Agastya
With every step I took away from her, I reminded myself that she needed to confront her fears. It wasn ’ t my job to make her feel at ease.
Everything I did was meant to protect her, and I would always look after her as…a Prince.
But her eyes appeared hopeless and empty, and her smile seemed locked away somewhere. The pallor of her skin hadn ’ t faded since that day, and it was all turning into a nightmare for me.
It made me uneasy. I didn ’ t want to look at her and feel that I could do something, but I didn ’ t.
Reaching my chamber, I noticed the two female attendees packing the requested items. “ Is everything ready?” I asked.
“ Yes, Kunwar ,” one of them replied.
I nodded in response and walked straight into the bathroom for a quick bath. However, my mind lingered on the night she brought me food. Her face appeared scared; she looked exhausted yet afraid of sleep.
I understood she wouldn ’ t quickly get over that day—her past. Even though I was unaware of the specifics of her suffering, I could see irreparable things in her eyes.
But I wanted her to forget all that. It wouldn ’ t happen again.
And I didn ’ t know why it was bothering me.
She sat quietly before me, her eyes downcast, and I sensed she wanted to stay in my presence. And I didn ’ t know how to console her; it wasn ’ t my place.
Knowing I couldn ’ t keep that flame alive, I didn ’ t want to spark that in her in the first place.
Or we both would burn.
After taking off my clothes, I slid into the pool, resting my head against the wall with my eyes closed.
Her haunting words about fear, ‘ Those who don ’ t have shadows over their head can ’ t afford to be scared of fear, Kunwarsa. ’ had lingered with me since that day.
Her pain ran deep, and now another layer of terror had been added: fire. She feared fire. She sat before me while I ate, never lifting her gaze to the flames just a few feet away. Perhaps she sought some comforting words or simply wanted to be near me. Either way, she shouldn ’ t have come.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes, once again realizing I had been lost in thoughts of her when I shouldn ’ t have been.
She wasn ’ t my wife. She wasn ’ t… my wife. She was not my anything—just a responsibility.
Maybe, More than responsibility.
I gulped, clenched my teeth, and tried to forget that day, focusing on other things. But one thing gnawed at me deeply: the suffering of the women who had experienced that ritual. I didn ’ t know what motivated me to protect her, but at that moment, I felt I would lose someone who had contributed so much to my life.
I observed her smiling and laughing with Bhabhisa while diligently working each day to fulfill her responsibilities.
She didn ’ t deserve to die like that. Nobody did.
My heart raced. I couldn ’ t even imagine what the future would be like without her. In that moment, her pain was so overwhelming that I forgot everything and did what needed to be done. I had no idea how much trauma she endured.
There I was, plagued by nightmares of that day, utterly oblivious to what she was experiencing.
“ Kunwar ,” a voice from the audience interrupted my thoughts, and I turned to face him. “ Hmm?”
"Commander Eklavya came to see you." I nodded before he left.
I rushed to finish my bath, concentrating on the critical matters ahead. After getting ready, I stepped out and noticed Eklavya waiting for me in the meeting area.
"Kunwar ," he said, standing up with a bow as I approached him.
"Is everything ready?" I inquired, and he nodded. I mentally reviewed my checklist.
The gifts, the soldiers, and Eklavya.
"Did you test it?" he asked, and I nodded slightly.
“ It ’ s working, but I ’ m not sure exactly how we can use it,” I admitted, and he furrowed his brow before speaking after a brief pause.
“ Several people have observed the commander of Mehrangarh in the brothels. Perhaps we should place some spies there. He knows what ’ s happening, and I think they may also know how to exploit it.” He suggested, and I nodded, considering his words.
“ Then we should focus on extracting yellow crystals from Songarh,” I suggested, and he agreed.
“ There ’ s only one issue: we need to appoint someone trustworthy in Mehrangarh to monitor them,” he said, and I smiled slightly.
“ That ’ s why I ’ m taking you there,” I said, wrapping my arm around his shoulder as we walked toward the kingdom ’ s main door.
“ What do you mean?” he asked, confused, and I explained. “ I ’ ve asked Rudra Bhaisa to assign you as my fianc é’ s bodyguard so you can watch over the kingdom.”
He arched his eyebrows. “ Why would they agree to that?”
Smiling, I replied, “ Because I care about my future wife,”
He smirked a bit. “ Caring? Really?” he teased, and I playfully punched his abs.
“ ,” Rudra Bhaisa ’ s voice caught my attention, pulling my gaze from Eklavya to him. He walked to us.
“ All set?” he asked, resting his hand on my shoulder, and I nodded.
“ Yes, I ’ m excited to go to the Ganguar festival,” I lied. He smiled before turning to Eklavya.
“ And you, the gift?” he asked. Eklavya smiled and nodded. “ Yes, Ranaji, all set.”
“ Remember, no blunders, no fights, no actions—just information,” he reminded us. He was aware of our concerns about a war approaching our doorstep. Eklavya and I shared a quick glance before nodding in acknowledgment.
"Yes, Bhaisa,"
"Yes, Ranaji,"
He inhaled deeply, looking at both of us. "If anything happens to any of you. I will make you both alive and kill you with my own hands," He threatened with love, and I nodded silently.
“ Come here,” he hugged both of us and patted the back of my neck. “ All the best! And , also try to spend some time with your would-be wife,” he said, and I inhaled deeply.
“ What will I do after the wedding, then? There ’ s plenty of time to enjoy,” I said, and he gave me a dissatisfied look, which made me smile. “ Fine… I will,”
He nodded, and I looked at the attendees, taking the needful things to the convoy waiting at the main entrance of the Kingdom.
“ We should leave now,” I said, and we both walked toward our horses ’ stable to begin our journey to Mehrangarh. Rudra Bhaisa saw us off.
The journey was long, as Mehrangarh was a kingdom near the Him Ranges, but just a few miles from the east-northern border of Hind.
It took us a whole day to get there. Since we weren ’ t traveling with any women, we didn ’ t put up any tents and spent the night under the trees.
When we entered the Kingdom of Mehrangarh, the sun was shining brightly. Seeing everyone waiting for us at the door, I felt a twinge of guilt because so much had changed since my last visit.
At my special request, I arranged my marriage alliance with the Princess of Mehrangarh through Rudra Bhaisa. Everyone, except for Rudra Bhaisa, thought that I loved the Princess, so I decided to marry her.
But the reality was completely different, even beyond Rudra Bhaisa ’ s imagination.
I told him I would keep an eye on the borders with Mehrangarh ’ s help, but little did he know it was nothing closer to my plans.
“ Pranam Rajasa ,” I smiled, joining my hands as I looked at the old King of Mehrangarh welcoming us. “ Kunwar ,”
he said, embracing me in a loose hug and patting my shoulder. “ How was your journey?” he inquired, and I tried to put a wide smile on my face as I responded.
“ It was fantastic. I really missed you and your hospitality,” I attempted to smile, and he chuckled softly.
“ We ’ re glad you ’ re here; come on in,” he said, welcoming me into the vast Kingdom of Mehrangarh. The thick red brick walls of Mehrangarh contrasted with the main palaces, which were made of white imported marble.
Mehrangarh was a kingdom renowned for its remarkable connections to the outside world. There were rumors, possibly truths, that individuals from other continents had visited. They also possessed trade secrets.
And I was looking for one of them.
Actually, Two.
“ How ’ s everything going?” I asked politely, and he smiled while placing his hand on my shoulder.
“ Everything is good, and Princess is maturing faster,” he replied while I made an effort to remain calm despite his words.
Well, Princess Mehrangarh was the youngest of Mehrangarh ’ s seven older sisters and two brothers, all of whom were already married and well settled. However, her disinterest in marriage had worried the King. He believed she hadn ’ t matured with mind.
“ That ’ s good to hear,” I said, and he suggested, “ You should meet her. We ’ ll arrange for your lunch in her meeting area.” I nodded and spent some time with them before heading off to her chamber.
The princess and I got along well as future husband and wife. We were friends. As I passed through the galleries, I observed the soldiers standing outside her chamber.
"I wish to see her," I exclaimed, and they opened the door for me.
I stepped inside and noticed the silence in her chamber. As I walked past the large compound, I entered the meeting area. The beautiful decorations caught my eye, and I saw her sitting on the couch, waiting for me.
“ Rashmika,” I called, and she lifted her head to look at me.
“ !” she squealed, getting up from her couch and running toward me. “ I was waiting for you for so long,”
I glanced around at her attendees watching us. She noticed my gaze and turned to look at them.
"Um, bring something for him to eat," she said. I watched some of her attendees leave, but not all of them.
"Can you leave us alone?" I asked, looking at the male soldiers on duty.
They walked out, leaving us alone, and I glanced at Rashmika, who was looking at me with an adorable expression.
I smiled, moving my hand back to take out the letter. Her lips widened into a smile, and she reached out her hand to take it.
I immediately pulled my hand back.
“ Ayeeee, please. I ’ m dying for this!” she pleaded, her sweet voice bringing an ear-to-ear smile to my face. I handed her the letter.
As she sat on the couch to read it, her eyes brimmed with tears that streamed down her cheeks. A wide smile lingered on her lips.
“ Is everything okay?” I asked, and she looked at me, smiling and nodding. “ Yes, yes!”
I smiled back, sitting beside her.
She finished the letter, rolled it, and pulled it to her heart before asking, “ How are you?” Her voice made me lower my gaze, and I intertwined my fingers and shook my head.
“ Something happened,” I stated, and she took my hand in hers and questioned me. "What?" I lifted my gaze to meet hers.
“ Since you ’ re going to be my wife, I think you should know that…” I gulped nervously.
“ What?”
“ Um, three weeks ago, I found out that one of our attendees was taken captive for self-demolition following her husband ’ s death,”
“ Oh,” she said with wide eyes.
“ You saved her, right?” she asked, and I nodded again. "I did, but... to protect her, I had to pretend... that I am marrying her and...,"
“ Ohhh,” she looked at me with widened even more.
“ You married her?” she asked, and I opened my mouth to explain.
“ Not entirely… I mean, I applied my blood... in the parting of her hair so her people wouldn ’ t burn her alive, giving her a chance to live,” she stared at me in shock, and I waited blankly for her response.
She shifted her gaze from me, gulping nervously. “ You know... none of our kingdoms can find out about this,”
I nodded and palmed my face. “ I really didn ’ t have an option, Rashmika. Nothing else came to mind,” I tried to explain.
“ So, that means I am going to be your second wife…?” she asked, and I bit my lips nervously and confusedly.
“ Our alliance was arranged first, but the ritual happened with her first... I don ’ t know who is first and who is second,” I said, and she chuckled.
I chuckled after her.
“ Wow, you are lucky. You ’ re going to have two people in your life,” she said, giving me a side-eye.
"And not someone real," I added, looking down with a deep inhale, remembering how my life would be until I die in some war or battle. Empty.
She smiled at me and caressed my hand.
“ I hope you ’ re not angry about it,” I asked, and she shook her head.
“ I ’ m glad you saved her. How is she doing? Is she alright after that?” she asked, and I clicked my tongue and shook my head. “ Not really. I think she ’ s having nightmares, and she ’ s not smiling like she used to," I said, and she immediately responded, "Ohhhhhhh, smiling? You ’ re noticing her?" She teased, and I shook my head.
“ I don ’ t have to pay attention to her. She ’ s always around. She ’ s close to Bhabhisa. I ’ ve seen her for the past four years, standing next to her. They ’ re good friends,” I added, and she rested her head on my shoulder.
“ You need to look after her,” she said, and I shook my head.
“ I can ’ t. Everything will go wrong. I can ’ t ruin us,” I said, and she smiled at me. “ You know we can ’ t be ruined,”
I chuckled and nodded.
"Yes, I know that," I smiled.
When the door opened, I saw the attendees walking in with lunch plates. They set the lunch before us, and I turned to her.
“ I ’ m starving,” I said, and she looked at me, slightly furrowing her brows.
“ So, what's her name?” A subtle smile that I didn ’ t understand appeared on my face.
“ I wouldn ’ t know.” I tried to explain, “ I never asked,” but she looked at me in disbelief.
“ Didn ’ t you hear anyone call her name?” she asked, and I frowned.
“ Where ’ s the jealousy? Act like you ’ re going to be my wife,” I teased, and she chuckled, nudging me. “ You wish.”
I laughed a little, focusing on my lunch.
After meeting Rashmika, I left the Mehrangarh Castle with Eklavya. We climbed the mountain to see what was happening on the other side.
“ I don ’ t understand how we will get the black stone for the same powder?” Eklavya asked as I pushed aside the tall, wild grass to take another step forward.
“ The soil of Mehrangarh has black stones underneath, and they have been exporting that for many years with no one ’ s knowledge. How did a small princely state become so wealthy under the same king ’ s rule in five decades, especially without support?” I explained.
The forest was dense, and we both wanted to get through it before sunset; otherwise, we wouldn ’ t make it back.
“ I believe they ’ re hiding something important,” Eklavya said, and I looked at him.
“ Not just one thing, but many. They are exploiting the mountain ranges, and Mehrangarh is the kingdom from where people hear that something is wrong with the borders and that someone is trying to attack us,” I said.
He lowered his gaze for a moment before saying, “ That could mean two things: either they are completely right, or they are using this to distract attention from themselves,” he said, and I nodded.
“ Yes, I believe there may also be a third possibility.”
“ What?” he asked.
I took a deep breath, moving the grass aside and climbing higher up the mountain. “ Mehrangarh has allied with them and is reinforcing their position. If any attack occurs, it will probably be closest to the enemies. This could endanger all the northern Hind. They haven ’ t always been this friendly toward us,” I said. He immediately replied, “ We should inform Ranaji about this.”
I quickly whiffed. “ No, we can ’ t. Ranisa is pregnant, and we ’ re still recovering from our year-old debts and destruction. He would want to handle the situation with war, which would put everything at stake. Once there ’ s a slight rift between us, Mehrangarh will become alert. They should think we ’ re foolish about everything,” I explained.
“ But how can we, just the two of us, stop it?” he asked, and I smiled at him. “ Just wait and see.”
The sun ’ s rays struck our eyes as we continued climbing and discussing everything. It took us a long time, and the sun was nearly down to the horizon when we finally sat at the peak of the tall mountain. I extended my hand, and Eklavya handed me the glasses that allowed me to see objects clearly, even from a distance.
Because of the changing weather, my breathing had become heavier, so I stretched the long tube with the lens to my eyes, keeping one closed. Everything blurred momentarily, and then I focused on the translucent image of black tents spread over acres of land. My heart raced, and I looked at Eklavya.
I quickly placed the lens back in front of my eyes, and the view swept the mountain beneath my feet. “ Fuck! Motherfuckers!” The curses slipped out unintentionally, and I heard Eklavya ask, “ What happened? Is everything alright?” I glanced at him and handed him the golden object.
He held it up to his eyes.
“ It ’ s huge,” he remarked, and I nodded. “ Not just huge, but really close to us,” I said, noticing his face pale. “ We have little time. We should tell Ranaji about this,” he insisted, but I shook my head. “ No, he will be a father in a few days. I can ’ t do that,” I said, returning the object and looking again. The tents were enormous, and something caught my eye.
“ I don ’ t understand one thing. There are three powerful kingdoms in southern Hind and many princely states, all linked by Bhaisa and King Abhinandan ’ s efforts over the last three years. We have over two hundred thousand soldiers and resources, while they only have about fifty thousand. They will wear out from all this traveling, and our soldiers will be ready to take their hearts out. Why are they even trying?” I said, and suddenly Eklavya chimed in, “ Or maybe there ’ s a bigger picture we ’ re missing.”
I lowered the lens and looked at him. “ Like Mehrangarh as their ally?” I shook my head slowly. “ Mehrangarh is rich in wealth, but they lack powerful leaders. Soldiers don ’ t kill kings; kings kill kings,” I asserted, and we both stared at each other in contemplation.
Suddenly, something struck me.
“ Explosives.” My heart raced, and I stared at him in disbelief. “ Eklavya, Mehrangarh is going to help that army with that powder. That ’ s why they have piles of that black and yellow stone and soil; the powder burns differently. It creates sparks and turns flames blue and dark orange,” I explained, and he furrowed his brow.
“ But how can that spark kill someone? I mean, how is it different from real fire?” he asked, and I shook my head. “ That ’ s the one thing I don ’ t know. We need to figure out what they are making and how. Otherwise, we ’ re done for,” I replied, and he nodded.
“ But right now, we should head back. It ’ s getting dark,” he said. I glanced at the sky, which was slowly turning a deeper shade of dark blue, adorned with layers of twinkling stars. “ We won ’ t make it in time. It ’ s far,” I replied, as he touched my shoulder. “ There ’ s a temple nearby. We should wait there,” he suggested, and we both began walking down the mountain. The trees surrounded us; it was dark, and the scent of wet soil filled the air. The sounds of insects and lurking predators echoed not far away.
“ There,” Eklavya said, and I looked at the small cave carved into the mountain. We both quickened our pace toward it. By the time we entered the cave, it had grown intensely dark.
Thankfully, fire torches illuminated the space, and we inhaled deeply, trying to fight the dropping temperature as we walked deeper inside.
A priest sat with long, dried locks of hair cascading to the floor. He faced away from us, and I watched him chant prayers to the Shivlinga .
“ Pranam, pandit ji,” I intoned, joining my hands and lowering myself to sit behind him alongside Eklavya, bending our heads to touch our foreheads to the ground in the holy embrace of Mahadev .
Silence lingered until he completed his chant and slowly turned to us. While his face may not have been friendly, his aura was comforting. I could feel the depth of his spirituality and devotion.
"Rah bhatak gaye ho," “ Lost your way,” he said, and I gulped nervously as I struggled to respond. “ Um, no, but it ’ s dark now, so we are searching for a place to spend the night,”
He shook his head and looked at me with an intense gaze.
“ Nahi, tum jeevan ki rah bhatak gaye ho,” “ No, you have lost your way of life,” he said, and I felt a slight shiver run down my spine.
I tried to ask, "What do you mean?"
He blinked silently for a moment before replying, “ Stop running.” I blinked, confused, waiting for his next word. “ Stop running from your past; it ’ s haunting your future,” he said, and I shook my head slowly, lowering my gaze. Now, I understood what he was implying.
“ I can ’ t. The fear has occupied so much space within me that nothing else can coexist,” I replied, and he chuckled.
“ Redo the calculations, child.” His words didn ’ t quite make sense to me. But I nodded.
I didn ’ t understand why; the memory of her sitting before me that night flashed through my mind. Silent. Hopeless. Scared. Then came the memory of her tied to that pyre, on the verge of being burned.
" Panditji ," I called, gazing at him as he raised his eyes to meet mine—a faint smile on his lips.
“ I want to ask you something,” I said, speaking low, and he nodded. “ A few weeks ago, I did…” I shared everything that happened with her, and his smile grew unexpectedly. “ And now she ’ s scared. She ’ s having nightmares. Can you help me with something? Like a mantra or anything?” I asked, and he extended his hand. I looked at his palm in confusion.
“ Your hand,” he said.
I shifted closer and offered it. He touched my wrist and untied the thick black thread I wore. I did not know how long it had been there. Every year on Shivratri , my Bhaisa would replace it with a new one. He told me my mother tied it around my wrist when I was born. Everyone believes it protects me from harm because when my mother died, I fell weak and struggled to survive. That was another reason my brothers loved me to the moon.
He untied the thread and held it in his hand, chanting some prayers before placing it back in my palm. "Tie it around her left arm. It should remain covered," he instructed, and I nodded. "Okay,"
I looked at Eklavya, sitting in disbelief.
Rolling my eyes at him, I looked back at Pandit Ji . “ You both can rest there,” he said, pointing toward the inner part of the cave. We both touched his feet before walking away to sit in the corner.
“ You could ’ ve asked if we would win or not, but no, you asked how to get rid of her nightmares. Seriously?” Eklavya said, giving me an intense look.
The jealousy was visible on his face.
“ Winning or losing depends on our actions, and she needs help,” I replied, and he mimicked me. “ She needs help.”
I immediately kicked him in the leg, causing him to fall to the floor. “ Ahh, I need to rest,” he groaned, and I lay down on the floor as well, keeping the thread-safe in my possession.
We both woke up and received Panditji ’ s blessings before starting our journey again.
On our way back to Mehrangarh, I realized I had done something foolish.
“ Ugh, yesterday was the Ganguar festival. We had to be back on time,” I said, looking at Eklavya with irritation. He glanced at me. “ What? I ’ m not getting married,” he replied.
I inhaled deeply and said, “ But you could have reminded me. Bhaisa will kill me if he ever finds out,” he smiled and replied.
“ Then keep it to yourself. He will not find out about this huge thing either.” I landed another punch on his back, causing him to growl in pain. “ You should stop punching me,” he stated, and I chuckled.
After returning to Mehrangarh, I tried explaining to everyone that I had visited a temple and was late. I felt sorry, but they shot me a hundred different glares. Rashmika ’ s father was especially unhappy.
After meeting Rashmika one more time, I left Mehrangarh. I returned to Suryagarh, leaving Eklavya as Rashmika ’ s bodyguard.
When I arrived, it was past midnight. I went straight into my chamber without making too much noise.
"Welcome back, Kunwarsa," an attendant greeted me, and I nodded.
"Thank you," I replied, undoing my overcoat and shoes and finally breathing.
Home is home.
Sitting on the couch, I closed my eyes. My mind and heart still couldn ’ t accept what I had witnessed.
Everything was at stake, not just one kingdom but all the northern Indira. I exhaled deeply and heard the attendant ask, "Shall we bring your dinner?" I nodded, and she left.
I quickly took a bath and changed into a loose, long loincloth. I needed to devise a plan, so I searched the library for the latest map we had for Indira. After clearing the table of everything, I spread out the map.
I needed to think. I had to act. My eyes searched for the locations that would be the least populated in the coming months. My mind raced to determine where Mehrangarh could conceal it—and what, exactly?
Suddenly, I heard someone clear her throat. I glanced at her momentarily as she stood at the library ’ s door, her fingers nervously intertwined.
She wore dark green attire and a dupatta on her head, either end falling on the sides and tucked on the side of her waist. Her braid forward, snaking along her curves.
I gulped, unable to let aside the moment she fisted her hands on my chest, pulling me closer like she owned me. Her every breath remained imprinted on my mind. I had never heard anyone ’ s heartbeats so clearly before.
“ Your dinner.” She pulled me out of my thoughts, and I couldn ’ t help but chuckle.
“ Not in the mood today,” I replied, and she frowned in confusion.
“ But you asked for dinner,” she said innocently, and I looked at her, nodding. “ Yes, I asked for dinner, not dinner .” My gaze could not stop watching her tip-to-toe.
She inhaled deeply, shrinking, and I could see the tension and confusion on her face. The library ’ s lighting was dim, casting a soft glow from the fire torches and oil lamp onto her face. She was beautiful, but her gaze was confused as she blinked at me, standing silently.
I broke the eye contact, mentally shaking my head to stop soaking in her face.
"Your dinner—not dinner —is waiting outside," she said. A smirk lingered on my face.
Wild.
She had never talked to me like that before. We had been around each other but never conversed like this. There was a palpable tension between us.
For example, I was half naked, and she wasn ’ t moving her gaze away.
I walked around the table, leaning against it and crossing my arms.
"Have you been fired from your position as a head maid by Bhabhisa?" I asked, her gaze shifting to confusion. I was aware of her nervousness.
Shaking her head, she replied, "No, why?"
I lowered my gaze and stepped closer. Slowly.
"Why are you awake this late? You should be resting. You shouldn ’ t be here," I pointed, and she tilted her head slightly to meet my eyes as I stood before her.
“ I understand. However, I must handle all of Nandani ’ s responsibilities as the Queen. Since she is busy being pregnant, I need to manage everything. You ’ re her family, and as your sister-in-law and queen, she should look after your meals, but she is pregnant. Fortunately,” she blabbered, and I nodded, absorbing her words.
"But you could have sent someone else with the dinner," I reminded her.
She lowered her gaze, and her beetroot pink lips fell silent.
"Are you trying to accuse me of something?" she asked, lifting her bold gaze to meet mine, and a smile appeared on my face.
"Like what?" I countered.
She rolled her eyes and fell silent, stepping back and shaking her head.
"I should go," she said, taking a few steps away.
I immediately called out, “ Suno,” “ Hey,”
She turned back, her striking eyes flashing with anger. "Ji," her voice showed how badly she was affected.
"Come here," I said, but she shook her head. "I will send someone else," and said before walking out of the library.