Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
LANDEN
Seeing Ellie last Saturday gave me the reassurance I needed that she hadn’t remembered me or was back to hating my guts.
This version of her is fun and playful, and I almost feel guilty for enjoying it.
It’s a battle I’ve been fighting since she woke up in the hospital, but when I found her in Ranger’s stall seven days ago, I couldn’t resist seeing where our conversation led. Even if it was just spending time together as friends, it’d be better than her pretending I didn’t exist.
But then she came up with this one-month deal where she’d make it up to me for rejecting my offer two years ago.
I shouldn’t have agreed because I know better than to get my hopes up, but how can I not when I’ve wanted her to give me a chance for years? Then again, how do I protect my heart from the inevitable when she realizes how close I let her get to me and she hates me even more for it?
So many what-ifs and various scenarios that I don’t have answers to. Ellie could get her memory back in a matter of weeks, months, or perhaps never.
But I knew I’d kick myself for not taking this opportunity to see what could happen. It’s a risk, but I’ll accept the consequences and hope we don’t fall apart when it ends.
The day after, I sent her a message to see how she was feeling.
That led to us texting all day long and then each night we’d FaceTime so she could watch and listen to me reading to Ranger.
He loved getting to hear her voice, too.
It’s become our routine for the past eight days, but I’m dying to see her in person again.
Ellie had her follow-up doctor appointment for her concussion and due to some of the lingering side effects, she still can’t drive or do anything too physical. I offered to pick her up and bring her to see Ranger after my shifts, but she was usually too tired by then.
Even though I always looked forward to talking to her, I woke up each morning anticipating the moment she’d tell me her memory was back and she hated my guts again.
Luckily, that hasn’t happened, and instead, I’ve been smiling at my phone nonstop like a lunatic who’s falling for a girl who has the potential to destroy him.
Today’s no different. We’ve been texting on and off all day, and she’s been talking with Noah to see if she can convince her dad to drop her off for a few hours.
He’s been protective of letting her come after the doctor suggested she needed to continue resting.
Since she hasn’t had any other epileptic episodes, they’re anticipating she’ll be clear for casual riding in a month or two.
Even though it’s Sunday, there are still chores to be done. Stalls to muck and horses to feed, but I save the breeding work for weekdays so I only have to work half a day. Unless I’m using the other half to catch up on paperwork, invoices, and returning emails.
“Incoming!”
Before I have a chance to react, a hay bale smacks into my head.
“Didn’t you hear my warnin’?” Waylon asks a few moments later, towering above me as I lie flat on my ass.
I groan, giving in to the pain. “You mean the point two-second one?”
“It slipped outta my grip, sorry.” He holds out his hand and helps me to my feet.
When I look up, Tripp and Wilder are in the loft, laughing.
“Fuck you, guys. Too bad I didn’t get a concussion and forget we were related.”
“Hey, don’t include me in that!” Noah shouts behind me.
“Jesus Christ.” I spin around toward her. “Where do y’all keep comin’ from?”
“You’d need to remember me so I could tell you all the chicks you’ve already dated so you didn’t try datin’ them again,” Waylon muses, grabbing the bale and carrying it back up.
“I was comin’ to tell you Ellie’s on her way out here. Her dad’s droppin’ her off to come hang out with Ranger, but I thought you’d like to spend some time with her, too,” Noah says.
“Aren’t you the one who told me not to give her false hope and now you’re encouraging me?” I raise a brow.
Talk about confusing.
She doesn’t know Ellie and I have been talking all week, but I still enjoy giving her shit.
“Yes, I know. But she doesn’t have a lot of people she can trust, and for whatever reason, this version of Ellie seems to like you. I’m not saying start datin’ her, but it wouldn’t hurt to hang out as friends.”
“Riiiiiight. So you’re givin’ me permission to spend time with her but not to fuck her.”
She playfully smacks my chest. “Landen Michael!”
“Dude, I’m already hurtin’.” I rub the spot where she hit.
“Oh please. A hay bale is like forty pounds. You can lift two of ’em at a time without breakin’ a sweat.”
I point to my skull. “It was dropped on my head…”
She rolls her eyes before walking away as if this is a normal occurrence.
“Ellie will be at the stables in an hour…” she calls out over her shoulder.
Since I was done for the day anyway, I drive home and change out of my work clothes. As anxious as I am to see her, I remind myself that this is temporary.
But as I’ve already decided, I’ll take what I can get.
Before I go to the stables, I stop by the main house to see if Mom and Gramma Grace need anything at the store for tonight’s supper. I usually grocery shop on Saturdays, but I ran out of time.
“You’re so sweet to ask. I’ll make a list,” Mom says. “I heard Ellie’s comin’ today. You should invite her to stay for dinner tonight.”
“Okay, sure,” I say.
Once she hands me the list, I scan it over and then smile. “We’re havin’ a feast tonight or what?”
“Don’t we always?” Mom smirks, patting my cheek. “Appreciate ya goin’ for me.”
“No problem, Ma. I’ll be back in a bit.”
I drive to the stables and smile when I find Ellie at Ranger’s stall. She’s wearing those sexy-as-hell cut-off jean shorts.
“Hey.”
Her eyes brighten when they find mine and she noticeably checks me out. “You’re wearin’ a cowboy hat.”
“Yeah. A Cattleman. Do you like it?” I tilt my head down so she can see all of it.
“I do. How very western of you.”
Chuckling, I nod. “I like wearin’ it once in a while. Other times, I wear a baseball cap.”
“Like at the hospital.”
“Right.”
“Both suit you nicely.”
I narrow my eyes, and she mimics the gesture.
“What?” she asks.
“I was just waitin’ for you to mock me about it or say sike and that I look dumb.”
“Why? Oh, because of the whole I hate you thing?” She shrugs. “Well, I don’t today. But I do have a theory.”
Arching a brow, I lean against the stalls. “What’s that?”
“That we’re actually dating…but in secret.
It’s why your name wasn’t in my contacts.
I probably had it memorized anyway, but in case anyone saw me texting you, they wouldn’t know who I was texting.
It’s why I would’ve deleted the thread. But for whatever reason, you don’t want anyone to know, or maybe it was my idea not to tell anyone, but either way, we pretended we couldn’t stand each other to keep anyone from findin’ out. ”
“Have you hit your head again?” I ask.
She swats at my arm. “You can’t tell me that sounds any less crazy than us being enemies for no reason?”
“I’m sorry to burst your theory bubble, but that’s wrong.”
She folds her arms. “Then why were you sittin’ next to my bedside holdin’ my hand?”
“Because I didn’t want you to feel alone. Noah had just left and—”
“Why were you even there in the first place if I hated you?”
Leaning in closer, I slide my tongue along my bottom lip. “Because I never hated you.”
Her breath hitches at my closeness, and I know I affect her as much as she affects me.
“We’ve been textin’ all week like it was a normal thing for us.” There’s a hint of sadness in her voice like she’s desperate to put the puzzle pieces together and frustrated that she can’t. “It didn’t feel like I was talkin’ to someone I’d just met.”
“It didn’t feel like that for me either,” I admit. “Even though I have memories from the past four years, the way we talk now is new to me, too.”
“Then kiss me.”
Taking a step back, I meet her serious expression. “What?”
“I wanna test my theory. If we’ve never dated or kissed before, then there’ll be no instant chemistry or familiarity. If there is, I’ll know I’m right.”
I scrub my palm across my face, desperately trying to think of a way out of this. Ironic considering how long I’ve wanted to kiss her.
“Ellie…”
“What’s the harm?”
“We agreed to wait a month,” I remind her. “And I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”
“That agreement was for a date. This is just a kiss. One little kiss.”
“You’re sure about this? You’re not gonna tell Noah I took advantage or something to get me in trouble?”
“Of course not!” She flinches. “Why? Is that something the old me would do?”
I bark out a laugh. “The old you wouldn’t be standin’ here beggin’ me to kiss her.”
“I’m not begging.”
I smirk. “Kinda sounds like you are.”
She sighs. “If you’re a chickenshit, just admit it. Or maybe you’re a bad kisser…”
“That’s definitely not it…”
Her shoulders lift. “Alright, if you say so.”
She moves to walk past me, and without hesitating, I grab her arm and pull her back. My palms cradle her face as I lean in and brush my lips along hers. I’m cautious at first, but when she doesn’t pull away, I slide my tongue between them.
My fingers thread through her hair as I cup her head and pull her closer.
She moans against my mouth, her fists tightening around the fabric of my shirt as she takes everything I give her.
I’ve craved her this way for so long, and now that I’ve had a taste, how can I ever go without it again?
When my heart threatens to beat out of my chest, I pull away, gasping for air and seeking reassurance that she doesn’t instantly regret it.
“So what’s the verdict?” I finally ask, swallowing hard as I adjust myself.
“Damn, I was hopin’ that’d prove we were havin’ a secret affair,” she breathes out, but then her fingers touch where my lips had been. “Guess I was wrong after all.”
There’s a hint of deviousness on her face, and then it hits me.
“You played me.”
Her shoulders lift. “And you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”