34. Hunter
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
HUNTER
“ Y our place or mine?” I ask, pulling out of the drive-through. We’re trying a new café for our Saturday coffee dates since Cosmic Brews is dead to me now. The best brown sugar espresso I’ve ever had isn’t worth baristas upsetting the woman of my dreams.
“Yours.” A mischievous glint in her eyes adds a charge behind the word, and my head spins.
Mine .
Hell fucking yes, please . I know she’s into me. She wouldn’t have agreed to any of this if she wasn’t. The way she keeps coming back for more, it’s easy to believe she’ll actually give us a chance after the wedding. Trevor’s still an issue, but since we don’t talk about that aspect of her dating life, I have no idea how it’s going. My choice. I don’t want the details; I’d rather pretend he isn’t a factor.
Ashlie’s hand inches up my thigh as we drive back to my apartment. I barely have time to close the front door and set down our drinks before she drags me to my leather sofa. She falls to the cushion, pulling me on top of her and pinning me with a leg wrapped around my waist. Our lips feverishly work in tandem, the swirl of her tongue sending us both into hyperdrive as it darts around the tip of mine. She tastes like pumpkin spiced passion, and I can’t get enough. The sound that slips out of me when she rolls her hips is salacious. I’m fucking drowning, and she’s the torrent filling my lungs.
I desperately want to rip everything off her, manhandle her all the way to the bedroom, and burn this down in a blaze of glory. Putting myself on ice is a task, but any kind of sex would make our arrangement that much more complicated. Getting this right is important to me. She’s worth the wait. I can power through for two more months.
She traps my lower lip between her teeth and giggles when I moan into the nonexistent space between us. I’m gonna nut in my pants if we don’t stop.
“Ash.” I pull away breathlessly. “We need… Let’s take a breather.”
“I don’t want a breather.” She teases my lips with hers, lying back with an irresistible gaze. “ I want you .”
“ Fuck ,” I whisper, dropping my head to kiss her neck. “This was not the deal, honey bear…”
“We made up the deal. We can change the conditions.” Reaching a hand under my shirt, she trails her fingertips down my side.
My brain threatens to go offline. She’s saying she wants this right now, and I damn sure want it too. But it was only a couple of weeks ago when she tried to pick a fight over some baristas. Giving in when things are trending upward won’t work out in my favor. I went years controlling this instinct to run my hands all over her. I can go two more months…unless she keeps looking at me like that.
Pulling her hand from my shirt, I drop a kiss on her forehead and sit up. She props herself on her elbows and pins me with the sexiest stare.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I chuckle, shaking my head. “I know what you’re doing…”
“You like what I’m doing.” She nods to my dick, which does nothing to deflate the need growing in my pants.
Tearing my eyes away, I head to the kitchen. “Yeah, and you’re trouble. I need water.”
“A cold shower?” Her giggle sends my eyes right back to the sinful way she’s biting her lip.
“You’re not seeing me naked today, Ash.” I set my phone on the wireless charger on my island and open the fridge, sensing her gaze the entire time until I get back to the couch with two water bottles. But I look everywhere else. If she still has that seduction all over her face, I won’t last a second before giving in. Just to mess with her, I place one of the frigid bottles on her exposed waist, laughing when she squeals and flinches away.
“ Ugh , you’re no fun.” She drops her head onto the cushion. As much as we need to cool it, I pull her feet into my lap. The compulsion to feel her skin on mine, in any capacity, is constant.
“We both know that’s not true.” I tip the cold water to my mouth, and it strings a few threads of common sense back into my brain. After another sip, I’m around 85 percent sure I won’t regret pumping the brakes.
She pops back up on her elbows, giving it one more try with her eyes.
“ Stop looking at me like that. It’s not gonna work.”
“ Ugh , fine!” She sits and pecks a kiss on my cheek. Hopping off the couch, she rummages through the fridge for a snack. I won this time, but I don’t know how much longer I can touch her without being able to touch her.
My phone chimes with a text. Chase was supposed to send me color details for my wedding tux. “Can you check that for me, honey bear?”
Ashlie picks up my phone, the serenity on her face falling into fury. Her body stiffens. I don’t even know that she’s breathing.
“You good?” I ask. “Is it Chase?”
“ Hey there, handsome . It was nice seeing you yesterday .” She reads from my phone slowly. “What the hell is this, Hunter? You’re still talking to Ava?”
“What—no! We ran into each other at the gym yesterday.” Ashlie’s eyes flick to mine with the same expression from the fight over baristas. Nope, worse . She’s pissed, and I’m confused as hell.
“Ran into each other, or met up with each other?” Her voice is eerily calm, but that ire in her eyes intensifies with each word.
“Are you being serious right now? I haven’t talked to her in forever. Scroll up and check for yourself.” Her thumb swipes several times, eyes steadily growing wider. Shit .
“She’s still sexting you?” My phone dings in her hand, and instant rage heats her face. “With video, apparently…” Her irritated sigh fills the room as she tilts her head to the ceiling. “Look, I know this sounds hypocritical with the whole Trevor thing, but you told me you were done with her, Hunt!”
“I am! Ash, I swear to you, I haven’t been talking to her. You just saw the messages. When was the last time I replied to her?”
“Oooh, so she’s just sprinkling your inbox with nudes for fun, huh? With no response from you? Why would she do that?
“Fuck if I know.” I throw my hands in the air and lace them over the top of my head.
“Why is she even saved in your phone?”
I shrug. “Everyone’s saved in my phone. I don’t bother deleting contacts.”
Her nostrils flare. “So you have every woman’s number saved that you’ve been with?”
“Probably. Go ahead and look.”
She swipes around, snorting angrily with each glide of her thumb. I clearly shouldn’t have suggested that. Fuck .
“I—” Dropping the phone, she steps back from the counter, holding out her hands like she’s conjuring a force field between herself and my list of contacts. With her head steadily shaking, she huffs loudly. “God, I’m so stupid for agreeing to do this with you.”
“You’re acting like I use their numbers!” I yell, standing from the couch. But I stay across the room from her. This conversation is going nowhere fast. Being near her won’t help a goddamn thing right now.
“Then why are they still in your fucking phone, Hunter? Why do you have your entire roster on speed dial?”
“Speed dial?” I chuckle at the absurdity, which is another wrong move that makes anger flare over her features. “You sound ridiculous, Ashlie. You’re telling me you don’t have any exes saved in your phone?”
“No. I don’t feel the need to keep them around for a rainy day.”
“What about emails?” I regret it as soon as I say it. The hurt that flashes across her face solidifies the punch to my gut. I’m a fucking asshole . That breakup email is still a sore spot for her, but frustration took over and I impulsively met her intensity with something to knock it out of the park. The lowest kind of blow.
“I can’t even look at you right now…” she says bitterly, dropping her eyes to the countertop. A vice grip squeezes in my chest. My thoughts twist together as I try to even out my breath, but the pit growing in my stomach as she looks everywhere except at me makes me panic. I need to get out of here . Fast . Walking to the counter, I snatch up my phone and grab my keys by the door.
“Where are you going?” she snaps as I reach for the doorknob.
“I need air!” I yell, slamming the door closed. Everything inside screams to turn back around, but then I remember that look in her eyes. The one that shouted all her regrets about this. About me . My feet propel me out of the lobby and right into my car. It doesn’t fully register that I left my own goddamn apartment until I’m on the road. I just fucked everything up .
I drive aimlessly, hoping the heavy bass rattling my speakers will drown out the dark thoughts infiltrating my mind. It doesn’t, and I’m surprised when I finally park in front of Dad’s house. Trudging into the kitchen, I slump over the island. Despite everything that’s happened here, it’s still home. Still comforting. The lack of new messages when I slide my phone from my pocket makes me drop my head in despair. Why would she reach out to me when I’m the one who caused this mess? Fucking idiot . I roll my head around on the cool marble surface to unscramble the chaos twisting my insides.
“You alright there, son?” Dad says from the entryway.
“Fantastic,” I mumble, not bothering to lift my head.
“No Ashlie?” His deep voice has a knowing inflection, and I pop my head up.
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because you’re here in my kitchen on a Saturday instead of with your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend…”
He chuckles. “You two still playin’ that game, huh? What happened?”
I sigh and get into it—the bet, Ava’s messages, my contact list, the dig about Marcus’s email. Dad stands opposite me, nodding and listening with a neutral expression. He doesn’t interject, doesn’t try to change my mind. He welcomes my messy word vomit, just like he did when I was younger. With burning eyes, my face hot from adrenaline, the dam breaks. My shoulders shake, and I’m tearing up so much, I can’t see him anymore. “She’s being unreasonable,” I say, trying to convince myself I’m not wrong about this and failing miserably.
“You dealt with a lot after the divorce,” Dad says. The fuck ? What does that have to do with anything? “There were also some things you didn’t see.” He props his elbows on the counter and leans in. “Your mom may have left the house, but I abandoned her long before she ever left me, son. There were things she needed, things I neglected under the guise of being too busy with work. Small requests that I thought were inconsequential. That I ignored . I convinced myself she was being unreasonable, but if I would have taken the time to listen, they wouldn’t have turned into big things.” He gestures to my phone with an arched brow. “You’re a lot like me in that way, using distractions to hide from the tough stuff… But you’re also like your mom.”
“Like hell,” I spit back as red seeps into my vision.
“I’m not saying you are her, but you leave like she does. I passed down my distractedness, and she passed down her avoidance. You run, Hunter. When things get uncomfortable, you get away as fast as you can. Hide behind your anger so no one can touch you. You leave first, so no one has the chance to leave you.”
His words drench me in the kind of frigid reality that silences everything else. I have no rebuttal. How do you argue with the truth? Dad has a way of making things click, and right now, everything out of his mouth is making a hell of a lot of sense. I do run. Dipping before things get serious has been my entire MO since high school. I’ve never let anyone close enough to make me stay and fight. Until now .
“Son, you didn’t ask for advice, so I’m not going to tell you what to do. You have to make your own choice with all of this. What I will say is, I see a change in you when Ashlie’s around. If something is bothering her so much that she tells you about it, it’s worth considering her side.”
“And if I asked you for advice, what would you say?”
“Let go of all those trophies in your phone. Show Ashlie you care enough about her to move on from your past, like you told her you would when you presented your bet.” He reaches over and claps my shoulder. “And go home. You’re not fixing anything by sitting here in my kitchen.” Chuckling to himself, he grabs a drink from the fridge and heads upstairs.
I leave. I avoid. All things I’ve known about myself for years, but sometimes, tough love is the only way to knock some sense into my hardheaded ass. Now that it has, my sole focus is making this right.
It’s been hours since our fight, but since Ashlie drove to my place this morning, I doubt she stuck around after I stormed out. Fixing this on her territory might be for the best anyway, so that’s where I go. But when I get to her apartment, her assigned parking spot is empty.
Me
Where are you?
Ashlie
…
Me
Ash, please…
Nothing. And those damn bouncing dots are worse than her yelling at me. They’re the clear sign that she’s so furious she can’t decide which words to tell me off with. I try again, calling her this time, but it goes straight to voicemail. Damn it, she turned off her phone . My head falls against my seat with a sigh. Why would she come back to the first place you’d look ? She’s avoiding you, dummy . But she has to come home eventually. I’ll wait as long as it takes.
Settling into my seat, phone in hand, I do the only thing I can think of. It takes almost an hour, but by the time I’m finished, I feel a little lighter. With no answer from Ashlie, I decide to cut my losses and go back home. I’ll come up with a game plan tonight, and hopefully, after a full night’s sleep, she’ll be ready to talk.