21. Chapter Twenty-One – Adam
Adam
"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, surprised, when I open the door to my apartment, only to find Reed sitting at my kitchen table and eating my favorite brand of chips.
I was looking forward to a relaxed evening of decompressing, wrapping my head around the last week. Not entertaining one of my younger brothers, who happens to have emergency keys to my apartment.
“Just checking in to see if you're still alive,” he says with a full mouth, shooting me an oblivious grin. He gets up and walks over to me, then playfully punches my shoulder. "Because suddenly you started ghosting us and we were wondering if the Yakuza got their hands on you and we’d have to collect you in pieces. I have dibs on your ass."
"No mafia kidnapping here," I assure him, and finally close my apartment door behind me, pushing my suitcase into my living room. "I was just busy."
“Busy?” Reed raises his eyebrow at me, looking straight through my bullshit. "You were never too busy for us, but you didn't even read like the last 20 texts in our group chat."
"More like two hundred. Y’all are excessive texters.” I roll my eyes at him. “Was there anything important?"
A sheepish grin spreads on his face. "No, there wasn’t.” I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose, fighting the urge to throw something at him “We were worried nonetheless."
"Well.” I take a deep breath. “I'll have you know that being a CEO is a very fucking busy job, and the conference was – surprise – very fucking busy. And why am I even justifying myself?"
"‘Busy.’ Is that what we're calling it nowadays?" Reed's smile becomes even wider.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You don't?" His grin is downright creepy now and he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "So, you went to Tokyo, and as soon as you ran into her, you mentioned Lily like thirty times."
He starts pacing the room in front of me, rubbing his chin as he’s apparently playing Sherlock Holmes. "Somehow, her name comes up in almost every single conversation we have. And then, suddenly, you are M.I.A. Completely gone. No messages. Let me tell you what I think."
"I think you ought to shut up," I urge him and throw my jacket into a corner. Tokyo might be sweltering, but when we arrived in the evening, it was actually pretty fresh here.
The tone of my voice must have gotten through to him, though, because he stops in his tracks and looks at me with wide eyes. "Seriously, Reed. Leave it. I don’t need to hear another lecture about never having time for you guys. Jackson took care of that a week ago. I’m good."
"You don't get it," Reed says and fixates me with a hard stare as he walks closer. "I think it's a good thing you ignored us."
“I don’t think Jackson shares that sentiment with you.” I walk to my fridge and take a cold water out of it.
"Well, pardon my French but fuck Jackson." My head whips around and I look at him, surprised. As I slipped into a father figure, Jackson took over the ‘biggest brother’ title. Over the years he’s become somewhat their leader, the one who speaks for them and fights their fights.
So this is new.
“Jackson called me after your fight. I don’t think he gave the full picture, but just… let me remind you, Jackson’s issues are, well, Jackson’s issues. You sacrificed a lot for us and it’s about time you get back to your own life. So don’t worry about any of us for once. We got it. And we got you, if you need us. Let him pout, and for once, don’t be the first one to give in.”
Reed shakes his head at me and puts his hands on my shoulders, holding my surprised gaze insistently.
"We are all fucking grown men by now and can speak for ourselves. Sure, it's tempting to run with your every issue, but you need some boundaries." His voice turns into a sing-song with the last word. "If there's more important stuff or people going on in your life, that's completely fine. I'm not here to accuse you of anything or pry, I’m just here to make sure you're still alive."
"Well, I'm alive," I let him know, gulping as his words only slowly begin to sink in. "Although, really fucking tired." I look pointedly between him and the door, and he bursts into laughter.
"Then I’ll leave you to it, old man." He walks over to the counter and grabs his bag. "Although now that you’re back, it would make me very happy to have you back at the game nights. The others are never going to admit it, but we missed you last week."
"Let me see how I feel tomorrow. If jet lag is kicking my ass, I might have to sit it out." And truth be told, I’m not very eager to face Jackson just yet.
He narrows his eyes at me but then ultimately his shoulders sag in dejection. “Of course. Good night, Adam.”
Reed raises his hand for a lazy wave before he walks out of my apartment. And then suddenly, silence.
There's the sound of cars honking in the distance and an alarm going off somewhere on the street. Nothing too bad, considering I'm in a penthouse, high above the bustling city.
Still, too silent.
With a sigh, I grab my suitcase and drag it into my bedroom. To my brother's and several of my ex-girlfriend's dismay, I'm the kind of person who can't rest until they've unpacked their suitcase and have everything stowed away again. It made for a lot of fights when I’d return from a business trip and have my brothers swarm me right at the entrance, all of them talking to me at once excitedly. They weren’t too thrilled about being asked to give me an hour to get settled in.
But finally, nobody can complain about it. So I do just that, even though exhaustion is making my movements sluggish and my eyes fall closed. All I want to do is sink into my own bed and catch a good night's sleep.
God, I'm getting too old for these kinds of huge time differences. I used to work through nights to acclimate, live on energy drinks and somehow make it through the day.
Now energy drinks give me a suspicious heart flutter and I’m exhausted even thinking about working through the night.
When I'm done putting my clothes away, I trudge into the kitchen, reaching for a takeout menu as I grab my drink that I left on the counter.
Right. Nobody can complain. At the same time, tonight, the silence feels heavy. Lonely.
Maybe it's because my last week has been anything but silent, but the contrast is downright deafening. I lean my butt against the kitchen counter and cross my arms in front of my chest, all thoughts of food suddenly gone.
I hate this.
Finally, I’ve found someone who makes me feel whole, someone who accepts my quips. Someone I have amazing chemistry with, in bed and out of it .
It was just my luck that it had to end before it even had the chance to start. Maybe I'm romanticizing it, maybe she short-circuited my whole brain into imagining a future with her that is so far from reality that I might as well just keep dreaming about it.
But I want to believe it's real.
I want to believe I could make her happy, and I want to believe that she could make me happy.
Maybe Jackson was right and I do need someone to challenge me. Someone who's not afraid to speak her mind just because I'm important at work.
Fuck. There must be a way to make this work without jeopardizing her career.
The thought of retirement crosses my mind for a moment but I instantly shut it down. No. That’s the one thing I can’t do.
When I look up, my eyes are instantly drawn to the picture of our parents I keep in my living room. Dad took it on the day they took me to the beach for the first time. Him setting up the camera, then running over to make it into the picture frame is one of my earliest memories. It might be slightly blurry and over the years it has gotten some creases before I finally framed it – but what matters the most is still there.
Love.
It’s written all over our faces and God fucking damnit if I can never feel that happiness again. But not at the expense of leaving the company, not at the detriment of letting go of that one thing that still connects me to them.
There must be a way.
She seemed bummed at the airport when we said our goodbyes. I might have even caught her eyes welling up with tears before she turned around to climb into her own taxi. Could she have changed her mind?
I exhale a deep sigh and start pacing my living room, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try to come up with a plan.
Maybe it’s not about convincing her to take a risk.
Maybe it’s about convincing her that I am worth it.
"You're back!" Barbara greets me happily when I walk into my office on Monday. As usual, her dark red hair is in a strict bun and she’s wearing her signature black blouse and pants. Like a shadow, even though her personality is anything but.
I intended to spend my Sunday preparing work for Monday, snooping and getting some gears into motion. But turns out, if you’re dealing with jetlag and time difference, not only can you sleep half a day away, but you can also still be so sluggish you’re barely able to form a proper thought. All I could do was lounge on my couch and pretend to watch tv and ignore my phone.
"Sure am," I greet her warmly, and she opens her arms for a hug that I gladly step into and return .
At this point, we’ve worked together so many years that our relationship is way past professional boundaries. She's basically family now. The sweet aunt that always has an encouraging word left for you.
She was my rock when everything with the company transition to me went down. Whenever I had trouble with my brothers, she had an open ear for me, and as a mother of three, she had some great tips to make my life at home work.
"How was Japan?"
I tell her about the conference as we walk to the kitchen because I definitely need a coffee to make it through the day.
What I'm not prepared for is the scent of freshly ground coffee getting me into my feels. But I square my shoulders and muscle through it.
"So yeah, anyways, it was great," I end my tales, then I rummage through my bag. "I got you a little souvenir."
"Oh, you didn’t have to," she says, not meaning a word of it as her eyes start to sparkle with curiosity. She loves presents, so I always make sure to get her a little something when I’m away. "What is it?"
"It's a fan," I tell her, smiling when I finally find it and hand it to her. “Here you go.”
"Oh, it’s beautiful." She opens it, revealing a very nice cherry blossom pattern. "Oh my. Thank you, Adam."
"Of course," I tell her and take a sip of my coffee as we walk back to my office. "So, did anything exciting happen while I was gone? "
"Well, we've got a few nominations for – I forgot which awards announced them last week," she says and taps her lip as she continues to think. “Well, can’t be too important then. It was nothing groundbreaking but some of our newcomers are in there.”
"That's great," I say, grinning into my coffee cup. Nominations for awards are wonderful for the company, but not the kind of pressing news I was fearing I would get here.
Mentally, I was almost prepared for like three fires to put out, but then again, Barbara is very skilled with a fire extinguisher herself. I’m sure she handled everything wonderfully while I was gone.
"Apart from that, no, nothing important. Only a bunch of documents that need your approval and signature."
"Perfect," I say and stop in front of my office door. "Nothing urgent. Listen, Barbara, I need your help. There's something I need to research. Can you pull up my company contract for me?"
"Of course." Her eyes grow wide as saucers. "But please tell me you're not leaving, because if it means you're going to quit, then I will absolutely not get it to you."
"I'm not going to quit," I assure her quickly, and she exhales a breath of relief, her expression softening.
"Okay, then I'll have it right over."
God, I love that woman.
“Also, I’ve been thinking.” I take a step back into her office before I continue. “And I wanted to run this by you before I do anything. I would like to hire an additional assistant.”
“An additional-“ Her face turns sour and I quickly lift my hands in a defensive gesture.
“It’s not because I’m unhappy with your work, I was just thinking about cutting down on work for a while.“ I quickly clarify and her expression instantly relaxes.
“Why?” she asks, fixating me with a hard stare.
“I just think it’s time,” I admit and scratch the back of my neck, shooting her a sheepish look. “Zoey is off to university now and… yeah.”
“The pressure is off?”
“Something like that.”
She nods in understanding, then turns to her computer. “I’ll draw up the job ad.”
“Thank you, Barbara.” I turn around and finally step into my office. Phase one of my plan is in action now.
It's already close to midnight when I call Chris, our company lawyer and old family friend. He’s known me since my dad founded the company, so really fucking long already.
"Adam! Long time no talk. Do I need to bail you out of jail?"
"Christian," I greet him, rolling my eyes at the intro. "You're saying that like it's ever happened. "
"Oh, I’m sure one day it will. And then I’ll have the great pleasure of telling you ‘I told you so,’" he quips, making me chuckle.
"Well, this is nothing quite as serious. There's something about my contract that I need your professional opinion on. Do you have time for me tomorrow?"
I hear rustling on his end of the line before he makes an affirmative sound in the back of his throat. "I can pencil you in around noon. Want to give me a heads up what this is about so I can prepare?"
"I just need to know if anything in it forbids me from dating the CEO of a rival company. I read through it, but my legalese is a bit rusty."
"Oh, I see." He lets out a low whistle. "Alright, tomorrow at three you may invite me for a late lunch and I'll make sure to have the answer for you."
"Perfect. Thanks, Chris. Usual place?"
"Usual place," he confirms. Before I can even say "see you tomorrow," he's already hung up.
I look at the stack of papers in front of me.
I've combed through every single one of my contract pages at least three times over the course of the day and I couldn’t find a single thing explicitly prohibiting it.
Then again, my legalese definitely isn’t as good as a lawyer's.
So I'm going to get Christian's confirmation tomorrow before I go and win over my girl.