Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
THE ROMANTICS, “TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP”
The following week, Matt and his mom went to Michigan for a campus tour and to watch a baseball game while Wesley and Isaac manned the ranch, and I handled the farm stand. I arrived early Monday morning for inventory, per Violet’s request.
As I made my way toward the house to get the key to the shed and the cash, I saw Isaac by the barn swinging a rope. I veered in his direction while he practiced on a stationary calf dummy. It was the first interaction I’d had with him since he made the coveting comment.
“Seems kind of lazy that you’re roping something that’s not moving,” I said.
He grinned without glancing at me. “Sunday Morning, it seems like you think this is easier than it is.”
I stepped onto the bottom fence plank and rested my arms on the top one. “Why do you rope? Does your daddy not pay you enough?”
“Because I enjoy it.” He threw the rope and snagged it on the horn of the dummy calf. “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Don’t you?”
He eyed me. “My mom left me in charge of keeping watch over you, so technically, I’m your boss this week. That means you do what I say.”
“Then look at me and tell me what to do,” I said before biting my lower lip.
“With that attitude, you’re going to send your dad to his grave early. You and your sisters.”
“I take offense on behalf of myself and my sisters. We’re angels.”
“Get to work before I find something else for you to do.”
“I’m off at four. I want to play your guitar again.”
“No.”
I ignored his response. “Is it in the barn?”
The idea that Isaac liked me—coveted me—made me feel exhilarated.
Mature.
Irresistible.
Desired.
Basically, sin, sin, sin.
But also a little braver.
I should have kept my distance, especially with Matt out of town, but I was curious—to a fault.
“What if I let you touch something of mine?” As soon as I said the words, my heart raced with fear like I’d jumped out of a plane and didn’t know if my parachute worked.
“You’re in over your head, little girl.”
I frowned because I wasn’t a little girl .
Not a schoolgirl.
Not a minor.
Not a virgin.
“Why do you say that?”
He dropped the rope and scuffed his boots through the dirt toward me. “Do you love my little brother?”
I nodded. It was the truth. But just because I loved him, it didn’t mean I wanted to marry him.
“Then why would you say that?” Isaac asked, leaning against the post and inspecting his fingernails.
“Because I want to play your guitar.”
“At what cost?” he asked, keeping his head bowed.
“I don’t know yet because you haven’t made me an offer.”
He trapped his lower lip between his teeth and shook his head. “It’s in my closet. I have to pick up sheep from the Brady’s later. Don’t mess with anything else,” he said, walking away.
“What do I have to do in return?” I called.
“I’ll figure something out.”
As soon as I closed the farm stand, I ran down the lane to return the key and cash and get Isaac’s guitar. Lightning lit up the cloudy sky in the distance, so I didn’t waste any time hanging up the key, discarding my dirty boots, and tiptoeing up the stairs, even though Isaac was gone. Wesley was most likely still in the machine shed working on equipment like he did most nights until dinner or later.
Heading into Isaac’s room, I paused to hold still when I heard something. It came from their parents’ bedroom .
For a second, I considered skipping the guitar and bolting out of the house. But I had already established my willingness to do just about anything to play the guitar, so I jumped over the threshold into Isaac's room like a dancer making a graceful leap, and I retrieved his acoustic guitar from the closet and took two steps toward the door when I heard a jarring curse in a man’s voice.
“Jesus Christ,” he said and then seethed.
I gulped.
“Slow down …” It was Wesley’s strained voice.
I couldn’t tell if he was angry or injured. The tone held a mix of both. Hugging the guitar, I crept down the hallway. Before taking the last step, I stopped and craned my neck to peek into the room past the partially ajar door. As soon as my eyes focused, I reared my whole body in the opposite direction and covered my mouth to muffle my gasp. The floor squeaked, and I cringed, using both arms to hug the guitar again.
“Isaac?” Wesley called.
“Oh my god!” the woman whisper-yelled, making the bedroom floor squeak while she moved around the room.
I skittered back to Isaac’s room and jumped into the closet, quietly shutting the bifold doors and praying Wesley didn’t find me.
The squeaky hall floor sounded again, and I held my breath, heart racing.
“I thought you said he was gone,” the woman said. She sounded familiar—and young— but she wasn’t talking loud enough for me to place her.
“He is.”
“Then what did you hear?”
They were right outside of the bedroom .
“I don’t know. Probably nothing,” Wesley said.
“Well, I have to get out of here. You need to drive me home before Isaac returns.”
“It was nothing. Don’t worry.” His voice faded as they descended the stairs.
When I heard the door shut, I emerged from the closet.
Wesley Cory was cheating on Violet. I couldn’t believe it. The previous day, he was at church with Vi before she and Matt left for St. Louis. They were holding hands, singing hymns, and praying along with everyone else.
It made no sense.
Why was he cheating? And what woman willingly had sex with a married man? Sex was awful.
I slithered down the stairs and checked the front windows. When I saw Wesley’s truck turning out of their lane, I sprinted to my car, carefully slid the guitar in the back, and sped home. The secrets were piling up.
The woman straddling Wesley in bed had long black hair and a bikini tan line. And she sounded so familiar. What was I supposed to do with that disturbing revelation?
“Where did you get that?” Gabby asked when I walked into the house with Isaac’s guitar.
“I’m borrowing it from Matt’s brother,” I said past my nerves.
“Borrowing it, or you stole it?” She grinned. “You look like you’re freaking out.”
“I’m not freaking out.” I headed upstairs.
“How was work?” Dad called from the living room before I reached the top of the stairs.
“Uh, fine. It was a slow day. I think it was the on-and-off rain,” I said in a breathless voice. Gabby was right—I was freaking out.
“Hey!” Mom chirped, scaring the bejesus out of me as she emerged from her bedroom.
“Hey,” I rushed into my room.
“Whose guitar?”
“Isaac’s. He’s letting me borrow it.”
Mom stood in my doorway. “That’s nice of him. You’ve always wanted to play the guitar. But be careful; those strings will be unforgiving to your fingers, and you won’t be able to play the piano.”
I set the guitar on my bed and crossed my arms, then shoved my fingers into my jeans pockets for two seconds before I wrung them out in front of me, and finally, crossed my arms again.
Mom squinted. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I clipped too quickly to be believable.
She narrowed her eyes even more. “Sarah,” she said slowly.
“If you saw something you weren’t supposed to see, would you tell anyone?”
“What did you see?”
“Nothing. It’s hypothetical.”
“Sarah, is someone in trouble?”
“No. Well, not exactly.”
“Just tell me.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. That’s what I’m saying. If I thought I could tell you, I’d just tell you instead of asking you a hypothetical question. I may have seen something that’s not any of my business. It’s not like I witnessed a crime, well maybe a moral crime, but not like someone was breaking the law—robbing a bank or anything like that. And if I tell someone what I saw, really bad things could happen as a result. So I don’t know what to do. ”
“You’re being too cryptic. I can’t help you if you don’t give me more information.”
I frowned. “I can’t.”
Mom shrugged. “Then I can’t help you. But from the sounds of things, you need to pray about it and follow your heart. Do what you think God would want you to do.”
That was just it. I had no clue what God wanted me to do. While Wesley broke one of the Ten Commandments, I didn’t. Technically, I didn’t know who it was, and I didn’t see his actual thingy inside of her, so saying otherwise would have been bearing false witness. Right?
“I’ll pray about it,” I mumbled.
“Come help set the table. Dinner is almost done,” Mom called, heading toward the stairs.
Two seconds later, Eve poked her head into my room. “Where did you get that guitar?”
I looked up, twisting my lips for a beat. “Shut my door,” I whispered.
She frowned and spun on her heel shutting the door.
I hopped off the bed and quickly opened it. “I meant to stay in my room and shut the door.”
Eve’s lips parted into a silent “oh,” and she slipped back into my room and shut the door. My sixteen-year-old sister wasn’t my first choice when I had a secret, but in a pinch, she worked.
I folded my hands at my mouth and mumbled past them. “I need to tell you something.”
“You’re pregnant.”
“What?” I winced, dropping my hands to my sides.
She shrugged. “Sorry. But Erin thinks you’ll end up pregnant since you’ve been dating Matt for so long, and sex is forbidden, but everyone gravitates toward the forbidden. ”
“I’m not pregnant.”
She widened her brown eyes. “But are you having sex? I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” Her nose wrinkled. “I want to have it.” Eve didn’t have a boyfriend, so I wasn’t sure who she wanted to have sex with.
I shook my head. “Eve, just ... focus. I need to tell someone what I saw, but I can’t tell Matt or Mom and Dad. And I don’t know if I can tell Heather since she might have a crush on Matt’s brother, but I’m losing my mind. I have to tell someone.”
“What?” Eve whispered, leaning forward, eyes unblinking.
“The guitar,” I nodded toward it, “is Isaac’s. He let me borrow it. And when I went up to his room to get it from his closet, I heard something.” I covered my face with my hands, feeling second-hand embarrassment. “Wesley Cory was having sex with another woman,” I mumbled behind my hands.
“What?” Eve said, grabbing my wrists to pull my hands away from my face.
Pressing my lips together, I bobbed my head. “Matt’s dad is cheating on his mom,” I whispered.
Eve’s eyes tried to pop out of their sockets while her jaw unhinged.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“You have to tell Matt,” she said.
I shook my head. “I can’t do that. It would ruin their family. And Wesley would find out it was me who ratted him out. We live on his land, in a house he owns, and there have been so many times that I know Mom and Dad haven’t had the full amount of rent, but Wesley overlooks it because Dad is his pastor and I’m dating Matt. ”
“I don’t know.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t know what to tell you to do. This is awful. But you have to tell someone.”
I chewed on my thumbnail. “What if I don’t have to tell anyone? It’s not my job to be the moral police. You know? Thou shalt not judge. I should leave that to God. We’ve all done things we wished we wouldn’t have done. How would you like it if someone called you out every time you made a mistake? If Wesley feels guilty, then he’ll confess. But it’s not like he’s breaking the law. Had I found a dead body in their house, I would say something.”
“Sarah,” Eve rolled her eyes. “You have to say something. If Matt finds out you knew and said nothing, he’ll break up with you. And he may never forgive you.”
“Well, I’ve only told you, so if he finds out I knew, I’ll know who told him.” I crossed my arms and eyed her with a hard gaze.
“If Matt knew Dad was cheating on Mom, would you want him to tell you?”
Had she asked me that a week earlier, I would have said yes. But I was no longer a doe-eyed virgin. “No.” I tipped up my chin.
Eve scoffed. “You can’t be serious.”
“There are some things nobody should want to know. Mom should want to know if Dad is cheating on her, but I don’t think she’d want us to know. I believe Violet would feel the same way. I think she’d be mortified if she found out I saw him in bed with another woman. So you can’t say anything. I just had to tell someone. Can you be a grownup about this and keep it between us?”
“Duh.” She rolled her eyes again. “Yes. I can keep your secret. But it doesn’t mean I agree with your decision. And if you tell anyone that you told me, I will deny it.”
I sat on the end of my bed and picked up the guitar. “I’m not telling anyone.” I plucked the strings. “It’s sad when the feelings you have for someone change and you don’t know why.” I closed my eyes and envisioned Isaac’s fingers, their placement, and their even-caressing of each string.
“You think Matt’s dad doesn’t love his mom anymore?”
I opened my eyes while my fingers kept playing. “No. I think he loves her. I just think he loves her differently.”
“What if she never finds out? What if she wastes the rest of her life with him, thinking he’s being loyal to her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Which is more important, honesty or kindness?”
“I think you should be both kind and honest.”
I grinned. “Yes, in a perfect world. But we don’t live in a perfect world, so is one always the right answer? If the kind answer to something is not the honest one, which do you want?”
“Which do you want?” she asked.
I thought of all the things Isaac said to me and how they made me feel, especially the things he said that made me feel good and I questioned his sincerity. I felt such a high that I didn’t want to know if he was being honest with me. “Depends,” I said. “But I can’t ask Violet if she wants to know if Wesley is cheating on her. And nobody’s going to ask me, so it’s not like I’m lying. I didn’t want to see that. I don’t want this responsibility.”
Eve grunted. “So you’re sharing the burden with me?”
I smirked. “Exactly.”
“Who taught you to play that?” She nodded to the guitar .
“Isaac.”
“Dad said we should keep an eye on Isaac. He knows the Army probably helped him, but he thinks Isaac might not be the best influence. I heard him tell Mom that he’s worried Isaac might rub off on Matt.”
I didn’t respond.
“But he’s really cute.” Eve bit her lip.
I stopped playing and shot my gaze to Eve and her flushed cheeks.
“Matt’s cute too, but Isaac is manly.” She sighed heavily. “Those tattoos. And he’s a rebel.”
I laughed. She wasn’t wrong. But I knew Matt would be much different in six years. He would be manly too.
“I’m sad for Matt’s family,” Eve said just before opening the door.
My smile faded. “Me too.”