says.
“Bears then.” Liam grins.
“Like wolves,” Brooks adds. “But bigger. So you’re pretty much throwing the girl you like to the wolves.”
“Woman,” I correct. “And I don’t just like her.”
All five of them stop walking. I barrage into Brooks’ back.
“What?”
“I said she’s a woman.”
Brooks sighs. “The other part.” His eyes meet mine.
“I’m in love with her.” I’m not ashamed of it. “I just haven’t told her yet.”
“Why not?” Myles asks .
“Because I’ve been flying back and forth over the Atlantic for the past few weeks.” I huff. “But I’m going to tell her.”
“You should tell her before we meet her,” Brooks says, smirking. “Because now we’re going to be staring at her like she’s some kind of zoological specimen.”
“The woman who tamed Linc Salinger,” Eli murmurs.
“Roll up and see her. Only ten dollars a look,” Brooks shouts out, clearly enjoying himself.
I send them all a dirty look. “Seriously? Did I treat your women like this when you were falling in love with them?”
“Yes,” they all say at once. And then they start to laugh.
“No wonder she doesn’t want to meet you,” I mutter. “I’m half inclined to take her out to dinner just the two of us.” Not least because on Sunday night I have to catch a fucking flight back to Paris. Spending the morning at the damn lawyer’s office and tonight with the family is cutting into our alone time.
“No you won’t,” Myles says smoothly. “Because you want us to meet her. You want us to love her the way you do. And we will. Now go home and chill out. We’ll see you tonight.”
As always, our big brother has the final word.
TESSA
“You look absolutely fuckable,” Linc says, giving me the dirtiest look as we climb out of the town car he ordered. He takes my hand and we walk up the steps to the restaurant. “I keep pinching myself to make sure that you’re really mine.”
“I was aiming for ‘meeting the parents’ classy,” I tell him.
He smirks. “You look like that, too.”
After we went dress shopping, Angela insisted on calling her hairdresser, who somehow managed to squeeze me in. My long hair is teased into waves that tumble around my shoulders. I put on more makeup than I usually do, though it’s still pretty natural.
Linc’s gaze dips to my dress again, taking in the way it clings to my body.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I say, smiling. Because this man looks like a god in a tux. I’ve been trying to push my conversation with Angela out of my mind. We can talk about it tomorrow. Tonight is about Linc and his family.
I’m determined to make a good impression.
“My family is going to love you,” he whispers, brushing his lips against my cheek. How can he read my mind so easily. “But if you hate them, tell me and I’ll disown them in a heartbeat. We’ll never see them again.”
I laugh. “Stop it, I know they’re important to you.”
“Not as important as you are,” he says, suddenly serious. He squeezes my hand as we walk into the foyer. The paneled walls are painted in cream and gold, and there’s a huge chandelier sparkling from the center of the ceiling. The place screams old money.
The Maitre D’ recognizes Linc right away. “I spent a lot of time here with my dad when we were kids,” he whispers in my ear. “Whenever Brooks and I were home from school he’d bring us here for dinner.”
“Mr. Salinger,” the Maitre D’ murmurs. “Your party is in our private room. Angelica will take you.”
“Thank you.” Linc nods.
Angelica smiles at us both, her long, black slicked-back hair shining in the lamplight. “Please come with me.”
When we enter the private room we’re greeted by a cacophony of voices. The room is large – a small ballroom rather than a private dining room – but it’s full of people. We barely make it inside before Linc gets greeted by somebody. I try to step back but he grabs my hand and pulls me to his side .
“This is Tessa,” he says, sliding his arm around my waist. “Tessa, this is my kind-of-mom, Linda.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Linda kisses my cheek as I tell her likewise. From what I can remember, Linda is Linc’s older brothers’ mom. “But don’t tell Deandra I’m the first to meet you. She’ll kill me.”
From there I’m introduced to so many people my head begins to spin. I meet his brother Holden and his wife Blair, who are both glowing after their honeymoon, and then I’m introduced to Eli, his brother who is a hockey coach and make an idiot out of myself by asking what stadium they play in.
“Arena,” Linc murmurs in my ear because he knows I’m clueless when it comes to sports.
And then I meet Myles and Liam, his oldest brothers. They’re standing at the bar with their wives and as soon as I’m introduced their attention is firmly on me. They all shake my hand.
“I hear you have a daughter,” Myles says, offering me a glass of champagne.
“Can I have an orange juice?” I ask, because champagne goes straight to my head and I’m already worried about making an idiot out of myself in front of his family.
Linc glances at me. “Everything okay?”
“I just want to pace myself.” I give him a smile.
Myles passes me a glass of juice.
“How old is your daughter?” Ava, Myles’ wife asks. She has such a friendly face. I begin to relax.
“She’s thirteen.”
“Linc has to deal with a teenager?” Liam asks, starting to laugh. “Oh boy.”
“She’s a good kid,” Linc says and I squeeze his hand. “Much nicer than you all were when you were teenagers.”
“That’s because you’re boys,” Ava says. Then she looks at me. “I’m finding the post-toddler years hard enough. I’ll have to get your advice on how to deal with teenagers. ”
“I’m not sure I can give any advice,” I tell her honestly. “It’s kind of like childbirth but years long instead of hours. You just have to get through it.”
They laugh and I find myself relaxing even more. They really are lovely.
And then somebody clears their throat behind my back.
“Mom,” Linc says, turning me to face her. “I was wondering where you were.”
“I had to take a call.” She turns to look at me, her eyes pale. “You must be Tessa,” she says.
“Hi.” I beam at her. She smiles softly back. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Linc’s palm is pressed against the curve of my back.
“Remind me again,” his mom says. “Where did you two meet?”
“Mom, I told you. At work.”
She nods. Behind her Myles and Liam are facing the bar, laughing about something. “You work for my son?” she asks. I still can’t read her expression at all. I wonder if I’ll be like this when I meet the partners Zoe brings home.
I hope not. I hope I’ll be too busy putting them at ease to make them feel awkward.
“She works with me,” Linc says. “For Roman.”
“Oh yes, Roman. A good man. So are you one of the women I see him dating on Instagram?”
“I don’t have an Instagram,” I tell her. “That will be his French girls.”
Linc starts to laugh at my reference to Titanic . His mom doesn’t though.
“Well I should go say hello to everybody,” she says. “Nice to meet you, Tessa.” She leans forward to kiss Linc on the cheek. “We should catch up tomorrow. You could meet me for breakfast.”
Linc shakes his head. “I can’t. I’m taking Tessa to breakfast. ”
Her smile wavers. “Lunch then.”
“I have to fly back to Paris tomorrow afternoon. Next week?” he suggests. And I immediately feel bad because I’m monopolizing his time.
“You should go to breakfast,” I tell him. “I have things to do tomorrow morning anyway.”
“Next week,” Linc says, brooking no argument.
As soon as she leaves I let out a long breath. She barely looked at me. Is it my dress? I look down at the neckline, knowing I should have chosen something else. She so obviously doesn’t like me.
My hands shake as I lift my glass of orange juice to my lips.
“Sorry,” he says, brushing my jaw with his lips. “She’s not great with new people.”
“She was fine when she met Ava,” Myles points out, turning back to us. So he must have heard the whole embarrassingly short introduction. Great .
Ava’s eyes meet mine. She gives me the kindest of smiles. “But you’re not her son, are you?” she says to Myles. “I think she’s just protective of Linc, that’s all.”
“How many girls have you brought home to meet her anyway?” Liam asks. And then his wife – Sophie – pokes him in the ribs. “Ow.”
“He didn’t mean it like that,” Sophie says. “Did you?”
“I don’t know.” Linc frowns. “I can’t think of anybody I’ve introduced her to.”
Ava looks suddenly relieved. “That’ll explain it then.”
“What do you mean?” Linc asks.
“You’re her baby. She’s not used to having to share you.” Ava shrugs. “I hope I’m not like that when Charlie brings home girls, but who knows?”
“She’s just slow to warm up,” Myles agrees. He smiles warmly at me. “For what it’s worth, we’re pleased to meet you. ”
Liam nods in agreement. “There’s just one thing I want to know?”
I force a smile onto my face. “What is it?”
“How the hell do you put up with him? Because I never could.”
LINC
“Mom?” I say, walking after her as she makes her way across the room to Linda and Julia. “Can I have a word?”
I’m annoyed with her. And with myself. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to introduce Tessa to the family, but after spending the last week fucking pining after her, I wasn’t going to come here without her. There was no reason for Mom to be so cold.
Luckily Ava and Sophie have formed a protective ring around her, along with Blair and Mackenzie – my other brothers’ wives – who are asking her about the Exuma project we were working on together.
I glance at my watch. In five minutes we’ll sit down to dinner. And in an hour I’m going to take Tessa home and make it up to her for my mom’s rudeness.
“Can’t it wait?” Mom asks. “We’re about to eat dinner.”
“No, it can’t.” I take her arm and pull her over to the side. “The way you just talked to Tessa was rude.”
Mom’s gaze meets mine. She doesn’t look sorry at all. “I’m just trying to look after you,” she tells me. “I don’t think she’s right for you.”
“You don’t even know her.” A wave of fury washes through me. “Do you know how hard I had to work to get her to come tonight? After this she’ll probably never want to meet the family again. ”
“Then you have to consider if she’s the right person for you.” Mom lifts a brow. “You have a big family. We’re not all sweetness and light. If she’s going to become part of it she needs to understand that.”
“You were never like this with Ava and Sophie. Or any of the others.”
“They didn’t have children.”
I take a long breath. So here we are, at the crux of it.
“Seriously?” I ask. “You’re holding that against her? You were a single mom yourself.”
“And I didn’t date anybody,” she says, pursing her lips.
“Well maybe you should have.”
For a moment the implacable mask drops. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks. I’ve never seen her like this before. So fucking harsh.
“It means that instead of using me as your emotional crutch you could have found somebody your own damn age.”
She flinches. “That’s unfair.”
“Is it? Or is it unfair to expect your kid to be the one to mop up the mess you left? Do you know how much that day I walked in on you unconscious affected me?”
Her eyes widen. “We are not going to talk about this right now.”
“Of course we’re not.” I roll my eyes. “We never fucking talk about it. I just have nightmares about it instead. Did you know that? Because Tessa knows.”
“You told her?” Mom asks, sounding appalled.
“Yes I told her. And I felt better after. I should have told somebody else a long time ago.”
Mom’s eyes start to glisten. “You promised…”
“I know I did. But I shouldn’t have. And you should never have asked me to. So before you go being a bitch to the woman I love, maybe you should start looking at your own shortcomings. ”
A tear rolls down her cheek and I immediately feel bad. But before I can say anything else, she turns on her heel and walks across the room. Linda takes one look at her face and starts to follow her.
Jesus, I need a drink. As soon as coffee is served, I’m getting Tessa out of here.