22. Chapter Twenty-Two – Lily
Lily
I spend the entire rest of Saturday lounging in bed, where I may or may not have cried my eyes out. But oh, how I missed doing so in the comfort of my own bed. Then I ordered some ramen, already missing the convenience stores in Japan, then brought my laptop to my bed and watched one of my favorite movies.
Big mistake.
It only catapulted me right back to the amusement park with memories how we met the characters playing on repeat. Fuck.
But today, I’ll allow myself a bit of self-pity. Maybe even my own pity-party, although it won’t have any guests.
Tomorrow, everything will be forgotten, and on Monday, I’m back at work and all will be just like before I left for Tokyo.
Sounds like a good plan, right? I glare at my phone as it buzzes with an incoming message, then sigh and pick it up anyways.
Lucy : Are you free tomorrow?
I sigh and toss my phone onto the bed beside me, then change my mind and type back.
Lily : Yeah, come get your souvenirs, bring cupcakes.
Lucy : Roger.
Then she sends an ‘aye aye captain’ gif along and I toss my phone into a corner of the bed, continuing the movie.
The next day, Lucy trudges into my apartment like she owns the place. "So,” she starts, setting the bakery package onto my counter before turning to me and looking me up and down curiously. “How was it? Tell me everything!"
"It was really fucking warm," I tell her, and she playfully slaps my shoulder.
"You went to Tokyo in September – what did you expect?" she asks through laughter and I shrug.
"I expected nothing less, but I hoped it would be a bit cooler. "
I walk past her and get some plates out of my cupboard, opening the cute bakery packaging to transfer them over. God, they look amazing. "Want some coffee?"
"Only a little bit," she says, taking a seat at my kitchen island and making grabby hands for the cupcakes. "With how strong you make it, I need to drown it out with milk or I won’t sleep for three days."
"You’re exaggerating," I scold her, but only fill her cup about a quarter full.
"Like this?" I ask and lower the cup so she can see.
She narrows her eyes at it, then lifts her hand to show a little gap between her thumb and index finger. “A little more.”
I pour a sip more into it, then slide it over the marble countertop to her.
"There's your clothes." I point to a bag in the corner. I pull another bag from a compartment and place it on the table in front of me. And yes, I might have stored it right there for the dramatic effect of randomly pulling it out. "And here’s your souvenir."
Her head whips around to the bag with her clothes first, then snaps back to the souvenir bag as I set it down.
"Oh, you didn’t have to," she says, beaming yet pretending to be demure while reaching for the bag with her grubby little hands. I try to hide my grin, but it’s impossible.
"Here you go," I say, sliding the bag toward her. I didn’t even take her gift out of the inconspicuous sex shop bag, but she’s so distracted by getting to open a present, she doesn’t even notice.
Just like predicted, she digs into it like a child opening birthday presents. Maybe I should have wrapped it in unicorn gift paper with a pretty little bow.
"What the...?" she exclaims, turning it, still in the bag. Since it’s still in its plastic box, she won’t see much of it unless she takes it out.
"Don't be shy, take it out," I dare her, a wide grin on my face, quickly pretending to take a sip of my coffee to hide it. Oh, I’m having so much fun watching her squirm. She might love presents, but it looks like she’s fearing a jumpscare. I make a mental note to get her a jack in the box next time.
She gives me a suspicious glance, her eyes darting between me and the present in her hands. Then she starts shaking it, like that might reveal the box’s content.
"What is this?"
"Take it out, and you'll see." I wriggle my eyebrows at her, having given up on trying to hide my grin.
"You did not!" she exclaims as she pulls the dildo out of its packaging. "Is that what I think it is?"
"Well, if you think it’s a tentacle dildo, then you’d be right," I say, reaching for it. “I’ve taken the liberty of charging it, just so we could see what happens if you start it today. And if you press here—"
“Oh my God!” she shouts and jumps up as the thing starts to buzz and move.
"Lily! You’re not serious," she says, bursting into laughter. "That is amazing. I’m going to put it on my shelf like a trophy, and I’m not going to tell your brother what it really is. He’ll think it’s some kind of statue."
"That would be hilarious," I say, grinning. "We went to that seven-story sex shop in Akihabara, and I just had to get you something."
Her eyes widen. "We?"
I freeze. Whoops. That just came over my lips way too naturally, didn’t it?
I nod, avoiding her eyes and she leans forward, elbows on the table. Fuck. With her curiosity piqued, I know I’m not getting out of an interrogation.
"Did you hook up with someone?" she asks, suddenly in detective mode. “Is that why you were so silent over the past few days?” I evade her curious gaze, but that gives her all the confirmation she needs. "Oh my god, you did," she says, and I try to interrupt, but the words stick in my throat.
"Who is it?" she presses and jumps up from her seat, pacing the room. "Not Felix. No, definitely not. You of all people don’t shit where you eat."
She quickly dismisses that thought and I can see the gears turning in her head as she tries to find the answer. Then she stops in her tracks and points at me with her index finger.
"Lily! I knew you had a crush but how could you not tell me you actually hooked up? And you went to a sex shop with him? "
I purse my lips and look away, clearing my throat.
"I’m not sure if I should call you crazy or hilarious," she mumbles, trying to sound nonchalant but with a humorous tone to her voice. Then she pulls out her phone.
“I never managed to look him up. Adam Walker, right?”
I roll my eyes. Of course, she’d have his name memorized, even if I only mentioned him in passing.
"Damn girl, he's a sexy one," she says and whistles through her teeth, making me snap my eyes back to her. "I get where your crush came from. So, tell me more. Was he good?" She wiggles her eyebrows again, but continues the interrogation. "Are you going to date? Do I get to meet him? What’s the deal?"
"We're not going to date," I quickly reply. At this point, she wouldn't believe me if I tried to deny it anyway.
"Why not? You seem smitten, and if he went to a sex store with you, that sounds a lot more serious than just a hookup." She swallows her next word and corrects herself, "Or maybe it sounds like a hookup. But you also mentioned ‘we’ about the amusement park, now that I think of it and I know Felix would have posted about it."
Her eyes narrow at me, and I feel my cheeks heat up.
"Oh my God, he went to the amusement park with you," she says and starts laughing, running around the kitchen island and squeezing my hand while jumping up and down in front of me .
"You got your amusement park date! Oh my god, Lily, I’m so happy for you!"
"Thanks," I say, enthusiasm draining from my voice. "But still, we’re not dating. We can’t.”
"Why though?" she asks, dropping my hand and crossing her arms. "He seems like a good match if you’ve went on an amusement park date with him and didn’t complain about a single thing. Or did you complain to someone who’s not me?” She looks at me with big eyes and I shake my head. “I think you should totally pursue it."
"Because we’re still fucking rivals," I remind her, clearing my throat when my voice breaks. "This is a bad idea at worst, and against my contract at worst worst. Then there’s the part where dating him would probably ruin my reputation-" My voice grows weaker as I realize how dumb every single of my points sounds.
"Your contract prohibits you from dating?" Lucy asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Well, it’s not going to say explicitly that I can’t date Adam Walker from Croney, but I’m pretty sure there’s a clause about fraternizing with competing companies."
"Then just don’t talk to him about work," she suggests and shrugs like that’s the easiest thing in the world.
"It’s not that easy. This is not like a romance movie, where everything just resolves magically."
"Oh, come on, don’t be ridiculous. As far as I can judge the only thing hindering a magical resolve is your stubbornness and 'reputation'." She lifts her hands for airquotes, making it abundantly clear how laughable she finds my reasoning. "Have you talked to Millie and Kayla? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind."
"No, I haven’t, and I won’t," I reply, taking a sip of my coffee, then starting to peel the wrapper off my cupcake.
Lucy might have a point about my coffee.
Today’s is really strong. Or maybe I’m just not used to it anymore.
"We had fun. Now he’s back to being CEO of his company, and I’m back to being CEO of Siren’s Talent. I’ll get over it."
"I’ll get over it," she repeats, mocking me. "Well, I don’t like it. You shouldn’t have to get over it. I’m not saying your dating life is a disaster. I’m saying it’s non-existent. And he seems good for you. And you haven’t come to me complaining about him, which is more than I can say about your past boyfriends and even flings," she points out.
"And don’t tell me it’s because he’s not worth talking about, because that glow on your face says otherwise."
"No idea what you’re talking about."
“And you’re going to let that man slip through your fingers? Because of your reputation?” She continues her rant and I can’t help but feel dumb. “Since when do you care about what some boomer thinks of you? You said it yourself, they think you slept your way to the top anyways. Do you think by staying single forever you’ll change their mind? Spoiler alert, it won't.” I gnaw on my lip, each of her words piercing through my heart like a knife.
Because they're true. And the realization that I've thrown away something that could have been great for reasons that sound dumber and dumber with each word leaving Lucy's mouth, is making my eyes sting.
She talks herself into a rage that I can’t deal with right now. I need to think. So, I get up and toss her the bag with her clothes so she’ll stop. It works. She catches it and glares at me silently.
"Now let’s change the topic. Try them on. Give me a fashion show."
"This topic is far from over, Lily," she says, pointing her finger at me and I roll my eyes.
"Yes, it is. Now go and try them on, or I’ll keep them."
"You wouldn’t dare," she says, clutching the bag to her chest and running off to my bedroom to change.
"Lily, welcome back!" Millie greets me at the office and jumps me with a hug. I take a few steps back, startled.
"Hell yes," I press out with a wide grin and return her hug.
I don’t know what it is about her, but she brings good vibes wherever she goes. No matter how shitty my mood is, as soon as she enters the room, she manages to lift it instantly with her bubbly and kind personality.
"How was it? Did you have fun? What did you do?" she asks, letting me go and taking a step back .
"How about you let her talk, Millie?" Kayla says and approaches me. She’s not quite as bubbly, more of the calm and calculated type, but not any less welcoming. "Maybe let her get to her office first."
"Sorry," Millie says with an apologetic grin, but I wave her off.
"It’s fine. Let me put my bag in my office, make a coffee, and then we’ll meet in the meeting room, alright? Give me 10 minutes?"
"Of course," they say in unison, and I hear them bickering as I make my way into my office.
"Are you coming too?" I ask Felix, who has a stack of papers piled up to his head. His desk is right by the doors so I have no doubts that he heard us. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," he says way too quickly, looking at me wide-eyed and trying to subtly hide the papers in front of him with his arm. My curiosity is piqued and I cross my arms in front of my chest.
"If it’s ‘nothing’, you can tell me.”
“It’s… something,” he corrects himself and I roll my eyes at him.
"You know what? Now I don’t want to know anymore," I say, shaking my head, cursing internally when the reverse psychology doesn’t work.
"No.” He tilts his head and taps his lip, his indicator that he’s thinking about how to phrase it so I won’t know. “I have this thing I need to go through. Or do you need me for the meeting? Then I guess it could wait."
He raises an eyebrow, and I sigh, then shake my head.
“I’m just catching them up on the conference, but after that, I’ll need to word-vomit a bit about my own conclusions. If you’ve got some time to spare, of course.”
He nods eagerly, and I watch him from the corner of my eye as I continue to my office.
Something’s up with him, and I’m dying to know what. He’s never acted that secretive with me and it makes me want to know all the more. Well, if it’s important, I’m sure he’ll let me know.
"Again, we’re really sorry we couldn’t lend you the jet for your flight there," Kayla says immediately when I enter the meeting room.
"No worries," I quickly assure her. "You’re the owners of the company and the top talent. I’m not going to expect you to drop your jet at a moment's notice just because I’m inconvenienced."
"You should though," Millie points out. "We might be the Sirens, but the three of us know that you’re the one actually running this place and we’re just the faces. You’re just as important as we are, if not even more. So next time, we’ll find a way. "
"Was the flight back okay at least?" Millie asks worriedly, sitting down and propping her feet on one of the other chairs, stretching her arms over her head.
"Yes, the flight back was alright," I say, trying not to show too much enthusiasm. "Please tell Adam thank you again. It was very nice of him to let me tag along."
"Very nice indeed," Kayla says, and I see the corner of her mouth twitching.
They don’t know, they don’t know.
I need to remind myself, because at this point I’m heading to a panic attack. So I take a deep breath and continue.
"Anyways," I say, placing my notepad full of incoherent notes on the table. "So, to make it short, the conference was interesting. Now, the good news is, expanding to Japan would be a smart move. The bad news is, our company is just not there yet, but we can add it as a point to our long-term strategy."
I see their demeanor shift from friendly catch-up to business. "Sorry to disappoint."
"No, not disappointment," Millie says quickly. "I appreciate you being real about this. If you say we’re not ready, we’re not ready. It’s better than pumping our money into expanding and failing spectacularly."
"I do have some thoughts and ideas to start laying the groundwork. But for now, let me give you the gist of the conference so you can also draw your own conclusions," I say, and spend the next two hours going over all the various topics that I’ve learned about over the past two weeks .
The two of them listen intently, asking questions, but after two hours, I can see that they’re at their limit of how much information they can take.
"Okay, let’s stop here for now," I say, also exhausted after having talked for two hours straight. "That’s basically the most important stuff. I’ll get together with Felix and we’ll make you a proper presentation of what that could look like in our long-term strategy."
“Sounds perfect.” Kayla also hides a yawn behind her hand and Millie, I guess, yawns along in solidarity.
"Now, tell me about what’s going on with you. You mentioned that small venue tour." I turn the pages of my notebook and grab my pen, getting ready to take some notes.
"Right," Kayla starts, and Millie perks up now as well. "We thought about what you said and we agree that it makes more sense to put it on the back burner for now. As cool as it would be to do something awesome for our long-term fans, just like with expanding to Japan, we’ve got to be patient."
"Okay," I nod and scribble it down. "Do you still want me to do the research for a live stream or some other form of a digital event?"
"Right.” Kayla rubs her hand over her forehead. “I completely forgot about that.”
“Same,” Millie admits and puts her arms on the table.
“Of course, a live stream is not as cool as meeting them in real life, but for now, it could be a way to strengthen the parasocial relationships. And there are a lot more possibilities. "
"That makes it sound so calculating," Millie says, and Kayla shakes her head.
"It does, but it’s the reality."
“What do you mean with more possibilities?”
“I mean you could have one on one calls with fans,” I share an idea. The two of them shoot each other a glance I can’t read. “That’s not really possible with VIP events. You can talk to smaller groups, really take some time to show your appreciation.”
Their eyes grow wide and I jot the idea down with a chuckle.
"So how about I let Felix research what it would take, and we re-evaluate after we know more? Or you let me know if you come up with any other ideas."
"Let’s check out this live stream thing," Kayla nods. "It’s not too different from a press conference, right?"
"Definitely manageable," Millie agrees.
"Cool," I say, gathering my notes. "I hate to cut this short, but there’s a bunch of stuff I need to catch up on."
"Of course," they say in unison, exchanging yet another look I can’t quite decipher.