Chapter 17 Wayne
WAYNE
Idon't sleep for shit.
Katie’s words bounce around my head, refusing to let me sleep. Pregnant. I mean, what the fuck?
How am I supposed to react after coming home to that?
The shock of it is finally starting to wear off, but I still have no clue what to do. Katie walked back into the barn yesterday and got right back to work. I haven't seen her since. Haven't heard from her.
Nothing.
Just the news that I'm going to have a kid, and then nothing.
I’ve been living carelessly, now that I look at it. I've been living for myself, but that all changed last night. My whole world is upside down, and everything is settling into an entirely new place.
I have a kid to worry about—because in reality, I'm not stupid enough to think Katie was with someone else, even if it was my first assumption.
She's not that kind of person. Regardless, life isn't just about me anymore.
If I'm honest, it hasn't been like that for a while now.
I wasn't ready to admit it, but Katie is important.
Not just because she's carrying my kid, although that's a pretty fucking good reason to get my act together.
Even if I didn't care about her, I would never forgive myself if I didn't do the right thing here, but I know that’s not the case.
No, Katie has been important this whole time.
I've just been too scared to admit it, even to myself.
But I don't have any excuses left. I can't run from this any longer, and I don't want to. I want to show Katie that I can step up and be what she needs. I can be a dad, a partner, a man.
First things first, though, there are a lot of things I need to fix.
I can't magically get a job immediately, but I need to make that a priority. No more pissing around. The ranch has kept me busy, but I can't rely on that forever. My dad is impatient to have me gone, and the feeling is mutual.
For now, I need to focus on what I can fix.
I spend a few hours preparing things as I rehearse what I want to say over and over in my head.
I go through about a hundred revisions of it before I settle on something that feels right, and by the time I've got that sorted, everything else is ready, too.
Thank God for old friends who are willing to do me a favor.
All I'm missing now is the star of the show herself. And a few props.
My first stop is the florist. They put together an elaborate apology bouquet for me, and I strap it safely into the passenger seat of my car after paying.
I'm nervous as I drive over to the clinic. I don't even know if she’ll be there today or if she’s out for a house call, but I cross my fingers that I'll be able to see her.
My heart pounds all the way up into my throat, and I'm pretty sure if she's not there, I'm going to lose my nerve entirely. I don’t know what I’ll even do then.
A sigh of relief tears out of me when I pull into the parking lot and see her car.
I rehearse what I want to say under my breath one last time as I park. Setting my spine, I gather the flowers and head for the clinic door.
I ignore the people and their pets waiting and walk straight up to the receptionist, my most winning smile is firmly in place. She glances between my face and the flowers in confusion.
“Is Katie in?” I shift the flowers in my arms. “I’ve got some apologizing to do.”
The receptionist goes from a little suspicious to positively charmed, and smiles widely before nodding her head toward the back. I expect her to guide me, but the phone next to her rings just as she moves to stand up.
“Dr. McArthur should be doing paperwork,” she says. “Go through the blue door and then take a left. I have to take this, but good luck!”
She turns her attention to the phone, and I take my first step around the counter.
Part of me wants to duck and run. Pretend that none of this happened.
Just go back to Billings and forget about it all.
I know that can't happen, though. I'd never forgive myself, although I know Katie was serious when she said she didn't need me.
Just because she doesn't need me doesn't mean that raising a kid alone is easy.
I don't want her to have to struggle with that.
I push the blue door open with one hand and step into the back of the clinic. It smells like antiseptic and dog fur, and I feel a little bit like I'm going to pass out.
I take a deep breath and force my legs to keep moving. It's too late to back out now.
The office has a glass door, and I can see the back of Katie’s head through it. Her curls are messy, thrown into a haphazard bun that barely manages to keep it all in place. Voices start to filter in through the pounding of my pulse as I step closer.
“I just… I understand, but there has to be some other way,” Katie says, her voice cracking around the plea.
“Katie, you know I don't want to do this,” another woman says, sounding sorrowful. “It's just until David gets over this whole thing. You're a great vet, and I don't want to see this tarnish your reputation, but I have to think about the clinic, too.”
I stop before either of them notices me, feeling like an idiot as I stand there with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. What's all of this about?
I was supposed to whisk Katie away to watch the sunset and win her over. I'm not supposed to be walking into this mess.
“So I'm fired?” Her voice carries nothing but defeat. No anger, no bargaining, just the acceptance of a loss. “That's it?”
“I don't want to use that word,” the other woman says. I can damn near hear the cringe in her voice as awkward silence stretches out. “Let's just say you're being put on leave. I'll tell David I fired you, and this will all blow over. We'll figure it out from there.”
The quiet that hangs heavy in the air, and it remains unbroken by even the hum of the air conditioner for what feels like hours. All I can do is stand here, unsure of my footing and with no idea of what to do next. In the end my choice is made for me.
Katie’s chair scrapes back over the linoleum, but I don't have time to compose myself before she walks out of the office.
Her eyes meet mine, and a flash of scorn crosses them. It's drowned out instantly by a flood of tears, and I find myself with her sobbing body wrapped within my arms in the next second.
“I don't want to see you right now,” she whispers mournfully into the collar of my shirt.
I have no clue what to do, so I just go with my gut instinct.
I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her even closer, letting her tears soak into my shirt.
She sobs near silently into my shoulder as her hands fist into the fabric of my shirt.
She shakes so hard I wouldn't be surprised if she collapses.
“I know.” It's not really a surprise that she's less than thrilled to see me, especially right now. “Let's get you out of here. Where's your bag?”
She pulls herself together for long enough to get her bag and her coat, and keeps her head held high as she follows me out to the SUV. As soon as the door closes behind her, though, she dissolves into tears again.
I settle the flowers into the gap between her seat and the center console before pulling out of the parking lot, but I keep my mouth shut. If I've learned one thing from my sister, it's to stay quiet when a girl is breaking down like this.
The drive to the ranch should be plenty of time for her to run out of tears and be in a better headspace.
Well, I hope it will, at least.
We make most of the trip in complete silence, no sound but the rumble of the road and Katie’s occasional sniffles to fill the air. It's not until the road turns from pavement to gravel that she looks up.
“What?” she asks blankly, looking around as I pull ever closer to the gates of the ranch. “Why are we here? Wayne, I—Look, I really don't want to do whatever this is. I just want to go home.”
“I wanted a chance to apologize. Properly.” I ignore the frustrated sigh she sends my way and maneuver the SUV through the parking spaces in front of the barn and down past several of the old sheds near the back pastures.
“Give me half an hour. If you don't want to hear any more after that, I'll take you back to the clinic and make sure you and your car get home safely. Deal?”
I don’t know what I’ll do if she negotiates this deal or vetoes it, but I think I’m safe. I have a feeling she's too tired to fight me on it.
“I… okay, sure. Whatever.”
I keep my victorious grin to myself as I pull up to the little storage shed that I picked for today’s activities. It's old and looks rickety, but it's always been the sturdiest of the buildings out this way.
Aaron really went all out on making it look like something out of a fairytale, though.
It's surrounded by a thicket of trees and flower bushes, a path of white rose petals leading to the base of a ladder that leans against the side of the shed.
If I was patient enough to wait for nighttime, I'd have asked him to deck the whole place out in string lights, but my impatience is actually working for me today.
Katie’s jaw drops open in surprise when I park the car, and she glances between me and the shed. I round the front of the car to pull her door open for her, and she narrows her eyes in hesitant confusion before stepping out.
“What's this?” she asks.
“Act One of my apology for being an asshole,” I say.
I take her hand with the most charming smile I can muster and lead her to the rose strewn path. She watches the petals crumple beneath our feet as we walk up to the ladder, but I can’t look anywhere but her face.
Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are red from crying, but she still looks so beautiful.
“Go on up,” I tell her when we reach the ladder. “The view is almost as pretty as you.”
She blushes and laughs at that, the sound watery, but she starts up the ladder anyway. The view of her ass in scrubs is way better than it has any right to be, but I do my best to keep my dick in check for now.
My worries about Aaron skimping out up here turn out to be completely unfounded, and I make a mental note to text him later and thank him. I definitely owe him for this.
A plaid blanket lays on the rooftop, all of the debris swept aside to leave nothing but a few leaves scattered around the edges. A basket of fruit and cheese sits in the middle of the blanket, and two cushions are arranged to give us the best view of the river.
“You did all of this?” she asks.
I dust my hands off on my pants before stepping up behind her to wrap my arms around her waist. I may not have done it with my own hands, but I made sure it happened.
“It's not even half of what you deserve,” I whisper against the shell of her ear.
“I wanted to show you one of my favorite spots, because I want you to see the sides of me that I don't show anyone else. I want you to know that I can be vulnerable, too.” Taking a tiny breath, I add, “And that I want to be, if it's with you.”
My heart pounds in my chest, nerves and a little bit of pride swelling there. I'm good at convincing people of things. I can do this.
I rest my chin on her shoulder and flatten a hand over her stomach protectively. A hitched gasp is all the response I get, but I can feel the tension in her spine.
“I know I was a dick,” I say softly. “I didn't expect things to go this way.
I just wasn't prepared for it. That's the thing about being a lawyer, you already know everything when you step into the courtroom.
It's not like that in real life. I fucked up, and I said some awful things that I didn't mean, and I'm sorry.”
Katie turns, but doesn't pull out of my arms. Her brows furrow in distrust, but hope swims in her gorgeous brown eyes.
I can work with that.
“I want to have this baby with you.” The word baby still feels like something out of someone else’s life, but I'll get used to it. “I want to be a good dad. I won't let you do this by yourself, Katie.”
She glances away from me, her whole body trembling. If I knew her better, I could find something to say, something that would really make it click. I don't know how much more serious of an offer I can make other than taking on the responsibility of a child with her.
It's not like asking her to be my girlfriend really holds a candle to asking her to have a kid with me.
Saying something like that would just cheapen the moment.
“You have to be sure,” she finally says. “I can't keep doing this back and forth, Wayne. Either this is serious, and you're in this baby’s life, or I need to figure things out without you. I have too much on my plate to play games.”
“No games,” I promise. “Just me, you, and our baby. I swear, Katie.”
A thousand more questions burn in her eyes, but she doesn't voice any of them.
I lean in slowly, giving her a chance to push me back, but she doesn't. When her lips meet mine, they're still salty and damp from her tears, and they tremble when I slide my tongue between them.
Uncertainty and determination both come off her in waves, and she grips my shoulders as she kisses me back, clearly trying to put her worries to the side for a moment.
“Let me take your mind off things,” I whisper against her lips. “That was only Act One. I still have plenty of apologizing to do.”
She giggles when I urge her to lay down across the cushions, shaking her head in disbelief.
“God, I can't decide if today is a nightmare or a dream,” she jokes weakly.
I grin down at her as I kneel between her thighs and tug at the ties of her scrub pants. She lifts her hips to help me tug them down, and my cock throbs in my jeans at the sight of her. Yeah, I could get used to having her around all the time.
“People usually pinch themselves to make sure they're not asleep.” I chuckle at my own joke even as I tug her thighs over my shoulders. “I think I have a better way, though.”
If the way she moans my name at the first touch of my tongue is any indication, I'd say she agrees with me.