Chapter 5 #2
I inhaled sharply, shaking my head. “Anything can happen to you. Didn’t you hear, the man who married…” I halted, my tongue unable to roll out the following words. I couldn’t even imagine anything happening to him.
“What?” he asked. I didn’t know why he wanted to hear things from my mouth that I didn’t want to say.
“I’m inauspicious now,” I made it simpler.
A smile lingered on his face. “If I touch you, will something bad happen to me?” he asked.
I stood frozen under his pinning gaze. My brows furrowed as he placed his palm on my cheek, his long fingers gliding down to my ears, almost reaching my neck, with his thumb gently brushing over my cheekbone.
“Nothing happened,” he stated after a brief silence.
My heart raced. His cologne wrapped around me, and his words spun my world.
What was I doing?
No!
No, this was wrong.
What is he doing here? He shouldn’t be here.
I immediately pushed him away. Overwhelming tears streamed down my face as I noticed the red colour on his fingers. He couldn’t do this to me.
I couldn’t do this to him.
He stood, shocked, as the wave of reality visibly washed over his face. I shook my head before running away to my room.
When I reached the quarters, I immediately raced to the bathing area. It was empty, as all the attendants were busy celebrating. Stepping down the stairs to the shared pool, I knelt on the last step and leaned forward to wash my hands.
But as soon as I looked at my reflection in the water, my heart stopped.
The red imprints of his fingers weren’t just a mistake, but a gesture of my belonging to him.
I looked at my palms, which were coloured red. I immediately turned around to notice the imprints of my red feet on the wet stairs.
Tears welled in my eyes.
No.
He couldn’t do this to me.
Why was he introducing me to a colour that was forbidden to me? Why wasn’t he scared of my misfortune destroying his life? And, most importantly, why was he interested in me this way?
“Suman,” an attendant’s voice caught my attention, and I turned around to look at her.
“Yes,” I asked, wiping away my tears.
“Rani-sa is asking for you,” she said, and I smiled, nodding.
He promised me that nothing would happen. Although I didn’t believe in superstitions, I couldn’t risk the lives of people I wholeheartedly loved.
But the red colour imprinted on my cheeks, forearms, palms, and feet was not only his ideology but also his confidence in my fate and in me.
So, I trusted both my fate and his trust.
I went to the celebration and enjoyed it to the fullest. Nandani was happiest watching Daadi-sa and Princess Aishwarya dance for her.
?????
It’s been two weeks since that incident—encounter—whatever.
I’d tried hard to avoid him.
I wouldn’t go near Nandani if he were around, nor would I go to his chamber even if Nandani asked me to; I would send another attendant as he suggested. I wouldn’t even look at him if he crossed my path.
No, I wasn’t angry. But he was right. Even if nothing happened, I might stand between him and his wife. And I could never become the person I deeply hated—a mistress.
What was I even thinking?
As I cleaned Nandani’s chamber late in the afternoon, thousands of thoughts raced through my mind when, suddenly, a scream tore through the usual buzz.
I ran toward the courtyard, my heart racing as I gazed upon Nandani leaning against the wall. Water dribbled from her core, running down her legs.
“Nandani,” I yelled. “Reva, call the physician,” I added, motioning for Reva to hurry.
“I… I think… the baby is coming.”
Ranaji rushed toward her. “Nandani!”
“Rudra…” she cried out in pain, and he immediately turned to me.
“Have Agastya send a letter to Mahabaleshgarh.”
I stood stunned.
What? How can I?
Lifting her in his arms, he hurried inside the bedchamber. The physicians came running.
My heart raced as I impulsively ran toward his chamber.
I lifted my skirt slightly and dashed forward, my heart pounding inexplicably; perhaps it was time for good news.
Yet, dread crept in, thinking of the pain she would endure.
The sound of her single cry sent chills down my spine, leaving me uncertain about her delivery.
I navigated through the bustling corridors, chaos enveloping me as I neared his chamber.
My sole intention was to convey the news and return to her swiftly.
However, upon entering his chamber, an unsettling emptiness overwhelmed me, intensifying my heartbeat.
Memories rushed back—remnants of that day when his hand had brushed against mine, and the touch still lingered on my arm.
I took a deep breath, attempting to calm my racing thoughts.
“Kunwar-sa,” I called out, entering his chamber after taking due permission from the guards standing outside.
With no response from the other side, I felt compelled to venture further inside.
It’s been almost two weeks since that incident. Since then, we’ve only had a few meetings. He was doing everything he could to ignore me, and I was doing my utmost to make him feel as if I didn’t even exist.
As I entered his chamber, the soft jingle of my anklets resonated gently. I searched for him in the guest chambers and the courtyard, making my way to the practice room and library, curious if he might be there. But he wasn’t.
As I stepped into his bedroom, chills went down my spine. The memory of his breath in my ear and haunting words lingered in my mind. I hadn’t sensed it before, but now it was undeniable.
I knew I shouldn’t have been here or anywhere near him.
However, despite my intense struggles, I couldn’t deny that he was becoming my everything. I felt tied to him. The thought that something could happen to him because he married me pushed me away even more, while also drawing me closer to him.
“Kunwar-sa,” I called out again, but he didn’t respond. Again.
Taking a deep breath, I realised I had no choice but to step into his bedroom.
Biting my lower lip and adjusting the dupatta on my head, I quietly entered.
A subtle fragrance of jasmine and lavender filled the air. The encroaching darkness caught my attention immediately. I swallowed nervously in the pin-drop silence and tried to look around for him.
He was sitting neither on his couch nor on his bed.
I hesitated to walk any further and tried to call out, “Kunwar Agastya,”
My voice echoed in the chamber, and a slight fear crept into my nerves. I took a few more steps toward the dressing room, blinking anxiously.
Did something happen to him? No!
My fingers were shaking.
Should I leave?
But I had to inform him, right? Otherwise, Nandani’s family wouldn’t have made it on time.
I inhaled deeply and kept walking toward the dressing room. The door was closed. I clenched my fist and tried to knock, but it moved as I touched it.
It was open. I tried to peek inside.
“Taaka jhaanki karne aayi ho?”
“Are you here to take a peek?”
I was startled upon hearing his deep, throaty voice and feeling the cold blade pressed against my neck, along with a presence looming behind me.
I shook my head right away. He drew the dagger even closer. I stepped back, and my back hit his chest. The scent of fresh bath oils enveloped me. A few drops of water from his hair fell onto my shoulder.
“Hum kyun taaka jhaaki karenge aapke kaksh me?” “Why would I try to peek in your chamber?” I asked in a shaky voice.
“To phir? Apne patni hone ka adhikaar lene aayi ho?”
“Then? Are you here to claim your rights as my wife?” he asked.
I felt another drop of water fall on my shoulder, which trickled slowly further down my chest, disappearing into my blouse.
I inhaled sharply.
My heart raced as he gently took the dupatta off my head and rubbed his hair, drying it with the fabric’s edge. Water droplets splashed wildly on my arms and cheeks, leaving my stomach twisted.
“Daasi hain hum; patni hone ka adhikaar kyu maangenge aapse?”
“I’m a maid; why would I ask for the rights of a wife?” I stuttered.
He chuckled softly, pressing the blade further into my skin. I couldn’t help but grip his wrist tightly.
“I’m scared, Kunwar-sa,” I stuttered. My knees grew weaker.
“If you’re scared, why are your cheeks flushed?” he asked.
New sensations bubbled to the surface of my skin at his deep voice.
I wiggled desperately to escape his hold, but with the blade so close to my neck, I remained paralysed between him and the door. I couldn’t understand why he took pleasure in toying with me.
“I’m not blushing,” I shot back, feeling his face move closer to the side of my neck as his dangerously sensual voice dripped from his lips.
“You are.” His words stirred warmth deep within me. “Your cheeks have a rosy tint, and your lips… resemble a… freshly sliced berry.”
I was unsure why I felt so hot around him. Gulping nervously and blinking helplessly, I replied. “I’m not, Kunwar Agastya.”
“Really?” he asked, bringing his hand around my waist.
Why was he doing this to me?
The back of my head rested against his chest, my brows creased together, my lips parted, and my lashes fluttered heavily as his rough fingers brushed the bare side of my waist.
Feeling the tickling touch of his finger, the hair on my body stood on end in anticipation. His fingers slowly travelled along the curve of my waist, reaching for my navel.
I exhaled deeply.
The words caught in my throat, and my eyes closed tightly from the manly touch that had never felt so comforting and tender before. I felt his lips drawing to my ear, pulling me back to reality instantly.
“Hence, proved, half-wife,” he drawled.
I quickly pushed his wrist away from my waist.
He chuckled softly, and I couldn’t help but exclaim in a single breath, “Please leave me; Nandani is in labour. Ranaji asked you to write a letter to Mahableshgarh. That’s the reason I was here.”
“What?” He tilted his head to the side and asked me with a broad smile, “What did you say?” He repeated cheerfully and moved the dagger away from my neck.