Chapter 43
43
A week later it was time to break ground at the boat house. Flynn had rearranged his schedule to make sure he could be there on what was a special day for all of us. For Oliver and Rosie, it symbolised the start of an exciting new era for the beautiful estate through which they’d been reunited. For Alice, it represented a rise from the ashes and the power to take something broken and make it beautiful again. The words she’d said to me the first time I’d seen the boat house still resonated with me – Even the things that seem the most broken can be fixed with enough time, love and will. At the time she’d added, A bit like me , but it was my truth too.
Alice and I had taken another walk up Cat Bells with the dogs last week. We’d had a wonderful heart to heart in which I’d told her all about Noah and Flynn. I’d thanked her for sharing her experiences with me because what she’d been through and what she’d learned from it had helped me immensely. I’d reminded her what she’d said about the broken pieces and shared how returning to Willowdale had helped pull mine back together.
‘I’ll never be fully intact,’ I told her. ‘It’s not possible without Noah, but I now feel like there are enough pieces to restore me to the point where I can see the sunshine after the rain.’
Alice had smiled at me. ‘I don’t think anyone makes it through life in one piece, although there are certainly some of us who get a lot more broken and battered along the way than others. I don’t think healing is about putting every single broken shard back together. Healing can be about creating a different version of you. Have you heard of kintsugi – the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold? It’s just like that. After the accident, there’s a moment when the vase or the dish or whatever it is will look like a lost cause, beyond repair, but some time, patience and love can turn it into something more exquisite in its imperfections.’ She laughed lightly. ‘You need a bit of gold too, of course, but you see where I’m going with the analogy.’
‘I do and it’s perfect.’
When we’d returned from our walk, I’d gone online to find out more about kintsugi. I’d seen photos of repaired pots before, but I didn’t know much about the concept. With a rough translation of joining with gold , kintsugi had been around for thousands of years and had become a part of a philosophy around embracing flaws and the fragility of life. It really was perfect for me. I’d needed time, patience and love to put me back together but the key ingredient – the gold – had been Flynn and my family. Without them, those broken pieces would have remained that way. They were the glue that made me whole.
‘My lads are ready to break ground,’ Flynn said, joining Oliver, Rosie, Alice, Xander, Emma, Christian, Killian and me. ‘Ready?’
I glanced at my new friends. We were all more than ready for this. Flynn waved to the mini excavator operator then put his arm round my shoulders as the scoop lowered and dug into the ground.
‘The start of our first project working together,’ Flynn said, cuddling me to his side. ‘Willowdale Hall, eh? Doesn’t get better than that.’
‘Worth the wait?’ I asked.
He looked down at me, his smile dazzling. ‘Absolutely.’
And I knew he didn’t just mean the chance to work at Willowdale Hall. The first time I’d seen Flynn, I’d been enchanted by his dazzling smile and had wanted to be the person who made it appear. How wonderful that, after everything we’d been through, I could do that again.
He lightly kissed me before running over to join his crew. I glanced across at Alice who was also smiling as she watched the buckled doors being ripped off the back of the boat house. She turned to meet my eyes.
‘Kintsugi,’ I said to her.
‘Kintsugi,’ she repeated, nodding at me.
I wasn’t going to tell Alice but, when the boat house was ready for its interior design work, a kintsugi vase would be taking pride of place. I was sure she’d love that.
We watched for another ten minutes or so before returning to our activities for the day. Rosie headed off to the stables to meet Autumn for her riding lesson, Alice and Xander took the dogs for a walk, Emma and Christian returned to Casa Alpaca to meet some customers, Killian disappeared to do some fencing repairs, and Oliver went into Keswick to sign some paperwork. He’d secured the job at the surgery and was currently working his notice, which was fantastic news for him and Rosie. The agreed sale of his Penrith house would also mean additional capital for the project so good news for all of us.
* * *
Over the weeks that followed, Flynn and I spent a lot of time together working on the plans for Willowdale Hall. It was a dream to be working with him once more and we’d both expressed surprise at how easily we’d slipped back into being colleagues, as though there’d never been a gap.
Conscious that a romantic relationship where we just slipped back into our old patterns might not be the best way forward, we made the time to go out on proper dates. We had nights out at new restaurants and pubs as well as revisiting some of the places we’d loved in times past. We took romantic walks and even hired some kayaks from Willowdale Marina one day for a paddle on the lake. I was extremely wobbly at first but it soon came back to me – just like being with Flynn. After so long apart, it had taken us several tentative kisses before we settled back into being together but practice makes perfect and we’d certainly got a lot of practice in.
Much as I loved going out with Flynn, my favourite moments were when we were at his house, Woodland Rest. I’d been so entranced by the house that I hadn’t noticed the name on my first visit. It was ideal for Noah’s resting place in his ark. One day we might scatter his ashes, just leaving a small part of him forever with us in the metal staff, but for now it felt right that he was where we were, reunited as a family at last. Flynn had kept his promise about Noah’s belongings. He’d placed them in storage for all these years so we had those to sort through too, but not just yet. We’d do it when the time felt right.
It was spring bank holiday – the last Monday in May – and the area would be heaving with visitors so Flynn and I were spending a peaceful day together at Woodland Rest. We’d had the whole of the family round for a barbeque yesterday and I’d shed a few tears seeing how happy they all were to have Flynn back as part of the family and knowing how much it meant to Flynn to be back in the fold once more. When I’d first told everyone we were trying again, they’d been delighted. Georgia had cried and Dad had hugged me before saying magnets , looking heavenward and nodding, as though communicating to Mum that she’d been right all along.
We’d also been out for a meal with Flynn’s parents and I was relieved that neither of them held any animosity towards me for abandoning their son. They’d divorced a few years back so I’d been surprised at the suggestion to meet them together, but Flynn had told me they were getting on better apart than they ever had done when they were married. It seemed that marriage hadn’t worked for them but friendship did.
Today, the glass doors along the back of the house had been pulled back, creating a seamless living space between inside and out. I was sprawled on my back on the sofa reading and Flynn was just relaxing, a bottle of beer in his hand, listening to the birds singing outside. I became aware of being watched and placed my book down on my stomach, smiling at him.
‘Can I help you?’ I teased.
‘Just thinking how good it is to have you here.’
‘It’s good to be here. Really good.’
He took a sip of his beer and I returned to my book, contentment flowing through me at how much I loved spending time in Woodland Rest. I thought about my tour of the house and how he’d mentioned it was not quite perfect but hadn’t expanded on that. In the times I’d visited, he’d never mentioned what was wrong with the place and I hadn’t noticed any issues myself. I laid my book down again and reminded him of what he’d said.
‘What would make it perfect?’ I asked. ‘I haven’t found anything wrong.’
‘It was this close to perfect the day you first visited,’ he said, holding his finger and thumb about an inch apart.
‘Very close, then.’
‘And now it’s this close.’ He moved his finger and thumb nearer, smiling at me. ‘You being here right now has done that. I love this – just being with you doing nothing in particular.’
‘Me too. So what would make it completely perfect?’
‘If you were here all the time.’
I closed my book and sat up properly, my heart racing.
‘Move in with me, Mel. I know we said we’d take it slowly but I’m not convinced that’s what either of us really want. It’s certainly not what Edgar wants.’
I laughed at the mention of the elephant. ‘Keep talking,’ I said, shuffling closer to him.
‘You can’t stay at Willowdale Hall for much longer and the truth is that this is our house. I built it to our plans and I built it for us. You talk about buildings breathing. Well, Woodland Rest only started breathing properly when you arrived. What do you think?’
I shuffled closer still. ‘I think that sounds perfect. Yes! Absolutely yes!’
Flynn’s lips met mine and I melted into his kiss. For years, a fire had burned inside me fuelled by anger and frustration, but now a fire burned fuelled by passion for this incredible man. When I’d left him, he’d said, I hope you find the answers you need, Mel. And when you do – or if you hit a point where you decide you don’t need them anymore – I’ll be waiting for you. Even if that takes weeks or months. Even if it takes years . It had taken years but he’d kept his promise and waited for me. Now I was here to stay and I’d forever be grateful that, just like my parents, Flynn and I were magnets. We’d been on a hell of a journey both together and apart, but we’d navigate the rest of our life together and I’d never let the storm tear us apart again.