Chapter 29 - Callum
TWENTY-NINE
Callum
Zandra was quiet in the seat beside me on the way to our next destination. She’d been subdued ever since leaving the brewery and saying goodbye to my friends and family.
I wasn’t worried about that though. Just meant I’d given her a lot to think about. Right? If Zandra wasn’t actively glowering at me or grumping, then I figured I was in the clear.
The visit to the brewery couldn’t have gone better. Seemed to me like she’d had a great time, especially when she came to join in on playing lawn games and Stella finally warmed up to her.
At one point, Zandra sat on the grass and Stella came right over to lick all over her face. I mean, who could blame Stella? Z’s face was pretty irresistible.
I’d also gotten a little status report from Piper, who said things were looking positive on the Zandra front.
I was in a great place. Phase one of my mission was complete, and phase two was a go.
“Not even going to ask where we’re going?” I glanced over at her as I drove. We’d just taken a turn away from the route that would’ve led us back to Silver Ridge.
“Would you tell me if I did?”
“Ah, you’re learning.”
Zandra punched me in the bicep. “Ow,” I complained as I laughed. I had deserved that. I reached for her hand and tangled our fingers together. “Don’t stress. You’re going to love our first date.”
Her fingers tightened on mine. “What about the cooking lesson? Surprised you don’t claim that was our first date. Retroactively or something.”
She was going for a sarcastic tone, but I knew her well enough by now to hear the nerves underneath it. Which just meant I had to do all the more to soothe her and make this perfect.
I brought her hand up to kiss her knuckles. “The cooking lesson would’ve made a good first date. But good isn’t enough for me. I’m going for best ever.”
“It’s wise you don’t set your expectations too high for yourself.”
“I know. I would hate to be disappointed, but it hasn’t happened yet.”
The truck bumped along as we drove down a dirt road. The sun was setting, so we would have some ideal colors while I was setting things up.
We were really out in the middle of nowhere now. I pulled onto an even tinier road, past a bunch of no trespassing signs.
“You do have permission to be here, right?” she asked.
“I’m not that reckless. This land is owned by one of the other guys who volunteers for SRFD. I cleared it with him, so we’ll have about five acres all to ourselves.”
The road wound through grassy fields and stands of aspens overlooking the foothills. When I got to an open space, I pulled my truck to the side and parked.
Zandra looked around, the soft sound of her inhale filling the quiet. “This is… Callum, it’s beautiful.”
We were in a meadow full of wild sunflowers. Thousands upon thousands of them. Stems and leaves tangled, yellow petals adding splashes of color everywhere we looked.
“I’ve been here a few times in past summers. You’re my Sunflower, so I thought this would be the perfect spot for you.”
She looked up at me, those dark eyes so full of emotion that she usually didn’t let people see. Sometimes not even me.
Yeah, I was pretty sure she liked it.
“I’ll grab our things, and then we can get this party started.” I got out of the truck and opened the tailgate, climbing up to grab a plastic container that held most of what I needed. Plus an insulated bag from the backseat.
There was a clearing in the meadow where someone had built a fire pit years ago.
Logs surrounded the fire area for seating, weathered but still solid.
I carried the plastic container onto the cleared area of dirt and knelt to unpack it.
“I thought we’d have a campfire. The full Silver Ridge experience.
Supplies for lighting the fire, check. Plus a fire extinguisher and fire blanket in case any issues arise, because… ” I pointed to myself.
“Firefighter. Right. Good to know it’s safety first around here.”
“Always. Then we have our plaid wool blanket in case it gets chilly, check. In our insulated bag, s’mores supplies and a thermos of spiked cocoa. Check.”
“You thought of everything.”
“Tried to.” I stood up, closing the distance between us and holding on to her shoulders.
“I wanted to check in with you though. This isn’t the same place we held the bonfire party back in high school.
But if this brings up anything negative for you, thinking about that night, we can do something else. ”
I’d known it could be a risk bringing Zandra here if it triggered bad memories, but at the same time, it had just seemed right. Almost like this was something we needed to do.
She put her hands on my chest, smoothing them down my T-shirt. “No, this will be nice. Let’s do it.”
Zandra and I collected kindling, and I grabbed a few pieces of firewood and got started setting up the pit. Within fifteen minutes or so, we had the start of a decent blaze.
I grabbed the insulated bag and sat with her on one of the logs, draping the plaid blanket around us.
As the sunset filled the sky with pink and orange, the flames rose higher, and the sunflowers danced with an evening breeze.
I poured some spiked cocoa in a single cup, sharing sips between us. The sugar and chocolate went down smooth, and the bourbon added just enough of a burn to keep things interesting. Just like Z.
“It’s an excellent first date,” she murmured. I had my arm around her beneath the blanket as we both stared out at the landscape.
“I’m still going for best. I’ll see what I can do.”
S’mores were next. We cleaned off some sticks, then stuck marshmallows on them to roast. We both laughed as I fed her, then licked sticky marshmallow and melting chocolate from my fingers. Which led to us kissing. Sharing that sweet flavor and enjoying the fact that we had nowhere else to be.
It was just us out here for acres and acres. Nothing to intrude on our privacy. We snuggled up again and just watched the fire crackle for a while in comfortable silence.
I wasn’t usually the type to stay quiet for long, but with Zandra, I really didn’t mind it. It was just peaceful. Nice.
It was Zandra who finally spoke up. “For a long time, I couldn’t even think about that night.”
I knew exactly which night she meant. I rubbed her back and waited for her to say more.
“The police made me talk about it over and over and over. And then the way people didn’t want to be around me after… Looking back, I realize that was more about me pushing people away. But then the rumors started, and Tommy said what he did, and I blamed you. I’m sorry for that.”
I shifted to see her better. The firelight caught in her eyes. “Z, you don’t have to apologize to me for anything.”
“But I was so mean to you when I came back.”
“It’s all right. Turns out I liked it. Does that make me a masochist or something?”
She snickered. “I don’t think so. I think you just like a challenge. And no other woman gave you one before.”
“You might be right.” Even though my attraction to Zandra went so far beyond anything so simple as being competitive. “I wish I’d been able to know you like this back then.”
“If I’d gone to the bonfire party?” She said this lightly, but a sharp pang of guilt hit me in the chest.
So many years ago, and this was still weighing on me.
“Z, there’s something I need to say. I wish I could take back everything that happened the day Jessa died, including my part in it. If you’d been at the bonfire party…”
“If Jessa dying wasn’t my fault, then it definitely wasn’t yours.”
“I know. This isn’t about me at all. But I just want you to know, if I could go back and take away how much you were hurting afterward, make it even a tiny bit better, I would do fucking anything to make that happen. You are so amazing, and you deserved a lot better.”
She sniffed. Wiped roughly at the corner of her eye. “You’re going to make me cry.”
“If you do, I’ll kiss away every one of your tears.” I leaned in and kissed her gently, tasting the salt on her lips, and she buried her face against my neck afterward.
“When I left Silver Ridge, I put all those memories in a box. But that meant shutting down the good memories of Jessa too.” She took a shaky breath. “It’s been coming back since I came home. Like when we were at my parents’ house, and I looked through that old box of stuff I’d kept.”
“The broken window and that sick note someone left you didn’t help.”
“No. It didn’t.”
It still filled me with rage that someone had been actively harassing her after Jessa’s death. Someone who still didn’t want Zandra to get over the past, even now. Whether it was Tommy Pickering or whoever, if I got enough proof, that person was going to be very sorry.
She swallowed hard, and when she spoke again, her voice broke.
“It’s just a few weeks until the anniversary of her death.
Another year of her being gone. I want to be able to look back and not hurt.
I want to let go of that night, even if I’ll never fully understand what happened.
And I have to think Jessa would want that too. ”
“Baby. Of course she would. I’m sure she loved you. Anyone who gets to know you, who sees you for how brilliant and strong you really are, wouldn’t be able to help it.”
She was holding tight to me, shaking. “My parents don’t think so.”
“Then fuck them. I’m crazy about everything I see in you. That’s why I asked you out and introduced you to my family. Because I’m pretty fucking wild about you.”
Her eyes were wide in the firelight. “But this thing between us was supposed to end when one of us got the general manager job. Coworkers with benefits, Callum. That’s the deal we made.”
“Then I’m negotiating a new one.”
“But you can’t do that.”
I held her chin in my fingers. “Baby, you just watch me.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m going to keep treating you so good, doing everything in my power to make you happy, that you can’t help giving in.” I added my most charming smile. “Because I know you want to.”