Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
ASH
I feel as if I haven’t slept in days, but finally we’ve finished the album.
The boys want to celebrate, but all I want to do is go back to the hotel and sleep.
They’ll drag me along—they always do and actually, it could be a good thing.
So far, we’ve seen very little of New York.
Apart from the odd bar or club, it’s just been the four walls of the studio, our hotel rooms and the inside of an SUV. I need a break from it all.
“I’m taking everyone to dinner,” Bernie says as we make our way out of the studio building.
“I need a quick shower,” Max says.
“I just want a cold beer,” Tommy’s deep voice pipes up. “I’m beat.”
Bernie smiles, “Okay boys, but I’ve booked us a table at one of my favourite places to eat, so you only have time for a quick change, then we’re out.”
“You deserve to let your hair down tonight,” Dani adds as we’re ushered into the back of the black SUV.
“Where the hell is Brett?” I ask her, looking over my shoulder.
“Jesus Christ,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Get in, I can’t afford to lose you too.
” She charges back into the studio while the rest of us wait in the car.
I have an idea he’s with Raye Summers. They met the first day we started recording here.
She’s in the girl band, Pink Shimmer who are also recording here.
“For fuck’s sake Dani, will you let me be,” Brett shouts as Dani pushes him into the car.
“Just get in Brett, I don’t have time to chase you and your little girlfriend around.”
We whistle and call out to him, to which we receive the finger from both hands for our teasing.
He climbs in the back. “Like you lot haven’t been in love.”
“Jesus man, love? Really? You’ve known her a day,” Tommy smirks.
“The city air has gone to your brain, Tom. I met her the first day we arrived, and we’ve been here over two months. And just for your information, my kind of love isn’t what you think it is. Love is for the moment, and if she lasts in that moment, then cool. It’s all good, Tom.”
Jesus, the time we’ve been here feels longer than two months.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate what’s happening to us, but our days are pretty full-on right now.
By 6am we’re on the road to the first of any number of interviews or meet and greets we might have during that day.
Then we’re in the studio finishing our album before getting back to the hotel late in the evening.
The coolest gig we’ve played so far was The St. Cloud Rooftop bar at the Knickerbocker Hotel.
We launched the new single there and a few tracks from the album.
It was pretty amazing to look out over Times Square while we played.
The floor shook, our sound bouncing against the backdrop of one of the most famous skylines in the world.
The atmosphere was electric, and the select industry crowd who joined us were on fire.
I couldn’t take it all in, it didn’t seem real, and I get pumped just thinking about it.
We’re living the dream by earning money from the one career we all wanted, and it far exceeds anything university offered.
Our music is more than a passion, it’s our livelihood now.
The boys are taking the piss out of Brett, so Bernie takes the opportunity to check on me while they’re distracted. His hand lands on my arm, gaining my attention. “You okay Ash? You look a little down. You missing Cal?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “All the time Bern. All the fucking time, but what’s a guy to do? I can’t force her to travel with me. She has her own stuff to do, that was always the deal.”
“I tried to warn you, Ash. This life is never easy for the significant other, but you’re young, and if you have anything on your side, it’s time.”
“Stop being such a sap,” Max says from the seat behind, slapping the back of my head.
“You lot weren’t meant to be listening,” Bernie scowls but Max carries on regardless.
“For the first time in our lives, there’s wall to wall women wherever we go, and you want the one woman who doesn’t want to be around you 24/7.”
I give Max the finger, but Tommy cuts in, “You just wish you had a girl like Cal. She’s the coolest chick I know.”
“Oh, I know how cool she is, which makes me think you’re entering dangerous territory by leaving her behind, Ash.
All those hot-blooded, testosterone-fuelled student types giving her more than the eye after pumping iron at the uni gym.
A girl like Cal could have her pick, so don’t be surprised if you never see her again. ”
“Fuck off, Max.” I reach over the seat and return his slap on the head. “I know you’re winding me up, but it won’t wash. Calla isn’t like that.”
“She wasn’t like that, but people change,” he says.
“Talk to me when you’ve been seeing a girl for more than one night, then I’ll take relationship advice from you.
” I’m laughing on the outside, but inside, my head has gone into overdrive.
I’m already sowing seeds of doubt about my trust in Cal which has never happened before.
We fell for each other quickly, what are the chances of it happening for her again with someone else?
What exactly does Cal do once her lectures finish for the day?
When we get the chance to speak, she tells me she misses me every day, and her texts say she’s staying home to study, but for all I know, she could be out with a different guy every night.
“Don’t take any notice of him,” Tom reassures. “Leave it, Max, you’re a pain in the arse,” he says over his shoulder, then turns back to me. “Hey, don’t look so down, man.” Again, Tommy reads me like a book. Perhaps the doubt on my face is too obvious.
“I’m knackered and hungry for sure, but not down,” I lie. “I’m looking forward to a good dinner, plenty of drinks and sleeping until noon. We get tomorrow off, right?”
“I think you’ve earned it,” Bernie winks.
“Don’t get too relaxed. You have a heavy day Thursday.” Dani chimes in.
I nod, dropping my head back to the headrest. As soon as I close my eyes, Cal’s beautiful blue eyes appear, her long dark hair blowing softly against the sea breeze while we walk, barefoot, in the sand.
“Take my hand,” she breathes, and I stretch mine out towards her.
She pulls me along; the gentle tones of her laugh, making me smile.
The dress she wears is short, transparent and flowing.
It brushes over her golden skin while she runs ahead, looking back to check where I am.
Then I’m under the pier with Cal’s body wrapped around mine.
The thin material of her dress rises over her slim thighs.
“Wake up big boy,” she says, but the voice and words aren’t hers.
I’m confused until I feel a slap on my face. “Come on, it’s time to wake up and shake up,” Dani says. Slowly, I come round; my head feels washed out. I must have fallen asleep, in fact, I know I did. Cal always comes back to me in my dreams.
Thank fuck we don’t have to share rooms at the hotel. It means I get to call Cal when I’m alone; it’s definitely better for the boys not to hear my conversations with her.
I don’t have time to call her tonight; I wish I had.
It’s so late here, she’s probably sleeping anyway as it’s the early hours of the morning there.
Even if I was to call and wake her, she would never complain.
I miss her so bad the only thing keeping me going is knowing our time in New York is short term, and at some point, I will get home to my girl.
I attempt to get changed quickly and focus on the giant hamburger and cold beer I’m craving. I just hope the place we’re going to, serves them.
Sitting in the back of a limousine, I watch the lights of the city flash by while my head leans against the window. I’m so homesick, or rather, Cal sick, my heart hurts and my stomach knots just thinking of her. I wonder where she is and who she is with.
I imagine any girl I see with sleek black hair, is Cal from behind and as it flows from side to side, I’m mesmerised.
While she walks, I study her legs—fuck, those long legs.
I miss sliding my hand over them, appreciating the softness of her skin and the way it pimples under my touch.
I want to stop the car, get out and grab her, but this is just my imagination playing tricks. Of course, none of these girls are Cal.
“What’s up with you, man?” Tommy says. “You’re too quiet tonight.”
“Just… nothing.”
“Nothing? You’ve been brooding over your woman all day. Something spooked you?”
“I’m tired, that’s all.”
“I don’t think so.”
Seeing as it was only the two of us in the limo, why not tell Tom the truth? He’s been there. When he left his hometown to go to university, he tried to keep things going with his girlfriend, but it didn’t work out. At least he has an idea of what I’m going through.
“This is hard bro, you know?”
“Yeah, I kinda get it. I hate to say this man, but Bernie and Dani were right. They said—”
“I know what they said.” I sigh, realising I shouldn’t have snapped. “Sorry Tom, I’m just sick of hearing it.”
“Don’t worry about it. Look, Cal will be okay. She has Scottie and Angie to keep an eye on her.”
“Yeah, talking of which, you never told me what happened with Angie. What went on with you two? I thought you liked her, but Cal said you dropped her like a tonne of bricks.”
He huffs out a long slow breath through his puffed cheeks. “Angie, yeah. She has magical powers man. Hooked me right in from the minute I saw her but… I don’t know. It wasn’t the right time.”
“When is the right time?” I ask knowing he doesn’t have the answer.
“There never is one. You just got to fight for your girl, keep things going.”
“But you weren’t prepared to do the same?”
“I’m not that kind, Ash. You are.”
“Wow, way to get out of awkward questioning,” I laugh.