Chapter 44
44
TIKTOK FAMOUS
Niamh
Niamh feels remarkably calm. It could be the increased HRT dose, or the anti-anxiety medication, but she is surprised that she does not feel like throwing up as she helps Jodie put some new finishing touches to her digs.
Yes, she may have gone overboard – insisting Becca take them for a quick run to Ikea to stock up on new bedding, lights, cushions and a rug – but she wanted to make Jodie’s room as cosy as possible.
By the time everything is unpacked, set up and the rubbish folded and put in the recycling, the room looks great and Jodie looks delighted with it.
Becca has left them to say their goodbyes and gone to wait in the car and Niamh is sitting beside her daughter on her bed, their backs against the wall, holding hands.
‘It’s nice, isn’t it?’ she says.
‘It really is. You didn’t have to do this, Mum. But I’m grateful that you did. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, and Dad too, of course.’ Niamh gives three little squeezes to her daughter’s hand – their secret code for ‘I love you’ that has survived since childhood.
‘Sure, you’re our daughter. We’d do anything for you,’ she says.
‘A new car and a holiday in Ibiza?’ Jodie asks hopefully.
‘Nice try.’ Niamh laughs as her daughter rests her head on her shoulder. ‘You know exactly what I mean, young lady! I need you to believe that. We are here for you. In whatever way you need, and there is still time for you to pull out of these exams and arrange to do them in the summer.’
‘I know, but I’ll be fine, Mum. I’ve no plans to go on the mad tear up here. I’m too tired and too nauseous, for a start. I’ll be taking it easy and any sign of anything untoward and I promise I will phone you.’
‘You bloody better!’ Niamh says. ‘Whether it’s three in the morning or the middle of the day. My phone will be on. I will be here for you.’
‘You’re the best mammy,’ Jodie says with a smile.
‘Sure, don’t I know it?’ Niamh laughs. ‘But you’ll be a great mum too. Not as good as me, of course,’ she says, happy to tease her daughter, ‘but good enough.’
‘That’s the goal,’ Jodie says and laughs. ‘But promise me, Mum, promise me you’ll look after yourself too? And keep the boys cleaning their own rooms?’
Niamh nods. ‘I fully intend to.’ She has a lot of things she wants to do, and top of the list is getting better.
She even considers getting her photo taken with Laura and Becca on Wednesday for Northern People part of her mission to get back on her feet properly.
She hadn’t been keen on the idea initially, but then she had given herself a good talking-to. If this article could help other women of her age feel less alone then she was happy to get 100 per cent behind it. Just as she was excited to look into more ways to get involved with helping women feel less lonely and more valuable. She’d spent the last two nights reading some of the papers and articles Laura had sent her about different cultures and how they celebrated their older women – as well as looking into some of the physical and chemical changes which take place during menopause.
She isn’t sure what it is she wants to do just yet, but she knows she wants to do something. She’ll take her time figuring it out. Just as she’ll take her time figuring out what she wants to do about teaching.
In the meantime, she has her yoga classes, which admittedly, she has actually enjoyed this week. More than ever before.
She’s even taken to practising some of her poses at home. Fiadh has delighted in trying to copy her mum, while Paul has offered to clear out the little-used garden room to make her a space of her own where she could do her yoga, practise her meditation or just escape the incessant shouting of Cal and Ethan. ‘Is there a female equivalent of a man-cave?’ he asked.
‘A witch’s lair,’ she’d replied dead-pan, aware they’d been cowed by Paul’s threat she would move out to her own witchy cottage.
‘Mum,’ Jodie says, cutting through Niamh’s thoughts.
‘Yes, love?’
‘You know you do actually have to leave at some stage? And poor Becca has been waiting for ages now.’
‘I know,’ Niamh says. ‘Just two more minutes and I promise I’ll leave.’
‘Okay,’ Jodie says, snuggling closer into her mother than before. ‘But if I have to call security to throw you out, I’m filming it and putting it on TikTok. Be warned!’