Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
‘But why? I thought things were getting better, with the money from the shop.’
My parents just looked at each other; they were sitting on the sofa like two naughty schoolchildren while I loomed over them. Immediately, I felt terrible and sat down on the footstool nearby.
Penn had tactfully dropped me off after checking I was okay, and I’d lied as best I could to make sure he didn’t feel any more obligation. He’d driven off, giving me an uncertain look, promising to talk the following morning when we opened up shop.
‘We’re sorry, pet,’ said Mam in a soothing tone that made me feel even worse.
‘No, I’m sorry,’ I said, sagging in my seat. ‘I shouldn’t be giving you a hard time. But what’s changed since I saw you last?’
‘Nothing’s changed,’ said Dad, his hand reaching for Mam’s. ‘It’s just… we’ve still struggled to make the books balance, even with the income from the shop. We know you’ve done everything you can, and we’re still blown away with how hard you’ve worked for us as a family. But… it’s just not enough.’
I looked around at the living room – the wallpaper that they put up when I was seventeen, the door frame that still had marks from where they’d measured me growing. Through the patio doors lay the garden where I’d done my first cartwheel and had water balloon fights with the neighbours’ kids. It couldn’t become someone else’s – it just couldn’t.
‘There has to be something else I can do. I’ll try harder to sell more. I’ll move back home – that’ll save my rent payments, and if I can just have a little bit for my phone and some odds and ends, then you can have the rest…’
Dad held up his hand. ‘Annie, that’s enough,’ he said gently. ‘You’ve done more for us than a child should ever have to do for their parents. I’m… I’m embarrassed that you’ve had to be involved at all.’
His lip quivered, and the sight of it was like a hand wrapped around my throat. My eyes prickled, and I didn’t dare speak; I knew my voice would crack, and I had to be strong.
‘We’re so grateful, sweetheart,’ said Mam. ‘And we’re so proud of you.’
Then that was it. The sadness and frustration rose up through my body like a tidal wave and I burst into tears. My mam kneeled beside me and rubbed my back as I cried, while Dad sat helplessly on the sofa, his injured leg holding him back once again.
Back in the shop the next day, I’d shed all the tears I was going to and was filled once again with a vicious determination to succeed. The previous night, when I got back to the flat, Neo had heard me crying through the wall and brought me a cup of tea and some Hobnobs, which made me momentarily have fewer regrets about choosing to be his lodger. But then, as he left, he scratched his armpit, sniffed it and rubbed his fingers on his already grubby T-shirt, and I was reassured that my goal to get out of this flat was still the right path to be on. I would sell and sell and sell until I came up with enough to get that house back off the market, and then I would sort my own life out.
Penn was already there when I arrived and, as promised, had hung a ‘ban hunting’ sign in his shop window. I grinned seeing it, reminded of the purpose of our weekend, and then the events that had followed after… But as soon as I made steps to go and kiss him, Olivia entered the shop, stopping me in my tracks. Penn gave me a slow, knowing smile and turned away to get his shop ready for the day. Seeing him again boosted both my mood and my loins; now that I knew what lay underneath that oversized band T-shirt, I could never unsee it or stop wanting it.
‘How was the convention?’ asked Olivia, bounding over. I’d asked her to come in for some half-days during the last week before Christmas. If we were going to be as busy as I hoped, two salespeople were better than one.
‘Oh. It was very enlightening. I learned a few new tricks, and I think I’ve come away with a fresh perspective on things.’
Penn’s back tensed, and he shook his head just a little. I could picture the smile on his face even if I couldn’t see it.
‘Amazing,’ said Olivia. ‘Well, things went brilliant here. I sold at least a dozen vibrators and almost all of the salad spinners. Oh, and the remote-controlled clitoral stimulators are all gone!’ Then she shot Penn a troubled look and lowered her voice. ‘Sorry. I know he gets moody if we talk too much about the sex stuff. Such a prude.’
I just smiled and remembered him between my legs as I lay on the kitchen table. ‘I know. A complete puritan.’
We spent the morning drumming up trade, Olivia serving customers while I redoubled my efforts with the shop’s online presence and researching marketing strategies. I needed to make Everything Must Go into a thriving concern, rather than just a short-term means to an end. In a bid for a last-minute surge of sales before Christmas, I advertised another party day with nibbles and wine. I never stood still, pacing back and forth, trying to come up with any possible way of making more money.
Christa came in at lunchtime and needled me about working through lunch. ‘You need a break!’ she insisted, pulling at my hand.
I smiled and pulled it back. ‘I can rest when I’m dead. I might make five more sales in this hour – you never know. So what did you get up to this weekend?’ I asked, changing the subject.
‘Oh, nothing. Just normal stuff. Bought some Christmas presents.’
For some reason, she’d gone a bit cagey.
I narrowed my eyes at her and smiled. ‘Is that all?’
‘Yep. Oh, and I got a new delivery of crystal jewellery just in time for Christmas.’
‘Brilliant. I’ll remember to send people along.’ I noticed some lovely new earrings hanging from her ears – they were a white pearly stone in a silver setting. ‘Those are nice. Are they from your new collection?’
She flicked one with her finger. ‘They are. Moonstone, the stone of new beginnings. I’m manifesting a better year to come.’
‘I know how you feel. Even though Liaison Secrète’s doing well, I’ve got to start next year with a bang. So, on that note, I need to make a lunchtime sale.’ I nodded towards a hesitant-looking lady who was now lingering by the till.
Olivia knocked off at 2 p.m., and I met Penn in the stock room. He kissed me like he hadn’t seen me for weeks, and after all that had happened with my mam and dad since yesterday, it felt like that to me too. I weaved my hands into his hair and let out a groan of relief.
‘You need to be meaner to me,’ he said, holding my face.
‘You’re ugly and you smell,’ I said.
‘Ha ha.’ His face broke into a wide grin, his eyes crinkling at the sides. ‘I mean when other people are around, if we’re going to avoid blowing our cover.’
‘I’ll try. I’m finding it hard to muster it though. Could you try and be more irritating? Start leaving ham sandwiches to rot under the tea towel again?’
‘If that gets you going, then yes, I’ll try.’
‘Don’t talk about getting me going,’ I said, feeling my body melt under his firm hands against my back. He ran his hands down further, and I pulled his head closer so he could kiss me. We carried on like that, casting furtive looks at the door every now and then. The shop was quiet, and for the first time that day, I was glad.
Before long, he’d hitched me up onto a pile of boxes, running his hands under my long skirt until it was bunched up around my waist. His thumb ran down the front of my pants, making me squirm in anticipation.
His eyes were burning with desire and mischief, and he broke away for a moment, rummaging in one of my Liaison Secrète boxes to find what he needed. I couldn’t even think about the loss in profit as he held me by the hip and made excellent use of it.
After what seemed like an eternity but was probably only ten minutes, we were still clinging together, his T-shirt ruched up above his chest, my bra undone. There then came a polite cough from outside, and we sprang apart, hastily putting ourselves right, buttoning, zipping and straightening. I held a finger to my lips and slipped through the door, closing it behind me. Arthur was standing by the cash desk, his cheeks a little pink.
‘Ah. Annie. There you are. Hope I’m not interrupting you.’
My face flamed. ‘Not at all! Absolutely not. I’ve been… sorting through some stock.’
‘I see. That explains the crashing around.’
‘Uh, yep. I dropped some of my “products”. Butterfingers!’
‘Just so.’ He coughed uncomfortably. ‘Now, I dropped over to tell you that our lovely neighbour, Melissa, has invited us all to a New Year’s Eve shindig in her shop. She asked me to spread the word. I’ll let her know if you can make it, shall I?’
‘Oh. Yeah, that sounds really good. Count me in.’
‘Marvellous. And how about our rock and roll friend? Do you think he’d like to come along?’
‘Um, I’ll ask him when I next see him. I’m not sure what he’s doing.’
Arthur glanced at the stock-room door, a little smile flickering across his lips.
‘Very good. I shall leave you to it then.’ He paused as he headed for the door and turned back. ‘Oh, and just so you know, your buttons are misaligned.’ He chuckled and left, shaking his head with amusement.
My face now almost purple, I looked down at my shirt buttons, which looked like a three-year-old had done them up. I went back through to the stock cupboard, where Penn was laughing to himself, and re-buttoned myself.
‘I don’t know what you’re laughing about,’ I scolded but laughing myself. ‘He knows you’re back here, leaving me to face the music.’
‘I’m sorry. Come on – let’s get back to work before we get disturbed by an actual customer.’
We went back outside, and I asked him about the New Year’s party.
‘I don’t think I’ll be able to,’ he said. ‘I’ll be at Ashcliffe for the Christmas week. Unfortunately.’
Unfortunately indeed, I thought, trying not to show it on my face. The prospect of not seeing him for a week was strangely disappointing considering just a few days ago I’d have been counting down the hours to be rid of him.
‘Will you be at home?’ he asked lightly.
‘Yeah. I will.’
‘How are things?’
I sighed, my shoulders bunching up. ‘Not great. They’re pushing on with the sale. My mam texted me this morning to tell me they’ve got a viewing tomorrow.’
‘Already?’
I nodded. ‘But not if I have anything to do with it. I just need to try harder.’
‘What if selling is what they want?’ he asked, his tone careful. ‘I mean, they can’t rely on you forever. And they shouldn’t have to really.’
My hackles rose instantly. ‘Of course they shouldn’t have to. I want to help them. It’s my home too, and I can tell you they don’t want to sell. Not at all.’
‘Okay, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wondered… what would happen to your life if you end up supporting them long term?’
‘It won’t be long term. Dad will get back to work when he’s better, and Mam… well, who knows. It depends on her health. But if I can just get them back on their feet, then I can concentrate on myself later.’
He bit his lip. ‘Okay. Fair enough.’ He said nothing for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘No. And if you mean financially then, A – you’re mad, and B – you haven’t the means. You told me you’re on a knife-edge too.’
‘I know. I just hate seeing you wringing yourself dry with the responsibility.’
‘And that’s so good of you,’ I said, wishing I dared give him a hug. ‘Really. We’ll be fine. If I can just bridge the gap until my dad can get back to work, then they won’t need to go through with the sale.’
‘You’re a good daughter, Annie,’ he said. ‘They must feel very lucky.’
Then a customer came in, and he turned his attention to selling some records.
The afternoon continued at a steady pace, a stream of sales when what I really needed was a deluge. Penn was busier than me and yet again turned down an offer on the Pink Floyd album, shaking his head derisively at the woman who’d asked. After that, he sat at his desk, drumming lightly on it with his fingers, seemingly lost in thought.
He was quiet for the rest of the afternoon, then, once it was closing time, we tidied up and turned off the lights. Penn still seemed a little distracted but pulled me out of sight of the window and kissed me.
‘Listen,’ I said. ‘I could do with a bit of fun tonight. Do you want to go and get a drink? We could go somewhere out of the way, so people don’t see us.’
‘I can’t,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a gig tonight. I can’t get out of it.’
‘Not to worry. It’s fine.’ I smiled brightly, hoping the dim light might hide my disappointment. Another night in with Neo it would have to be.
We headed for the door, but then I realised I’d forgotten my scarf.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ I said. ‘I’ll lock up. Good luck tonight.’
‘Thanks. See you tomorrow.’ He kissed me on the forehead and left.
I grabbed my scarf from the stock cupboard and followed shortly after, to find that he was lingering by Melissa’s door, phone to his ear. His back was to me, and he didn’t notice my footsteps.
‘Yeah. I’m free tonight. Where do you want to meet?’
I froze, pulling back quietly, my stomach turning over.
‘Okay. I’ll meet you at nine tonight at the Black Horse. Yep. See you there.’ He rang off and continued down the road away from me.
Why had he just said he was free tonight when he’d told me he had a gig? My heart started to pound. Taking out my phone, I hesitated before opening Instagram. I was being silly, not to mention a teeny bit paranoid – not a trait I could usually be accused of. I was easy-going, trusting and a good judge of character. So why was I tapping in the name of Penn’s band and scrolling to see the post with their gig dates on it?
I stopped at the square image with a list of dates and venues. There was no Black Horse on the page, and there was no gig that night.