Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Ansford Keep was abuzz with excitement and filled with an undercurrent of concern. Zek joined Reeve and Abby’s father downstairs for a stiff drink.
As their voices drifted back, Christine could hear Sir Stephen offering Reeve the benefit of his experience.
She supposed he had plenty of advice to give, having had so many children of his own.
Lady Meg was with Abby and the doctor, and several servants were bustling about with hot water and towels, keeping busy.
Christine remembered the night Nigel was born.
She hadn’t thought much of it at the time, only that there was a great to-do and then the next morning she was called into her parents’ bedchamber to meet the red-faced baby tucked away in the crib.
None of it had been very exciting to her mind, and she was glad when she was allowed to go about her business.
But that red-faced babe had grown into Nigel, whom she now loved to bits, and she could not imagine a world without him in it.
It was a long night of waiting and tending to her sister’s every need, and it was almost dawn by the time Abby’s son was finally born. Anticipation had kept most of them awake, while others had dozed off and on.
Christine had found something productive to do, ensuring that there was plenty to eat and drink as the hours dragged by.
She even managed a few naps. When she went upstairs to say her first hello to her new nephew, she found her sister pale and exhausted, but content, her child held safely in her arms. Reeve was there as well, clasping Abby’s hand, looking as if Christmas had come early this year.
Christine unexpectedly felt very emotional. “Congratulations! I am so happy for you both!”
Abby looked at her, tears welling up in her blue eyes. “Thank you, Christine.” She suddenly added, “Would you like to hold him for a moment?”
Christine hesitated. She was a little worried she might accidentally drop the precious bundle.
She almost had with Nigel long ago. But Abby was holding him out, and it felt churlish and ridiculous to refuse.
So she took the babe into her arms and held him.
He was warm and very small, and when she peeped down into his face, he looked as red-faced as Nigel had been, his eyes closed.
“Oh,” she whispered aloud in wonder. To her surprise, he opened his eyes and looked up at her in an unfocused sort of way. She thought he might suddenly cry, but he didn’t. She wasn’t sure if he could really see her, but this moment felt very special.
“He knows you are his aunt.” Zek’s voice was close by, but she hadn’t heard him come into the room.
“Do you think so?” she said softly, still gazing at the baby’s perfect face. She already loved him.
“He is thinking of all the nice things he is going to ask you for when he grows up. And I have no doubt you will indulge his every whim.”
That made Christine smile.
Reeve came to retrieve his son, unable to keep his own smile off his face. He had always wanted a family of his own, and now he had one. He and Abby would be such good parents, though at the moment Abby looked as if she was about to fall into a deep slumber.
“We should leave them to rest,” Christine said to Zek, moving toward the door. She glanced back and saw Reeve sitting with the baby, his gaze focused on Abby. Her eyes stung with tears, but they were happy ones. There was so much love in the room right now.
Zek closed the door behind them. “I never thought I would want children,” he said, following on from their earlier conversation. “At times, my own family felt more like a burden than a joy. But seeing Reeve and Abby... Perhaps I’ve changed my mind.”
Christine’s eyes met his. “I think it is different for a woman,” she said as they made their way to the top of the stairs.
“Not just because of the risk involved but how would I manage my career? How can I walk the stage with a child on my hip? Or learn my lines when I am interrupted by a crying baby every five minutes?”
Zek frowned. “So you must choose one or the other? That seems quite unfair, Christine.”
He was right. It was unfair. She had been so single-minded about her career she had never thought about a life outside of it.
All her life she’d wanted nothing more than to act upon one of London’s famous stages, to be famous.
It was generally assumed that a woman having a child wasn’t able to continue to take on roles in the theatre.
But Madame Vestris was married and had children, although of course she was famous.
All the same, why should Christine automatically miss out on a family if she ever achieved her dream?
These thoughts went deeper and were more emotional than she wished to deal with right now. Seeking to lighten the moment, she said, “I have not met any man in London I would wish to marry, so it most likely does not matter.”
His eyebrows lifted in a mocking way. “Are all the gentlemen in London so hideous? I cannot say I noticed when I was there.”
She laughed. “It is not the men who are the problem. I simply crave more than flattery and a handsome chap on my arm. It is not easy to find someone who wants to be seen with me and not Christina Silk.”
“Hmm,” he pondered, his dark eyes penetrating, as if she had surprised him with her candour.
“And what of you?” Christine asked. And then went on in a teasing voice, “Don’t tell me there are no lovely ladies in Barton Lacey that Mr Zek Nash would like to tip his hat to?”
He considered her question, but he looked unexpectedly serious. “I have not met the woman of my heart’s desire yet, nor even looked for her. I have been concentrating on making as much money as I can. That must sound very avaricious to you. My apologies.”
She shrugged. “It is understandable. You were poor, and you have worked hard to become otherwise. One does not simply switch off that kind of drive and determination.”
“You sound as if you speak from experience.”
“I suppose I do.”
“Perhaps you are right. But seeing Reeve and Abby just now, I felt as though something was missing in my life. I believe you felt it too?”
She looked away, but nodded grudgingly.
“Well, I suppose it will give me something to think upon. Do I wish to end up a lonely old man, like my uncle? Or do I want a family to love, even if I must forgo my ambitions, or at least set them aside, to have it?”
Christine felt he made a good point, but he was still looking at her, and she wondered what he was thinking. Perhaps he thought that she would end up a famous but lonely old woman? Or was that warm glow in his eyes something else entirely?
Her heart gave a little jolt. She had hated Zek for so long. How could she now be having feelings for him? And why was she gazing so intently into his eyes!
“I should take you home. You must be longing for some proper sleep.” He said as they moved down the stairs. They had been standing at the head of the staircase for quite some time, deep in conversation, and starting another staring contest without realising it. She shook herself and followed him.
They found her father sprawled on the sofa in the library, snoring. No doubt Lady Meg was in one of the bedrooms, catching up on her own sleep. Christine wanted to accept Zek’s offer, but she was also beginning to wonder if it might be a better idea to distance herself from him.
Zek was making ripples in her notions of what she was and who she was and what she wanted in life.
She wasn’t even sure when it had started.
First there had been her homesickness for Barton Lacey, then the baby, and now Zek’s veiled hints of interest. They had all combined to send her off kilter, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.
But it had been a long night. Her emotions had risen to a level she wasn’t sure she understood completely.
Outside it was still cool, and her borrowed cloak was nice and warm. She wondered if she could bear to part with it as they started the short journey back to Starling Hall. The sun was still inching above the horizon, and the light across the land was nothing less than magical.
“I often forget how beautiful this place is,” Zek said quietly. “I am always telling myself I should visit more often.”
“As should I,” Christine echoed.
They grew silent, both deep in their own thoughts, and it wasn’t until the coach turned into the driveway of the Hall that Christine bestirred herself to speak.
“Thank you for taking me to the Keep, and for driving me home. It was very kind of you.”
“You sound as if you are surprised I can be kind?” he said, amusement in his voice but also something else. Memories of the past, perhaps.
“I’m not surprised at all,” she denied. “I know you are kind. At least... I do now.”
Zek jumped down and reached up to take her hand and help her to the ground.
As she stepped down, she tripped on the step and fell against him.
His arms came around her, and for a moment they were pressed close together.
She caught her breath as she looked up at him, his face all shadows in the early light. Then he bent down and kissed her.
Christine was so surprised she did not respond for a moment.
His lips were warm, and the kiss was very pleasant.
And to her amazement, she found she wanted more.
She lifted her arms to encircle his neck and kissed him back.
It did not feel strange or wrong. It was as if they had known each other forever, and this was just the logical next step in their relationship.
She might have kept on kissing him, he did not seem loathed to stop either, except a voice called out from the doorway of the Hall. “Christine! How is the baby? Quickly, come in and tell us all about it!”
That made them both draw back in surprise. Zek took a breath. “Should I apologise?” he asked her, his gaze searching hers.
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “It was just the emotion of Abby and the baby, I’m sure that is it.” But was it? Was that the real reason they had been kissing when they had spent so many years hating each other?
“You’re probably right,” he said after a pause, but sounded disappointed.
“Oh, your cloak!” She began fumbling with the clasp to remove it, but he reached out and stilled her hands with his.
“Keep it. For now, at least,” he said quietly. “I would like to think of you wearing it.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, but he had already climbed back into his coach, and any chance for a reply was gone. She lingered on the driveway, watching him disappear back the way he had come, wondering what on earth had just happened.