Chapter 30
Dan stepped into The Starr Light, barely managing a smile for the handful of people he knew who were inside.
It was a week since he’d let Zoe walk out of his life, since he’d made her, more or less, and he was still feeling both grumpy and guilty.
Having Lindsay reappear in his life had pulled all sorts of triggers for him, and unfortunately he’d taken it out on Zoe.
He’d thought about reaching out to her, apologizing, explaining, but how did you come back from telling someone it was over, and you were the one ending it?
And was it even worth doing, all things considered?
The point he’d been trying to make still stood, even if he’d been a jerk about making it.
And in any case, Zoe hadn’t reached out to him, and also in any case, she’d been right. Their lives were complicated, although thankfully his life had gotten less so when Lindsay had, to his relief, gone back to Dubai, and gone back alone.
No one had been more shocked than him when Sophie had come back from their fun day out and told him with flat matter-of-factness that she wasn’t moving to Dubai.
“Honey, what?” Dan had exclaimed. He’d spent several hours online, researching his legal rights in terms of his daughter and whether he could get a court order to forbid Lindsay from taking Sophie back to Dubai on her own.
He’d been ready to fight, at least he’d told himself he was, for once, and he couldn’t quite process that it now seemed he wouldn’t have to. “Why?”
Sophie had shrugged, her expression closing up as she folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t really want to talk about it, okay?
I just realized it wasn’t going to work.
Mom has all these great plans, that she talks so much about, and they sound really exciting, but I’ve learned that they’re not so great in reality.
” She’d gulped, her matter-of-fact facade slipping just a little before she’d forced a shrug and added, “And I really don’t like the heat, so… ”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Dan hadn’t been willing to go along with Sophie’s determined nonchalance. He’d pulled his daughter into a hug, and to his relief and gratitude, she’d come willingly, clinging to him, her head buried in his chest. “I’m sorry,” he’d whispered.
“I’m sorry, too,” she’d mumbled back. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk about everything. I know I have, so don’t bother to deny it.”
“I won’t,” Dan had teased, and Sophie had given a howl of outrage before smiling a little and then sighing.
“I just… I wish Mom was different, I guess,” she’d said sadly.
“I think she does try, honey,” Dan had told her.
“But sometimes people can’t be what you need them to be, at least in that moment, and you…
you have to accept that, I guess.” Like he was having to accept with Zoe…
except he didn’t want to accept it. He wanted to believe that people could make mistakes and change and grow…
both Zoe and him. She could give a little, and so could he.
They’d meet in the middle and make it work.
Wasn’t that what a real relationship was?
But he certainly hadn’t acted like he believed that when he’d told her he was ending it, and he really didn’t know where he could go from here.
He moved through the diner to the back booth where Sophie had texted to meet him.
It was the same one they’d sat in when they’d first moved, and they’d both been so miserable.
This time, she was coming from dance class, and she’d asked him to order her a double bacon cheeseburger, which had made him smile.
No matter what happened with Zoe, he was glad he was on a good footing with his daughter at last.
He rounded the corner and then came to an abrupt stop when he saw who was sitting in the booth. Zoe, not Sophie.
She looked up at him in surprise, a flush coming to her pale cheeks. “Hi…”
“What are you doing here?” he demanded, realizing belatedly how ungracious he sounded, but he was just so surprised.
“I’m meeting Sophie,” she told him after a startled pause, sounding defensive and, understandably, a little annoyed.
“What?” He stared hard at her. “Sophie told me she was meeting me here.”
“You…” Zoe stared back at him, her forehead furrowed in confusion, and then she let out a sudden tired laugh.
“I think we might have been outmaneuvered,” she told him and then shook her head.
“Never mind. All I’m saying is, I think this was planned.
” Her expression turned hesitant as she nodded to the bench opposite.
“Do you want to sit down…? Because I’d actually be glad of having a chance to talk to you. ”
“Okay.” He slid into the booth and they both sat there, tense, expectant, and completely silent.
“This is awkward,” Zoe finally said on a wobbly laugh.
“And hard. But… I guess I’ll just say it.
You were right, Dan.” The words came in a rush.
“I was being scared and selfish and thoughtless, and all the while I convinced myself I was acting in your best interests. Letting you go, the noble sacrifice.” She shook her head.
“When really I was chickening out, because things seemed difficult and I don’t always do well with difficult.
I freeze or retreat, batten down the hatches, like I did with my parents.
” A gusty sigh escaped her. “I still feel guilty for not encouraging them to get out more. I basically encouraged their feebleness. What kind of daughter does that?”
“One who is scared and overwhelmed and loves her parents very much,” Dan answered softly.
“Zoe, you shouldn’t have had to go first here.
I’m as sorry as you are, if not more so.
I’ve regretted the things I said that night all week.
I was angry, and not really at you. At Lindsay, and at myself, for falling into old patterns.
For just taking it, over and over again, because I thought that’s what a marriage meant.
But equating your behavior with hers was wrong.
I think I knew that then, and I certainly know it now. ”
He fell silent, feeling like he’d said too much and yet not nearly enough. He couldn’t tell from Zoe’s expression what she thought about any of it.
“I guess we both fell into old patterns,” she said slowly. “Which is understandable.”
“All right, kids,” Wendy announced brightly as she came to their booth, taking the stub of a pencil from behind her ear. “What will you two lovebirds be having?”
Zoe gave Dan a wry smile that made his heart sing with hope. She hadn’t denied it, at least…
“I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger,” Zoe said, and Dan almost laughed.
“A girl after my own heart,” he told her. “I’ll have the same.”
“Do you want fries with that?” Wendy asked pointedly, and this time he did laugh.
“I certainly do.”
After Wendy had gone, taking the menus with her, they both lapsed into a silence that didn’t feel awkward, but it wasn’t totally comfortable, either. Dan knew he needed a clarifying conversation, for real this time.
“So…” he said, just as Zoe said at the same time, “So…”
They both laughed, embarrassed, but, Dan thought, hopeful.
“Where do we go from here?” he asked quietly.
“Or really, where do you want to go from here? Because I know life is complicated for both of us, and frankly, it’s only likely to get more complicated.
Your parents, my daughter, not to mention my grandmother… ”
“The indomitable Henrietta Starr,” Zoe quipped. “She’s quite the sage, actually. And I think she might have helped us both with some of her advice.”
“Oh?” Dan arched an eyebrow. “That sounds interesting.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Zoe teased. “Maybe I’ll tell you some time.
The point is, though… you’re right, life is complicated.
Which is why it’s better to do it with people than on your own.
With friends and neighbors and—and significant others.
I know it’s early days for us,” she added in a rush, a blush coming to her cheeks.
“Very early. And we don’t know what the future holds for anyone, us included. If there is an us—”
“There’s an us,” Dan said firmly.
“So maybe we just let that be enough for now?” Zoe suggested hesitantly. “There’s an us.” She nodded slowly, a question in her eyes, a smile tugging her lips.
Dan gazed at her, his heart filled with both love and hope. Zoe was right, it was early days, and there would be hard days ahead, but they could face them together. They could try.
“There’s an us,” he repeated, savoring the words. “I like the sound of that.”
Just then, Wendy came back, practically slamming their plates down on the table. “All right, you two,” she barked. “Everyone in this diner is dying to know if you’ve kissed and made up.”
Zoe let out a choked laugh. “Everyone?” she asked, her gaze moving around the diner, widening when she saw all the people neither of them, Dan suspected, had caught sight of when they’d come in, in their separate hazes of misery—Jenna and Jack, Laurie and Joshua, Maggie and Zach, Annie and Mike.
Liz Cranbury, too, and others whose names he had yet to know.
The good people of Starr’s Fall, cheering them on from the sidelines, and listening in as best as they could too, of course.
“We have,” he confirmed to Wendy, who scowled.
“Well, do it already, then!” she demanded, and Dan gave her a startled look.
Wendy leaned forward, making sure to enunciate every syllable. “Kiss… and make up.”
Dan glanced around the waiting crowd while Zoe blushed almost as pink as her hair.
“Kiss and make up?” he repeated.
“Yes!” The raggedy shout emerged from at least half the room.
And so Dan did.