Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
ELLIE
It’s been seven days since the incident at the rodeo, and I’m so fucking bored.
Whoever said free time is amazing was a liar.
Free time sucks.
I want to be riding Ranger, going on my morning jogs, visiting Magnolia at her coffee trailer, and traveling to my next race.
But the doctor’s discharge orders were bedrest for a week and then I could gradually add in more activity. But since I haven’t been cleared to drive, I pace around the house, sleep, or listen to nineties sitcoms with Aunt Phoebe.
Explaining to her what happened hasn’t been easy. Even though I look fine physically, minus the gash on my head, she doesn’t understand the concept of me losing my memory or that she’s not allowed to tell me anything.
Which also sucks for me because I can’t remember what happened to her or why she lives with us. All my mom will tell me is that there was a traumatic event years ago that caused her to come live with us. Even when I dug for more answers, she was determined to stick to Dr. Murray’s orders.
Between having nothing to do and not being allowed to do anything fun, I’ve Googled everything possible on concussions and seizures affecting your memory.
Some articles talk about how concussions can cause both short-term and long-term memory impairments, including difficulties with recalling traumatic events, but the degree of loss depends on the specific brain regions affected.
Considering I also had an epileptic episode, more than one region could’ve been affected, but either way, it varies for everyone.
It makes me wonder if whatever happened with Aunt Phoebe has a direct correlation to the stuff I can’t remember because it was traumatic for me too.
The consensus is that brain injuries affect people differently and there’s not always a rhyme or reason to it.
While it’s somewhat helpful and reassuring that most people get their partial memories back, it’s frustrating not having the answers.
Some people on Reddit wrote that forgetting their trauma was the best thing that ever happened to them. Even if it was only temporary, they lived in peace for the first time.
Part of me wonders if this is a blessing in disguise, and I should appreciate it instead of wishing for it back.
I think I’d be okay with that as long as I get to ride again someday.
Finally, after begging my dad, he agrees to take me to the ranch to see Ranger after work. If even for thirty minutes, he needs to know I haven’t abandoned him.
I text Noah to let her know I’m coming and she meets us outside the stables.
“Hey, you look good!” She gives me a small hug, but I know she’s just being polite. The wound on my head looks better, but I still have a small bandage to cover it. “How’re you feelin’?”
“Pretty good. The headaches are mild, and I get a little bit of dizziness, but it’s gotten a lot better.”
“Well, that’s progress at least. Are you sleepin’ okay?”
“All I do is sleep.” I groan. “I’ve slept more this week than I have my whole life.”
Noah chuckles at the exaggeration, but I never sleep more than eight hours a night. Even when I don’t set my alarm, my body wakes me up, but this past week I’ve slept for twelve hours or more each night.
“You probably needed it,” she says. “Well, let’s go see Ranger. He’s been a little restless, but he’s gonna be so excited.”
I smile because she’s right. The moment he comes into view, he releases a high-pitched squeal, and I almost cry at how good it is to see him.
“Hey, buddy!” I walk inside his stall and wrap my arms around him, inhaling his earthy scent. “I missed you so much.”
Petting his neck, he nuzzles his nose against me.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”
Noah pets him on the other side and we talk for a few minutes while my dad walks around and checks out the other horses.
Although I can’t ride, I can talk to and groom him. Though I don’t have anything interesting to say, hearing my voice is enough to calm his anxiety.
When the brush slips out of my hand, I carefully bend to grab it, but when I go back up, I jump at the sight of Landen.
“Jesus Christ, you scared me,” he says, a palm over his heart.
“I was about to say the same thing.”
“Where’d you come from?”
I hold up the brush. “I dropped it.”
“I mean, when did you get here?”
“Oh, just a bit ago. My dad’s walkin’ around so I could spend a few minutes with Ranger. What’re you doin’?”
He holds up a thick book in his hand. “I came to read to him.”
“You did? Why?”
“You said it calms him, so I figured I’d try it and it has so far. But nothing beats you being here, so he probably doesn’t need me tonight.”
“Wait, you’ve been readin’ to him this whole week?”
“Yeah, we’re”—he flips through the book—“about two hundred pages in.”
Stepping closer, I flip the cover so I can see what it is. “Oh my God, that’s my favorite book!”
He points to the title, Project Hail Mary. “Your favorite?”
Smiling, I nod. “One of ’em, yes.”
He bursts out laughing. “You see the irony, right? He loses his memory on a spaceship?”
“Yes, it’s very funny,” I deadpan. “Maybe I’ll solve a mission.”
“You never know.” He winks. “Do you wanna read it to him tonight?”
I lower my eyes and shuffle my boots in the straw. “Um…I can’t read right now. My vision is still a little blurry.”
He smacks his forehead with the book. “Oh shit, sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Well, if you wanna stick around, I’ll read to you both.”
My heart swells at the thought of him sitting in Ranger’s stall and reading to him. I know Ranger must love it.
“Sure, I can stay for a while.”
As I continue brushing Ranger’s coat and combing through his mane, Landen reads and it’s mesmerizing. He has a great reading voice.
“Sweetheart, it’s gettin’ late. We should go,” my dad says an hour later.
When I stick out my lower lip, he sighs. “You can’t push yourself too quickly.”
“I’m just standin’ here,” I argue.
He gives me a pointed look. “You know what I mean.”
“Can you bring me back tomorrow?” I ask him.
“Maybe. We’ll see how you’re feelin’.”
Landen flashes me a small smile, and I give him one in return. “Thanks for readin’ to Ranger and me.”
“Anytime, Ellie.”
The smooth way he says my name sounds like he’s been eagerly waiting to speak it out loud.
Dad nods at Landen, and then I say goodbye.
As we drive back into town, I get a text from a number I don’t recognize.
Unknown
You forgot something.
Well, that could be anything considering…but first…
Ellie
Who is this?
Unknown
Wow, seriously? You never even saved my name in your phone. Why am I not surprised?
I snort. Previous Ellie really did hate him.
Ellie
Maybe I was just trying to come up with a name as clever as Little Devil.
Unknown
I’m sure that was the case.
Ellie
Well, give me an idea…what name would I have put your number under?
Unknown
Probably “The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Seen” or “Hottest Cowboy Ever” …just to give you a couple ideas.
Ellie
Wow…both great choices! However, I’m thinking of something a bit shorter. Maybe “Egomaniac?” or “Captain Ego?”
Unknown
Captain? Now we’re talking.
Ellie
Glad I didn’t suggest Lord High and Mighty. You’d probably require I bow at your feet.
Unknown
I would never suggest that. Kneeling, maybe.
My eyes widen at the text on my screen and my cheeks heat. I glance over at my dad to make sure he’s not watching me blush.
Did he seriously just say that? Is he flirting with me?
I’m not good at that. If anything, my resting bitch face is part of the reason I’ve been single for years.
Ellie
Um…didn’t you say I forgot something? Are you gonna tell me what that is or add it to the long list of other shit I don’t know?
Unknown
Depends. Did you change my name yet?
Smirking, I roll my eyes and edit his contact information. Then I take a screenshot and send it to him.
Ellie
Here, I gave you a promotion.
Major Ego
HAHAHA
He adds a dorky sunglasses emoji.
Major Ego
Now you know this means you’ll be required to salute me.
Ellie
Of course.
And then I add the saluting emoji.
Major Ego
Okay good. Well the thing you forgot was me telling you a memory. In the hospital, I mentioned I would in a few days assuming you didn’t get it back by then.
Ellie
Oh right! Better tell me something good…
Major Ego
I’ll let you pick. Do you wanna hear something nice or something mean?
Ellie
Is the nice or mean in reference to me?
Major Ego
Yes.
Ellie
Uhh…nice, I guess.
Major Ego
I had a horse named Sydney. Noah and I ended up rescuing her from a bad home where she was being neglected.
I was the only one she’d go to while I nursed her back to health.
Used to ride her all over the ranch and retreat.
One day she got sick and had to have surgery to remove the blockage.
She went into shock and her heart couldn’t keep up.
After twenty-four hours, I refused to let her suffer, so I had to say goodbye.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through.
A few days later, you gave me a condolence card. I still have it in my truck.
Wow…I did not expect that at all. If I truly hated him, why would I go through the trouble of gifting him a card?
Ellie
Okay, now tell me something mean.
I know I’m being greedy, but I’m dying for more.
Major Ego
I took your card as an olive branch, and a couple weeks later, asked you out on a date. You laughed in my face and walked away.
I cover my mouth, containing my laughter. It’s not funny. In fact, it’s really mean, but the fact that he’s even talking to me after I did that is comical.
Ellie
I’m not sure if I should apologize or say that’s what you get for trying to get in my pants.
Major Ego
I was only trying to take you to dinner!
Ellie
Sorry, I feel awful. Maybe I can make it up to you?
Major Ego
I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
Ellie
Because you think I’m gonna wake up and remember why I hate you…
Major Ego
That would pretty much be my luck, yes.
Ellie
How about if I still don’t remember you in a month, you reconsider?
Major Ego
Okay deal…one month.
Ellie
Deal.
“Who’s makin’ you smile like that?” my dad asks when he pulls into our driveway.
“It’s Landen. Apparently, I never saved his contact info and we came up with one.”
“Be careful with him, okay?”
I unbuckle my belt and look at him. “What do you mean?”
“In the past four years, you’ve not said one thing about him. Well, nothin’ nice at least.”
“So?”
“You weren’t interested in him for a reason, so I’m just saying…be careful. You’ll get your memory back and may remember why you didn’t in the first place.”
“Knowing how focused on racing I was, I could see myself not being very nice to him either. It was probably for a silly reason in the first place, and I didn’t like the distraction of his attention, so I tried to push him away.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. But it’s feasible. Why else would I act like that and never give him a reason? Dating was never a priority because all I cared about was training.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, sweetheart.”
I point to my head. “A little too late for that.”
He pierces me with a scowl. “You know what I mean. Just be cautious.”
“Shouldn’t you be telling me to take this second chance and have fun for a bit?
I coulda died if my brain injury had been worse.
But I didn’t, so this could be the universe giving me another opportunity to live life outside of being a pro barrel racer.
As upset as I am about being out this season, this is the first time in years I’ve not had to worry about gettin’ ready for the next race or stickin’ to a routine.
Granted, I hate sittin’ around the house, but maybe I’ll find other opportunities, too. ”
“I understand, sweetie. Really, I do. But I’m your dad, and I’ll always wanna protect you.”
I smile at his sincerity. “I love you, too.”