Chapter 14 #5
“Holy mother of God! I can’t believe all this!” he exclaimed, furious. “Send them to me so I can submit them as evidence, though it won’t be easy to show them if I’m naked. I’ll figure something out.”
“Alright. Do you have any idea who might have planned this? The person has too much information about us, even my phone number,” I asked, surprised by his story, still unable to understand how someone could go to such lengths to set up this whole scheme, evidently someone who knew us quite well.
“I don’t know the woman, I’ve never seen her before, but we assume she was hired. The mastermind behind all this wasn’t that woman. Also, the person who took the photographs wasn’t her. That person was also at the bar, but it wasn’t that woman.”
“In your house it was her. It’s clear those photographs were taken by that woman.”
“Do you believe me, Dalina? I understand there were many things against me, but do you believe me now?”
“I suppose so,” I said, with tears running down my cheeks.
“Tell me where you are,” he asked. “I don’t care if I have to go to the end of the world to find you.”
“Henry, I think it’s better if we take some time apart.”
“Whaaaat? What are you saying? Why?” he asked, bewildered by my suggestion.
“I need it,” I whispered, my heart breaking, but I said it with conviction, because I felt it was what I needed.
“That phrase is terrifying,” he stated. “I don’t want that, I don’t want to be separated from you. Is it because you still have doubts?”
“Now I don’t have doubts about what happened.
But this situation made me think and I realized there are things I don’t like, I realized that it does affect me that there are many women in your past and around you, women you’ve had sex with and who must still call you and must send you messages, and we both know those messages come with revealing images, they must invite you out.
.. whatever. I don’t know if I can handle that.
.. Maybe you’re right and the age difference affects us or maybe it’s the way we approach life.
For example, the other day when we ran into one of your friends, she thought she had the right to sit in my place and start flirting with you, she asked you to call her, she sent you photos of herself in underwear, she didn’t respect that you were with me.
.. and it will probably always be like that. And you...”
“I should have told her I wasn’t going to call her, I should have made it clear that I’m only interested in being with you,” he said, interrupting me.
“But you didn’t. You only did it when you saw I was upset about the message. At that moment I didn’t dwell on it, but the truth is that it hurt me, it still hurts.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I need to distance myself for a while.”
“Don’t you love me anymore?”
“Love doesn’t end from one day to the next, but love isn’t begged for, it’s earned.”
“And I don’t deserve your love?” he asked.
“I don’t know…fate seems to always put obstacles in our path.”
“Fate can go to hell!” he exclaimed. “We are stronger than fate.”
“Are we? Because right now I don’t feel either strong or brave enough to face anything.”
“Dalina, tell me where you are. Let me talk to you in person.”
“What do you feel for me, Henry?”
That was the million-dollar question, but I received only silence in response.
“You’re not going to answer,” I stated.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he finally said.
“That’s not the answer to my question.”
He didn’t say anything to my last comment either.
“It’s for the best, Henry. Right now I feel lost, I need to think, think about what I want and what I need. I think you need that too.”
“I don’t need it, I don’t want us to be apart. Let me come see you,” he pleaded.
“That’s not the best thing. I’m going to stay here for a few days and when I come back, if we still want to, we’ll have a conversation.”
“What about the love you feel for me? Before all this happened, you were willing to love me, you didn’t need time to think.”
“I already told you that all this made me realize I was accepting things I didn’t like, and no matter how much I love you, I won’t settle for crumbs, I want the whole cake.”
“What is it that you want?” he asked, defeated.
“You already know that. I don’t want to settle for something that isn’t mutual.”
I felt him sigh with weariness, evidently understanding that he couldn’t give me what I was asking for.
“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” he asked, defeated.
“No, Henry.”
“If that’s what you want, you leave me no choice but to accept it, but keep in mind that I don’t want to be away from you.”
“I hope everything gets cleared up and they can find that woman,” I said, without commenting on the last thing he had said, there was no point in continuing to insist on the same thing.
“Dalina, I’m going to keep calling you and I ask that you answer.”
“And you need to understand that there may be times when I don’t feel like talking, and I ask you to respect that.”
“Take care.”
“You too. Goodbye, Henry,” I said farewell, and ended the call.
When I hung up, the music started playing again and at that moment “What About Us” by Pink began.
The lump in my throat grew and grew, and that beautiful romantic song didn’t help to ease it.
I was overwhelmed by absolute sadness, sadness in recognizing that we had been vilely deceived, sadness for having ended my relationship with Henry, because even though what happened had been clarified, I knew we weren’t going to stay together, he didn’t love me and I no longer wanted to continue like this.
He had told me he was confused and needed time to know what he felt, but it seemed that confusion would be eternal and I no longer wanted to wait.
I no longer wanted to be close, that would surely confuse him even more and might even make him feel obligated to reciprocate my feelings.
Although it hurt, the best thing was for us to distance ourselves.