Chapter Thirty-Six #2
It feels like a rose blooms in my chest, puffing it out. “I guess, yeah.” I bring my hand to the back of my neck and remember my hair isn’t tied up.
“I like your hair down,” Giles says, and he brings his fingers to the side of my face, combing through my hair. “I’ve wondered what you looked like with it down for a long time.”
“You say long time, but all of this, between us, it’s only been a little over a month.”
“I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” His hands continue to snake through my hair. “I wish I had met you earlier. Or rather, I wish I’d gotten to know you better earlier.”
“Me too. But who knows how long we will live? This may not even be the middle we’re stuck in. Maybe we have fifty or sixty more years ahead of us.”
“Together?” His hand stills as it cups my cheek.
“Together,” I confirm.
He pulls my face to his and places his lips on mine. It has all the familiarity of our other kisses, but there’s something else there. Something new and hopeful and exciting. Giles tastes like a promise I know I will always keep.
We kiss slowly and deeply for many long minutes, sealing our fate together, but then a switch is flicked and I slide my hand up his thigh, and reach for the back of his head with my other palm, fixing him in place.
“Fuck, I want you,” I say against his mouth, my teeth grazing his lips.
“I’m right here,” he replies just as desperate. “I’m yours.”
I pull back. “But I said I’d bottom next time.”
He gives me a confused frown. “This isn’t a sex lesson.”
I blink. “No, you’re right, it’s not. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise.” He smiles, making his moustache twitch. “Unless…. Do you want to bottom?”
“I don’t know. I like the idea of you fucking me. I like the idea of us… making love, like that.”
“Making love,” he repeats, the grin still on his lips. “If it’s what you want, I’ll happily make love to you like that.”
“I think I do want that,” I say. And I know I’m being honest because all I can think about is Giles naked on top of me, claiming me, giving me another first. Another moment I’ll remember forever.
And then the romantic fantasies evaporate like smoke. “But I haven’t prepped,” I admit. “I didn’t get a douche yet.”
“I have one you could borrow.” He winces. “I mean, not borrow. You can have it. You can keep it here whenever you want it.”
I squint at him confused. “Why can’t we share douches? I mean, if my dick is going up your arse and yours is going up mine? Genuine question.”
“I mean, I guess we could if we had both been tested and you were comfortable with it.”
“Ah, yes, tested,” I say and I feel like both mine and Giles’ bravery has paid off enough today, why not try and continue that trend. “Have you… were you tested recently?”
“Er, not recently but yes, after my last… sexual partner. Before you. I go fairly regularly. Or I did when I was, more active.”
“So your results were negative?”
“Yeah.”
“I got tested last week. And I got a prescription for PrEP.”
Giles’ jaw drops. “You did?”
“Yeah, I haven’t started taking it. I guess if you’ve had the all clear and we’re monogamous then there’s no need.”
“No, I guess not.” Giles’ eyes glaze over but it’s not a fog like I’ve seen before. More a syrupy sheen.
“So, shall I go get ready?”
He doesn’t reply. Instead he dives into my neck and tickles the skin there with his lips, teeth and moustache. “I can’t believe you want to be my boyfriend.”
“I can’t believe you want to be mine.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more,” he replies before our mouths find each other again.
*****
Thirty minutes later and I can confirm that douching is one of the most boring activities I have ever undertaken.
It’s a true test of my medicine to stay focused on the task in hand and I can’t honestly say the reward of seeing the water run clean is even worth it.
But maybe getting fucked by Giles will be.
That gives me a bounce in my step as I walk back to Giles’ bedroom in my boxers and with my other clothes bundled in my hands.
“I’m sorry that took so long,” I say when I see him stretched out on his bed, his waistcoat and socks off.
His feet are crossed and I suddenly want to put his big toe in my mouth which is something I have never wanted to do to anybody, ever.
But then my attention is quickly pulled to the fact that the three top buttons of his shirt are undone and I itch to slide my hand into the V-shaped gap they make.
It’s only been a day since I’ve touched his smooth skin but I’ve missed it.
“I’ve been waiting for this, for you for a long, long time. Half an hour is nothing.”
I give him a one-shoulder shrug. “But we said it ourselves. We’ve only been hanging out for a month.”
He shakes his head and gives me a meaningful look. “No, Marcello, I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. I’ve never felt about anybody the way I feel about you.”
And that doesn’t only stop words from leaving my lips, it stops all thoughts in my mind too, which is nothing short of a miracle.
“Come here.” He holds out a hand, beckons for me.
I pause, wanting to hold onto this clarity of mind. Wanting to memorise the way he looks reaching out for me. Never wanting to break whatever spell this is that has me feeling like, when I take his hand and climb onto the bed next to him, I’m coming home.