19. Chapter Nineteen – Lily
My alarm goes off at an ungodly hour.
It's still dark outside as I scoot out of Adam's tight grasp around me and try to get up from bed with slow and steady movements, doing my best to not wake him up.
But I'm not very successful.
"Where do you think you're going?" I hear his sleepy voice from behind me, and it does all kinds of things to me, including but not limited to sending a shiver down my spine.
God, his voice is sexy. So deep and demanding, especially in the morning when it's still raspy from sleep.
Maybe I should just stay and sit on his face some more.
"An adventure," I tell him with a wink as I reach for my blouse.
"An adventure?" When I look at him, he's blinking one eye open, letting it wander appreciatively over my still-naked body. "I like adventures.”
“You can join me if you want?" I grin when he starts nodding sleepily, hiding a big yawn in his pillow before he throws it to the other side of his bed. I saunter over to the bed and lean down to press a kiss to his lips.
"I’m going to my room to change. Meet you downstairs in 15 minutes." His hand reaches up and tangles in my hair as he keeps me right here, close enough to see each speck of color in his eyes.
"Fifteen minutes? What’s the rush?” he groans, but I shake my head and when he lets me go, I straighten my back, continuing to gather up my clothes.
“Time is of the essence, Adam," I urge him with a grin as I zip up my skirt and quickly throw on my bra and blouse, grabbing my panties before slipping into my shoes. Groaning, he sits up and I give him a little wave before walking out the door.
"You made it," I greet him exactly 15 minutes later in front of the hotel.
"I did." His hair is still messy from sleep, and I can't help but smile and reach up to run my fingers through it in an attempt to make it look styled to be kind of messy instead. "There you go."
“Thanks.” He shoots me a sleepy smile and grabs my hand to press a kiss into my palm, when he realizes what my other hand is holding onto. “How the fuck do you already have an iced coffee?”
“I have my ways,” I say cryptically and grin at him. In truth, I got changed quickly enough to make a quick trip to the convenience store before he got here.
"Now let's go."
He mumbles something under his breath, and I offer him my coffee wordlessly. He leans down, his lips closing around the straw and taking a sip.
Instinctively, I reach for his hand and we start walking towards the station, falling into step with each other easily.
It's so… eerie to see Tokyo this quiet. No cars driving by and honking at us, barely any people on the streets, no music blasting from the stores.
Just silence.
"It's so peaceful,” Adam whispers and I nod in agreement. We’ve reached the station and even here there is barely a soul at this time. No wonder.
"It’s amazing how big the station seems all of a sudden. The crowds make it look so tiny and cramped, but this corridor is fucking huge."
"Right?" I look up and shoot him a grin. "Really shows you that it’s the amount of people, not the architecture that make it feel so crowded.”
“It’s so different from during the day.” Adam lets go of my hand, but only to put his arm over my shoulder instead .
“I love it when cities are still asleep. Especially Tokyo. It has such a different charm without the crowds." I snake my arm around his waist and sigh happily. “I try to take an early morning walk whenever I travel, just for that reason. To see the full charm.”
"Charming, indeed." He nods and shoots me a wink that makes me blush.
We try to get on the escalator without having to let go of each other, but I end up one step behind him, grinning when it makes him smaller than me but the perfect height to press my lips to his. Tired smiles on our faces, we walk onto our platform, and then step into a nearly empty train, watching as the city flies past us.
The sun is starting to rise in the distance, with a few rays reflecting off the glass facades of the skyscrapers and blinding us.
"So, where are we going?" Adam asks softly, and I shake my head with a giggle, only now realizing I never told him.
"Shibuya," I tell him and walk over to a row of seats to sit down. It's empty enough that there's plenty of space, and my thighs won’t invade a poor person’s space when I sit.
Adam takes a seat right next to me, extending his legs as long as nobody needs to walk past us.
"And what adventure are we going on in Shibuya?" He raises an eyebrow, and I lean my head against his shoulder. It's the perfect height to rest my head, dangerously comfortable .
His hand immediately lands on my thigh, and for a moment, I'm caught up in how familiar this moment feels. So natural. Like we’ve been doing this for years, like it's meant to be.
"People-watching and shopping," I finally admit, tangling my fingers with his. "Not much of an adventure. Sorry.” His shoulder moves with his laughter.
“It’s fine. Sounds like an adventure to me,” he says softly, and I shake my head at his attempt to placate me.
“I love Shibuya, but it's always crowded and chaotic, so I wanted to go in the morning. Also, my sister-in-law has been asking me to bring her some clothes from here."
“And you had to wake up at the crack of dawn for that? When do stores even open?”
"At eleven, I think.” I shift in my seat and hide a yawn behind my hand. “But I didn’t know when else to go. Figured two birds one stone and all that. I was going to do it after the Meiji shrine, but it was too warm and I didn’t want to. Then there wasn’t time.” I hum and sit back up, trying to find out where we are. Perfect. One more station. “And I’ve got to visit Hachiko."
"Hachiko? Like the movie ‘Hachiko’?"
"You watched Hachiko ?" I look up and raise an eyebrow at him, whistling impressed when he nods.
"Of course I did.” He rolls his eyes and follows suit when I get up. “What does that have to do with Shibuya?”
“There's a statue of Hachiko right next to the station,” I let him know, reaching for his hand again as the train doors open. “There’ s even another one at a university in Tokyo where he reunites with his owner.”
“That’s so touching.”
"Yes, but the one at the station is definitely the bigger tourist spot. The last time I was in Shibuya during the day, there were so many people wanting to take a picture with it that I could barely get close enough to see it.”
Then again, the last time I was in Tokyo was during Halloween season, and Shibuya was even more crowded than usual. So maybe I'm picturing it worse than it usually is.
"Alright," he says with a determined nod. "Now I definitely want to see it. Let's go check it out."
I take a second to orient myself at the stations, trying to find signs pointing me to the right direction. Something is different here compared to the last time and there’s construction going on, so I find the signs for the Hachiko exit and follow them religiously to not get lost in this station.
It has happened to me before and was not very fun.
The sun is now higher in the sky, tainting the city and sky in pretty pink and orange hues as the first rays illuminate the clouds.
"It's so serene," I say, voice full of wonder. Everything looks so vast without people crowding in from all sides. There are still more people than I expected for this time of the day, but we can walk at a normal pace without bumping into anyone or having to dodge people every two steps.
Within minutes, we come to a stop in front of the statue .
"So this is Hachiko," Adam says, a bit unimpressed, and I nod, fighting a giggle. The statue is pretty small.
"I thought it would be bigger," Adam points out, and I can’t hold my smile back anymore.
"I thought so too when I came here for the first time." I take out my phone and hand it to him. "Here, can you take a picture of me with it, quickly, please? I’ve never managed to get one in all the years because it was always so crowded."
Not that I’d have a problem queuing but taking tourist pictures is awkward enough – I didn’t want to take one if it meant a crowd of people staring at me while I do so.
I strike a quick pose next to the statue, and he takes the picture. Then he motions for me to do the same for him, and I oblige all too happily.
"Come on." He beckons me closer after I’ve taken the shot.
And when I'm close enough, he grabs the phone out of my hands and lifts it for a selfie.
"Scoot in, Beautiful. We're taking a picture together." And then he's taken the picture before I can even tease him about men his age knowing what a selfie is. I barely manage to smile in time, but when he takes a look at it, he hums happily before stowing his phone away again.
As we walk over to the infamous Shibuya Scramble Crossing, his hand finds mine with ease, his warm fingers enveloping mine as we take a slow stroll.
"God, I don’t love waking up this early, but I love Shibuya at this time of the day," I say with a grin. The Scramble Crossing doesn’t have much of a scramble going on currently.
"The only thing I hadn't considered, though," I add, "is that cafes aren't open yet. Let’s find some coffee."
Turns out, convenience stores are really the only stores open at this time of the day – most coffee shops are going to take another hour until they open their doors.
“Have you ever considered that you might be addicted to caffeine?”
“Drinking a lot of coffee is a trait, not an addiction,” I scold him playfully and demonstratively take a sip.
God, this is good. Still convenience store coffee, but for a convenience store coffee, it’s great. When I open my eyes, I see him stare at me with an unhappy expression.
"Suuure," he says with his eyebrows raised high, and I reach out my hand to smooth the wrinkle between them out with my index finger.
"Don't frown so much. Someday the wrinkles will stay." I grin at him and yelp when he playfully slaps my butt in response.
We drink our coffee as we stroll down to one of the few stores open at this time, which is coincidentally one I wanted to visit. It's a store chain that has everything a tourist's heart desires.
We take our time strolling through it, laughing at some of the gimmicks they sell, and I make sure to grab some more souvenirs for home: some cute hand fans for Kayla and Millie, a Godzilla figurine for my brother, and some adorable chopsticks for Lucy. I even get a mug for Felix that he can use in our office with a shiba butt on it.
Then we walk past the sweets aisle, and I fill up the rest of my basket with matcha treats to snack on during the flight and bring back home.
"Are they that good?" Adam asks curiously and I nod.
"Just so you know, you can try one but I’m not sharing." I grin. "They'll last me three days, max, because that stuff is fucking delicious."
"Alright, alright," he concedes, raising his hands in a defensive gesture, grinning. Then he grabs two packs himself.
By the time I'm done shopping, the cafe next door is finally opening. Without even having to discuss it, we both turn in its direction and get in the line.
The small coffees from the convenience store were great to take the edge off, but they really are more milk and sweetener than coffee. But the coffees without milk or sweetener don’t taste great; it’s a struggle.
Which means I really need a proper one, especially considering that Adam had me awake until two in the morning. So I'm running on maybe four hours of sleep right now.
Adam shoots me an annoyed glance when I order an extra shot of espresso with my coffee. "Do I need to be worried about you getting a heart attack? "
I subtly raise my middle finger at him, pretending to swipe a strand of hair behind my ear. Then I beckon him down.
"Listen, you had me awake and screaming until two in the morning. I'm running on very little sleep here," I whisper into his ear, and when I let him go and our eyes meet, he's grinning, not looking apologetic at all.
"So let me have my goddamn coffee without giving me shit about it, alright?"
"Alright.” The grin widens, and I take a greedy sip as soon as the barista hands me order.
"God, this is good."
He takes his boring black coffee, and we walk back out into the early morning air. It's still going to take a bit more time until the fashion stores open, so we take a short walk around Shibuya until they do.
"Now I know what you mean," Adam says later as the streets start to fill with people, making it more and more challenging to walk next to each other while holding hands.
"Told you?" I say with a shrug, sidestepping a guy hurrying in the opposite direction with his eyes glued to his phone.
"Which store are we going to?" Instead of an answer, I pull him into the next store. I didn’t even check for the name, but it’s open and the clothes in the window display are cute.
I hand Adam a basket so I have my hands free to hold up clothes to inspect them, throwing anything that looks cute into it. Lucy is a good bit smaller and slimmer than me – she should fit into these sizes effortlessly .
It doesn't take long until the basket is full with a good array of clothes for her and I decide that even though it’s barely noon, it's time to go back to the hotel. I’m really fucking tired.
Even though I didn’t have a lot of plans for Tokyo, it seems I have crossed off all of them. I have all the souvenirs I wanted to get, I went to all the places I wanted to go to and then some… The only thing on my agenda today is a long nap once we’re back.
We get on the train and by a stroke of luck find two seats next to each other again. Adam lets me sit on the outer edge of the bench, a bit of a barrier to my right and him on my left.
Despite the coffee, I can barely keep my eyes open, and my head keeps falling onto his shoulder. Without hesitation, he raises his arm and wraps it around my shoulders, thumb stroking my upper arm, and I relax against his side, closing my eyes but not quite falling asleep.
But our station comes way too soon.
Before he can get up, I lay my hand on his thigh and look up at him with the best puppy eyes I can muster. I’m not ready for this morning to end yet.
"Can we just stay for a bit?" I ask him, noting how his face softens instantly. "The train is going in circles, so in about an hour, we’ll be back here again anyway.”
I'm not ready to get out yet, to burst this little blissful bubble.
The end of our time together is approaching, and I'm painfully aware of that .
It's hanging over my head like a dark cloud, and I hate how it makes me feel. Like impending doom, making my heartbeat race and anxiety claw at my skin.
"Alright," Adam concedes, and I snuggle back into his side, willing the voices in my head to calm down.
Suddenly, I'm wide awake, acutely aware of his presence next to me – the way his body moves with each breath under my cheek, his fingers tracing small circles on my upper arm and his breath blowing against the top of my head.
I wish I could stay like this forever.
I wish we could be forever.
But real life is catching up faster than I want it to, and suddenly, I'm really fucking unsure of how I can even continue.
Is my career really worth it, if it means never having this again?