13. Chapter Thirteen – Lily
Lily
The ride back to the hotel is electric, the air between us sizzling with static. Not only because of what happened on that Ferris wheel, but also because we've hurried to catch one of the rush hour trains, and it's packed with people.
For the whole ride, I am pressed against Adam, my back against his front, his hand protective at my hip and sparks flying whenever I'm pressed against him in a curve, until we finally arrive at our station. I hate that he has to let me go, but boy, am I happy to get out of that train.
The way he keeps looking at me in a way that makes me blush and the way his hand brushes against my arm during our wordless walk back—both of us know exactly where tonight is going.
To his room, I suppose.
Was it really that easy ?
Well, the hard part is coming at the end of this conference, I guess. The part where I need to draw the line to protect my career. The part where we go our separate ways.
But that’s future me’s problem. Present me is antsy, way too eager to get to the hotel to waste a thought about the future.
But just as we walk around the last corner to our hotel, my phone starts buzzing and humming in my handbag with my work ringtone. Groaning, I stop in my tracks and take it out, shooting Adam an apologetic look.
When I look up, I'm met with an understanding gaze from him. "Room 413," he whispers in my ear, his breath on my neck sending a cold shiver down my spine, and then walks right on ahead. My eyes linger on his back as he walks through the entrance doors, meeting his gaze when he turns to the elevators, and even from the distance, I can see him shooting me a wink. God, this man. He's going to be the death of me.
Then my gaze returns to my phone, my heart pounding incessantly as I stare at Kayla’s name for two more rings before I answer.
I take a deep breath and shake my head, trying to shrug off the enchantment this man has on me before I answer her call.
"Hey, Kayla. What's up?"
"Lily!" she shouts, sounding surprisingly happy to hear me. And this is the exact moment when the trance of this evening falls off. God, suddenly I feel like a teenager sneaking out of my parents’ house to go to a secret party .
I’m still going to do it anyways, but now I feel bad about not telling them.
"How's Tokyo?" Kayla asks and I take another deep breath.
Don't panic, Lily. They might have shit timing, but they don’t know anything. No need to feel like I’ve been caught in the act. Everything is going to be fine.
"It's warm," I tell her with a slight chuckle and clear my throat when my voice comes out in a croak. "But the conference is very informative. What's going on with you?"
"Nothing much," she says, but I can hear the deceit in her voice. Somewhere behind, I can hear rustling and then Millie's voice in the background, accompanied by a male chuckle, from her fiancée I presume.
"Why would you call me when the two of you are on a double date?" I ask her teasingly, knowing fully well that Asher, her boyfriend, can’t be far. She chuckles nervously, and I know I’m right. My leg is bouncing, eager to get into the hotel, so I start pacing in front of the entrance.
"It’s not a double date. We’re just hanging out at home," she says, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
She wants something. I'm not sure what yet, but there's no way she would call me just to randomly check in about this conference. It seemed too unimportant to her for that.
“Get to the point,” I demand with a chuckle and brace myself for what’s about to come. “Please tell me it doesn’t involve any of you four beating up paparazzi or something. ”
“As tempting as that is, no. Don’t worry,” she assures me quickly and my shoulders sag in relief. “We kind of want to go on tour."
“Oh. Alright," I say surprised and make a mental note of it. Where did that come from? I mean, it’s not a big deal to set up a tour, but it means I’ll have to call a few meetings once I'm back, with marketing, with sales, with finances, and all that jazz. Although, I’m a bit confused why this couldn’t wait until I’m back. "Should be doable. Do you have certain cities in mind?"
"That's the thing," she replies, nervously clearing her throat. "We kind of want to keep it low-key. Like, not arenas." I raise my eyebrow as she continues to explain. "So, we might have come up with this idea when we were a bit drunk," she admits, and I pinch the bridge of my nose, swallowing a sigh and instead leaning my head back to look at the sky. Just then, a raindrop hits me on the forehead and I roll my eyes. "And we thought it would be nice to do a tour for fans who were there from day one, you know."
“That’s-” I start, but I don’t even know how to finish that sentence. What I know is that what she’s proposing leads to one hell of a lot more work than a regular tour.
"You're not happy with it," Kayla says, like she’s reading my mind. I shoot a longing gaze at the hotel, knowing exactly that Adam is waiting for me .
But instead, I take a deep breath and continue pacing in front of the entrance as I try to gather my thoughts. Did they really have to plan an ambush like that right now?
"Don't get me wrong, Kayla. I love the idea," I say, racking my brain as to how I could best convince them otherwise. It’s not even a lie; in theory, I love this idea.
But… How can I say this delicately, without hurting their feelings? "But tours are a lot of work, as you know. And they are expensive. Especially when we're doing everything ourselves, which I'm assuming you want?"
"Definitely," she quickly assures me. "Hold on, I'm going to put you on speaker."
"Hi, Lily." I grin at the choir of voices on the phone and shake my head at the four of them. They're a lovely bunch, and I'm happy to consider them not only my bosses but also my friends, which leads me to the following.
"Hi, everyone.” I clear my throat before I continue. “I just want to clarify we're having this conversation as co-workers, not friends."
"Of course," they quickly assure me. Sometimes, it's difficult to separate these two relationships, but whenever we have to give each other bad news, a sentence like this is our go-to.
"We can definitely dissect this idea once I’m back, but I want to share some concerns for you to consider for when we do, alright?" I can hear shuffling on the other end of the line, and I think Millie is hitting her fiancé with a pillow from the sounds of it.
"I just mentioned it to Kayla: Tours are expensive. There's a lot of work for every single person involved, and there are a lot of people involved, especially with your level of fame. There’s the jet, security, hotels, even more security, the venues, the printers, and all of them need to get paid. If we do shows at the level you're thinking, we are not going to break even unless you want each ticket to cost a thousand dollars, which would kind of defeat the purpose."
"Would that be such a bad thing, though?" Millie asks, adorably confused. I roll my eyes, happy that they didn't call me on FaceTime and can't see my expression.
"For you, maybe," I point out, knowing very well how much they are making and sure that they have more than enough money in their bank accounts. To them, paying all of this out of pocket would not be so much different than getting a new coffee machine.
"But we have a company and all of your other artists to think about here. Doing a tour that the company can’t afford wouldn’t be fair to them. You might be the owners, but if you don’t lead by example, it might leave a sour taste in their mouths."
"Hm," Kayla sighs, and I can just picture her disappointed expression in my mind. "You know, Lily, I hate it when you're the voice of reason."
"And I hate being the voice of reason," I assure her quickly. "But that’s literally what you hired me for, so suck it up, buttercup.” The two of them burst into giggles, and I just know they’re not sober anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got the idea literally seconds before they pulled up my contact in their phone.
“As I said, I love the idea. Let's keep it in the back of our minds and brainstorm on it when I'm back, alright? Maybe we can find a compromise. I’ll sleep on it, you’ll sleep on it, most important of all, you’ll sleep off the alcohol, and then we'll have a more extensive talk about it when I get back."
"You're such an adult," Millie scolds me lovingly and I hear the pout in her voice, making me laugh. "And you're even younger than us. Seriously, it's kind of weird."
Kayla chuckles along. "Oh my God! I always forget you're younger than us."
"Me too," I say and roll my eyes. It might only be two years, but this is by far not the first time they act surprise they hired someone mature. "Now, I'm sorry to rush you, but it's starting to get late here, so—"
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Millie rushes, from the sounds of it grabbing the phone from Kayla. "Of course. We’re sorry to keep you. Let us know if anything exciting is happening. Bye, Lily."
Kayla also mumbles a ‘bye,’ but the line cuts before she’s finished.
I'm a few blocks away from the hotel now as I lower my phone and take a deep breath of the not-so-fresh evening air. Single rain drops turn into a gentle rain fall as I make my way back to the hotel, becoming a heavy rainfall only seconds after I’ve entered the lobby.
I come to a stop by the elevators and take a second to breathe, leaning my back against the closest wall.
Today was a dream.
The best kind of dream.
And this call was like being woken up by having ice-cold water poured over me. Just what the fuck am I doing?
This is going to end badly. This is going to end so fucking badly.
I’m supposed to be the person to make smart decisions. So why am I throwing all caution out the window for Adam?
My readiness to ignore the ‘careful!’ screaming voices in my head scares me. I never knew how easy it is to ignore them when my heart decides it wants to take a risk. When it decides to continue that dream of today, to throw all caution to the wind and enjoy what's slowly developing between us, damned be the consequences.
I know I’ve been vague with Adam, but I know it can’t last. As much as it sucks, that’s the only thing I know for sure.
He's my rival. Even our goddamn contracts are probably working against the two of us.
Nobody can ever know. And it can’t last.
The sentence echoes in my head over and over again as I push the button and wait for an elevator.
Nobody can know .
And keeping him a secret is definitely not going to be easy. A part of me already wants to shout it from the rooftops, wants to claim him publicly by holding his hand.
But I'm replaying the way he looked at me on the Ferris wheel over and over again—his striking blue eyes and the conviction in them, the tenderness as he came closer for a kiss. Fuck this.
Nobody can know.
And nobody will know.
It’s going to be a challenge, but no soul will ever know.
Well, apart from Lucy but she’s a redhead, so she doesn’t count.
The ride on that elevator feels like hours, yet it ends before I feel ready. But as soon as I step out of it, all my impatience bubbles to the surface and I stride along the corridor in quick steps until I find his room at the very end.
My knuckles have barely touched the hotel room door when it flies open.
In front of me is Adam, wearing nothing but a towel around his hips.
"I was starting to wonder if you were ghosting me," he says with a low chuckle, and I feel my cheeks warming into a deep red as I let my eyes wander over his body appreciatively.
God damn, he's buff. When I lay my hand on his chest, it feels like a layer of steel under his skin. He puts his hand above mine and takes a step back. Then another, pulling me with him until we’re standing in his room, the door falling shut with a soft click.
Under my palm, I feel his heart beat as fast as mine. Lifting my other hand, I let it trail a path from his arm to the back of his neck, playing with his hair and feeling him sigh under my touch as his free hand lands on my hips, pulling me flush against him.
"You're in your head," he points out and lifts my hand to press his lips against my palm. I can't help but sigh.
His presence is calming, entrancing, just like the music in the museum and I feel the anxiety rolling off me.
"It was Kayla and Millie," I say softly, and he tenses, only softly relaxing again as my fingers start playing with the hair at the back of his neck.
"Listen. I know this is a difficult situation for the two of us." His voice is barely above a whisper and his thumbs start rubbing soft circles along my hip. I already feel myself melting under his touch and his understanding gaze and no words falling from his lips could sway me in my decision. "And if it's too much for you, I get it. We can stop here and this will never have happened."
"It's not too much," I whisper back and finally look up at him, although it takes a great deal of effort to tear my eyes away from his chest. "But no one can know, Adam."
He gulps and I freeze, my mantra of the past hour now out in the world, drowning the room in a solemn silence. Having it out there makes it feel real, like a bubble floating through the air, the slightest movement or wrong breath able to burst it.
Relief washes over his face after a few moments and he snakes his hands around my waist, linking his hands on the small of my back, our faces only inches apart. I feel his breath feathering over my skin as he leans forward to my ear.
"Nobody will know," he says like an oath, and I release a shaky breath before he draws back, only to search my eyes, his face softening when he finds whatever he is looking for.
I close my eyes and release a shaky breath as he inches closer and his lips meet mine, and this kiss, the shudder that runs through his body and the way his arms tighten their hold on me are all it takes to throw all of my remaining doubts out of the window.
The kiss takes my fucking breath away.
The low hum he elicits from his throat catapults me right back into the dreamlike state I've been in the whole day where all that exists is him.
I retract my hands from his hair, only to cling onto his shoulders as his begin scrunch up the fabric of my dress, our sighs mingling. It’s all-consuming, the way he touches me, the way he softly groans into my mouth when he’s hitched my dress far enough up to lay his hands on my panty-covered ass.
Both of us are out of breath when our lips finally part, and we look at each other with infernos burning in our eyes .
"Want you," he growls and lets go of my dress. “Can’t decide if I want to fuck you in this dress or want to see you naked first.”
“I vote naked,” I whisper against his throat, before I draw a path over his warm skin with my tongue.
“Fuck,” he moans and expertly opens my dress. I lower my arms to let it slide off my body into a puddle on the ground and step out of it, shooting him a wink.
"I’ve wanted you since the airport," he chuckles, his hand immediately snaking around my waist again as I raise my eyebrow at him.
"The airport?"
I can't believe he would want me in jogging pants, with runny makeup and my hair in a lazy bun. At the least, I would have scared him off when I was grumpy due to lack of sleep, with bags under my eyes bigger than the one the airline couldn’t find, that would make other men run away.
“You’re cute when you’re grumpy,” he says with a smile that makes the most adorable dimples pop up on his cheeks and I shake my head at him.
He’s talking too much.
“Less talking, more undressing,” I whisper, and he reaches behind me to pop the clasp of my bra open with two of his fingers.
Very unsanctimoniously, I let it join my dress on the ground and shimmy out of panties, all the while feeling his hungry gaze burning holes into my skin.
"Wow," he whispers with wide eyes, and the way he looks at me, I might just be a present on Christmas morning. “Fuck, Lily. You’re beautiful.”
"Why, thank you." I shoot him a wink and sultry smile as I step closer to him, my hands reaching for the towel around his hips.
I wasn't always this confident with my body.
My hips are wider than those of the slender businesswomen I see at all these conferences or the model-thin actresses and artists I work with all the time. One day, I turned determined to not let my body define me – men who like it will like it. Those who don’t are missing out.
And that mindset changed everything.
I might not be thin like a Victoria’s Secret model, but my boobs and my ass are bigger and I haven’t had a man complain about the little rolls on my hips and belly.
And neither does Adam, judging by the way his hands roam hungrily along my sides, his hand palming my breasts, harshly rubbing my nipple against his palm and making me moan at the sensation.
With a flick of my wrist, I've opened the towel, and it falls to the ground.
"You’re not too shabby either," I comment and grin at him cheekily. Even in the dim light, I can see his eyes darken.
"Not too shabby?" The corner of his mouth twitches as he comes closer, the predator-like grin on his face making me take a step back until he crowds me against the wall .
"Well, for your age..." I can't help but tease him with a giggle. He’s not quite a decade older than me, but close enough that it’s a tease-able age difference.
"For my...?" His eyes grow wide before he lowers his head with a chuckle. Then suddenly, I’m hanging over his shoulder and he’s carrying me through his room like a sack of potatoes.
“Adam!” I reach down and try to tickle his sides, but he’s already carried me to the bedroom and throws me onto his bed.
I’m still giggling when my back hits the mattress, only stopping when he pushes his way between my legs that are still hanging off the bed.
"I'll show you what I can do for my age." He raises his eyebrow at me, and a shiver runs down my spine.
"Can't wait," I tell him and bite my lower lip in anticipation.