Chapter 18 Katie
KATIE
Ihave to say, Wayne has done a pretty decent job of being around. From what I’d gotten to know about him, I half expected our little liaison on top of the shed to be the end of the whole thing. A nice farewell full of pretty words and a good orgasm or two.
But it’s been several weeks now, and he’s still here. Hell, he even went to my first doctor’s appointments with me. I hate to say it, but compared to the Wayne I used to know that’s almost gold-star worthy.
And yet…
I just can’t shake the feeling that it’s all some kind of act. I just keep waiting for the mask to slip and for old Wayne to come swaggering back into the picture.
Granted, he’s got plenty of swagger even in this new version.
Coming out of the bedroom, I see mail on the floor below the slot and my stomach drops. As if pregnancy wasn’t enough, David Chase’s lawyers have sent me some new demand almost every day.
Without work to go to, I wind up bouncing all over my apartment all day. Chased around by the billion things I’ve got to worry about.
Sure as shit, an envelope from Simonson and Associates glares up at me from the floor.
“Shit.”
My hands shake so bad picking it up I almost drop the coupons and junk mail that came along with it.
I can’t open it. I mean, I know I have to eventually, but I just can’t face it right now. After another shitty night of no sleep, I don’t have the strength to read whatever they’ve cooked up now.
It might not be so bad if I had an attorney of my own to forward stuff like this to.
Everyone at the clinic says I’ve got an ironclad case, and the documentation to back it up. Which sounds nice and all, but doesn’t amount to much if I don’t have a job to make the money to hire a lawyer.
Wayne offered to help out and I turned him down.
Maybe I shouldn't have—maybe still turning down his legal help, when he’s asked repeatedly, is a dumb move—but things between us are already so tangled, I can’t imagine adding another layer.
I’m probably being stubborn, but I can’t make myself ask him.
Is it possible that he’s both too present and not present enough at the same time? It’s like he wants to help in all the ways except the ones that are actually what I want.
I don’t need a lawyer right now. I need a partner.
Okay, maybe I do need a lawyer. Badly. But if legal counsel is all Wayne is going to be, I’d rather not.
Given the fancy letterhead I’m up against on a daily basis, I’m pretty sure Simonson and Associates would wipe the floors with a public defender, paper trail or not.
“God,” I mutter, dropping the stack of mail on my side table. “Not again.”
It’s a beeline for the bathroom to hunch over the toilet and cough up everything but my toenails. Whether this is stress over being sued or morning sickness is a coin toss. They’ve both worked overtime to make sure my stomach stays empty most days.
A shower makes me feel a little better, but only a little.
Wiping fog off the mirror, I barely manage to push my hair up in a towel before I hear my phone buzzing. Following the sound, I find my phone under the mail on the side table.
I can’t help smiling when I see Wayne’s name on my screen and swipe through to the call.
“Hello?”
“Well, well.” His grin is audible over the line. “I was worried I was going to have to bust the door down or something.”
“Wait, you’re here?” I look through the peep-hole to see him smiling on his phone.
“I knocked but nobody answered.”
Dropping the phone to my side, I flip back the lock and open the door.
“I was in the shower.”
“So I see.” The hunger in his face seeing me in my robe makes my chest hot. Even with my wet hair up in a towel, Wayne looks at me like a five course meal. Some days that look gets under my skin. Like I’m just one more thing for him to consume.
But today it’s exactly what I need.
“Boy, am I glad to see you,” I say, holding up my arms so he can scoop me into a hug.
“I told you I was coming by this morning.”
“I know. I just…” Tears rush to my eyes and cut off my voice. Goddamnit, these hormones really do have me ping ponging all over the place. I knew pregnancy would have me on the ropes, but nothing could have prepared me for the highs, the lows, and the low highs.
“What’s wrong?” He loosens his embrace, but I can’t manage to meet his gaze. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” It’s the kind of thing he says all the time, but I can’t always make myself believe it.
Maybe it’s unfair, but there are times where my mind races back to the way he reacted when I first told him I was pregnant. Because it wasn’t great. He bungled it about as badly as any man-child could, leaving me perpetually wary when it’s time to discuss anything important.
Fragile as I am these days, I don’t think I can handle another disappointment. Instead of opening up a fresh can of worms, I flip my mail face down as surreptitiously as possible.
Wayne doesn’t notice. He’s too busy snuggling closer, his hand slipping inside my robe.
Back before I started showing, his first move was always towards my breasts. But now his fingertips graze across my belly, cradling the growing bump.
“Mm,” he rumbles, caressing my skin. “You feel good.” The warmth of his touch soothes part of me while riling up other parts. Not just my naughty side. He’s said he wants to be there for me, and I definitely want my child to know its father.
I’m just a little hazy on the specifics. Because Wayne sure hasn’t moved in, nor has he asked me to come stay with him.
So we’re in a kind of limbo. He’s present, alright – but is he committed?
His hand swabs over me again, and the pressure of it is intoxicating. Tipping my head back to rest on his shoulder, I surrender and just let myself feel it.
Wayne definitely notices.
He turns his head to kiss my neck, whispering very close to my ear.
“Do you like that?”
“Yes,” I answer softly. He makes another circle, this time straying lower on my abdomen. Low enough to send a shiver rippling over me.
“How about that?” God, Wayne knows all the right buttons to push. Curling his fingers just a bit, his trimmed nails scratch ever so lightly over me. The inside of my thighs burn, and I press them together and lean back into him.
My voice has run away, so all I can do is nod. A hushed laugh exhales past his lips and warms the side of my neck.
“Good.” The front of my robe glides open as his other hand finds my bare skin. Just as its partner slips lower towards the damp space between my legs, this new hand traces along the underside of my breast.
They’ve been sore lately, tender to almost every touch. But Wayne’s attention plays a delicate line between pleasure and pain. The closer his fingertips get to my nipple the more it aches, though I can’t tell if his touch is going to relieve or inflame it.
Then he finds me and the answer is both.
“Fuck,” I groan, twisting in his arms. The intensity of his hands on me borders on unbearable, and he keeps me right on the precipices.
“Too much?” There’s a wicked edge to him now that makes me tremble. I couldn’t answer if I wanted to. His other hand strays lower and finally dips between my legs. I’m so wet his finger sneaks past the folds, instantly rubbing against my pulsing clit.
“God,” I mouth, unable to speak. Wayne says something, but I can’t make it out. I’m too busy riding his hand to register anything else. My robe slips down past my shoulders, and when Wayne releases my breast to let it slip to the floor, I cry out an involuntary, “No!”
Grabbing his hand, I put it back over my nipple and hold him there, reveling in the tortuous perfection of it.
“Jesus, Katie,” he growls in my ear. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
That makes two of us.
Before I even know we’re moving he has me on the couch. The soft cushions collapse under me as he presses me down with his weight.
My hands fumble with his belt buckle, desperate to get him free. Because his fingers aren’t enough. Not anymore. I need his hardness to fill me up so much it chases away the million cracks I’m hiding every waking moment.
In an instant his cock is hot and hard in my hand, the silky rigidness of it scrambling my brains. Then he slides into me and the world melts away.
There’s nothing but the push of his body, and the pleading reach of mine. He delves deep, and I hang on hard as he drags out again. Because I don’t want to let him go. Not even for an instant. Like I’m afraid if he slips out of me I’ll never get him back.
Each time he thrusts deep again, I’m filled so completely it brings water to my eyes.
“Right there,” I say, grabbing his ass and holding him deep. “Stay there. Stay with me like this.”
He buries his face in my neck, his breath flushing across my sensitive breasts. But he stays put. Arching his back deep so that I can grind my hips around him. Holding him from the inside as each swivel drives me higher into myself.
“Stay with me,” I plead over and over again, my voice rising in pitch each time. Before long I’m not talking about the shattering orgasm gearing up to rip through me. I’m talking about everything. Every single bit.
“Fuck, Katie,” he grunts. “I don’t know if I can hang on.”
“Please,” I wail, my hips growing frantic. “Wayne, please!” Just a few more bucks of my hips, and it’s all over.
I don’t know which one of us comes first, but we’re both screaming. Clinging to each other on the couch as the world splinters to pieces. I’m hot and cold all over at the same time. Furious to keep him planted deep as he spills into me, and impatient to fling him off me because it’s all too much.
It’s all far, far too much.
Then the world slows down, and I can breathe again. I realize I’ve been biting my lips to keep them closed. Because if they open, I’m bound to say something that would change everything.
Three words. Three treacherous little words that might just ruin what little we have.
Words that would come so easily from my lips, but I somehow doubt I’d ever hear from his.