2
He wrapped his hand around me, reminding me of the time he accidentally threw color at me during Holi. The thought of his family finding out numbed me. What had just happened?
He picked me up and stood tall. “ She is dead to you all now. Never try to look for her,” he stated, stepping back and mounting me onto his horse. He quickly settled in behind me, and I turned to see the soldiers trailing him as we rode off. The din of the crowd diminished as the horse galloped faster.
I looked at my white clothes stained with his blood and his hands adorned with the engagement ring. It was only six months until his wedding, and I had ruined everything for him.
A strange tension was building between us, as I didn ’ t know where he was taking me.
We bounced on the horse, feeling his chest hit my back. I felt vulnerable. I tried to maintain distance.
But he tugged the horse ’ s reins with one hand and wrapped the other to keep me from falling.
I sat in silence, stunned.
Once we reached a spot far from the horror, he dismounted and helped me down. He glanced away momentarily, checking if anyone followed.
I wiped a tear off my cheeks and looked around—a small river winding through the woods. The sun was setting, casting an orange and red glow across the sky.
“ Come with me,” he ordered, walking into the forest while holding his horse ’ s reins and walking him along.
My feet froze. Being alone with a prince felt too heavy on my shoulders, especially since he was to be married in six months. I couldn ’ t torture his image. My gaze scanned the surroundings, considering all the possibilities I might face alone with him.
But I didn ’ t have any choice. Clenching my trembling fingers, I followed him quietly. The scent of mud was strong after the rain. The trees had a different shade of green, reminding me of his eyes.
I shook my head.
"Suno,"
“ Hey,” he shouted, and I looked at him. He stood a few meters from the river, and I stopped a meter away from him. “ You should clean yourself. No one can know about this or what happened today,” he exclaimed, and I understood. “ Ji,”
“ I ’ ll get you a pair of clothes. Just wait for me here,” he added, stepping away. I grabbed his wrist, looked at him with tear-filled eyes, and shook my head. He held my wrist back, pulling his hand away. “ It ’ s okay; nothing will happen. Just stay here,”
I cried, forcing. “ No, please, don ’ t leave me alone.” He inhaled deeply. “ Fine, I ’ m here,”
I strolled towards the river. The sound of running water weakened my knees as I approached closer. At that moment, everything seemed capable of killing me. Kneeling, I leaned forward to cup the water in my hands. And, noticing the dried trail of blood in the partition of my hair, I froze.
I was his wife now.
No! He only did it to protect me. It was just the need of the moment.
I closed my eyes and splashed water onto my face. Once, twice, thrice, until the last drop of his blood was washed away, along with my hands and feet. Afterward, I returned to the spot where he had been waiting for me, and suddenly, he grabbed my wrist.
My eyes widened with shock.
“ Come with me,” he said, scorching my grazing wrist. The touch felt a little uneasy. However, my soul didn ’ t seem to mind. I knew he was protecting me, so it shouldn ’ t feel wrong.
“ How did you find out about me?” I hesitated, questioning, “ I mean, why did you come here?” as we walked through the mazes of the trees. The dusk was darkening.
“ I read the letter you received. We make copies of all letters that arrive in Suryagarh and keep them for safety reasons. While searching for a letter in that copy, I came across yours, which mentioned that your husband has died and that you are being summoned. You didn ’ t share everything with Bhabhisa, which made her worry about you afterward. While speaking with Bhabhisa, I learned about your tribe ’ s custom of burning wives with their deceased husbands. So, I came here and saved you. However, I didn ’ t know that your people could be so wild and that the entire village would come to slaughter me.”
He turned to me, adding, “ No one can know what happened there—not what transpired between us. I did that only to protect you; now you are completely safe. You can live your life as you did before. I won ’ t bother you, okay?” in a serious tone, and I nodded slowly. “ Ji, thank you so much for saving me, but you didn ’ t have to do that. I ’ m just a maid, Kunwarsa,” I couldn ’ t stop myself.
“ I would have done the same for anyone in your position. Don ’ t think of yourself as special,” he replied dryly, leaving my hand in front of a small cottage. “ Come inside,” he said, pushing the door open and stepping inside.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as soon as I noticed the darkness in the cottage.
“ What is this place?” I asked, hiding my fear. “ You don ’ t need to know.” He responded curtly.
Yes… of course!
Stepping inside, I felt the dirt beneath my feet. But the cottage had a strange warmth. No one had visited here in years. The dim light streaming in through the small hollow in the wall fell on the dry leaves, a small trunk, and a few earthen pots in the corner.
He walked over to the trunk, and I paced back in fear. I didn ’ t know where we were, and the mere thought of someone discovering us together felt worse than death.
The air was thick, making me uncertain about how to confront him in the Kingdom when we returned. Plus, Nandani would inundate me with questions and interrogate me.
“ Here,” his voice caught my attention. He handed me a pair of maroon attire. It was used, but I didn ’ t dare ask to whom it belonged and muttered, “ Thank you.”
“ You can ’ t go back to the Kingdom wearing these.” He gazed at my white clothes. “ Bhabhisa will worry, and I don ’ t want to add to her stress right now. She ’ s already suffering, and knowing what happened might impact her health,” he explained, and I nodded, swallowing quietly.
His Bhabhisa was the queen of Suryagarh and was never arrogant toward anyone. She had always regarded me as her best friend, and she was currently unwell because of her pregnancy. That ’ s why I couldn ’ t tell her everything.
“ I know, Kunwarsa, and please don ’ t worry. I won ’ t tell anyone about what happened. I understand you did that to protect me, and I can ’ t even think of myself as your wif…” My heart came to my mouth as he cocked his brow, “ I mean, that position in my dreams. Everyone is so happy about your wedding that they should never know about it. I hope we can both forget this day and continue our lives as they were,” I said uncontrollably, unwelcome tears streaming down my cheeks.
“ And thank you so much for saving me,” I added, “ I don ’ t know how I can repay you in this life. You didn ’ t even think of yourself before doing that. I mean nothing to you; I ’ m no one. We haven ’ t even spoken once, yet you came to rescue me. I will pray to God that you receive everything you desire in this world,” with a trembling voice.
He stepped closer, and I immediately lowered my gaze and stepped back. But as he placed his hand on my head, I halted. The gentle weight, screaming protection, forced my lashes together. “ It ’ s okay. I can ’ t stand seeing any woman suffer through that. Try to forget it as a terrible memory.” His following words, “ I can ’ t bring your husband back, but time will heal everything,” made me chuckle.
More tears streamed down my face as I shook my head. “ Even if you could bring my husband back, I would never want that,” I exclaimed, adding, “ I need to change.”
He pulled his hand back and nodded, “ I am standing outside.”
He paced out of the cottage and closed the door behind me.
My chest felt heavy as I lowered my gaze to the white attire stained with his blood. I still couldn ’ t process what had happened. The memories of the flames, the smoke, the cries, the screams, and the blood weakened my knees, and I tried to calm myself down, closing my eyes, fisting my hands.
I would never forget that, nor would I forget the debt he owed me.
Stripping the dupatta and opening my blouse and skirt, I stood naked. My long braid hung low to my hips; the burnt ends poking against my skin. I wore the pair he gave me—the plain maroon one. After putting it on, I neatly placed the dupatta over my head and said, ”Andar aa sakte hai ab aap,"
“ You can come in now,” glancing around.
But when he didn ’ t respond, even after a short while, tension thickened my blood and quickened my heartbeat. “ Kunwar Agastya,” I called again, clenching my dupatta. I stepped toward the door when he still didn ’ t answer. “ Kunwarsa,” I cried out. Intense fear coursed through me, making my knees shake. It was getting dark; I didn ’ t know where I was, and now he wasn ’ t responding. “ Please reply, Kunwarsa,” my voice trembled with fear as I cautiously approached the door.
“ Kunwarsa,” I called again, pulling the door open. The creaking of the old wood sent a strong shiver down my spine. My heart raced wildly, and my breathing grew heavier than my eyes searched for him.
I stepped outside, looking around. With growing darkness, I could hardly see anything. The sounds of insects and the rustling of dry leaves stirred by the wind sent goosebumps. A profound silence surrounded me; I felt a storm raging inside. Tears filled my eyes as I moved further, calling out to him. "Kunwarsa, where are you?"
I clenched my hand tightly around my skirt and looked around. My steps were small and fearful. When I didn ’ t find him, I burst into cries. “ Kunwarsa,” I called again.
Suddenly, a faint sound of footsteps rustling against the dry leaves, cracking the broken stems, approaching from afar, alarmed my ear. I spun to see him walking toward me.
I rushed in his direction.
Before processing anything, I moved closer, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. “ I thought I ’ d lost you,” my voice trembled. Tears fell like a river.
He placed his hand on my head. “ I just went to wash up in the river and pick some fruit,” he explained, and I tightened my fist against his back even more.
My entire body shook. What if someone had taken me from here? I wasn ’ t afraid of death, but the thought of being burned alive wouldn ’ t leave my mind.
“ Hey, hey, calm down. Everything is okay; you ’ re safe,” he said, nuzzling me away.
I nervously wiped my tears, looking at him. “ You should have at least told me,”
“ I told you to wait for me there. You didn ’ t listen,” he stated aguishly, and I immediately stepped back.
He was the prince; I shouldn ’ t have hugged him like that. What was I even thinking?
“ I ’ m sorry, I really am sorry,” I said, taking a few more steps away before walking back toward the cottage with him, keeping my distance.
We both entered the cottage. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed his wet hair and his reasonably clean clothes. He had taken a bath.
“ I got this for you to eat,” he said, handing me two apples. I took them with trembling fingers and asked, “ Do we need to stay here for the night?”
He sat on the floor, resting his back against the wall and nodding. “ We don ’ t have any options. My horse needs rest, too, and the dense forest covers the path. It ’ s not safe to travel at night,” he explained in a tired tone. I lowered myself to the floor and wrapped my dupatta around me as snugly as possible.
I didn't know, but I couldn't accept that he had married me. It meant he was my husband now. No... Nooo!
“ Aren ’ t you going to miss your husband?” he asked, catching my attention and biting into an apple.
I gulped slightly, shaking my head. “ No,”
He lowered his gaze to his lap for a moment. “ Why?” The black soldier attire made of leather, adorned with long strings tied over his broad chest, caught my attention. I noticed a drop of blood on the silver fasteners. It must have come from my forehead after he… did that.
I took a deep breath, looking down at my fidgeting fingers. “ He never considered me his wife,” I said.
"How long had you been married?”
I blinked silently, momentarily. The weight was burdening. "Eight years," I said.
“ How old are you? You look so young,” he seemed shocked, inquiring.
“ Twenty-three.”
He inhaled deeply. “ You got married at sixteen,”
I nodded, ashamed. “ Yes, and the irony is I was excited to get married,”
“ Why?” he asked.
“ Because everyone told me I would get a new home after the wedding, that there would be someone to take care of me and all the dreamy things,” I murmured, taking another bite of the apple.
“ What went wrong then?” he asked, chewing on his apple.
I gulped, taking a pause. "Everything,"
He nodded.
My heart felt heavy under the weight of old memories. Those nights when I ’ d scream, and he wouldn ’ t stop. The days when I ’ d look for a place to hide so he wouldn ’ t grab me. Memories of his intoxicated state, in which he would hit and mock me in front of his friends, allowing them to touch me inappropriately to prove how unattractive I was.
“ Do you have any... children?” he asked, gazing at me.
I timidly lowered my gaze and shook my head. “ No, not my own,” I said, biting my lower lip.
He asked. “ Then who are these lent ones?”
A smile dared to appear on my face. “ Teenagers of my late husband and his late wives,”
He raised his brows with a smile. “ Wives?”
I nodded. “ Three.”
"All dead?" he asked, and I nodded.
"Interesting man," his smile broadened, adding after a brief pause, “ I ’ m glad he ’ s dead.”
A soft chuckle escaped my lips.
“ That ’ s why you didn ’ t like him.” He asked.
I shook my head, gazing at him and replying, “ I didn ’ t have any issues with the past, but he was with me for only three months before leaving for another woman, claiming that I am not good… I mean, he said… there ’ s something wrong with me… that I ’ m not a… good… woman for a man.” The last few words came out hesitantly, and he exhaled deeply, looking away.
“ Sorry…can ’ t relate. I was born a man,” he spoke, causing me to lower my gaze. Of course, he was a man. A True Man.
There was a long pause, and suddenly, he asked in a soft voice, "So, you haven ’ t been... touched... I mean... for the last sev-,”
I gulped, shaking my head, lowering my gaze, feeling warmth in my cheeks and mousiness. This conversation didn ’ t seem normal at all.
“ And you never wanted to...? I mean...” he paused, curiosity clear in his voice, and I shook my head in response.
“ Married women are not allowed to...”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “ Then you haven ’ t met many,” he said.
I hadn ’ t. But his words twisted my stomach, and I looked at him.
“ You ’ re getting married in just six months…you should stop meeting so many women now. Women appreciate loyalty.” I couldn ’ t stop myself from saying.
His eyes darkened.
I felt fear run deep in my bones. A soft nod followed by him, “ Don ’ t worry, you ’ ll never come in many.” His words crushed my gut. I immediately shook my head, “ I didn ’ t mean th—”
“ And I don ’ t have much experience with women,” he cut me off, pulling out a golden-brown sheathed dagger from behind him, “ It has...”
A shiver ran down my spine. “ You ’ ve killed women!”
He chuckled softly, lying on the floor, covering his face with a small cotton cloth, and adding, “ Let me know if you ever want to get killed too. I ’ ll gladly assert my rights.”
I furrowed my brows, unable to comprehend what he meant. Why would I ask him to kill me when he had just saved me? I ignored him, lay in my corner, covered myself with my dupatta, and tried to fall asleep.
I woke up with chilling shivers coursing through my body and in the same place. My gaze immediately found him gone, racing my heart.
Standing up and placing the dupatta over my head, I approached the door. But before I could even touch it, it pushed open, revealing his towering figure.
I instinctively stepped back, watching him lower his head to enter the cottage.
“ Where did you go?” I asked, unaware of my loud voice. He furrowed his brows, looked down at the floor as if searching for something, and then spoke.
"Sirf praan bachane ke liye maang bhari thi, patni nahi ho hamari." “ I only filled your parting to save you; you are not my wife,” his voice was dry, and I immediately covered.
“ I know, I know, Kunwarsa. I just got scared of being alone. I ’ m sorry.”
“ Come on, let ’ s go. I ’ ve arranged a small palanquin for you and a few soldiers to escort you safely back to the Kingdom. I ’ ll come later, and remember, nothing happened between us. My marriage is important, and I can ’ t afford any mistakes,” he said.
I immediately looked away and protested. “ I ’ m just a maid, Kunwarsa. There was no need to arrange a palanquin and soldiers for someone like me.”
He stepped closer, and I quickly stepped back with wide eyes.
"Humse behas mat karo... jitna kaha hai utna karo." “ Don ’ t argue with me… just do what I say,” he ordered threateningly, and I immediately shook my head.
“ No, I will not go with the palanquin and soldiers. People will notice something is wrong. Just show me the way to Suryagarh out of this forest, and I ’ ll manage on my own,” I said, stepping forward to walk past him, but he stopped me by saying.
“ Fine,” I looked back at him. Your tribe will burn you once they find you alone. Didn ’ t you hear? To stay alive, we must pretend to be married.” His words brought back memories of yesterday, and I clenched my hand to calm my racing heart.
I didn ’ t understand what was wrong with my life because every time I felt like things couldn ’ t get any worse, I found myself in an even worse situation.
And now this. But it was only for today. Once we entered the kingdom, he wouldn ’ t see me, and I wouldn ’ t see him. I inhaled deeply, nodding in agreement. “ Okay.” then quietly followed him. I glanced at his hand, tightly clutching the dagger he had used to take so many women ’ s lives.
What kind of man kills so many women yet saved me? He could have let me go; no one would have known who was, but he saved me. He fought for me, earned scars, and married me to protect me. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. He was a prince; saving me was nothing for him. There was nothing between us, and there would be nothing. I just need to let it go.
After a while, we reached the palanquin, and I noticed two soldiers on horseback standing beside it. I sat in the carriage silently and heard him say, “ Take her to Suryagarh, and don ’ t let anyone know about this, especially Bhaisa.”
As soon as he mentioned Ranaji, a wave of fear washed over me. He would surely kill me if he found out that his brother was married to save me.
As the lifters elevated the palanquin, I swiftly closed my eyes to soothe my racing thoughts. We progressed, and soon, we reached the borders of Suryagarh.
“ You can come out now,” I heard Kunwarsa ’ s voice before I lowered my feet to stand. I stole a glance when he scanned our surroundings for safety, and he muttered, “ You ’ re safe from here. Go inside the Kingdom and tell any story you like, but don ’ t mention th—”
“ I know, I know. Don ’ t worry so much; I understand you don ’ t want your name associated with mine, and I don ’ t want my name linked to yours, either.” Meeting his intense gaze, I replied, “ I ’ ve had enough of one.”
He shot me a glare. I overspoke again. “ I ’ m sorry.”
It was all because of Nandani. Thanks to her kindness and my responsibility for managing hundreds of attendees, I had become loose with my tongue. I should stay within my limits with him.
He walked away, and I took a deep breath of peace. My gaze fell upon the massive walls of the Kingdom that had changed my life in every way. A smile lingered on my face.
Suryagarh.
While the Kingdom itself may not have changed my life exactly, the Queen of this Kingdom, Nandani, took a garbage like me and transformed me into the jewel she proudly calls her best friend.
From the start, she had always supported me, particularly when my in-laws disowned me and my parents refused to accept me again, leaving me feeling completely alone.
She had been my best friend and had changed my life more than I ever imagined. From learning to read and write with her to expressing my thoughts to becoming the head maid of the Suryagarh—she entrusted me with so much.
She shared her secrets, and I shared my loyalty in exchange.
But this.
I couldn ’ t tell her this.
It would complicate everything. It meant nothing. He only did that to protect me. In his eyes, I was merely an extra, like a king ’ s spoils of war. The only difference was that I would never expect him to check on me.
Why would he even check on me? And why the hell was I thinking about all this?
I entered the kingdom and approached Queen Nandani ’ s chamber above the servants ’ quarters. The basement and first floor housed her attendees, maids, and servants, with designated rooms for each. Attendees accessed the chambers from the back rather than the front.
Upon entering her chamber, I found her resting alongside the attendees. Her eyes were closed, and she exhaled deeply, caressing her baby belly.
“ How are you now, Nandani?” I asked, planting a broad smile on my face.
She opened her eyes, her face tightening with concern.
“ Where have you been? I was so worried about you,” she asked as I sat before her and took the bowl from the hand of an attendee to massage her swollen feet.
“ You should be more concerned about your baby, Nandani,” I reminded her, and she foot-nudged me, prompting me to smile instantly.
“ Only my baby? Nothing yours? Don ’ t you remember we talked about this earlier? You are my children ’ s Maasima,” she said, and I nodded, laughing a little.
Not just Maasima...
I quickly pushed those thoughts aside as she asked, “ Is everything fine at your home now?”
I nodded.
“ How ’ s your mother now?” she asked, and I smiled weakly.
“ Better.” She knew nothing about what happened, and I didn ’ t know the real reason before I left either. My parents sent me a letter telling me my mother was sick.
“ You look upset, ,” she pointed out. Greasing the oil on my palms, I touched her feet, shaking my head.
“ No, I ’ m just tired from traveling,” I replied, and she immediately pulled her feet back.
“ You don ’ t have to do that; just take a break,” she said, and I smiled at her.
“ I ’ m alright, Nandani. You should rest,” I said.
Suddenly, she shivered and cried out in pain. “ Aah,” she rolled her eyes, and I chuckled softly.
“ The baby kicked again?” I asked.
She nodded. “ Yes, the baby is driving me crazy. He keeps kicking me even when his mother is resting, sleeping, or you-know-what—”
“ Bhabhisaaaa!” Kunwarsa ’ s excited voice cut her off. I froze, daring not to pull away, and lowered my gaze to her feet, hiding myself as if I could.
“ Deversa,” Nandani screamed with joy. I felt his footsteps approaching us.
“ I brought you a ton of raw mangoes and the special pickle you asked for,” he said, setting an enormous basket in front of her.
Her eyes widened with surprise. “ Oh, my God!”
She immediately grabbed a mango from the basket, but before she could bring it closer to her mouth, I snatched it. “ No,"
He glared at me, and I gulped nervously. “ After washing and slicing, I ’ ll bring you some,” I said to Nandani, standing up and walking toward the kitchen.
I heard Nandani ’ s faint laugh. My primary responsibility was to ensure her health and food quality. Ranaji wouldn ’ t hesitate to punish me if she ate anything wrong. Reaching the royal kitchen, I asked a few attendees to bring two bowls of water, then grabbed a clean plate and knife to take to her chambers.
When I reached back, I noticed Princess Aishwarya sitting there with them, too. They were playing ludo, laughing together.
Nandani ’ s pregnancy has been critical from the beginning, and the physicians have strongly advised her to avoid any kind of stress. However, as the Queen of a kingdom perpetually caught in wars and turmoil, she felt powerless. I sat beside her.
She looked at him and said, “ I ’ ve also placed your pieces.”
I shook my head with a smile, “ I ’ m not playing.”
“ I ’ m not playing either, Bhabhisa; I have some work to attend to,” Kunwarsa said.
Nandani glanced at me, and Princess Aishwarya looked at him.
“ What? You called me to play Devarsa, and now you can ’ t back out,” Princess Aishwarya said to him. I silently grabbed a few mangoes from the basket to wash them in the bowl.
“ I ’ m slicing mangoes for you,” I said innocently. Nandani insisted, patting my knee, “ We can wait for you. “
I shook my head. “ No, no, please, go ahead; I have other things to take care of,” I said, slicing mangoes for them, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. He stared back at me.
My heart sunk into my gut.
"Aap Bina bataye kaha chale gae the? Devarsa,"
“ Where did you go without telling us?” Princess Aishwarya asked, smiling, looking at Kunwarsa.
He rolled the dice, palming it between while replying. “ Nowhere, just for a hunt,”
I passed the plate to them. Nandani takes a slice from it.
“ Oh, you mean to meet a girl?” Nandani laughed at him. A smirk appeared on his face.
"Patani kya Samajh Rakha hai aap Sabne hume,"
“ I don ’ t know what you all think of me,” He said, moving his piece forward.
“ We can ’ t help it, given that you ’ ve turned down so many girls for this one,” Princess Aishwarya said with a soft laugh.
He bit his lower lip, a blush tinting his cheek. I couldn ’ t look away from the dagger beside him. He would definitely kill me someday.
I feel it to my bones, mainly how I spoke before him, and he glared at me.
After slicing the mangoes for them, I stood up to do some work. I entered her bedroom and, along with the other attendees, began smoothing her bedsheets and couches.
Serving as the head attendant to the Queen of a kingdom involves numerous responsibilities and a high level of accountability. My day typically begins with bathing and preparing for the day, often before she wakes up. However, as her due date approaches and we anticipate the baby ’ s arrival soon, things have become even more hectic.
After getting ready, I updated the attendees on her bath, clothing, breakfast, and everything else she would need. When quicker-than-expected results were necessary, I occasionally handled that work instead.
However, my responsibilities have increased lately because Ranaji relies solely on me for her food and belongings. Occasionally, I have to cook for her myself.
Honestly, I love it.