Chapter 19 Jordy #2
“No,” Kieran responded neutrally. I felt my muscles tense as I wondered what was going through his head.
I doubted my rude uncle’s opinion held much weight to him, but I knew the whole college degree thing was something he felt insecure about, especially when it came to his position in our relationship. “I work full time.”
“Guess you don’t need a degree for that whole tattoo thing.”
“No,” Kieran acknowledged sarcastically. “They pretty much let any riffraff off the street wander in and pick up a machine.”
My uncle laughed, but in a way that made it clear he was laughing at Kieran, not with him. “Well, you said it, not me.”
“Actually,” I piped up. “Kieran’s been working really hard and getting tons of new clients.”
“Someone paid him to travel up to Oldport last weekend, to do a tattoo on them,” my dad contributed from his sentinel spot in front of the grill. “And it was a pretty penny, too.”
“More people to draw pretty pictures on,” he responded. That dismissive tone made me feel like my blood was itching in my veins.
“Steven,” my aunt said his name with a sort of warning tinge to it, like she was tired of arguments caused by his attitude. I didn’t blame her, but I couldn’t imagine being married to someone so annoying.
“I’m just saying,” he pointed out, raising his hands in a mock innocent gesture. “I wouldn’t want my kid wasting his life like that. And I sure wouldn’t let anyone mooch off me in my house while they do it.”
His kids, my slightly older cousins, were both scrolling on their phones with bored expressions, apparently with nothing to add.
“Nobody’s mooching off anyone,” my dad corrected him. “We’re happy to help the boys however we can. You can raise your kids your way, and we’ll raise ours how we want.”
My dad wasn’t the confrontational type, so even saying that was a lot for him. And it seemed like my uncle got the message, at least for a little bit, while the subject changed to current events.
While everyone else was distracted talking, I nudged Kieran’s elbow with my elbow on the table to get his attention.
He glanced over at me, and I tried to illustrate all my feelings about the conversation to him with just my eyes.
How fucking annoyed I was, how worthless and stupid my uncle’s opinion was, and how amazing I thought Kieran was for pursuing his dream and working so hard.
It was a lot to expect from one instance of eye contact, but I did my best. His expression was frustratingly unreadable, but he gave the top of my hand the lightest, almost intangible moment of contact.
“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” I answered back in the same low tone. “It’s bullshit.”
“Just forget it,” he said. “It’s not worth getting upset over.”
He was wrong about that, but I didn’t argue further. I knew he just didn’t want me feeling bad on his behalf, although that part was completely unavoidable.
Eventually, to my dismay, the conversation somehow circled back to me and my impending college semester. When my uncle asked if I was still majoring in political science, I confirmed that I was.
“That’s a good field to be in. You can make a lot of money going into law,” he added.
“I’m not going into law,” I responded shortly. “I’m going into nonprofit and advocacy.”
“Well, you might change your mind once you grow up a little bit,” he said. “Helping people sounds good until you get out into the world and get that hard dose of reality.”
I sat down my glass of tea with a hard snap, rattling the table with the pressure. “Or maybe money isn’t the most important thing in the world. Maybe being a good person is more important.”
Everyone’s eyes seemed to widen and lock onto me, but I didn’t care. I’d held my tongue long enough.
“And furthermore, your vision of success being solely defined by a paycheck shows what a pedantic, narrow minded person you are. You’d never have the balls to take a risk and follow your dreams like Kieran does.
Because you could never have the talent and passion that he has, so you’re stuck in some miserable marketing job on the basis of money. ”
It only took me about halfway through my mini-rant to realize I’d probably gone a little too far, but in my defense all that had been building up for a few years.
I didn’t know what else to say, and because it took so long for anyone else to say anything, my cheeks started to burn.
I couldn’t bear to look over at Kieran, even though I could feel his eyes boring into my side.
My uncle looked the most shocked by my outburst, and finally, he was the one to say something. “Are you going to let your son talk to his elders like that?” He asked the question directed at my dad.
“Well, uh… He’s allowed to have an opinion. You’ve certainly made yours clear, too,” he said thoughtfully.
“Let’s not talk about finances at the table,” my aunt suggested. “We all have our own opinions, and that’s fine.”
When it became clear that no one was going to leap to his defense, he gave a haughty sniff and took a seat next to his family. “Well, it takes all kinds, I guess.”
After another short stint of awkward silence, Kieran cleared his throat and stood up from the table. “I have to go get ready for my job,” he said, curling his fingers into air quotes around the last word, before hurrying off and back into the house.
Heaving a giant sigh, I whipped out my phone and sent a text to Dani to ask what she was doing, and if she wanted to hang out. When she sent me a nearly instant text back saying she would come pick me up if I wanted, I stood up as well.
“Can I, like, leave?” I asked, directing my question to my dad.
“Dani’s going to come pick me up.” I didn’t need to add the obvious part being that I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I felt a little bad that my dad’s idea for a peaceful family gathering was kind of ruined, but it would probably be less awkward for everyone if I wasn’t here anyway.
“Don’t stay out too late,” he responded, to my relief.
Rushing in the back door, I glanced out of the front window in the living room to make sure Kieran’s truck was still in the drive, before bounding up the stairs to make sure he wasn’t too pissed off.