Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
THE TIME, “JUNGLE LOVE”
The next day, I started my job at the farm stand. Matt had baseball practice most days, and he was working at a camp for younger kids. Violet showed me the ropes and told me to call the house if there were any issues. Wesley stopped by mid-morning to check on me, and over lunch, Satan delivered several dozen eggs for the stand.
“Hey,” Isaac said, setting the crate of boxes on the counter and wiping his dirty brow with his sleeve before adjusting his cowboy hat.
I shot him a quick smile and arranged the boxes of eggs on the shelves by the coolers. “Listen, Heather is my friend, so aside from not getting her hooked on cigarettes, could you not impregnate her?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I took her to a movie so Matty could get his dick wet with you. ”
I turned, crossing my arms. “You kissed.”
He twisted his lips for a beat. “Is that what she said?”
I nodded.
“I see. Well, no babies were conceived. Happy?” He glanced at his watch. “How was Matty last night? Satisfying?”
I averted my gaze before turning my back to fiddle with the jars of honey that were already perfectly aligned.
“Will I need to get him another box of condoms by the end of the week?”
“He has three games this week plus camps, and your dad will keep him busy the rest of the time. So …” I shrugged while contemplating if the infused honey needed to be alphabetized.
“That bad, huh?”
I turned, narrowing my eyes. “I didn’t say that.”
Isaac scratched his jaw. “You didn’t have to. If it was good, you’d find time and space. You’d crave it like your next breath. He’d be on your mind twenty-four seven, and you’d risk everything to be with him. Your hands would itch to touch him the way they yearn to wrap around my guitar.”
I slid the crate toward him. “I’m not sure anything will feel the way your guitar felt. So don’t tell Matt that music is my first love.” I winked, trying to play it off like a joke.
He took the crate. “I’ll talk to him.”
“No!” I rammed my hip into the counter, trying to get around it to stop him, but Katie Pedersen and her two young boys opened the door.
“Pardon me,” Isaac said to them, holding the door.
I shot him a look, but he just smirked and strutted away with the crate dangling from his hand as the door swung shut.
Four hours later, I locked up the farm stand and carried the keys and the money down the lane to drop off at the house.
“Sarah,” Matt said, startling me as he jogged up behind me, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind the garage.
“What are you?—”
He kissed me, humming into my mouth as one hand cupped my breast like it did the previous night. Matt’s eagerness felt like he couldn’t get enough of me—like he craved me as much as his next breath.
And I wanted to feel that too, but I didn’t. Sex ruined everything. I couldn’t enjoy his touch out of fear that it would lead to more. And I didn’t know how long I could fake it. Could I hold out for the summer? After all, hookers did it for a living. Surely, I could do it for the summer—without pay, of course.
“I have to clean out a few stalls, but then I’ll shower, and we can go for a drive,” he said breathlessly.
I found a fake smile just as Isaac rode his horse toward the gray barn. I couldn’t see his expression under his cowboy hat, but I knew he was watching us.
Matt ducked his head and sucked the skin along my neck while guiding my hand to the bulge in his jeans—and Isaac watched everything.
“Why haven’t I ever seen you ride a horse?” I asked.
Matt released my hand and lifted his head, confusion etched into his brow. “Because I don’t ride horses that often. I’m more of a tractor person.”
“Why does Isaac?”
“Because he likes horses, herding animals, and he ropes. ”
I thought of him lassoing me at graduation with my cords.
“Ropes?” I asked.
“At rodeos. He competes in calf roping for prize money,” Matt replied. “He did it in high school, and he’s practicing to compete again. Why?”
“No reason. Just curious.”
“I’ll pick you up after dinner around seven. Okay?”
“Call me first. I have to check with my mom. I might have to help prepare some arts and crafts kits for Vacation Bible School.”
He frowned. “Okay. Even if it’s later, I don’t care. I just need to take a ride.” He grinned.
“Take a ride” was our new sex code.
My smile felt fake, but Matt didn’t seem to notice. He kissed me one last time and strutted toward the red sheep barn. I waited until he was out of sight, then jogged to the gray barn where Isaac took his horse.
I passed two stalls with ponies before reaching Isaac in the last stall, where he removed his horse's saddle.
“What is it, Sunday Morning?” he asked as if he had eyes in the back of his head.
“Please don’t say anything to Matt. I was joking earlier.”
“I don’t think you were.” He carried the saddle through a door to the tack room and rested it on a stand.
I followed him. “Can you just stay out of my business?”
“Says the girl who begged me to play her favorite song over and over.” He turned, tucking his hands into his back pockets. “So what’s it going to be? Are we going to be in each other’s business this summer or not?”
Everything that escaped Isaac Cory’s mouth sounded sexual .
“Are you saying you’re going to let me play your guitar again?”
“Depends.” He shrugged.
“On what?”
“What are you going to do for me?”
“I’ll pray for you. Preachers’ daughters’ prayers carry more weight than the average person’s. Should I pray for you to quit smoking or for your salvation?”
The corner of his mouth quirked into a half grin as amusement sparkled in his eyes. “Why do you want me to quit smoking so badly? Will your heart break if I die of cancer? Or do you secretly want to kiss me?”
I scoffed while surveying the area behind me, looking and listening for signs of Wesley, Matt, or anyone else. “I secretly want to kill you and steal your guitar, but you know the rules. Number six: Thou shalt not kill. And number eight: Thou shalt not steal. Or maybe you don’t know the rules.” I shrugged.
“I know the tenth commandment is Thou shalt not covet. And I’ve been breaking that one a lot lately,” he said.
“How so?” I asked as Isaac physically brushed past me.
“Sunday Morning, I’ve been coveting the fuck out of you since Easter Sunday,” he said, strolling out of the barn.
I died and went straight to Hell.
I needed a best friend, but since Heather kissed Isaac, I wasn’t sure I could tell her what he said in the barn, even though she said he didn’t seem interested in her. And I couldn’t tell any of my other friends because I didn’t trust anyone like I trusted Heather .
But I was dying to tell someone.
Why did he say that? Maybe he didn’t know what the word covet meant. But that made little sense. Isaac was a valedictorian.
It had to be part of his game. Isaac loved making people squirm and irritating them. He was an expert bear-poker.
“Sarah?” Eve yelled. “Matt’s on the phone!”
I ran to my bedroom from the hall bathroom and picked it up. Then I composed myself, letting out a slow breath and finding my weakest voice. “Hello,” I said as if I were on my last breath.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“No. I started my period. And I have terrible cramps.” I hadn’t started my period, but I needed an excuse to stay home. I couldn’t have sex and sort through the meaning of Isaac’s statement on the same day. But mostly, I couldn’t have sex again. How did all of those married women do it? It had to be a sacrifice as honorable as serving one’s country—a physical invasion all in the name of procreation. Ensuring the survival of humanity. Women weren’t simply loyal soldiers to a country; we were the Davids of the world, and sex was our Goliath.
“That sucks,” Matt said. “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” I faked a little groan at the end. “But you are sweet for asking.”
“I love you,” he said with disappointment in his words, like loving me was his consolation prize for the day.
I groaned, holding my stomach as if he could see me.
“Is it inconsiderate of me to ask how long it lasts?”
I flopped back onto my bed with my legs dangling over the side while I pinched the bridge of my nose. “You could never be inconsiderate. And it just depends. A week … maybe two.”
My periods were five days, but I was supposed to get my real period the following week, so I had to build in some extra time.
“I feel like in school, they said a week was the norm. If you’re having it for two weeks, maybe you should get it checked out.”
I rolled my eyes. Why did my boyfriend have to be so smart? He remembered how long a woman’s menstrual cycle lasted, but he didn’t remember the location of the clitoris?
“You’re right. I hope nothing is wrong with me,” I said, figuring I might buy even more time if he thought I was having serious female issues. “Maybe we should wait until I get things checked out.”
“You should ask your mom.”
“Maybe,” I said, staring at the speckled texture on the ceiling that had a yellowish-brown stain from a roof leak. “Did you ask Isaac to take Heather to a movie so we could … you know?”
“No. Why?”
“Well, when he dropped off eggs at the farm stand, he said that’s why he took her to the movie. When’s the last time he had a girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. He’s been in the Army. I suppose he might have met someone and had something short, but nothing we ever heard anything about. Why do you ask?”
“I just wondered if he’s ever been serious about anyone or anything for that matter.”
“He’s loyal to the family and the ranch. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for our parents,” Matt said, and it made me pause for a moment. Was he defending his brother ?
“Funny.” I chuckled. “He calls you PC.”
“PC?”
“Perfect child.”
“Well, I’m not anymore,” Matt said, and I didn’t miss his suggestive tone.
I imagined him waggling his eyebrows.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but you weren’t perfect before we did it. ”
“Duh. Yes, I know, Sarah.”
“Listen, I’m going to bed early. Okay?”
“Hope you feel better soon. Love you.”
“Thanks, bye.” I hung up the phone and flopped back down onto my bed to stare at the ceiling. I said “thank you” as a reply to his “I love you.” Was that bad of me? Or was I the mature one who stuck to our plans? I didn’t have the focus to figure it out because I was too busy thinking about Isaac coveting me.