Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Marshall
I 'd walked into the bathroom, assuming no one was in there. The light had been off, and I hadn't heard the water running. Candlelight flickered against the wall, and the only sound was the rain pounding on the roof.
It took me too long to understand what I was seeing. I'd expected an empty bathroom, but instead, Saylor was naked in the tub, and there weren't any bubbles to block my view.
Her breasts were full, and her nipples hard. My brain had short circuited, and it was difficult to think, much less move.
It was like time had been suspended. My heart was pounding, heat pouring through my body, my fingers tingling with the desire to join her. To touch her, kiss her. To be with her.
It would be so easy. There was no one here but the two of us, and she was already naked.
When she'd mentioned getting out of the tub so I could shower, I'd come to my senses and got out of there. Alone in my bedroom, I berated myself for thinking about my roommate that way.
I'd seen her naked when we were teens plenty of times, but she'd definitely filled out since. She was a woman now, and I wanted to explore her body all over again. I wanted to get reacquainted with her, to discover all the amazing ways she'd changed.
When she called through the door that the bathroom was available, I wanted to ask her to stay. I wanted to take a shower with her. I wanted to soap her body and suck one of those nipples into my mouth.
Instead, I took note of the locked door that led to her bedroom and ran a cold shower, trying not to inhale the smell of lavender, the scent I'd always associate with her from now on.
I showered as quickly as I could and then got out, blowing out the candles.
I got dressed and headed downstairs, hoping she wouldn't ask me if I was looking at her naked body in the water. I wouldn't have a good answer for her.
She'd be appalled if she knew what I was thinking. It was so out of bounds for our arrangement that she'd have every right to kick me and Hayden out of the house.
I thought I was a gentleman, but confronted with a certain set of circumstances, I apparently lost all sense of reason and control.
Saylor had already set the table. I placed the covered fish platter in the center of the kitchen table we almost never used, preferring to sit at the counter or outside by the pool.
"How did it go with Hayden's friend?" Saylor asked, placing a serving spoon in the potato salad.
I carefully uncovered the fish, trying to figure out what she was talking about because I was fixated on how I’d walked into the bathroom and found her naked in the tub. Right, Hayden was with a friend. "It was fine. Her mother was there."
"You can trust Hayden," she said carefully, as if she was afraid of overstepping.
"It's hard to pull back on those protective instincts, especially as she gets older. What if boys come over?"
"She's still young yet," Saylor said, a smile curving her lips.
"She'll be dating before I know it." I served her fish that fell apart, just how I liked it.
"Oh, I think you'll see that coming and will be able to adjust." Saylor appeared to be amused by my comments.
I shuddered, not wanting to think about Hayden dating. "I wanted her to make girl friends here."
"And she is. Mission accomplished," Saylor said as she spooned potato salad onto her plate.
But Hayden wasn't in the house, which is how I ended up walking in on Saylor in the bathroom. Would we be able to steer clear of each other while Hayden was gone? Would I be able to rein in my baser instincts?
The voice in my head reminded me that I'd already dated Saylor. It wouldn't be a big deal to start something up again. It wouldn't have to mean anything.
But even I knew that was a lie. This thing with Saylor had always been bigger than anything else I'd ever experienced.
"I'm sorry about earlier—" Saylor's cheeks were flushed. "I wasn't thinking about you coming home and needing to use the restroom upstairs."
"It was my fault. I should have knocked." Every time, no matter whether the lights were off or not.
"It was on me. I should have locked your door."
"It wasn't a big deal." It was a huge deal. I got an eyeful of her breasts that I'd never forget.
"Yeah?" Saylor asked, and I realized my mistake. I was sending her the message that I hadn't cared to see her naked.
"I mean, it's obviously a big deal. You were naked in the tub." Why was I stumbling over my words? I hadn't felt this awkward since I was a teenager taking a girl to a dance for the first time. I should be a lot suaver than this.
Saylor looked up at me, her expression vulnerable. "You were able to see?"
"I should have looked away." I didn't have any regrets.
Her cheeks flushed pink.
"I was surprised, and then I couldn't seem to figure out what was going on. The bathroom was supposed to be empty, but it smelled like lavender, and you were—" A goddess in that tub, one I wanted to explore.
It was wrong, entirely inappropriate. My mind should only be on my daughter, not my enticing roommate.
Saylor sighed. "This is harder than I thought it was going to be."
I wanted to know if she thought that because we shared a bathroom, or it was something more than that.
Did she want me too? Did she remember how things used to be and want to see if we still had some of that chemistry?
"We have to remember to lock doors and knock before we enter.
Maybe I should switch bedrooms with Hayden.
" Hayden would hate that, but it would put a floor between us, and we wouldn't be sharing a bathroom anymore.
"I think we can do this. We just have to be more careful."
But what about what was going on in my head? I wanted to make a move on Saylor. I wasn't in the right place to be even thinking about starting any kind of relationship with a woman, physical or otherwise. I had my daughter to think about, my future, a job and a career, fixing things with my family.
"I should talk to my parents about going over there for family dinner soon. I've stayed away long enough."
"That's a good idea. Are you going to talk to them about working there again?"
"I'll have to feel things out. But I can't avoid it forever."
"No, you can't. I think the longer you wait to confront them about it, the harder it will be. They'll make assumptions that you don't want to work with them."
That didn't sit right with me. I wanted to return to my place in the company, but I wasn't sure that was possible. Could my brothers and my father depend on me to stick around? I wanted to prove to them that I would. But Hayden lived in Naples. Would they assume I would leave again?
We finished eating, and I sat back in my chair. "The fish was good."
"Hayden asked for white fish."
"I missed eating fresh-caught fish. I miss so many things about living here."
"It's a wonderful break from my life." Then Saylor stood. "I'll clean since you cooked."
"You don't have to do that."
Saylor just gave me a look as she stacked the plates and took them to the sink. She carefully rinsed them, placing each one in the dishwasher. Then she packed up the leftovers and put them into the fridge.
The rain had slowed. "You want to have a fire tonight? I stored some wood in the shed, so we have dry timber."
Saylor smiled. "Why not?"
Outside the clouds had cleared, revealing a sky filled with stars.
The waves crashed in the distance, and we could hear the occasional laugh or bark of a dog from walkers on the beach.
But we were nestled in the palm trees that surrounded the cottage.
The fire pit was close to the pool, surrounded by chairs.
I grabbed the wood from the shed and arranged it in the pit while Saylor grabbed a towel to clean off the chairs.
Once the fire was burning, I sat next to her.
It was the perfect night. I didn't have to do anything or be anywhere until Hayden wanted to come home. I checked my phone, but there weren't any messages. "You think she's okay?"
"If I remember how it was being a teen, they could be practicing how to put makeup on each other or flipping through magazines—" I gave her a look, and she laughed. "Okay, searching for outfits online. Is that better?"
"More realistic. At least she hasn't asked to go to a mall." I shuddered just thinking about the possibilities of her getting into trouble.
"Give it time," Saylor said with a small smile. "I would think parenting at this age is giving them enough independence so that they feel free yet measuring their safety at every turn."
I nodded, feeling seen. "It's a balancing act."
"You're doing a good job."
"I hope so." I tipped my head back to consider the vast expanse of stars.
"Are you getting any help from her mother?"
"Not really. My impression was that she's done her part, and it's my turn this summer. As much as I'd like to ask for advice, I kind of want to figure it out on my own."
"That's kind of nice actually."
We fell silent, listening to the waves and watching the stars. Fireflies came out as the sky darkened, and it felt like we were in our own little jar of lightning bugs.
"I kind of want to stay here forever," Saylor said.
"Maybe you can," I offered selfishly, not looking forward to her leaving at the end of summer. Everything felt lighter and easier with her here. She was helping me with Hayden more than she knew.
She gave me a look. "You know why I can't."
I hated thinking about the end of my time here. "I have to find a place to live, talk to my family about working for them again. I probably need to start my house search."
Saylor clasped her hands together. "Searching for houses is so fun."
"Have you done it before?" Maybe she had owned her apartment with her boyfriend. Or considered the next step of buying a place with him.
Her nose scrunched. "I watch it on TV. Those house-hunter shows are fun."
"I don't know what will be available here though. It's expensive since it's a tourist area. But I have some money saved. I basically only used it for Hayden the last thirteen years. I wanted to be financially secure so I could take care of her."
"That was smart."
"And I never owned a home. We move every two or three years, and it only makes sense if you live with your family."
"Have you thought about making any changes to Hayden's living situation with you and Billie?"
"I can see her more often throughout the year now.
Maybe we should draw up a more formal agreement and discuss the possibility of joint custody.
" I never asked for any role over the years, other than to visit whenever I was able and unlimited phone and email access.
That was mainly limited by my circumstances.
"I saved the letters and emails she sent over the years. They serve as a journal."
"You could have them bound together for her. Her letters and your responses. It could be electronic or even published. How amazing would that be?"
A tingle ran through my body. I liked the idea of memorializing our relationship. It made it mean more somehow. All those letters. I did have a role as her father. I should celebrate it. "That would be kind of nice. I'll have to look into it."
Saylor smiled. "Your future is unwritten. You have so many possibilities."
"I guess you're right."
"You live on an island. How amazing is that? Your family owns a successful business that I'm sure you can work in again. Your daughter lives close enough to visit with a short drive. I'm excited for you."
When had anyone ever evaluated my life and said they were excited for me? Maybe my mother? But it had been a long time. Since I left, I'd cut myself off from everyone. I needed to mend those bridges and fast, before it was a permanent rift.
Saylor hit play on a song, turning the volume down so that it was soft background noise. Then she stood and offered her hand to me. "Would you like to dance?"
I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather do. I put my hand in hers. "Sure."
I stood, and she drew me into the space between the fire pit and the pool. I held her hand to my chest, my free one on her hip, and we swayed to the music.
I enjoyed the feel of her body pressed against mine, wondering if she could feel my heart racing.
I wanted so much more than a dance under the stars. I wanted to reconnect with Saylor, the girl I used to know, and get to know the one she was now. Would she welcome me into her life?
"This is nice. Thank you for being here.
" My heart was overflowing with gratitude for what my life had become.
So far, leaving the military had been a good decision at a pivotal time in my daughter's life.
But it happened to be the same summer that my ex returned to the island.
Was there a reason for that, or was it merely a coincidence?
We both stopped moving, gazing into each other's eyes. Should I kiss her?
She licked her lips, and I moved my hand from her hip to the side of her face, and her cheek pressed into my palm.
It was the perfect time to kiss her. I lowered my lips to hers, wondering if she'd feel the same as she had before. Or if things would be different.
My lips pressed against hers in a butterfly-level kiss, soft, testing her response. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled back, keeping one hand on her cheek as I used the other to open my phone. "Hayden wants me to come get her."
Saylor stepped back, and I wasn't sure what she was thinking from her expression. Did she regret the kiss or the interruption?
Either way, it didn't matter because Hayden came first.
Saylor smiled reassuringly. "I'll clean up and wait for the fire to burn out."
"Thanks," I said as I moved away from her, wondering if I was making a mistake leaving in this moment. Hayden was my priority. She was the reason I'd left the military, and I wanted to be here for her in moments like this. Hayden needed me. I didn't have a choice.