23. Lila
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Lila
The cool night air felt like a slap in the face when I stepped outside, my heels clicking on the stone path that led to the garden behind the ballroom.
The soft hum of conversation and laughter still drifted from inside, but I needed a break.
A moment to breathe, to untangle the mess in my head.
The sky was clear now, stars scattered like glitter on black velvet. It was beautiful, but the cold bit at my exposed skin, making me shiver.
I pulled the wrap tighter around my shoulders, wishing I’d brought something heavier.
My nerves were still frayed from the dances.
Each of them had left an impression I couldn’t shake.
What the hell was I going to do?
I took a shaky step forward, feeling the uneven stones beneath my feet. My heel caught on something, maybe a crack or a loose edge, and before I could steady myself, I stumbled forward.
“Whoa, easy there.”
Strong hands caught me before I hit the ground, steadying me with an ease that only made my heart race faster. I didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
Jaxon.
His all-too-familiar scent wrapped around me like a safety net as I straightened, his hands still firm on my arms.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to laugh it off. “Guess I’m not as graceful as I thought.”
His lips quirked into that infuriatingly charming smile, the one that always made me feel like I was the only person in the world he cared to look at. “You looked pretty graceful on the dance floor. Must’ve used up all your luck there.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up. It felt good to laugh, especially with him, even if it was dangerous. “Yeah, well, maybe next time I’ll leave the heels at home.”
“Not a chance,” he said, his tone light but his gaze heavy. “You look too good in them.”
The air between us shifted, the teasing giving way to something deeper, something I wasn’t sure I was ready to face. I looked away, focusing on the stars instead of the intensity in his eyes.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” he asked, his hands finally dropping from my arms, though he didn’t step back.
“Needed some air,” I said honestly. “It’s a lot, you know? Being in there, pretending everything’s fine.”
Jaxon didn’t say anything for a moment, but when he spoke, his voice was softer. “You don’t have to pretend, Lila. Not with me.”
The words hit me hard. There was something about the way he said my name, like it was sacred, like it meant something more to him. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry.
“Thanks,” I said quietly, unsure of what else to say.
Jaxon studied me for a moment, his piercing blue eyes searching mine like he was trying to find something I wasn’t ready to give. Then, just as I thought he might say something else, he stepped back, his hands slipping into his pockets.
“I’ll see you inside,” he murmured, his voice low.
Before I could respond, he turned and walked away, his broad shoulders disappearing into the shadows along the path. I assumed he was heading back inside, but something about the way he moved made me wonder if he’d found his own escape route.
Either way, I was left standing there, the ache in my chest unfamiliar and unwelcome.
I let out a shaky breath, leaning back against the cool stone railing of the garden’s low wall.
The night was quieter now, the muffled sounds of the party inside seeming far away. I closed my eyes, trying to pull myself together, but the whirlwind of emotions wouldn’t settle.
“You’ve got that look again.”
I jumped slightly, my eyes snapping open to find Samantha standing a few feet away, a knowing smile on her face.
She had an espresso martini in her hand, and her emerald dress sparkled faintly in the moonlight. She looked like she lived for this night. Maybe the whole of Medford did.
“What look?” I asked, trying for casual, though my voice wavered just enough to give me away.
She stepped closer, leaning against the railing beside me and offering the cup. “The look of someone trying way too hard to convince themselves of something they don’t believe.”
“And what exactly am I not believing?”
Samantha arched a perfectly shaped brow, her expression all amusement and challenge. “Oh, come on, Lila. Don’t play coy with me. I saw you out there tonight.”
I groaned, tilting my head back to stare at the stars. “You’re going to have to be more specific. I danced with half the room.”
“You know what I mean.” Her tone was soft but pointed, like she wasn’t going to let me off the hook. “Jaxon. Colt. Ryan. It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on there.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “There’s nothing going on, Samantha.”
“Uh-huh.” She shot me a sideways glance, her lips curving into a knowing smile. “And that’s why Jaxon looked like he was ready to fight anyone who even thought about getting too close to you. Or why Colt practically undressed you with his eyes every time you so much as glanced in his direction. And Ryan? Please. The man couldn’t stop staring at you like you were the only person in the room.”
I felt my cheeks burn, the heat spreading down my neck despite the chill in the air. “You’re imagining things.”
“Am I?” Samantha asked, her voice light but her gaze sharp. She turned to face me fully, crossing her arms. “Because from where I was standing, it looked like you were enjoying every second of it.”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
Instead, I stared down at the cup in my hands, the cider swirling slightly with each small movement. The truth was, she wasn’t wrong.
I had enjoyed it—the attention, the way they looked at me, the way they made me feel seen in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. But admitting that out loud felt like crossing a line I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
If I admitted that, then I would also have to really think about what happened between us on the ski trip.
Samantha tilted her head, studying me for a moment before her expression softened. “Look, Lila, I’m not judging you. If anything, I’m jealous. Three gorgeous men practically tripping over themselves for you? That’s the kind of problem most women would kill to have.”
“It’s not like that,” I said quietly.
“No?” she asked, her tone gentle now. “Then what is it like?”
I hesitated, my throat tightening. “It’s... complicated.”
Samantha nodded slowly, as if she understood more than I was saying. “Complicated doesn’t mean bad, you know. It just means you’ve got to figure out what you want.”
I let out a shaky laugh, the sound more bitter than I intended. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? I don’t know what I want. Or... maybe I do, and it scares the hell out of me.”
Her gaze softened even further, and she reached out, placing a hand on my arm. “Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out. And when you do, don’t let fear stop you from going after it. Life’s too short for that.”
I looked at her, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I just nodded, grateful for her kindness even if I didn’t feel like I deserved it.
Before Samantha could say anything else, the sound of uneven footsteps and muttered curses cut through the quiet night. Both of us turned toward the source, and my heart sank as I recognized the figure swaying toward us.
Nate.
His tie was askew, his shirt untucked, and his face was flushed—not from the cold, but from the alcohol radiating off him in waves. He stopped a few feet away, blinking like he was struggling to focus on us.
“Nate?” I asked cautiously, taking a step forward.
The way he was standing, shoulders slumped and jaw tight, made my stomach churn.
“Lila,” he slurred, drawing out my name like it left a bitter taste in his mouth. His bloodshot eyes flicked to Samantha, and he let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Oh, look, you’ve got an audience.”
“Nate, you’re drunk,” Samantha said gently, her earlier playfulness gone as she straightened. “Maybe you should head back inside… get some water.”
He waved her off, his movements unsteady but forceful. “I’m not talking to you. This is between me and my sister.”
Samantha hesitated, glancing at me. “Do you want me to…?”
“I’ll handle it,” I said quickly, though my voice was trembling.
She gave me a concerned look before nodding and stepping back toward the ballroom.
“I’ll be inside if you need me,” she said softly, giving Nate one last wary glance before disappearing through the door.
Now it was just the two of us. The cold seemed sharper without her, biting at my skin as I faced my brother.
“What’s going on, Nate?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. “Why are you out here?”
He let out a bitter laugh, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Why am I out here? That’s rich coming from you. Shouldn’t you be inside, batting your eyes at Jaxon? Or Colt? Or Ryan?”
His voice dripped with sarcasm, each name landing like a punch.
I flinched, the venom in his tone taking me off guard. “Nate, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t play dumb, Lila,” he snapped, his words harsh and slurred. “I’ve seen the way you look at them… the way they look at you. Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me? My little sister, throwing herself at my friends.”
His words hit like a slap, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks in a mix of anger and humiliation. “That’s not what’s happening, and you know it.”
“Oh, really?” He took a stumbling step closer, his voice rising. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re enjoying the attention—dancing with all of them, letting them fight over you like some… some prize.”
“Stop it,” I said sharply, my own voice shaking now. “You’re drunk, Nate. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying,” he spat, his face twisted with anger. “You’re making a fool of yourself. And me.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
“That’s not fair,” I whispered. “You don’t get to judge me for?—”
“For what?” he cut in, his voice dripping with scorn. “For acting like some… some flirt? Like you can’t pick one and stick with it?”
The words hung in the air, sharp and cutting, and for a moment, all I could do was stare at him, my chest tight with hurt and fury.
“You don’t know anything about what’s going on,” I said finally. “You don’t know what I’ve been through, what I’m feeling. You have no right?—”
“I’m your brother,” he said, his tone biting. “I have every right. And if you think I’m going to stand by and watch you make a fool of yourself…”
Oh shit.
This was bad.
Really bad.
I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.