16. Ella
16
ELLA
Wednesday afternoon, Asher invited me to help him pick out his tux. Even though I felt completely confused about our relationship, I wasn’t going to challenge his request. I finished up the article I was writing about Mrs. Graham’s granddaughter’s wedding announcement and hurried out of my apartment.
I drove to The Gentleman’s Attire in Eden. When I was two minutes from the store, Asher texted me that he was at a showing with a client and it had run long. He apologized for being late, and I responded by telling him not to worry. I had a book on my phone, and I would just read until he got there.
I parked in the back corner spot and shut off the engine. I slid my seat back so I could bring my left foot up to rest on the cushion. I tried to read my book, but my mind was too jumbled with thoughts of Asher. The memory of his hands on me during our dance at the bar was as poignant as the moment it happened. My heart pounded every time I thought about that night.
He was invading my thoughts so much that I was now dreaming about him.
I felt like I was in the nine circles of hell.
Perhaps it was the masochistic part of my brain, but I’d convinced myself that if I just saw him, these feelings would subside and I would remember that he was my best friend. I feared what these feelings meant. I wasn’t ready to face them and preferred running from them instead.
I was staring out the window when I saw Asher’s truck waiting to take a left at the stoplight in front of me. I could see the outline of his profile and my heart instantly picked up speed. My body felt light as I watched him turn and then disappear as he drove to the entrance of the parking lot.
I stared at my hands in front of me, hating that I felt this conflicted. Ever since he came back to Harmony with Coralie, my nerves and emotions had gone haywire. I felt like I was slowly losing my mind. It was torture.
I startled when he pulled into the parking spot next to me. His gaze caught mine through the window, and he waved before he pulled open his driver’s door. I did the same, mentally shushing my heart and willing my body to return to a normal temperature.
“Hey,” he said as he rounded the bed of his truck. “I hope you weren’t waiting long.” He gave me a half smile before he pushed his hand through his hair.
“I wasn’t waiting long,” I lied. I had, in fact, been waiting thirty minutes.
He waited for me to join him, his eyes narrowed. “Why do I get the impression that you’re lying to me?” His tone was teasing as he leaned closer to me.
Suddenly, I was acutely aware of where he was, and more importantly, how close he was to me. My senses seemed heightened by his presence, and I was noticing things that I had never noticed before. Like his cologne. Since when did Asher smell this good?
“El?” he asked, and his voice pulled me from my thoughts.
“Hmm?” I asked as I glanced up at him to see that he was studying me.
“You okay?”
No. I wasn’t okay. I was certain that I was losing my mind. I shouldn’t be this attuned to him. I shouldn’t care where he was or who he was staring at, but my brain didn’t care about what I should do. It was having a field day doing whatever it wanted, and in this moment it wanted to focus all of my energy on interpreting my best friend’s every move.
It was exhausting.
“Yeah.” I forced a big smile. “I’m doing great.”
Asher paused, and his eyes narrowed as he studied me. Thankfully, he just nodded and extended his hand toward the storefront. “I’m glad you agreed to join me,” he said, following close behind me as we crossed the parking lot.
I decided to put all of my focus on getting to the front door of the shop so I could get away from him as soon as possible. Once we were inside, I could pull away and give myself some time to truly digest what was happening between us.
Deep down, I had a sinking suspicion that I knew exactly what was going on, but I was too scared to allow myself to acknowledge what my feelings meant. I needed some space and time to process.
Asher held the door open for me as I entered the shop. I kept my gaze forward even though every cell in my body was drawn to him. I wanted to peek over to see if he was looking at me, too, but I fought that urge. I was going to keep my attention on why we were here. To get him a tux so he could look good as the groom…for his wedding.
That thought was like an ice bath to my emotions.
Asher was engaged to another woman, and he seemed to have every intention of marrying her come Saturday.
My stomach twisted at that thought. I was losing Asher in just a few short days.
An older man, about fifty, started walking toward us. He was wearing a suit, and his black hair was slick against his forehead. “Good evening. I am Ralph. How can I help you two?”
“Asher Wolfe. I have an appointment.”
Ralph nodded. “Yes, Mr. Wolfe. We’ve been waiting for you.” He extended out his hand. “Right this way.”
Asher started to follow Ralph, so I followed behind Asher. I could hear their small talk as we walked through the racks of suits to the back, where a pedestal stood surrounded by mirrors.
“Oh, this isn’t my fiancée.” Asher’s voice broke through my thoughts. I glanced up to see him shaking his head. “This is my best man.”
Ralph did a double take. “Best man?” he asked as he eyed me.
“Ella’s my best friend,” Asher said.
We were standing in a small circle in the fitting area. Ralph was studying me, and I could see his questions forming on his face. Not wanting to get into the nuances, I just smiled at him. “Can I grab one of those chairs?” I asked, nodding toward the row of chairs to the left.
“Sure,” Ralph said. “Do you not need a tux as you are the best man?”
“I’ll probably wear a dress,” I said with a smile. And then I suddenly realized that I needed a dress. I’d been obsessing over articles and why every time I was around Asher, I didn’t feel right. I’d completely forgotten that I needed a dress.
“Crap,” I whispered under my breath.
“Everything okay?” I glanced up to see that Asher had stepped closer to me, his eyebrows knit together.
I forced a smile. “Everything’s great. I just…” I shook my head and offered him an apologetic smile. “I just forgot that I need a dress. I’m your best man, and yet I have nothing to wear.”
“There’s a bridal store next door. I’m sure they’ll have something,” Ralph offered as he pulled out a tape measure and started taking Asher’s measurements.
“Bridal store?”
“They have more than just wedding gowns.”
“We can go after we’re done here,” Asher offered as he raised his arms so Ralph could measure his wingspan.
Feeling better about the situation, I nodded and made my way over to the chairs. I busied myself on my phone as Ralph escorted Asher to the dressing room, carrying a few suits on hangers with him.
A few minutes later, the dressing room door opened and movement drew my attention. My entire body froze as I stared at Asher. He was adjusting the cuffs of his tuxedo as he walked toward me. He hadn’t lifted his gaze yet to notice that I was watching him.
His blonde hair was tousled, and the white shirt accented his tanned skin. The tux hugged him so perfectly, it was like it had been made for him. My heart picked up speed as he raised his gaze to meet mine. The black jacket made his eyes appear darker as he held my gaze.
Could he hear my heartbeat? It was pounding so hard in my ears that I feared the whole world could hear it. Why was I reacting this way to him? It was almost as if…I closed my eyes. Oh no. No. Not now. Why?
Was I in love with Asher?
I shook my head. There had to be another reason why my body was reacting this way. Maybe, I was just coming down with something. That had to be it. I was sick. In a few days I was going to feel better…right?
Wrong. In a few days, Asher was going to be married. He would no longer be my best friend, and that thought made my stomach do flips.
“Oh no,” Asher’s soft voice pulled my gaze to his. “Is it that bad?” He turned to Ralph. “El is closing her eyes. It has to be bad.” He had approached the pedestal now. Once he was standing on it, he turned to look at himself in the mirror.
“I like it,” I said. My voice felt hoarse from all the emotions coursing through me.
He met my gaze through the mirror. “You do?” he asked, his lips tugging up into a smile.
I nodded. “I think you look great.”
He held my gaze, his expression stilling. Silence fell between us, and I feared that he could sense what I was desperately trying to hide from him. That I was the stupid one who had fallen for him after he got into a committed relationship.
Why couldn’t I have felt this way sooner?
Ralph clapped his hands, startling the two of us into looking over at him. “I would have told your best man she was crazy if she thought that this tuxedo was not made for you.” Ralph stepped up to Asher and started brushing the jacket with his hands. “I don’t even think we need to tailor this. It’s perfection.”
Asher turned his attention back over to me. He gave me a soft smile before he focused on his reflection.
Needing some way to burn off this nervous energy, I stood and walked up to him. “So, Asher Wolfe, are you saying yes to the tux?” I asked as I stood behind him, meeting his gaze in the mirror.
He studied me before returning his attention to his reflection. “I think I am.”
Ralph cheered and then ushered Asher back to the dressing room. I spent the next few minutes perusing the items around the seating area while I waited. Ralph took the tux as soon as Asher opened the dressing room door and informed him that he’d be waiting at the register for him.
Asher thanked him and then scanned the room. As soon as his gaze fell on me, a smile emerged, and my heart sang. Seeing his smile was like drinking hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night. Or eating chicken noodle soup when you don’t feel well. It was familiar and felt like…home.
There was so much about Asher that I was going to miss once he was married. More so now that I finally realized I might have feelings for him too.
But he was engaged. He was going to marry Coralie. He’d fallen out of love with me and in love with her. I could only imagine how angry he would be if I tried to confess my feelings now. It would tank our already strained relationship, and I would be officially severed from my best friend.
I didn’t want that.
“Are you ready for your dress?” he asked, rubbing his hands together as he approached me.
I nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
I followed behind him as he made his way over to Ralph at the register. I fiddled with my purse strap as he finished paying and then took the garment bag that Ralph had prepped.
We made a stop at his truck so he could unload the tux and not risk ruining it by carrying it around with him. I led the way as we headed over to Grace and Lace. Soft classical music was playing when I pulled open the door and stepped inside.
An older woman with graying hair pulled back into a loose bun and glasses acknowledged us with a big smile. “I’ll be with you in just a moment,” she said in a singsong voice.
I nodded. “Thanks.” I turned to study Asher, who was looking around the shop. His shoulders were tense, and I could tell that he felt out of place. I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable, but I wasn’t sure what to say to fix that. Our relationship had been so strange lately, but now, it felt foreign.
The strained, silent air between us got the better of me, and I finally cracked. “Are you excited to see Coralie soon?”
Asher glanced over at me. “Huh?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Coralie. Are you excited to see her?”
Acknowledgment passed over his face, and he began to nod. “Yeah. Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Of course.”
I walked over to a beaded wedding dress and ran my fingers across the material. “I can’t believe that, in just a few short days, you’re going to be married.” My voice slowly drifted off. Emotions were getting the better of me and choking out my ability to speak.
“I know, it’s crazy, right?”
I glanced over to see him push his hand through his hair before he blew his breath out. “What are your plans once you’re married?”
It was strange to me that Asher didn’t really talk about their future. It was like he was living for Saturday, but after that, their future was unknown. I’d never heard him mention their plans for marital bliss. Were they going to live here or in New York?
Why wasn’t he sharing these details with me?
When he didn’t answer me right away, I glanced back at him. Did he hear me? Was he ignoring me? He was staring at the ground as if he were chewing on my words but wasn’t sure how to respond.
It was strange. After all, their plans once they were a married couple shouldn’t be a sensitive topic. Had he not thought about this?
“I…um.” He glanced over at me. “I think we’re going back to New York for a bit. Her dad…we just want to spend some time with her family.”
My heart ached at the thought of him leaving. How long was a bit? Were they planning on coming back to live in Harmony permanently? Or was he officially out of my life come Saturday?
My mind was swirling with questions, and yet, I couldn’t find the strength to ask any of them. I feared he would pound the final nail into the coffin of our friendship if I forced him to answer, so I decided to keep my fears to myself. It was safer that way.
“I’m so sorry to keep you two lovebirds waiting.” The shop owner’s voice had both of us turning to face her.
My entire body heated as I glanced back at Asher, who looked equally uncomfortable.
“We’re not…I mean, I’m not the bride,” I said as I went from waving my hand between Asher and me to just pointing at my chest so the woman knew exactly who I was talking about.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. “Is this your brother?” She glanced over at Asher.
“Not family. We’re just friends.”
She frowned as she glanced between Asher and me. “Fun. I don’t get many opposite sex friends in the shop.” She clasped her hands together. “What are you looking to get, honey?”
“I need a dress for his wedding,” I said as I half-heartedly waved at Asher.
“His wedding?” She glanced at Asher from over her glasses. “Are you a bridesmaid?”
I shook my head. “I’m the best man.”
“The…best man.”
This was the worst conversation ever. Not only did this woman seem skeptical of everything I was saying, but she had this look in her eyes like she knew better. Like she could sense that there was something between Asher and me that neither of us wanted to admit.
It was torture.
I mustered all the courage I could and faced the woman head-on. “That’s right. I need a dress to be his best man.”
“I understand.” She gave me a soft smile. “Is there a particular style? Color?”
I glanced over at Asher. “What’re your wedding colors?” My brain seemed to have stopped working.
He raised his gaze to meet mine, his face paling at my question. “What?” he asked.
“Your wedding colors. What are they?”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple rising and falling. It was as if I’d backed him into a corner and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. “I…um…”
“Don’t worry, honey. Most grooms don’t know. Do you have a wedding planner you can call?”
“Shelby,” I blurted out as I moved to grab my phone from my purse.
Me: What are Coralie’s wedding colors? At a bridal shop to get a best man dress. Asher doesn’t remember.
Shelby: Coral, white, and cream
I responded with a thumbs-up emoji before I slipped my phone back into my purse and turned to face the shop owner.
“Coral, white, and cream,” I recited off.
“Wonderful.” She adjusted her glasses, and she ran her gaze over me. “Any particular style or cut?”
I shook my head, exhaustion taking over. I was honestly ready to get this over with and be done with wedding plans for the day. I needed some space from Asher to let my heart officially break.
“I’ve got some ideas of what would look good on you. Follow me,” she said as she started walking toward the far-right wall where different color dresses were hung up on racks. “Name’s Nancy,” she said from over her shoulder.
“Ella.” I glanced back to see that Asher was a few steps behind us. “And the groom is Asher.”
“It’s nice to meet you two.” She was standing in front of the row of dresses and looked as if she were searching for something in particular. “Asher, if you want to go find a seat by the pedestal, we’ll come out as soon as we have something to show you.”
“Okay,” Asher said, turning to walk toward the area that Nancy had indicated.
Now alone, I stood off to the side and watched as Nancy pulled a few different styles of coral dresses.
“I think these will do just fine,” she said as she waved for me to follow.
When we got to the dressing rooms, Nancy hung the dresses inside and then paused before asking if I needed any assistance. I shook my head, and she told me she would be right outside in case I needed help with a zipper.
Once she’d cleared the door to the dressing room, I shut and locked it before I sighed. In just a few moments, I was going to be picking out a dress for Asher’s wedding…to Coralie.
My stomach sank like a rock.
I didn’t want to try on anything, but I also knew that people were waiting for me, so I finally found the energy to undress and slip on a spaghetti strap dress. As soon as I had the dress on, I wanted to cry. It was perfect. It was made out of a lightweight material that was gathered over each breast and then flowed from my waist to my feet.
It was everything I would have wanted in a wedding dress, just coral instead of white.
I turned from side to side, marveling in the daintiness of the straps and loving the open back. It was so flowy and feminine; I hated that it was going to be marred with the memory of my best friend marrying another woman.
“Everything okay?” Nancy asked as she knocked on the door.
“Yeah,” I whispered as I moved to unlock the door and pull it open.
Nancy’s eyes widened as her gaze fell on me. “I’m a genius,” she said, her voice low and breathy. “That dress was made for you.”
I just nodded, fearing the way my voice would sound if I spoke. Nancy reached out and grabbed my hand.
“Let’s go show your friend,” she said, and before I could stop her, Nancy was dragging me through the dressing rooms and over to the pedestal where Asher was sitting.
At first, he didn’t see me. He had his head down and was tapping away at his phone like he was writing an email. But as he glanced up, my heart took off racing. All I wanted to do was run back to the dressing room and hide.
As soon as he looked up, I realized he was the only man I ever wanted to look at me like that again.