Chapter 29 #2
I froze and curled my fingers down over my thumb. What in the name of magic was I doing? Why was that what my brain had decided would help? Could I be any more awkward? His little huff of laughter danced over my cock and made me shiver.
“Hi,” he whispered as his grin widened.
Phew. I hadn't turned him off.
My dick bobbed as if seeking more of his heated breath. Then he licked his lips. I held my breath. And when the tip of his tongue brushed against my cock? I was gone.
My whole body quivered as my orgasm shot over me before I could even warn him.
But he didn’t shout in surprise or pull back.
He closed his mouth around me and swallowed.
My toes curled. My fingers clutched at the blankets.
My hips jerked upward. And I swear rainbows shot out around me like I was a freaking prism dangling from a rearview mirror in the sunlight.
“Fluffer knuckle sparkle blast,” I muttered when my high faded.
My eyes fluttered open—when had I closed them? As our gazes caught, Nelson swiped his thumb over his bottom lip like he didn’t want to miss a drop of my cum. Holy hoofer noodle.
I didn’t even know what I was thinking anymore. Words were just smashing all together in random ways. My brain was completely blitzed out. I didn’t know sex could do that.
As Nelson crawled up my body, he dropped kisses on my skin. “That was hot.”
My cheeks heated, but I took him at his word. “Should I…um… do that to you now?”
“Do you want to?”
“I told you. I want to do everything with you.”
“Then we’ll do that later. Right now, I need to kiss you. Hold you.” His cheeks darkened as he spoke, as if he wasn’t comfortable having revealed so much.
I cupped his cheek and grinned up at him. “Okay. Let’s do that. For now.”
His erection pressed against my hip as he settled over me. I loved it. Being held tight between the soft mattress and Nelson’s hard body was everything I could have dreamed of and more. I hadn’t known it’d make me feel so safe—like my personal cocoon made up of everything wonderful in the world.
When his mouth met mine, it was even better. As our kisses deepened, magical ribbons of rainbows and dark mist erupted in the air like fireworks at midnight. The perfect backdrop to this moment.
My hands explored, sweeping over his body as if it was their very own amusement park. He was so smooth and warm and… I grabbed his butt. It was as perfect as I’d imagined. His muscles flexed under my grip.
Great galloping giraffes!
Yep. Touching his butt had short circuited my synapses again. But the good news was that my dick had recovered and was ready for round two.
“Fumbling frustrated fruitcakes!” I shouted as I pulled my mouth from his.
Nelson pulled back, looking startled at my outburst.
“We don’t have lube!” I knew we didn’t need condoms like humans—thanks to an uncomfortably candid conversation I’d had with my uncle when I hit puberty—but I knew we’d need lube.
Nelson grinned and shook his head. “There are lots of things we can do without lube.”
My bottom lip popped out. I hadn’t meant to pout but… come on. This wasn’t a laughing matter. I wanted every color in this rainbow, all the orgasms. Everything!
“Besides, we have lube.” Nelson brushed his mouth over mine in a quick kiss.
“We do?”
He nodded. His face flushed like he’d confessed something embarrassing. Hmm… Now that I thought about it, carrying around lube was kind of naughty.
“Wait… Is it frozen?” That didn’t sound nice.
“No.” Then he paused. “Well, it shouldn’t be. It's in my coat pocket.”
I frowned at him. “Do you always carry lube in your pocket?”
“No. But…” He pressed his face against my neck, before whispering, “I thought we might need it.”
“Really? Because I wasn’t sure you were into me.”
Nelson braced himself on his elbow so he could look me in the eye. “I’ve been attracted to you since I first saw you. I just…” He frowned. “You deserve so much, Morgan. Things I can’t give you. You should really save yourself for someone else. You shouldn’t give this moment to me.”
I clutched at him—wrapping both my arms and legs around him—in case he got the ridiculous idea to roll away. “I don’t know what gave you that idea, but I’m not at all special. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re the one getting the bad end of this whole thing.”
He rested his forehead against mine. “I shouldn’t be in your life if I can’t stand in the light with you.”
“You shouldn’t try to guess what I want because, honestly, you’re horrible at it.”
“You’re…”
“If you say I’m a unicorn as some kind of explanation, I might have to bite you. I might not be a wolf shifter, but a unicorn’s teeth aren’t anything to sneeze at.”
“What does that even mean?”
I thought over what I’d said. Okay. That had sounded weird. “You know what I meant.”
“Besides," Nelson said, "lots of supes bite during sex.”
“Really? Wouldn’t that hurt?”
“Not if done right.”
“Huh.” That was… intriguing. “Wait. We’re getting off track. Why are you trying to talk me out of this? Don’t you want me?”
“I’ve been trying to keep you at arm’s length,” Nelson admitted as he pressed his face against my neck again. “Clearly I’m not doing a good job of it.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because you deserve so much more than me…” he whispered. “I’m not a good person. Fuck. I’ve done things…”
He’d worked for the SC, and I’d heard enough rumors to guess what he was talking about.
But weirdly, the idea of Nelson killing people didn’t bother me as much as it probably should have.
I knew he would only have resorted to that if he had no other choice.
And he wouldn’t have done it if the person hadn’t done awful, terrible things. I trusted him.
“The way I was raised…” he continued.
“I don’t care who raised you. They aren’t you.”
“You don’t understand. They weren’t good people.
Mercenaries. Thieves. Assassins. And they raised me to be like them.
I was robbing people by the time I was five.
I was fifteen when I took another person’s life.
The mage… She caught me stealing an enchanted scroll.
I didn’t even know she was dead until the next day.
My mom ran away when she heard, leaving me with my father. ” He swallowed hard.
Tears filled my eyes. I wanted to find his family and stomp on them. All of them.
“My mom knew I was just like the rest of them. That’s why she left.” He let out a shaky breath. “I went into the shadows for a long time after that. I don’t know if I’d survive if you left me too.”
“I’m not leaving.” I poked his chest to drive home my point. “And I think you’re a better person than you believe.”
He shook his head.
“Really. I might not have met your team yet, but I know enough. I know that they are there for you. I know you respect them, and you wouldn’t respect someone who was an asshole.
I know you trust them. And I know you have been trying to find me all this time, not because someone told you to, but because you wanted to.
Bad people don’t have a network like that.
And they don’t go out of their way to help strangers. ”
“If it wasn’t for Gage, I’d probably have lost myself to the shadows centuries ago. He found me at my lowest… He saved me.” Nelson averted his eyes.
“And Gage is a demon. He knows about people, right?”
“Yes, but…”
“And how long ago was it that Gage found you?”
“I don’t know exactly. I was pretty out of it at the time. I think the Sun King was still in Versailles.”
I gaped. “Oh my magic… Did you wear a cloak back then?”
Nelson rolled his eyes at my attempt at levity, but his mouth quirked a little before he got serious again. “I promised Gage that I’d never steal from anyone for personal gain again.”
I did a tiny bit of math. “So… you’ve been with Gage all that time?”
“Time doesn’t absolve me,” he argued.
“No, but I think maybe Gage did. He gave you a second chance.”
“I’m trying to explain why you might want to hit pause on this,” Nelson said. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. There are lots of other things we can do without penetration.”
“No way. Nope, I don’t want to be at arm’s length. I much prefer having your arms around me instead.” I squeezed him. “I want you, Nelson. I want you to be my first.” And my always. But I didn’t say that last part aloud.
“Why?”
“Because I do. That probably doesn’t sound like a great reason, but honestly that’s never happened before. No one else did it for me.” I held him tight. “Just you.”
I’d hold him as long as he needed me to. I’d show him he couldn’t scare me away.
So what if we didn’t get to use the lube tonight. One step at a time, right?
Man, I hated going slow. It was so much better to leap in with all four hooves. But for Nelson, I could do it.