15. Birdie
Birdie
Everything blurred together from the minute Beau set me down on the bed in the small emergency room.
I was in a private space that wasn’t actually all that private.
Curtains did little to muffle the sounds of patients in pain.
There was a woman who’d been in a fender bender, crying in the cubicle next to mine.
And an elderly man who’d fallen on the other side of me.
I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable.
So I bit my lip and held on to Beau’s hand so tightly I was afraid I might break his fingers as doctors poked at my injuries.
Ask anyone in the medical field—we absolutely made the worst patients. And as much as I was trying to be good, I wanted to go home. No. Not my house. To the ranch. The bed I was stuck in was hard and cold. I wanted the warmth of Beau’s bed. The both of us together with Juniper between us.
This was torture. I needed normalcy.
“Let’s…go home,” I whispered, trying not to let my voice wobble. But of course it did. Beau lifted my hand, kissing against the punishing grip I still held onto him with. “Juniper needs us.”
“I know you don’t want to be here. Hell, I want to get you home, too. But we need to make sure you’re not hurt worse than you think. I’m so sorry, Birdie. This is my—”
“Sir, I need you to step out of the cubicle while I speak to Ms. Calloway.”
Beau’s free hand tensed on my thigh as the nurse stepped back inside the small space.
His face fell, but I was grateful for the interruption.
Because I knew exactly what he was going to say.
That my attack was his fault. That he should have been there to protect me.
And I couldn’t bear the weight of that misplaced guilt.
“No, please.” My throat burned with each word. Beau had been speaking for me, telling them all my injuries. Talking them through how he found me. I could still feel that man’s fingers around my neck. The way he’d squeezed—
Beau stood up, pressing a kiss to my head. “Just breathe, Chickadee. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”
I nodded, the panic slipping away. Beau was safety. He was the only thing keeping me from being back there, because my mind kept trying to pull me back into the panic. But as long as I could feel Beau’s touch, I knew I was safe. I was protected.
“Please. I’m safe with him…”
“Alright, honey. There are some sensitive questions I need to ask you, but as long as you are okay with your friend being in here—and he stays calm while we walk through this—he can stay.”
“My boyfriend,” I corrected, and the nurse nodded, a small smile tipping the corner of her mouth.
“The doctor will be in soon to show you how to use the braces for your wrist and your ankle sprains. They’ll go over care instructions and what to look for after you’re discharged, but before they come in here, I need to ask about some of the other injuries.”
I nodded, knowing what was coming. Honestly, I’d expected it to come earlier. Before the X-rays and the examination by the ENT. My skin went cold, clammy sweat clinging to my body.
“Are there any injuries that aren’t visible right now?”
My eyes were burning, enough that I tried to blink a few times to find some relief. But none came. And none would until I was somewhere that I could fall apart without people watching me do it. “He didn’t…I wasn’t…”
I couldn’t get the words out. I looked at Beau, who sat with his brows furrowed and his eyes wide.
“Do you suspect she has internal injuries? Like what? Bleeding? Shouldn’t you be taking her for a CT scan or something to see inside!?”
“That’s not…” I calmly replied, my eyes going back to the nurse. “I wasn’t sexually assaulted.”
Beau released what sounded like all the air in his lungs, his hand coming up to wipe at his face.
“I’m sorry, I needed to ask. The orthopedic doctor on call today is male. If that makes you uncomfortable—”
I shook my head just a tiny bit as I closed my eyes. “It’s fine. Please. I want to go home.”
“Let’s go ahead and administer some of the good pain medication for you. You’ll need it while they get those sprains supported correctly. Then we can talk about getting you out of here.”
I sat silently as the nurse brought me in two pills to swallow.
There was some part of my brain that said I couldn’t take them.
Not with being on the schedule for tonight.
But that didn’t really matter. I wouldn’t be able to go back to work for a few days, maybe more, depending on what the doctor said for my wrist sprain.
So I took the pills and tried not to feel guilty as the worry and pain melted away.
“Birdie, please look at me.” Beau’s voice was deep, cracking over my name as he spoke it. “Please.”
If I thought I was broken before, that felt like nothing compared to seeing him sitting beside me, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Why are you crying?” I whispered.
“I didn’t even think…You were telling her the truth, weren’t you? He didn’t do that…He didn’t…”
I shook my head, reaching out to brush away the tear that had almost made it to his lips. “I told the truth.”
“Because either way,” Beau captured my hand and pressed his lips to my palm. “I’m killing him. I’m going to hunt this fucker down and kill him for hurting my girl.”
I stared at him, my mouth going dry at his words. “Beau…”
“You are. Mine to cherish, and love, and protect. I swear to you, I know I failed this time, but I will keep you safe. And I will make him pay.”
“Cowboy…”
“Stop trying to talk, and rest your voice. Are the meds making you feel better? How’s the pain?”
I slipped my left hand out of his hold, giving him a thumbs-up. I was actually starting to feel pretty relaxed. My eyes drifted closed as I took his advice, resting my head back on the flat pillow.
“Okay, easy. Don’t even try to get out of this truck on your own. I’m carrying you up into the house, and I won’t hear otherwise.”
Beau’s command would have normally made me laugh, and then I would have done whatever the hell I wanted because I hated when he tried to boss me around.
But my body hurt. I was exhausted and on painkillers that made it hard to think, and yet also made me very willing to say whatever was on my mind. I needed to keep my mouth shut and sleep them off.
“Here we go,” he announced as he opened the passenger side door and scooped me out like I was nothing more than a rag doll. My body rocked as we made our way up the front porch steps and into the house.
I couldn’t stop myself from reaching up to touch his face. He hadn’t been shaving, which made my stomach swoop.
“Don’t shave. You look so handsome like this…”
His arms tightened around me. “Didn’t know you liked it so much, Chickadee. I would’a stopped shaving years ago.”
He would have done that just for me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I was blushing, but honestly, my face was pretty numb and I was in an eternal state of feeling really sleepy.
I’d gotten the all clear from neurology—no concussion.
But my body was starting to hate me for keeping it awake for so long.
Still, I tried to store away the memory of Beau saying that to enjoy later, when I wasn’t so loopy.
“Oh my God,” Dolly’s voice washed over me.
I was on the couch in the next breath, wrapped in the most protective maternal hug.
It was exactly what I needed. Somewhere in the back of my foggy mind, I knew I was crying.
Maybe it was the way Dolly held me, how her hand gently stroked my head.
It was still sore from where the man had pulled my hair so violently, but it didn’t matter. I needed that love poured into me.
I could hear Daniel and Beau talking over my shoulder, but couldn’t make out anything more than the low gravel of their hushed voices.
“You’re going to be just fine, sweetheart.
As soon as Beau told me what happened, I came right over.
There are fresh sheets on the bed, and I put the comforter out in the sunshine for a little bit.
Violet brought over a heating pad and Hayes dropped off some ice packs.
He uses those cold caps for his headaches, and I thought that might be nice if you had one, too. ”
“Dolly…”
“Hush. It’s nothing. I had just enough time to make a batch of my chicken dumpling soup for you to have when you feel up to eating.”
“T-thank you,” I managed to sniffle out my appreciation before more tears came. “I’m o-okay. I don’t know w-why I’m crying.”
“Yes, you do, honey. It’s normal. Just let it come when it comes, and don’t try to stifle it. We’ll get you to the other side of this in one piece, I promise.”
I finally lifted my head off her shoulder, wiping at my eyes. If my head was feeling foggy before, it felt downright stuffed with cotton now that I’d cried.
“Where’s Juniper?” I asked Beau as he sat on the arm of the sofa next to me.
His fingers swept some of my hair back behind my ear, looking at me with such gentleness that I fought the urge to stand and show him I was okay, just to make him feel better. “I told you, she’s fine. Jessie is keeping her overnight.”
Never mind. I was going to stand up. And I did. Although, it felt more like a baby deer attempting to walk for the first time than a woman who was about to scold someone. No matter what, I wasn’t about to force him to stay away from his daughter. I wouldn’t be the reason they weren’t together.
“What are you doing?” he asked, catching me around my wobbling waist and pulling me in tight against him before sweeping me up into his arms.
“Let me go! Tell Jess to bring her back here!”
“I need to get Birdie up to bed,” he said to his parents. “Thank you for being here when we got back.”
I tried to protest, but Dolly laid her hand on my arm, and I knew it was a battle I wasn’t going to win.
“You call us if you need anything. Or your brothers and sister, Beau. One of us will be here, no matter what.” Dolly smiled like I wasn’t actively trying to barrel roll out of her son’s arms.
“Thanks, Ma.”
Dolly nodded, Danny tipping his cowboy hat down at us before his hand landed at the small of her back and they walked into the kitchen.
I heard the back door clicking shut as Beau started up the stairs, his tight hold of me not losing an ounce of its protective edge as we made our way toward the bedroom.
“Beau, you have to get Juniper. It’s not fair—”
“I’m not leaving you,” he growled. “Not for one fucking second. She’s fine with my sister today, and she’ll get to have her first cousin sleep over tonight. She’ll be okay. This way I can keep my eye on you without any distractions.”
“She’s your daughter…” I groaned.
“And you're my…” He set me on his bed, turning towards the bathroom.
“What?”
“My whole world,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my hair. Or maybe he didn’t. Everything felt warm and blurry, and I think maybe a little dizzy?
“You’re feeling dizzy?” Beau’s voice startled me, and my eyes popped open. He was holding a washcloth in his hand.
“You’re a magician. Don’t pop up and scare me like that…” I whined as I closed my eyes again. The bed dipped and the cool washcloth gently swiped across my forehead.
“I was talking to you the entire time I walked back in here, just so you know.”
“Grumpy cowboy. That feels nice…thank you.”
“Yeah, Chickadee. I am grumpy. But that’s okay. Cause I happen to know someone who is pure sunshine, and she seems to balance me right out.”
My eyes might have been closed, but I knew I still managed to scowl at him. “She sounds nice. I hate her.”
“Why?” he chuckled.
“You’re my grumpy cowboy.”
“Yeah, sweetheart. I am. Let me be grumpy while we get you out of these clothes. Think you want to try and go to sleep now?”
“Mhm.”
“Okay, give me one second.” I forced my eyes back open, watching as he walked over to the small closet, yanking a zip-up hoodie off the hanger. “Here, I’m going to try to be as gentle as I can. I don’t want to bang up your wrist more than it already is.”
“It’s fine.”
“I really want you to stop saying that, Birdie.” Beau pulled my top off over my head, slipping the hoodie over my now exposed skin.
“Mm. You gonna climb in this bed and make me?”
“If by make you, you mean hold you while you go to sleep, then yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” His fingers danced along my stomach. “What should we do about these pants?”
“Take them off please.”
“Need shorts to sleep in? Or sweatpants?”
“I have undies on, don’t I?”
“Birdie…” The way he groaned made me smile. “Yeah, baby. You have panties on.”
“Good. Take my pants off. Now. Then sleep, please. With cuddles,” I mumbled, sinking down into the bed so he could pull my pants off without struggling. The comforter somehow magically moved over me, like a cloud. That was nice.
And then he was beside me. I rolled into Beau’s side, but his arms didn’t move to hold me closer.
“Hold me,” I begged.
“Is this okay?” he asked, his touch like a feather dancing around me. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’d never hurt me. My cowboy always makes me feel safe,” I admitted. “I need a hug. Please?”
His arms finally tightened around me and my mind faded…
“I’m so fucking sorry he hurt you.” Beau’s anguish-filled words swirled in my mind as I finally gave in to sleep.