34. Serenity
Chapter thirty-four
Serenity
F our pairs of eyes greet me as I come into the bar area from the back and my steps stutter.
"What?" I ask, instantly defensive.
"I'm proud of you, Serenity. This was a great idea," Madame says, flanked by Declan, Harrison and Daniel. I've chatted with Daniel on and off over the months. He's friendly, affable, funny, and can carry on a conversation with anyone about anything, but I never see him play with anyone. I don't know what his story is, but it also doesn't concern me. Harrison, I've learned, likes to watch. He observes the room around him diligently. The strong but silent type. It's not off-putting or offensive that we don't talk. I'm happy to accept him just as he is.
"Well, we don't know that yet. It could be a total flop," I reply. My stomach has been twisting in on itself all day. We're trying the stepsiblings night tonight and I'm incredibly nervous. I know, logically, people like watching porn about it, but translating that into the real world could be a terrible idea.
Is it too taboo? It requires some play acting, that maybe some people aren't going to be good at.
I keep myself busy, restocking the glasses, napkins and liquor bottles behind Benji's bar. I hope he won't mind me doing it for him. I think I've learned enough about how he keeps his bar to not mess anything up.
But Madame's having none of it. "Regardless of if it's a success tonight, it was a good idea. We should always be experimenting with new themes and ideas."
I'd come up with a few other ideas but have been too insecure to suggest them. I'd like to help The Envelope out with marketing ideas but figure I should actually get my degree first. Maybe my classes will inspire some other ideas. Not that The Envelope needs help, but I like to feel useful. More than just ferrying drinks around. It's important to Declan, so it's important to me.
The doors open and couples and singles start arriving, heading to the table explaining the rules. Guests chat excitedly as they examine the bracelets and rules.
Pink for stepdaughter looking for a stepdaddy, blue for a stepson looking for a stepmom. Green for stepson looking for stepdaddy, red for stepdaughter looking for step-mommy. White for stepsister looking for a stepbrother. Black for a stepbrother looking for a stepsister. Purple for stepsister looking for a stepsister, and orange for step-brother looking for a step-brother.
Had to make it all inclusive. I wonder if it's not all too much, but the guests seem to know what they want and move into The Green room for drinks and to mingle. I watch as they scan the room, looking for the color of what they want.
"All we need is some washing machines for people to get stuck in," Benji laughs as he pours a whiskey for Declan.
I'm still so nervous that tonight will flop, that I almost don't pick up on his humor. I know they think they're proud of me for this idea, and they don't care about it succeeding, but I care, and right now I'm a nervous wreck.
I turn to deliver Dec's whiskey, and almost bump into him. He gently wraps a hand around my wrist and the other around the glass.
"Color?"
He's color checking me? For what? Oh, God, he can see how anxious I am, and he's checking in on me?
"Yellow?" I ask, a tortured look on my face.
"Hey, if you need to hide in my office for a bit, or have me call Joseph, just let me know. Really, Ser. There's no pressure to be here right now." I hate when he's all sweet and caring. It makes my heart hurt more for him. Sometimes I wish he was his growly asshole self again, just so I didn't fall even harder for him, like I am right now.
Who am I kidding? I fell in love with him even back then.
I check in with myself. Yes, my heartrate is elevated, and anxiety swims in my guts like angry bees, and I'm a bit jumpier than normal, but I can do this. My life will never be stress-free, I just need to learn how to be stressed without it completely overwhelming me and preventing me from doing normal things, like my job.
I shake my head. "I'm okay. I'm anxious and nervous about tonight, but I think I can do it."
He gives me a soft smile before taking the drink from my hands.
"If that changes, the offer still stands."
"Thank you," I sigh, knowing how freaking perfect the man in front of me is.
I watch the broad back of his suit as he walks back to Harrison and Daniel and sits with them. He seems so much more relaxed than when I first met him. I don't know that I have anything to do with that specifically, but I'd like to think I do. I know it's not the sex, we haven't crossed that line yet, and I doubt a handful of orgasms would make much of a difference. I'm sure he was having plenty of sex before me. His home life hasn't changed much, either. He doesn't let me do anything for him. But maybe my companionship has made his life better in some way. At least, I'd like to think so.
Just then, a large body in a grey suit steps up to me, a little too close, boxing me in against the bar. "Stepsiblings? Is that your kink?" Adrian asks, his voice low and deep, and only for me. "It is not mine, but I can be your stepdaddy if you want me to be."
I tilt my head back and peer into icy blue eyes. "No thank you," I say simply. This man no longer has the power to scare me, and I can tell the moment he notices the difference. His eyebrow quirks and a smile spreads across his face. It's a shame. He really is incredibly handsome and built like Harrison - just large and masculine. But my heart's already Declan's, and Adrian can't see beyond what he wants. For some reason, he's set his sights on me, but I don't think he actually wants me. He doesn't know the first thing about me, except that I'm a virgin. He likes the idea of me, I think.
"Can I get you your usual vodka tonic, Adrian?"
He frowns at my use of his first name. It was intentional. I'm taking back some of the control he wants to have over me, and belittling him by using his first name, and not Mr. Volkov or sir.
"Dah," he replies, and I slip under his arm to deliver the order to Benji. I wait, arms folded across my chest, my back to Adrian. When Benji's done with the drink, I turn to find Adrian sitting at his usual table. I set the drink down in front of him without another word.
I know we haven't made anything official, but in my mind and my heart I already belong to Declan, and I don't appreciate Adrian thinking he can mess with that.
I scan the room and let a satisfied smile spread across my face. The room is more packed than I've ever seen it, and I watch as customers approach others and pair off to live out their step-whatever fantasies.
Declan turns and catches my eye, giving me a nod of approval.
And that's all the praise that I need to set my heart alight.