Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
“So, you see, this is a prime opportunity to turn a profit with little risk,” Michael finished, after detailing an investment scheme that had definite possibilities. His current interest was in shipping, and the profits to be made close to home, and he’d sought Nash’s opinion for once.
But frankly, Nash wished his cousin might have waited until tomorrow to bring up the matter. He was not in the right frame of mind to talk of cargo and yields with anyone.
Nash had made love to his wife again.
They had made love.
In the middle of the day, and it had been glorious.
The last thing he wanted to do now was discuss investments with a smug and previously hostile relative.
Nash would rather think about things within his control.
He was certain he had turned a corner in his marriage. Not just turned a corner, but hopefully reversed course entirely.
He wanted more days with Laura. Needed them, and her—even if they fought.
He would have them if only his cousin would go away or bother someone else with his grand ideas.
Michael pushed some papers at him. “So, what do you really think? Would you invest in such a venture if you had funds to spare?”
Nash pursed his lips, unwilling to admit out loud that he’d struggled to keep his mind on the conversation. It would cause an argument, and Michael appeared to be trying to mend fences by asking for his advice.
Laura had always had a distracting effect on him. Father had noticed and chided him for not listening so many times he’d lost count.
But Father was gone, and he answered to no one anymore. Except for Laura. “I think it is something you should definitely explore.”
Michael regarded him for a long moment. “I thought, since you’re familiar with it now, that you might like to ask your brother his opinion, and perhaps?—”
“Unfortunately, I’m expected elsewhere soon,” he blurted. “But do approach Algernon and seek his opinion, by all means.”
“Yes, but?—”
“Have you discussed the matter with him at all yet?”
“Not exactly. I came to you first because you handled many investments for the old duke and?—”
“It was always Father’s decision where he invested his money, and it is Algernon’s decision now,” he told his cousin, and then stood, impatient to escape. “He might be interested enough to join you, but that is for him to decide. Excuse me.”
He took his leave of his cousin quickly. He’d not seen Laura enough today. She’d left him sleeping in his bed after they’d made love and he thought he knew why.
She hadn’t wanted him to see those horrible scars again, or discuss father’s secret plan for her demise. He’d closed his eyes only for a moment but had not expected to fall asleep. But his first release since the last time they’d made love had been spectacular. So many of his doubts had been erased that he could finally relax.
The scars did not change how he felt about Laura, except increase his devotion to her well-being in the future.
He hurried past Algernon in the hall and it was difficult to not warn him that their cousin had an idea he couldn’t resist talking about.
Once upon a time, he might have handled the matter for him, deferred the conversation entirely until another day. But as the duke continued to point out, Nash had more important concerns than the ducal estate.
The only thing vital to him now was to settle the matter of his marriage continuing, if it wasn’t already saved.
Today had been a first step. Large but the first of many, he hoped. Acknowledging their attraction would go a long way toward easing the tension between them. Unsatisfied lust clouded the issues of what went wrong in their marriage. Their sex life was the only thing that had satisfied either of them. That and the children.
And now there were three. Three small, adorable beings who depended on him to make their world happier. He had failed them all for some time. He’d allowed them to be set to one side as well.
No more.
He continued on, upstairs to the nursery. Laura was sitting with Isabelle on her lap, crooning a lullaby to her. Thomas and Liam were lying on the floor nearby listening, heads on pillows and looking very sleepy.
It was a scene he always wanted to remember.
Nash backed from the room quietly, hurried to his own chamber and found a new journal. He wanted to capture that moment of his family being together. Capture it and keep it as a reminder of all that they should have always been.
A family that loved each other with their whole hearts.
He crept back into the room to find Laura still, Isabelle cradled close to her chest and sleeping. Thomas and Liam had closed their eyes while he was gone.
Nash slid to the floor, opened his sketchbook and began drawing.
Laura’s lips twitched. “I seem to recall now you scratching away in your journal before. I always thought you were working on some scheme for your father.”
“So did he. I always showed him a page with small calculations if he asked what I was doing,” he whispered.
“Why did you never want anyone to see your drawings before today?”
He drew the curve of Laura’s arm around their sleeping daughter. “I did not think highly of them.”
“But you do now?”
“Not really,” he grinned. “I still think they would make others laugh. Stratford is a much better artist. He could practice more.”
She frowned. “What I have seen so far is very good, very accurate.”
Praise had been so rare in his life. Hearing Laura speak well of his work made his cheeks heat. “Thank you.”
He continued sketching, even when Laura stood to put Isabelle into her bed. He would add to the image over the coming days until he was satisfied it was drawn exactly right. Laura moved away to a window, watching him work. “I used to see you out there, sitting with your journal and ignoring us up here.”
“I went out there to get away from prying eyes.”
“Your father’s.”
“And my brothers’. They took up a lot of my time then.”
“And they do still. How was Michael?”
“Tedious. He wanted me to put in a good word for him, but I’ve developed more exciting interests.”
Laura glanced down at her fingers. The ring he’d placed on her hand so many years ago was still missing. She lifted her gaze and studied him in return. Nash closed the book and gave her his full attention. He would put her first as often as he could now.
The heat of desire was still there between them as they stared at each other, barely tempered by the passage of a few hours since they’d made love.
As a new husband, he’d been unsettled by how much he desired this woman. Now, after growing older and being without her for so long, he felt finally at peace with his lust.
There was nothing wrong with wanting one’s wife, not when she wanted you as much.
Father had always claimed wives had little use besides procreation. Nash pitied the life his mother must have endured with such a bitterly cold and controlling man. A man he’d almost become.
He got to his feet slowly and went to stand before Laura. If he wanted her, he had to continue to share his innermost thoughts. “This morning was good.”
“Yes.”
He pursed his lips. “I enjoyed seeing you in my room.”
“Did you?”
He nodded quickly. “I wondered if you would agree to a change in our arrangement.”
“What sort of change?”
“A pleasurable one, I promise.”
Her eyes widened.
“I would like us to sleep in the same bed again,” he whispered.
She at least considered his request, but then shook her head. “No. This morning was all the risk I am willing to take.”
He was prepared for her immediate refusal.
“We would limit our activities to prevent conception,” he offered. Laura had been very firm about not wanting to have more of his children already. Her desire to curtail certain aspects of lovemaking was understandable, but not enough to deter him from asking for what they could share. “I can find satisfaction without penetration. So can you. My lips, tongue, and fingers are at your disposal, always.”
She glanced over his shoulder at their sleeping offspring, but he could tell she was becoming excited by his blunt talk. The rapid rise and fall of her breasts excited him, too. He inched closer, lowering his voice. “I have not spent enough time worshiping your body, and I could happily spend an eternity between your legs.”
Laura’s breath caught, and she turned to gaze up at him, eyes wide with shock and hunger.
The children were fast asleep, but there was no maid due to come to take over until late in the evening. He could not wait that long, and he suspected she might not like to, either. He held out his hand to Laura. She swayed into him and he steered her out of the room. They required a little privacy to scratch this itch.
There was a small closet across the hallway, and knowing time was short, he led her into it. It was the perfect place for a swift and satisfying tryst.
He got her into the room, shut the door, and bent his head. He kissed her hard and fast, then used his thumbs to ease her gown from her shoulders.
Once her breasts were bared, he wasted no time kissing them. He tasted milk when he suckled too hard and lapped it up quickly. However, he knew better than to get carried away there. Her breasts were likely still Isabelle’s, though he wasn’t entirely sure about that.
He passed Laura his handkerchief to catch any drips as he lowered to his knees before lifting her skirts high. Laura had always enjoyed being kissed between her legs, and she was not wearing the white drawers she’d worn that morning.
He took his time teasing her to begin with, dropping kisses up her bare thighs and inhaling the scent of fresh arousal.
But he knew that their time alone would be severely limited until tonight. The children should never wake to find themselves alone in the nursery, nor could he and Laura allow a maid to discover them, either.
He parted her thighs and tilted her hips toward his face. At the first brush of his lips against her sex, her legs trembled.
He smiled, remembering all the times he’d made love to her in her bed. The memory of those often frantic exchanges made him look up to see her expression.
Laura watched him, and then she curled her hand around his skull. She guided him to put his mouth back between her spread thighs. She rose on her toes at the first touch of his tongue, but soon settled on his face, demanding satisfaction he was only too happy to provide.
He brought his fingers to work inside her sex, too. She was wet and stifling her moans to everything he did. He hastened his actions, determined to make her climax.
And she did, her hand clamped over her lips and her hips jerking against his face, her juices on his tongue. There was no better flavor in the world than Laura.
Sweet, sweet Laura.
He was not sure he deserved this second chance, but by God, he would make this work. He could give her exactly what she needed from him.
He sat back on his heels, aware of the throb of his cock, and pulled down her skirts and straightened them again.
He watched Laura as she composed herself.
She seemed uncertain of what to do next, so he stood and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll take a peek at the children to make sure they’re still asleep. Join me when you can.”
He left her there, grinning to himself. Things were finally going in the direction he wanted with his wife.
But as he crossed the hall, he heard two thumps to his right.
He turned slowly and discovered Aunt Violet had made it up to the nursery wing, with the butler following close behind, too. Dear God, he’d been caught misbehaving by the old maid of the family and their oldest employee, too. “Can I help you, Aunt Violet?”
“I wish to speak with your wife and children.”
He glanced around, stalling for time. “The children are asleep and Laura has just run downstairs to fetch a shawl, but will be back in a moment. Perhaps you might like to wait in the nursery until she comes back. Or I can bring them to you…”
“After the effort of getting up here, I will wait in the nursery,” Aunt Violet said, drawing closer.
Nash moved to stand across the doorway where he’d left Laura to compose herself.
Aunt Violet’s gaze flickered to the door behind his back, and then she smirked. “Don’t rush on my account, my dear girl,” she called out, before she and the butler disappeared inside the nursery room, leaving him stunned.
He let out a shaky breath, and then the door behind him slowly creaked open. Laura emerged, looking completely flustered.
“She knew you were in there and what we’d been doing,” he whispered to her, and then winced. “If she’d heard anything, she hid her shock well.”
Laura pressed her hands to her cheeks. “She’s not as prudish as you might imagine about such things, but I certainly still am.”
“We’re married so there’s nothing wrong in what we do together. However, she should be more shocked, since Aunt Violet never married,” he argued.
“Only because your family would never have approved of her choice. She once told me your father tried to match her with a friend of his. She escaped him, like I did, and a very disagreeable match it must have been indeed.”
Nash groaned under his breath. “Do you know who the fellow she really wanted might have been?”
Laura shook her head. “She never said his name to me. Well, I’d best see what she wants now.”
Nash dropped his gaze to his wife’s lips until she bit one. He grinned and met her gaze. “Do you want me to keep you company?”
“I think I can manage your aunt without you for a while. In fact, it might be best if I dine with your aunt tonight. Do you mind?”
“I don’t mind, but I will miss your company. Will the children dine with you or me?”
“With me. Aunt Violet wants to get to know the boys and she has missed Isabelle dreadfully.”
“Well, if you need me, I’ll be around…or you’ll find me tucked into my bed by ten o’clock waiting for you.” He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “If there is anything more you want from me before that, just send for me?”
Her lips twitched. “I’ll consider it.”
“Until later, then,” he agreed, but he did not hold out much hope that he wouldn’t be sleeping alone again tonight. Laura was skittish about him.
She slipped into the nursery and shut the door.
Nash turned for the stairs and descended the three levels to the ground floor. It really was inconvenient to trudge up and down so many stairs just to see the children. And for Laura, and even Aunt Violet, it was especially hard with their long skirts on the steeper flight to the nursery.
Nash headed for the abandoned apartment again.
Nothing had changed since his last visit, and he was struck again by how much easier life would be if his family moved down here. There was but one flight of steps down to the kitchens for the servants, a half flight out to the grounds. He would not worry about Laura carrying Isabelle up and down steep stairs. They would have space to be together apart from the duke and his visitors, and yet remain part of the family home.
He could never give Laura back her old family estate or the life she’d enjoyed there. But he could give her this and hope that went some way toward increasing the appeal of staying married to him. She would have her own space, her own home inside Ravenswood.
That had to be better than their current arrangement, surely.
A footstep sounded behind him, and he turned to see the butler at the door. “Can I be of any assistance, Lord Nash?”
“Seymour, you’re just the man I need right now,” he promised. “Have you got a few servants going spare?”
“I can make them available, of course.”
“Good, because I want this apartment to have a thorough dusting—but it needs to be done in one night as a surprise for my wife.”
The butler raised a brow but nodded. “I’m sure more than a few would be willing to lose a couple of hours of rest for such a worthy cause.”
Nash rubbed his hands together and went to the rotting drapes and pulled them down himself, covering himself and the spluttering butler in a cloud of dust.