Chapter 11
“G
o back, please.” His words struck my heart, and I stepped away from him. But he looked worried—not just worried, but troubled and unwell.
What was wrong with him, and why was he wearing black clothes and had kohl applied to his eyes?
Had he been somewhere? Why was he so hot? It seemed he had a fever.
It was early morning, and I had woken up because of the racing thoughts in my mind. I sensed something was amiss when I saw him nearly sprinting to his chamber.
After following him, I realised that something was indeed wrong.
But he sent me out of his chamber.
Since then, I’ve been helping the maids in the kitchen, yet he still hasn’t called for breakfast. It was almost noon. I felt worried because he had given me that black thread the other day, which was missing from his hand.
I tried to focus on watching the maids make laddoos, but his thoughts consumed me.
I just wanted to know if he was okay. I knew he wouldn’t tell me unless something was wrong.
He had been tough on me lately, but he cared.
It wasn’t as if he hated me or didn’t want to see me.
If he hated me, why would he have met me before leaving the palace?
Not just leaving, but leaving his dagger with me.
Yes! I should return his dagger.
He had asked me to keep it safe, so I quickly stood up, went to my room, grabbed it, and brought it to his chamber.
As I walked in, silence engulfed me. I attempted to call out “Kunwar-sa,”
The chamber was dark; all the curtains were drawn, blocking the sunlight. No attendants were present.
I narrowed my gaze at his bedroom curtains, and a knot tightened in my stomach. I hadn’t seen him with Nandani or Ranaji since this morning.
“Kunwar Agastya,” I called again, but he didn’t respond. I just wanted to check if he was okay since he didn’t seem well the night before. I couldn’t help but slide the bedroom curtains away and peek inside.
I felt increasingly anxious.
Nervously gulping, I walked inside and glanced at his bed, which was draped with curtains. “Kunwar-sa,” I called softly again, trying not to draw anyone’s attention to the fact that I was in his chamber when I shouldn’t have been.
He didn’t respond, prompting me to move closer. It was late afternoon, and he rarely slept for so long.
As I parted the bed’s curtains, I found him sleeping on his stomach, half-naked, covered only to his waist with a duvet.
The view made me bite my lower lip, and I blinked nervously.
Walking to the side of the bed, I noticed his closed eyes and steady breathing. His hair fell across his forehead, and his lips looked redder.
“Kunwar-sa,” I called again.
Leaning in, I touched his forehead to check his temperature.
Suddenly, he opened his eyes, catching me off guard. Inhaling deeply, he looked at me from top to bottom, and his gaze softened with surprise before calming down and closing his eyes again.
“Are you okay?” I asked, and he nodded slightly. His green eyes, accentuated with kohl, were mesmerising, and his tan skin made my cheeks flush, reminding me of the warmth he radiated.
“I came to return your dagger,” I said, placing it beside him.
He stared at me silently, prompting me to step back and consider leaving.
“Suno,” “Listen,” he called, and I turned to look back at him. “Stay,” he demanded, and I bit my lower lip.
“If I will, you’ll say you asked me to stay because I wanted to.”
He inhaled deeply and lazily extended his hand.
I gulped nervously, unsure of what to do. My mind insisted this was wrong, but my heart wanted to surrender and stay.
“For me,” he whispered, locking his gaze onto mine as he brushed my finger. A tingling sensation coursed through my stomach as he clamped onto my hand and drew me closer. Slowly. Very slowly.
I sat nervously on the edge of the bed, my legs dangling down, watching him move closer to me. As he shifted, the comforter slipped, and I accidentally glimpsed the lower curve of his back.
“You’re naked,” I mumbled, looking at him as he brought his forehead nearer to my hip.
“That’s fine; you won’t be disappointed.” His words made me smile slightly, and I realised he was Kunwarsa Agastya—unapologetically, Agastya Dev Singh, who didn’t care.
I felt the rough texture of his hand intertwining with mine, sending butterflies to my stomach.
I noticed the slight cracks on his fingertips, which had healed considerably since I found him with the mortar and that grey powder.
“Kunwar-sa, are you really okay?” I asked in a serious tone. “I mean, if you feel like sharing,” I added.
He shut his eyes and took a deep breath before gently shaking his head. Overcoming my emotions, I gazed at his face and squeezed his hand tightly, asking, “What’s wrong?”
At that moment, I forgot our roles, our titles. I overlooked the world beyond these drawn curtains—just him and me.
“I went to a… brothel last night,” he broke the silence, causing a sudden tightness in my chest with his words.
Words hung in my throat as I struggled to ask, “Did you cheat on your fiancé?”
After a brief pause, he shook his head and murmured, “I’m sorry about last night. I did not intend to raise my voice at you.”
“I know,” I replied, but the word ‘brothel’ kept lurking in my mind. “Why did you go to the brothel, then?”
He moved closer. “Will you promise to keep this between us?” he asked, and I swallowed nervously.
“Yes,”
“I suspect Mehrangarh is conspiring against us, and its chief commander possesses vital information,” he said. “Last night, he visited the brothel, and I went there to gather information.”
I furrowed my brows. “But you’re marrying the Princess of Mehrangarh, and the commander must have seen you. Didn’t he recognise you?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t meet him directly. I sent an old frie… I mean, someone I know, to him, and she got this information for me,” he said, gently caressing the back of my hand with his thumb.
I bit my lower lip and tried to speak in a slow, calculated voice, “Someone you know means a girl, and you know her because you have a history with her?”
He opened his kohl-rimmed eyes and gave me a slight nod.
“Oh, so you have feelings for her?” I asked again, and he shook his head.
“No, I’ve met her only a few times before,” he added.
I blinked silently and asked again, “So what happened then?”
He squeezed my hand gently and closed his eyes, hiding his face like a baby. “Um…” he mumbled. “I asked her to get that information, and she asked me to sleep with her in return.”
I felt a slight lump in my throat at this revelation. “So, you slept with her?” I asked calmly, but to my surprise, he shook his head.
“No, I denied it, so she asked me to fuck her with my dagger,” he spoke, and I felt a knot in my stomach; the words hung in my throat.
“But you left your dagger with me. How can you… I mean, how do you do that with your dagger?” I asked, watching him gulp. I could see his Adam’s apple move in his throat as he swallowed.
“Yes, because I didn’t want to be involved with anyone,” he said. “But she drugged me with something to make me lose control and heighten my desire,”
I felt my palm growing colder with his words. “So, you…” I couldn’t say anything; I just stared at him. He shook his head, looking again at me.
“That’s why I asked you to leave yesterday,” he said.
I inhaled, realising the gravity of the situation.
“Oh,” I said, trying to calm my pounding heart, and continued.
“But you didn’t have to do it. I mean, Mehrangarh is close to you.
You could’ve gone to your fiancée. Bearing that drug would’ve been difficult.
She could have hel…” I cleared my throat slightly and continued, “Helped you.”
He turned around, staring back at me blankly. “You’re stupid,”
I gulped silently, lowering my gaze. “Am I?” I muttered, straightening up and locking my eyes with him.
I felt my cheeks burn under his gaze, and the memory of seeing him half-naked in my dream overwhelmed my mind.
“So, are you still under the influence of drugs? Am I in trouble?” I asked slowly, and he smiled, shaking his head.
“No,”
I bit my lip, uncertain about what to do next. The memory of the previous night warmed my cheeks, but his revelation about a woman he had slept with stirred something else within me.
“So, you slept with that woman before?” I asked hesitantly. “Was it for pleasure or to gain information?”
His smile faded slightly as he lowered his gaze.
My eyes landed on his bare chest, biceps, and muscles. He wasn’t as bulky as Ranaji. While all the brothers were the same height, he was leaner than they were.
He lightly sucked his lip and took a sharp breath. “Will it hurt you?” he asked, his voice low.
I gulped nervously, unsure why it was already causing me pain. “Why would it hurt me? I mean, you’re getting married to the Princess of Mehrangarh,” I preached, and he lifted his gaze to meet mine.
“But we’re kind of married too,” he intoned.
I shook my head. “That’s good for fun and delusion to keep us happy, perhaps, but in reality, there is no ‘us.’ You are a prince, and I am just a maid.
While I may be in a stronger position than other maids, well-respected and loved, I’m still a maid.
I’m thinking about going back to Mahabaleshgarh because it’s clear that I’m causing problems in your life,” I expressed, looking at him, his gaze intensifying as he shook his head.
“You can’t go,” he stated, and I shook my head.
“It’s good for us. Perhaps we’ll forget each other,” I wished, but he shook his head.
“Do you want to stay away from me?” he inquired, and I didn’t know how to respond. I was in a dilemma. A war raged in my head.
“I don’t know,”
“Then, don’t go,” he requested, voice tinged with authority.
I gulped nervously. “But, you are getting—”