Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Saylor
T he sky was gray, and the rain had been coming down steadily all afternoon. Marshall was installing cabinet doors in the kitchen.
I decided to work in the living room. After several hours of work, I set my laptop aside for a few minutes, stretching my back. I used the powder room in the hallway, and when I came out, Hayden was waiting for me.
Pensive, she asked, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure," I said, following her into her bedroom. I hadn't been in here since her and Marshall moved in, respecting her privacy.
The bed was rumpled, her cell phone and a notebook were on the nightstand. The curtains were drawn today, the room dark.
Hayden closed the door behind me, and I wondered why she'd need to talk to me privately.
"What's going on?" I asked, pulling out the wooden chair from the desk to sit.
Hayden remained standing. "I need to go shopping."
I blinked. "Your father won't take you?"
Her eyes darted away, and she said softly, "I need feminine products."
My eyes widened as I took in that information. "Oh. Is this your first time?"
Hayden shook her head. "No, but I've never had to deal with this while living with my dad."
Because she'd never technically lived with her father before. "You want to go with me to the store so you can pick out what you need?"
"Yeah, but can you tell Dad I'm tagging along with you? That way he won't ask too many questions."
"I don't like lying to your father." The idea made me uncomfortable, but I understood being embarrassed about this topic when talking to your father.
"Please," Hayden implored, and I couldn't say no. It was a fairly innocent request designed to avoid embarrassment.
I could relate to that. "If he asks me for specifics, I'll have to tell him the truth."
Hayden sighed. "Okay."
"You need to go now?" I asked, needing a break from staring at the laptop anyway.
She nodded. "Yeah."
"Okay, I'll get ready." I stood and tucked her chair under the desk.
On the way out the door, I stopped in the kitchen where Marshall stood on a small ladder installing the upper cabinet doors. He'd gone with white for the top cabinets. "I'm going to the store, and Hayden asked if she could tag along."
"Yeah, okay," Marshall said absentmindedly, his attention on the door in front of him.
I breathed a sigh of relief. "We won't be gone long."
He glanced over at me then. "Can you pick up fish or something we can grill later? Maybe some macaroni or potato salad?"
"Of course."
"I'm hoping to get these installed today," Marshall said, his face one of concentration and determination.
"They look great. Are you sure we can't reimburse you for the costs of the paint and your time?"
He shook his head. "Nah. This is my thank-you to Blaire for letting us stay here."
Hayden appeared in the doorway. "We're leaving."
"See you later," Marshall said as we walked out.
Outside, Hayden asked, "He wasn’t curious about what we were doing?"
"He was focused on the cabinets." It wasn't like I was taking her to buy alcohol or cigarettes. This was an innocent errand. One I wouldn't hide from Marshall if he asked me about it.
"Thanks for doing this," she said as we got into my vehicle.
"You don't think your dad can handle you asking for pads or tampons?" I asked, curious about their relationship.
Her face tight, she said, "I mean—we've never talked about it. I don't know if my mom warned him about it."
From her expression, I took it she hoped that she hadn't. "I don't mind helping you out. But it wouldn't hurt to talk to him about this stuff. I bet he can handle more than you think."
"He wasn't around a lot. I only saw him a few times a year when he was on leave. But we used to send letters and later emails where we talked about everything: what was happening in school, my frustrations with my mother. I loved being able to talk to him."
I glanced over at her. "Did you stop sending them at some point?"
She chewed her lip. "In the last year."
Her transition to becoming a teenager… I bet it had a chilling effect on their relationship. "He probably loved hearing from you."
"Yeah, but talking to him in person is different. I don't know if he understands what I'm going through."
"He's trying to understand." I chewed my lip, wondering if I should tell her his secret. Thinking it could help, I said, "He's reading a book on teen girls and development."
"Really?" Hayden asked.
"Yup."
"That's kind of cool."
"He wants to connect with you, and he's worried that it's too late. He's wondering if he should have left the military sooner."
Hayden was silent for a few minutes. "Why does he think that?"
"Because you were different when he came home this time. You didn't want to spend time with him. It's perfectly normal, but he's worried that he messed up with you."
"What if he goes back to the military or takes a job far away?" Hayden asked carefully.
"Have you talked to him about your concerns?" I asked her, turning onto the main road that went through the island.
"No."
"Maybe you should. Something tells me he'd welcome this conversation."
"I don't know." She looked out the window at the dreary weather.
The traffic was light, so I arrived at the island store in no time.
It was located on the second floor of a shopping center filled with palm trees, greenery, and large cages of parrots.
Usually, I'd take my time, and visit with the parrots, but today, I wanted to get out of the rain, so we hurried to the covered second floor.
I grabbed the items that I'd seen Marshall buy over the last few weeks: fruits, veggies, yogurt, milk, and eggs. I stopped in the bread aisle to get rolls for my sandwiches, and we finally made our way to the fish counter. "What do you like?"
"White fish," Hayden said simply so I placed an order for flounder and grouper, not exactly sure which one was Marshall's favorite. Then Hayden chose potato salad from the offerings in the deli section.
Satisfied that we had food covered, I steered us into the feminine products aisle. "Do you know what you want?"
Hayden quickly found the packages she wanted and set them in my cart.
"Do you need anything else? A pain reliever, heating pad?"
She shook her head. "I have everything else."
"Let's check out and head home.” Our groceries were put on a conveyor belt, and we picked them up on the first floor of the parking garage on the way out. It was a nice service when it was raining.
On the drive home, Hayden looked out the window at the rain which was coming down harder now.
"One of the girls at the senior center wants to hang out tonight. Do you think Dad will let me?"
"That's a question for your father, don't you think?" I couldn't run interference for her. She needed to learn how to communicate with him. I wouldn't always be living with them.
I tried not to think about how nice it was to take Hayden to the store, getting her input on dinner, and then ensuring she had everything she needed to take care of herself. I never thought about what it would be like to be a mother, but it was nice.
"I guess."
We carried the plastic bags inside, setting them on the counter.
Marshall was done with the upper cabinets and stretched his back. "What do you think?"
"It looks nice," Hayden said, and we were both surprised that she'd said something positive. She tended to be negative.
"You like the white?" Marshall asked her, and my heart contracted watching them interact.
I set the bag with her things in it in her bedroom, and when I returned, they were discussing the color for the island. Marshall put a few paint swatches on the counter for Hayden to consider.
I put away the rest of the groceries, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.
"We could do blue, a darker navy, a lighter coastal blue which is nice for a beach cottage, gray, or white like the other cabinets," Marshall said.
"I like the coastal blue." Then Hayden looked at me. "Do you think Blaire will like it?"
"She'll love it," I said confidently.
"Coastal blue it is," Marshall said, and I could tell he was pleased that Hayden had taken an interest in the decision.
The cottage already had beach-related decor with seashells, anchors, and sailboat knickknacks and pictures. The white and blue would go nicely with the rest of the house.
Hayden chewed on her lip. "One of the girls from the senior center invited me over tonight."
"Which one?"
"Suzie Newman."
"Now?" Marshall asked, probably disappointed that he'd made a brief connection with her, and now she wanted to leave.
"Yeah, there's nothing to do since it's raining out anyway."
Marshall's forehead creased. "Will a parent be home?"
"She said her mom is home all day, but you can talk to her when you drop me off."
I appreciated that she'd offer a solution to ease her father's concern.
"I'll wash up, then take you over."
Hayden smiled, and I could tell that it wasn't something Marshall had seen a lot of lately. "Thanks, Dad." Then she hugged him, and after a second hesitation, his arms came around her. Then she turned on her heel, disappearing down the hallway to her room to get ready.
He looked at me. "I was hoping we could do a game night or something since it's raining."
I shrugged. "You wanted her to make friends here."
Marshall sighed. "I didn't think that through. It means she'll spend more time away from the house."
"I think it's a good first step. She talked to you about the paint, and now she's making friends with some of the kids who live here."
He nodded. "If she's happy here, then things will be better."
"You're more likely to make connections with her," I agreed.
"Did she need something at the store that I didn't think to buy?" Marshall asked, a crease between his eyebrows. He had been worried about her.
"She asked me to take her to buy feminine products.”
Marshall's shoulders tensed. "I should have thought about that, asked her if she needed anything."
"She would have been embarrassed if you had. I took a picture of the package for the ones she prefers. I'll text it to you. You can ensure that her bathroom is stocked from now on."
Marshall let out a breath. "Thank you for doing that. As much as I want to be involved with everything, she probably felt more comfortable talking to you about it."
I smiled. "She'll appreciate it if you keep her cabinet stocked with what she needs."
Hayden appeared in the doorway.
"You ready to go?" Marshall asked, and I was struck again by how good of a dad he was.
Hayden nodded eagerly.
"I'll be back to cook dinner," Marshall said to me.
They disappeared out the door, and I felt good about helping Marshall and Hayden. I was here for a reason, and if I could edge him closer to connecting with this daughter, than I'd fulfilled my purpose. I wasn't supposed to be lusting after him, not when his daughter lived here too.
I cleaned up the kitchen so that Marshall could cook when he got home and then took a bath. It was the perfect afternoon to indulge in one. The upstairs bathroom had a free-standing tub, and I'd been dying to try it out.
It was a new addition to that bathroom that didn't exist when I was younger. The tub was situated in front of the window. I lit a few candles to give the room ambiance and kept the overhead lights off. I slipped out of my clothes, adding lavender bath salts to the running water.
I stepped into the tub, relaxing into the warm water. I had a book and my phone, but I closed my eyes, reliving the events of the day, and relaxing.
I heard Marshall return, then the close of the front door and him rummaging around in the kitchen. I should get out and help, but he only needed to season, then grill the fish. The potato salad was premade. I could relax for a bit longer.
I didn't have anywhere to go, and this bath was heavenly. I must have drifted off because when the door opened, I startled.
Marshall stood in the entryway, blinking at me as if he was confused. "The door was unlocked. I thought I’d jump in the shower before we ate."
I straightened, then remembered I was naked, and slumped back down. "I wanted to take a bath before dinner."
"It's ready." Marshall remained frozen.
I hadn't added bubbles to the bath, so it was possible he was getting an eyeful. "If you give me a minute, I can get out of your way so you can take that shower."
"Right. Of course." He finally snapped out of his reverie and disappeared into his room.
I took a steadying breath and stepped out of the tub, grabbing a soft towel.
I let out the water in the tub, gathered my hair on top of my head, and secured it with a second towel.
Then I grabbed my things. "I'm locking the door to my room, so the bathroom's yours. "
"Thanks," he croaked from the other side of the bathroom door.
I practically raced into my room, not minding the chill of the air. My body was already overheated, wondering what he'd seen when he walked in. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten to lock his side of the door. But I'd gotten into the tub when he was gone, and I assumed he'd stay downstairs to cook.
I hadn't anticipated him needing a shower. I dried off as the water for the shower clicked on. My face was warm as I thought about what he could see in the bath water. We'd promised we wouldn't run into each other in the bathroom again.
We needed to respect each other's space, and I wasn't doing a good job of that.