Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Marshall
" Y ou're just going to let her go?" Hudson asked me as he concentrated on the patties on the grill.
"I don't have a choice. Her life is in Jacksonville. Mine is here for the foreseeable future."
"I'm not suggesting that you move away from Hayden. Not when you just got here. But did you ask Saylor to stay?"
"I couldn't do that. Her career is important to her, and she lost everything when she broke things off with her cheating ex, her apartment and her friends."
Have you even told her how you feel?" Hudson prodded.
I sighed. "I don't want to influence her. I want it to be her idea."
Hudson gave me a look. "I think you're making a mistake."
"This has to come from her."
"What's wrong with putting it all out there? Letting her know how you feel and allowing her to make that decision?" He easily flipped the patties.
My chest felt tight, even thinking about telling her. I didn't want to hold her back or influence her decision to leave or stay. "That doesn't feel like the right move."
Hudson sighed heavily. "You're not used to sharing your emotions, are you? You bottled everything up for years, and now when you need to tell someone how you feel, you can't do it."
Irritation clawed at my throat. "That's not it."
Hudson’s lips quirked. "Isn't it?"
Dad approached. "Are the burgers ready? The guests are getting hungry."
Hudson arched a brow. "You mean you're getting hungry?"
"You know it," Dad said with a grin.
Hudson nodded toward the kitchen. "Almost done."
"We're sure going to miss having Hayden around so much," Dad said to me.
"We feel the same way," Hudson said, referring to him and Elena. "I think the women like having a teenager that they can help with style and makeup."
"I hope we'll be seeing her more often throughout the school year," Dad said. "It would make your mother very happy."
"That's my hope. I still need to talk to her mother when I drop her off. But I'm certain we can work something out. Hayden's going to miss this place too."
Dad inclined his head toward Saylor, who sat with the girls, their chairs arranged in a circle. "What about your girl?"
I stiffened. "How do you know she's my girl?"
"I can tell by the way you look at her, as if you never want to let her out of your sight."
"She's going home tomorrow too," I said, my jaw tight.
Dad clasped my shoulder. "Don't stand by and let life happen to you. You create the life you want."
Was that true? Could I have everything I wanted? "I'd want Hayden with me all the time, and that isn't possible. We can't have everything we want."
"What if you could have most of it though? You're home with us, and you could see Hayden and Saylor more often."
"We'll have to see what happens," I said, hoping he'd let it go.
"Burgers are ready," Hudson called out, and Dad clapped his hands.
"Perfect timing." Dad wandered over to the grill and took the platter of cooked patties, setting them on the table.
I stepped back, allowing everyone to crowd around to get whatever they wanted. It was hard to be here when Hayden and Saylor were leaving. It didn't feel like a celebration.
I kept what Dad said in my head, turning it over. Could I have something close to what I wanted? At least when it came to Hayden? I'd love to see her more often, but she'd get back into her fall schedule and be busy with school friends and events. Where did I fit in?
I didn’t want to interfere in her life any more than I wanted to in Saylor's.
Hayden had expressed dismay at leaving the island, but that was normal.
When she returned to Naples, she'd realize why she loved her life there, and she'd forget about the island.
Besides, she could visit for holidays and summers.
I was going to miss the girls in my life, but I wouldn't hold them back. I just wanted to be part of them.
The party passed quickly without any more mention of Hayden or Saylor staying on the island. But I felt the weight of my conversations with Hudson and Dad. Their words stayed with me, but I didn't want to tell Saylor how I felt.
Instead, back at the cottage, I said goodnight to Hayden, then met Saylor in her bedroom where she was pulling on pajamas.
I was desperate for her, needing to be with her on a soul-deep level.
I closed and locked her door, crossing the room to hold her close.
I breathed in her lavender scent, memorizing it.
Soon, all I'd have was the memory of her here, and the lingering smell of her in the bathroom. Eventually it would fade. The thought sent sharp pains through my chest.
Saylor turned in my arms. "I'm going to miss you."
"Me too," I admitted.
Her fingers played with the hair at the base of my neck. "I can't believe I'm leaving the island again. It feels different this time."
She didn't say the words, but I suspected she meant that it was more final. There wasn't as much hope for the future. We weren't kids anymore. Our decisions held weight, and sometimes they were final. There was no turning back or the possibility of second chances.
I could have offered platitudes. Jacksonville wasn't that far from Sanibel. She could always visit. But those suggestions felt hollow. It wasn't the same as living with the person you were falling in love with.
There was an intimacy to being roommates, one we couldn't replicate living on opposite sides of the state.
"I don't want to think about tomorrow." I kissed her, the sudden movement had her lips opening on a gasp, and I took advantage, sweeping into her mouth, possessing her one last time.
I wanted to memorize every whimper, logging every sigh. I wanted to memorize her reactions, cataloging them so I could bring them to mind when I was alone in this house. I wanted to recall each one with accuracy.
Her hands lifted my shirt, and I helped her pull it off. Then she was shoving my shorts down along with my briefs. I was naked, my cock standing at attention between us. "You're wearing too many clothes."
She took her time removing hers, almost as if she knew this would be our last time together. Tomorrow morning would be a whirlwind, ensuring that Hayden had all her stuff, was packed, and ready to go.
When Saylor stood before me naked, I drew in a sharp breath. She was gorgeous. I turned off the overhead light so that there was nothing but the moon illuminating her skin, and the sound of the waves through the open slider called out to us.
She dropped down to the bed, propping her head on the pillows and spreading her legs for me. I fisted my cock at the sight of her pussy.
She curled her finger. "Come here."
I was helpless to say no, dropping a knee to the bed and moving between her legs. I was supposed to savor this moment, taste her one more time, but I was desperate to be inside her after that little strip tease.
I lined my cock up with her entrance and slid inside. It felt like coming home. The love for her poured out of me and into her. But I couldn't say any of the words out loud. It wasn't the right time.
She had to come to me. She had to tell me how she felt. Only then would I share that I felt the same way. I still wasn't sure where her head was at, probably back in Jacksonville, reclaiming the life she'd left behind.
I braced my forearms on either side of her head, interlacing my fingers with hers.
Then I began to move, slowly and deliberately through her slick channel.
Nothing had ever felt like this before. I was overwhelmed with the emotions bubbling to the surface.
I was in love with this woman, probably had been since we were eighteen, and I was letting her go again.
It might not be the right decision, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to push her into something. She'd just come out of a serious relationship where the man had cheated on her.
She wasn’t ready for something deep and lasting. Or at least, that's what I told myself as my brain warred with my body. Did she know how I felt? Did she feel the same?
She grabbed my neck and pulled my mouth down to hers, blocking out the worries. All that mattered was being here in her arms one last time.
I moved slowly, building us up with each pass. I ground my pelvis against her clit, needing her to feel the same level of intensity that I did.
When she stiffened, I increased my thrusts, needing her to go over first. Then she cried out my name, and I memorized the cadence on her lips.
I never wanted to forget this moment.
She trembled and shook beneath me when I thrust one more time deep, wishing this was the beginning of our future together, not the end.
We were destined to be pulled apart, never to meet at the right time. I breathed through the crushing knowledge of that.
I rolled to the side, and she followed me, draping her body over mine. Her cheek was pressed against my chest just above my heart, which was still racing out of control.
"I'm going to miss you," she repeated.
"It's going to suck." I couldn't think of a nicer way to say it. This entire situation was awful. Tomorrow, I'd say goodbye to my daughter and the love of my life. It couldn't get any worse than that.