32. Dylan
thirty-two
Dylan
I leave Poppy’s apartment feeling like the world has tipped underneath my feet. This whole situation has stopped Poppy from believing in that happily ever after she’s wanted all her life, and I’m not even sure she realizes it. It’s like she already accepted that Daisy won’t get over this. That I’ll give up on her. That I’ll leave her behind.
But that’s never going to happen.
That glow Poppy has, that constant shimmer of hope in all kinds of circumstances, is dulled, and I’m determined to light her up again.
I check the time before I jump into my truck. Annalise has Izzy for a few more hours, and Daisy should be returning between trail rides sometime before that, so I decide to wait for her at the stables. I don’t care if Daisy ever forgives me. I can live with the consequences of my actions. But she will forgive Poppy. And she’ll support our relationship. Because I’m damn well going to marry Penelope Golightly, and I refuse to let love be the thing that tears my family apart.
My little sister has lived in her own head all her life. She’s used to getting her way, and I’ve tried to keep her path as smooth as I possibly could. I’ve let her be young for longer than she should have been. The baby of the family who was never burdened with worries or consequences. But it’s time for her to grow up. It’s time she understands that I’m capable of making my own decisions, and those decisions aren’t always going to be ones she likes. She needs to find a way to accept them anyway.
I’m aware that I’m freaking out, but it’s easier to be angry and defensive than it is to let myself worry that Poppy might run. If not physically—if for no other reason, I can’t imagine her disappearing on Izzy—then emotionally. And I can’t imagine living the rest of our lives in this town and not being together. I’ve gotten good at denying myself simple pleasures, but I’d never survive that kind of torture. Knowing Poppy is there, close enough to touch and kiss and love, and never allowed to do a single one of those things? Watching her with Izzy and knowing she’ll never be mine? Standing back while she achieves her dreams, maybe even falls in love with someone else…
Not. Going. To. Happen.
Then I wonder if it ever would. Poppy says she’s loved me for as long as she can remember, a secret crush that drove her from Aster Springs but kept her from moving on with another man. She’s handed me her heart like it’s some kind of gift, and I’m holding it with trembling hands. And while it’s too late to offer her years of unrequited love in return, I’m so sure that I’ve loved her harder and greater in the last few months than she loved me all the years before. She’s the one. I just need to find a way to make her see it.
I drive my truck around to the Silver Leaf Ranch entrance reserved for guests taking our guided trail rides and let myself into the stables feeling agitated and anxious, but the minute the smell of hay and horses hits my nostrils, something else enters my blood. A reminder of calm and laughter and Mom. It doesn’t ease my stress completely, but I’m suddenly thinking clearer.
I can’t be stupid and rash right now. I need to be the mature one. Responsible, like always. I need to fix this, not make it worse.
And Daisy’s in pain too.
Our stables were made to hold more than a dozen horses but less than half the stalls are occupied. Izzy’s sorrel gelding, which she insisted on calling Mabel, accepts my hand on his neck with a gentle whinny. Beside him, our retired gray rodeo pickup, Stallion Blanc, twitches his ears and stomps a hoof like he’s ready to be outside. On the opposite side of the wide aisle, our newest recruits—a smaller mount we named Pony Noir and a quiet Palomino Quarter horse called DeCanter—flick their tails and munch on mouthfuls of hay.
And in the open stall at the farthest end of the building stands Daisy’s golden mare. With five horses in the stable, that means Daisy isn’t out on a trail ride right now, and as I creep closer to Chardonneigh, I find my baby sister hiding behind her horse’s athletic frame.
“Go away,” she mutters, her words trembling as she strokes her horse’s withers.
Fuck. Her sadness knocks down my defenses. Chaos and mess, right? That’s what I wanted. That’s what I got.
I step around Chardonneigh and hold out my arms. “Daze…”
She glances at my offer, then away again.
“You lied to me,” she says. “Why would I let you hug me?”
“To say sorry?”
Daisy makes a show of watching her hand as she runs it over Chardonneigh’s coat, and I get the impression she’s avoiding looking at me directly. “Are you sorry that you lied to me? Or sorry you got caught?”
I pull on my shoulder, then drop my hand with a sigh. “For the lie. It was wrong.”
Daisy nods as she gently strokes her horse’s nose. “Yeah.”
“But I love her, Daze. I love her a lot.”
Finally, my sister raises her head, and I jump on the unspoken invitation to keep talking.
“You wanted me to find someone,” I remind her. “You’ve been hellbent on setting me up with women you thought were perfect for me. I’m more than a father with a business and a million responsibilities, remember?”
“I remember.”
“And you were the one who insisted that Poppy be Izzy’s nanny. If I had a time machine handy, we could go back to that night in the kitchen and replay the exact conversation.”
Daisy’s face brightens with her usual fire, and somewhere inside, I sigh with relief.
“Because Poppy is incredible,” she says. “Izzy adores her. It made sense.”
“Poppy is incredible,” I agree. “She loves Izzy with all her heart—and I love Poppy. You do get that, right? This isn’t a fling. It isn’t a temporary arrangement. It’s real, and I love her. I don’t want to not love her.”
“But Dylan. That’s the part that hurts so much.”
“What? That I love her?”
Tears fill Daisy’s eyes. “Yes! Don’t you think I love her too? Don’t you think I want to be part of this?”
“I—”
“No. Let me say this. It hurt to overhear my best friend confess her secret to someone she just met in the same breath she said she’s afraid of me.”
“ What? ”
Daisy wraps her arms around her body, giving herself the hug she rejected from me. “Poppy said she was afraid I wouldn’t think she’s good enough for my family and that she betrayed me by falling for you. Doesn’t she know me at all? My best friend—the person I’ve never lied to, never kept a secret from, never pretended to be anything I wasn’t—doesn’t trust me enough to tell me she loves you and doesn’t know me well enough to know I’ll dance on the table the day you make her my sister for real.”
Chardonneigh snorts and shakes her head, and Daisy gives her a final pat before she steps out of the stall, securing the gate behind her.
“Daisy,” I say again, only now starting to realize that I had it all wrong. My sister isn’t upset because I fell in love with her best friend. She’s upset because she should have been there from the beginning. Supporting us and cheering us on. “I’m sorry. Seriously. I am.”
She stares at the ground beneath her feet. “I know,” she murmurs.
I sigh and pull her against my chest, and this time she doesn’t resist. “This might not be much comfort to you, but there are reasons we didn’t tell you. We never meant to fall for each other and never expected it to turn into what it has, but as soon as we knew things were serious, we made plans to tell you. We were going to explain everything this week, but then Annalise told me she was coming, and Izzy was anxious about her visit. I just…”
I sigh again. “I was scared for a long time too. What if Poppy left town again? What if I asked her to stay, and she said no? What if I let Izzy grow attached only for things to end? It felt safer to pretend that whatever we were doing was temporary and harmless. That way, when it was over, nobody would know enough to be hurt.”
Nobody but me.
“And it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything just for me or had something—someone—all my own,” I add quietly. “I’m not proud of it, but I wanted to be selfish. It was fun to make believe I had the freedom to do what felt good instead of what was right. I was wrong.”
“Not wrong.” Daisy pushes off me and swipes at her watery eyes. “Human.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” I duck my chin with a hopeful glance. “So, do you forgive me?”
Daisy watches her toes as she kicks her feet, then rolls her eyes toward me with a small smile. “Yeah, I do.”
I exhale with a relieved nod. “Good. Thank you. Now for Poppy…”
Daisy sighs. “I’ve been ignoring her calls,” she admits. “I needed some time to think. Is she okay?”
“Honestly?”
Daisy gives me an incredulous look that makes me laugh.
“Yeah, okay. Honestly. She’s scared. You are her safe place, and you’ve always been her safe place. Your friendship is the one constant in her life. Poppy is bright and brave, but she’s vulnerable, and it’s why she runs when things get hard. You know that. She’s survived a lot of hurt. Her relationship with her mom, her struggles in school, loving and leaving kid after kid as a nanny, and then there’s all the shit that went down with Wade. Plus, you know what happened with her dad last year.”
Daisy drags her bottom lip between her teeth, like she really hasn’t thought about why Poppy might have been scared to tell her the truth. “Yeah. He’s an asshole.”
“And from Poppy’s perspective, he’s proof that the people who are supposed to love her aren’t always the people who show up. You’re right. She is scared, but not the way you think. I think she’s afraid that the only way to resolve this conflict between the three of us is for you and me to push her out. And we both know that’s total bullshit. Right?”
Daisy stiffens with alarm. “Of course, it’s bullshit.”
I grin and pull her in for one more hug—the brotherly type that presses her face against my chest and makes her ribs groan.
She flails at me until I let her go, but she’s smiling when I do. “I need to see her. Is Poppy coming around to be with Izzy this afternoon?”
“I told her to take the afternoon off,” I reply. “She hasn’t slept and needed some rest.”
Daisy grimaces. “That’s my fault. I’ll go see her. I’ll take care of it.”
“Good,” I say. “And then I’m going to need your help.”
“My help?”
“Do you want to show Poppy how much she means to us?”
Daisy’s curious smile only makes mine stretch wider because now that I’ve fixed the last mess standing between Poppy and the future we want to build together with Izzy, nothing is going to stop me from giving it to her. And a plan is starting to come together in my head.
“Yes,” Daisy says slowly. “Of course I do.”
“Good. I’ve got a lot to do this afternoon if we want to pull this off. When you talk to Poppy, invite her to the house after her shift at The Tipple. Okay? Late. When it’s dark. Not before ten.”
“Wait,” Daisy says as I walk away. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain everything after I make a few calls.” I’m halfway across the stable when I call back. “Meet you at the house in three hours?”
“But Dylan!” she shouts. “What’s the plan? What are we doing?”
“We’re going to prove to Poppy she’s family,” I shout back. “And I’m going to finally give her that happily ever after she’s been chasing for so long.”