Chapter 14 Katie
KATIE
So life took a downswing. It happens.
It’s bad enough that Wayne decided to ditch me — apparently for a camping trip, according to Jenny.
That was a hard pill to swallow, especially since I was trying not to react in front of Jenny.
I’m sure my poker face isn’t as great as I’d like it to be, but I’d rather not flaunt that the father of my child ran off without warning.
And that last, the pregnancy? Not exactly great news. By now the reality of it has sunk in, and while it could be worse … well, how could it be worse? I’m not sure.
The last two days have been nothing but a blur. Thank fuck it’s Friday. It’s only 9:00 AM and I’m ready to collapse. I’ve been running on empty since that little positive sign showed up.
I managed to call my doctor and get in for an appointment next week, but the thought of doing more than that makes me want to pass out.
My plan for today is to catch up on paperwork and stay holed up in my office as much as I can manage. I don’t have any house calls on the schedule, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to camp out at my desk until the end of the day.
Friday is the only day Dr. Matthews never works, so the office is still dark when I get in. The techs are busy setting up for Angeline’s appointments and checking through inventory.
“Oh, Dr. McArthur, there’s a letter on your desk,” the head tech says. “It came in after you left yesterday.”
“Thanks, Melissa.”
It’s probably junk mail, but I’ll take a look at it. I set my bag down on my chair before picking up the envelope. It’s heftier than I expect, and my brows furrow as I flip it over to check the sender.
David Chase.
Why the hell is he sending me actual mail? He usually just calls me if he needs something. I frown as I tear the envelope open and then scan the page.
My eyes nearly pop out of their sockets as I read the letter. I feel sick, and it has nothing to do with my usual morning sickness.
This is a fucking summons. A court summons.
David Chase is fucking suing me.
This… has to be a joke. It has to be. Some cruel, twisted, absurd joke that isn’t funny even a little bit.
The barrel-riding horse — who had a canon fracture — fell again.
He put her back in the ring, a full month before I approved, and he’s blaming me.
Both the horse and the rider were injured, and he’s trying to put me on the hook for both of their injuries.
I feel awful, of course, but this isn’t my fault.
This is, by definition, his fault. I told him not to fucking do this. He’s been giving me nothing but issues and attitude since I started working with him, comparing me to Dr. Sarah at every turn.
And now … this. Right fucking now, of all times. Fuck him.
I collapse into my chair, exhausted and overwhelmed.
Tears burn behind my lashes, and I toss the letter down in frustration to press the heels of my palms against my eyes.
What the hell am I supposed to do now? He’s not suing the clinic, he’s going after me, specifically.
I don’t have the money for a lawyer, and even if I did, whoever he hires is going to blow the poor sucker I can afford out of the water.I’m not usually one to cry, but I’m so worn down that I can’t do anything but sob.
Tears pour down my face in a rush, but I bite my lip in an attempt to keep anyone from hearing me.
I’m so deep in my own panic that I don’t even notice when Angeline walks in.
“Katie, honey.” Angeline’s voice is calm and quiet, and she wraps her arm around my shoulders as I shake with tears. “Hey, it’ll be alright. Dr. Sarah is close with Mr. Chase. I’m sure she’ll talk to him.”
I look up at her, startled that she’s already heard. But she gives me a knowing glance and I remember there aren’t any secrets around here.
“Besides,” she goes on. “David’s a hothead. He’ll probably change his mind in a week.”
Everything she’s saying is technically true, and I’d be saying the same thing in her shoes, but that doesn’t make it any easier to believe. She’s not the one with a fat stack of legal paperwork on her desk.
If the asshole had just listened to me, I wouldn’t have this paperwork here, either.
Worst of all, that poor horse is now probably going to be lame for the rest of her life.
David Chase isn’t the type to keep horses around unless they make him money, and there isn’t a huge market out there for horses that can’t race, work, or be ridden at all.
She’ll be lucky if she isn’t stall-bound.
“I know, I know,” I say, sounding absolutely miserable even to my own ears. “I just really can’t handle this right now.”
I feel like a little kid whining to her big sister because things didn’t go her way, but lately, life has just been one thing after another. I don’t want to keep doing this, to have things fall apart just as I start to trust them.
I want one thing, just one fucking thing, that I can turn to and know it’s not going to shove a knife in my heart.
I got so used to texting Wayne that every time my phone chimes, it’s just a cruel reminder of who isn’t calling me.
I can’t look at my sheets the same way after knowing he laid on them with me.
Even the bowl he used when we ate dinner together sits untouched in my cabinet, because I can’t bring myself to eat out of it.
I wasn’t supposed to get so attached to him for exactly this reason, but I did anyway.
And look where it fucking got me.
“Okay, hey, you have to breathe,” Angeline says.
Her voice isn’t sharp, but it is firm, and the sound of it grounds me in the present. If I start swimming off into my own thoughts right now, I have a feeling they’ll drown me.
I follow her example and take several slow, deep breaths. They come shakily, my shoulders tense and my ribs tight, but it helps. Angeline keeps her eyes on me as we breathe together, her hand on my shoulder to steady me.
“He put her back in the ring too early, against your advice.” Angeline talks calmly, her voice unwavering as I continue to struggle against hyperventilation.
“I know you, you document everything. I’m sure there are emails or texts or notes in her chart that say she wasn’t cleared to race again.
If he takes it to court, that’ll be enough to clear you.
If it’s not, I’ll testify on your behalf.
Hell, half of his employees probably will, too.
I don’t want to see you cry about this. Things are going to be okay. ”
I don’t want to cry about it, either, but I don’t feel like I have any control over it. My emotions are all over the place constantly. If I knew pregnancy was going to be like this, I would’ve been a hell of a lot more careful.
Just thinking about being pregnant is enough to send me straight back into tears.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I babble through tears. “I—”
I cut myself off, not even sure what words are trying to force their way out of me. I haven’t told anyone. Even with Mary, I didn’t actually say the words out loud.
“It’s okay to be overwhelmed, Katie. Why don’t you—”
“I’m pregnant.”
The words burst out of me without my permission, and I meet Angeline’s shocked eyes with a horrified look of my own.
“You’re… you’re pregnant?” She trips over the syllables, glancing between my face and my stomach like she expects me to suddenly be showing. “What? How?”
Well, when two people love each other very much … or stupidly, don’t use a condom.
I laugh bitterly, shaking my head.
“It was a mistake.”
I cringe even as I say it, my hand dropping to my stomach in guilt. That’s not how I want to think about my child. I don’t want them to ever feel unwanted. I may not be ready, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let myself be a bad parent.
I’m going to love this child, no matter what.
“Who’s the dad?” Angeline asks in a hushed voice. “How far along are you? Does anyone else know?”
A million other questions circle in my mind in the wake of hers, and I don’t have answers to any of them.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about work when I can’t hide it anymore.
I can’t perform surgery when I’m pregnant, which means finishing my specialty courses is all but off the table.
Then there’s the question of paying for necessities — my apartment, groceries, baby supplies — while I can’t work.
Besides, I have no fucking clue how to raise a child.
I was supposed to have time, to plan carefully and have a list of names and preschools ready before I got pregnant.
I wasn’t supposed to take a test in my boss’s bathroom on a random fucking Wednesday.
God, what the fuck am I going to tell Everett? I don’t think I could take it if he’s disappointed in me. He’s like family to me, he’s always been there for me.
My breath wobbles as tears slide down my cheeks again, burning a relentless path over my skin.
I feel like I’m making mistake after mistake, but I don’t have control over any of it.
I don’t even have control over myself right now.
My whole body shakes as I fail to fight back my sobs, and my heart aches viciously in my chest.
“I just… I need to go. I need to be at home.” I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes in an attempt to get my tears under control. Crying and panicking isn’t going to help me fix any of this. “Can you not tell anyone? Just say I’m sick or something. I’m not ready for anyone to know.”
Angeline makes a soft, sympathetic sound in the back of her throat as she squeezes my shoulder. She doesn’t press for answers to any of her questions.
“My lips are sealed, I promise,” she says. “Go home and get some rest. I’ll make sure all your appointments get rescheduled. Just take care of yourself, okay?”
Take care of myself, huh? Yeah, that’s what I’ve always done.
I can do it again.
I have no choice but to do it again.