Chapter 7 Jordy
JORDY
NO.
I STARED at the reply from Kieran on my phone, narrowing my eyes.
I really hated that word, especially when it was being given as a direct response to a request I’d made.
Because I could feel my lips morphing into a pout, I set it screen side down onto the floor and told myself I’d deal with him later.
He was totally and completely ruining all of my plans.
He’d derailed my seduction attempt by being a total creep and jerking off in the hallway instead of coming in and fucking me.
How unsubtle could I possibly be? Did I need to ambush him while he was taking a shower or something?
Actually, that probably wasn’t the worst idea…
“Oh my god, I just remembered something,” Dani piped up, glancing up from her fingers, where she’d just painted her thumbnail a grungy brown with frosty sparkles. “But do you like this color on me?”
I pursed my lips, tilting my head so I could watch the light hit it at different angles. “Yeah. It’s kind of ‘90s.”
“Cute. I love retro,” she said, dipping the brush back in the bottle to do the rest of her nails.
We were lounging in my room, something we’d done billions of times before. There was a daytime talk show on the TV, one of those really cheesy ones with paternity tests and cheaters confessing to their spouses. They were over the top, but we kind of loved the melodrama.
“So what did you remember?” I asked, shifting a bit to lean back against the side of my mattress more comfortably.
“So you know Andrew, from the center?”
I grimaced, but she didn’t notice because she was looking at the TV.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Did you know he was at Kevin’s party the other night? You know, the one you abandoned me at?” She added, giving me a pointed look.
“Um, yeah. I knew that.” I’d been so preoccupied with Kieran that I’d forgotten to mention the whole Andrew being a creep thing to her.
Then again, if I mentioned that I’d probably have to add in how Kieran had charged in like a possessive, pissed off bull.
And I was pretty sure that part of the story would have been significantly more noteworthy to her.
“And by the way, you wouldn’t have even noticed I was gone if I hadn’t texted you. ”
“Well, anyway,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. She'd only been teasing me, anyway. “He was complaining about some other alpha, like… I don’t know, he called it poaching on his territory and cockblocking him or something. It was crazy, I’ve never heard him talk like that before.”
“Oh.” I was pretty much a hundred percent sure that the cockblocking in question was related to me. “Actually, that doesn’t surprise me that much. I have gotten kind of, um… Creepy vibes from him at times.”
“Really?” She asked, sounding surprised. “You never said anything.”
“There wasn’t much to tell,” I admitted. “Just a weird feeling.”
“Anyway,” she started again. “The reason I meant to mention it to you is because once he started describing that other alpha, I was pretty sure he was talking about Kieran! Did he say anything to you about getting into a fight with Andrew?”
Clearing my throat, I glanced up at the ceiling. “Well, no, it wasn’t exactly like that.”
“You were there?” She asked, then her brown eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Wait, were you the omega he was trying to get with!?”
“I think so,” I said, trying not to snort as her mouth dropped open in a comical expression of shock. “He’s been sort of flirting with me sometimes at the center and then at the party he was getting pretty handsy.”
“What the fuck, Jordy? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know, it’s kind of embarrassing and gross. I didn’t even want to think about it, let alone talk about it.”
“So you’re not into him like that?” She determined.
“Definitely not,” I said, giving an exaggerated shudder. I was trying to keep the mood light, but if I was being honest, Andrew gave me a vulnerable feeling I wasn’t used to and I really didn’t like it.
“Wait, wait,” she said suddenly, shaking her head. “So Kieran got in a fight with Andrew over you?”
“Um… They didn’t actually fight or anything. They just kind of growled and snapped at each other and then Kieran took me home.”
“And did you make googly eyes at Kieran on the way home for rescuing you?”
“What!? No,” I lied, feeling a blush rising to my cheeks. “What are you even talking about?”
“Come on. You’ve had a crush on him since we were kids.”
“Yeah, but… I mean… It’s not like he likes me back or anything.” I wasn’t exactly even sure about that part anymore. “I mean… Probably.”
“If he doesn’t like you back, then why would he care about some other alpha hitting on you? And for that matter, why would he always check out your butt when you aren’t looking?” She asked, giving me a comically pointed expression, like she was demanding me to give her a serious answer.
“Shut up,” I hissed, covering my face. She’d brought it up before, that she’d caught Kieran staring at me when I wasn’t looking, but I hadn’t exactly believed her.
Now, her claims were starting to sound a whole lot more plausible.
“If my parents hear you, they’re going to send me away to boarding school or something. ”
“We’re not even in school anymore, Jordy.”
“You know what I mean,” I insisted. “They would completely freak out.”
“Okay, sorry.”
“So… I kind of need to tell you something that I haven’t told you yet.”
“More!?” She gasped, yanking my hands away from my face so I had no choice but to look at her and made a show of shaking me by the shoulders in an exaggerated gesture. “Please tell me something sexy happened.”
Somewhat sheepishly, I recounted the night Kieran had come home drunk.
I was honest about basically everything, even the graphic parts, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him calling me angel.
It felt too intimate, for reasons I couldn’t exactly articulate in my head.
But it felt like kind of a betrayal to him to blab about it to other people.
Like he’d shared this private thing that was only meant for me to know.
“Wait. He actually touched it?” She interrupted me to clarify, jerking her chin down toward my crotch.
“It was more than a touch.”
“Oh my god. Did you, like, finish?”
I coughed into my hand a little bit. “Uh, yeah.”
“You’re so bad!”
“I know,” I acknowledged. “He doesn’t even remember.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Eventually. I feel like if I tell him now, he’s going to be all weird. I have to ease him into it.”
“So are you going to tell him you like him? Since he pretty much made it totally obvious that he’s into you like that, too? Wait, are you guys going to be boyfriends?” She practically squealed out the word, and I had to suppress a wince. “We can totally double date!”
“Yeah, it’s not exactly that simple with him. He’s really…” I stopped, hesitant. “I think… he likes me, but he doesn’t actually want to be with me.” Until I’d spoken the words out loud, I hadn’t realized how hurtful it was that he was rejecting me.
“Aw, Jordy…” Instantly recognizing my mood plummeting, she scooted over beside me, putting an arm around my shoulder. “He’ll get over it. He’s probably just being weird because of, you know, the whole stepbrother thing. It’s totally not because of you.”
“Really?” I wasn’t usually so insecure, but it was kind of hard not to be when I’d pretty much thrown myself at the guy and now he wouldn’t even talk to me through a text message.
“Oh my god, absolutely. You know you’re cute and smart and tons of guys at our school were totally into you. And Kieran is so obsessed. It’s obvious.”
“I don’t know,” I answered glumly.
“Maybe you should just talk to him. Be straight with him and tell him how you feel.”
I opened up my phone to our texts and held it up to her face so she could say how he’d blatantly rejected my request.
“Ooh, he really knows how to piss you off, huh?”
“Well, he can’t avoid me forever,” I reasoned. “We live in the same house.”
“Maybe you should just wait in his bed for when he gets home,” she suggested. “I bet he’d talk to you then.”
Considering he’d already managed to derail an even more extreme seduction attempt than that, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be enough, but I didn’t go into details about that part. We were close, but TMI was TMI.
“Yeah, I’m sure that would go over well.” I inhaled deeply, letting out a long sigh. “It’s fine, let me try to talk to him and then if that doesn’t work, I can strategize from there.”
Dani sighed, popping a piece of chocolate candy into her mouth.
We had two bowls on the floor between us, snacks for her and snacks for me.
She could eat anything, but it was better for me to stick with lower sugar and lower carb options.
I didn’t mind it so much anymore, but the worst thing was when I’d been a kid at other kids’ birthday parties.
After the diagnosis, my days of pigging out on cake and ice cream were over.
“Sounds good,” she said, picking up her phone. After scrolling on it for a minute, she let out an exclamation. “Oh my gosh! I just got the approval email about our applications for the coed dorm! We’re approved!”
“So we’re officially roomies?”
“Yes!” She sprang up from the floor, pumping her arm in the air, her jet black strands of hair bouncing everywhere and her cherry earrings clacking madly with the movement. “Our room is going to be so aesthetic.”
“Totally,” I agreed, somewhat relieved for the subject change. Not just because I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, but I needed a break from thinking about it. “We should make a list of the stuff we want to buy.”
“Way ahead of you,” she said, sinking back down next to me and opening up a list she’d apparently already started.
Settling in next to her, we sat shoulder to shoulder, clicking through links and voting on which decor pieces would suit our room better. For the time being, I forgot about Kieran and his rude text.
THAT NIGHT, AFTER Dani left, I ate dinner with my parents and then helped clean up after.
Dani and I had told them the good news, and I knew my dad especially was thrilled that I’d be rooming with someone he trusted.
I thought about the couple of times I’d been sort of pseudo-dating a guy, mostly just texting and going out here and there throughout high school, and he hadn’t been too keen on that.
I’d gotten plenty of lectures from him about how alphas could be dangerous and could lack self control, especially when they were young.
He’d read a bunch of alpha horror stories online after I hit my second puberty, and they’d ended up making him pretty paranoid.
It seemed like the only alpha he really trusted around me for any extended period of time was Kieran.
Maybe if Kieran and I ever got serious, that would be the angle I would use to get my dad to warm up to the idea.
Kieran was always taking care of me, even in dumb little ways like letting me pick the movie for movie night and always giving me the last slice of pizza if I wanted it.
Plus, he knew all about my diabetes and the emergency protocols about my health and everything.
If anyone was going to be able to keep me alive in the worst case scenario, it would be him.
Then once I realized I was fantasizing about being in such a serious relationship with my stepbrother that we were actually telling our parents, I scoffed. I couldn’t even get the idiot to talk to me.
Well, we were going to talk about it whether he liked it or not.
When his truck pulled up in the drive, I subtly glanced back into the kitchen where my parents were doing a jigsaw puzzle together. It was a toucan in the rainforest. Tons of dark green pieces. They wouldn’t notice what I was doing or where I was.
Tugging my sneakers on, I slipped out the door, closing it softly behind me.
Walking directly into the flood of light beaming from the headlights of the truck, I made sure Kieran saw me coming toward him.
I made my way over to the driver’s side door and waited there patiently, blinking my eyelashes at him as he cautiously stared at me through the window.
When the rumble of the truck tapered down into silence, I tilted my head.
“I can stand out here all night, you know.”
I heard his long, deep sigh before the door opened and he stepped out, giving me a wry look, like I was the last person in the world he wanted to see. I wasn’t used to anyone looking at me that way, especially him. I felt this odd twinge, which I was pretty sure was my feelings being hurt.
In that moment, all of the uncertainty of the situation felt like it was crashing down around me, filling me with nerves and dread and insecurity.
I felt like the most annoying, undesirable person in existence.
Like no one could ever want me, least of all someone like Kieran.
I’d never experienced such a deeply embedded, primal sort of emotion.
It was like his rejection had activated some dormant organ inside me that only knew how to hurt.
I winced, hissing from the sudden pain.
“Hey,” he said sharply, moving toward me so fast that I couldn’t have any kind of reaction. “Are you okay?”
The moment his hand touched my upper arm, the pain disappeared without a trace, but it was a little late. My eyes had already welled up with tears from the sudden sting.
“I-I’m fine,” I lied, pulling away a little, even though the warmth of his fingers bleeding through the sleeve of my t-shirt made me feel a million times better. “I think I got an eyelash in my eye or something.”
“Here, let me see,” he ordered, cupping his hand under my chin to tilt my face up.
The feeling of his calloused fingertips on my smooth cheek was so intense I could feel myself getting hard.
Not necessarily the best mindset to be in for a conversation I wanted to have leverage in. “Jesus, Jordy, your eyes are red.”
“Well, it hurt,” I answered defensively.
His thumb moved up to flick through a wet smudge just under my lower lashes, and it was suddenly like I couldn’t even remember what pain felt like, like all I knew was euphoria.
What the hell was happening in my body? I’d lived in it for 18 years, but now it was doing unfamiliar things and reacting in unfamiliar ways.
My lower lip quivered, just for a second, but his eyes were drawn to the movement. I drew in a breath, suddenly tense. His fingers tightened on my face, like he felt it too, then immediately loosened as he pulled back.
“Kieran.” His name came out in a whine, but I couldn’t help it. And anyway, I’d never been above whining and pouting to get what I want. “Can you please just talk to me?”
The silence stretched out like an ocean between us as I found myself, once again, waiting for his answer.