Chapter 20
KATIE
One night with Wayne in my bed and two nights alone. Which seems to be his pattern.
To Wayne’s credit, he texts pretty much all the time. I see him around the ranch when I’m there, and he comes by for some reason or other just about every day. It would be fine if they were more than just visits.
He can be as attentive as he wants, there’s no getting around the fact that we’re living completely separate lives. Which might not be so bad if we were simply dating, but with a baby?
Maybe I’m wrong to want more.
Whatever he might say about wanting to be with me, his actions make his investment pretty clear.
Not only that, but it’s what he doesn’t say that speaks louder than just about anything else. I don’t need him to throw himself at my feet or anything, but if the guy says he wants to be with me, then why can’t he just be with me? Why is it always here and gone?
The baby growing inside me has completely rearranged my priorities. My whole adult life I’ve been independent, and overnight I’m ready to settle down. To spend my forever with someone. And Wayne may never be ready for that.
When I’m really in the dumps, it’s easy to blame him for that. But at the end of the day I just have to accept that he’s not wired like that.
Being a single mom wouldn’t be quite so impossible to think about if I had my feet planted firmly. But with this whole David Chase thing, the world is pretty shaky. At least Everett and Mary have let me keep coming in. Otherwise my bank account would already be tapped out.
And I’ll admit, it’s been getting thin.
They keep things pretty well stocked over at the ranch, but I decide to swing by the office to pick up a few supplies. It’s easier to add something to the invoice than to request they order it themselves. I charge them the wholesale cost and cut out the middle-man.
I pull into my usual parking spot and look at the building before getting out of the car. It feels weird not to come here every day. The clinic has a forbidding aura around it that I have to shake my head to dispel.
“You’re just working yourself up,” I mumble, as I unbuckle my seatbelt.
Getting out of the car is a chore. How did this happen so quickly? I don’t even feel like I look all that different yet, but I’m winded over the least little thing. It makes every minor task feel like a mile long hike.
Going into the office feels fraught all on its own without the added physical exhaustion. Once inside, I force a bright smile and wave at the receptionist.
“Hey, Jess!” I call out.
Jess doesn’t seem thrilled to see me. Did I just say that too loud?
I’ve never felt comfortable when I’m forcing a cheery facade.
It doesn’t help that Jess’ cringing smile has a dash of worry in it.
Or maybe I’m fooling myself. Either way, my heart is thumping like crazy as I push through the doors to the back.
Dr. Sarah’s office door is open, and I call out as I make my way to the supply closet.
“Hey! Don’t mind me, I’m just picking up a few things. Pretend I’m invisible.”
The head tech Melissa pokes her head out of Dr. Sarah’s office after me, and this time there’s no getting around it. Her eyebrows are knit in genuine concern. My mouth goes dry and I walk past to start picking up the stuff I came for.
Why does it feel so much like I’m stealing right now?
“Good morning, Katie.” Dr. Sarah stands in the door behind me, her hands in the pockets of her white coat.
“Morning,” I reply, chipper as I’m able.
“What exactly are you doing?”
“Picking up some things for Black Spruce Ranch…” When I turn to face her, Dr. Sarah’s lips are pulled into a thin line and her eyes are filled with regret. “Shit,” I say before I can catch myself. “Is everything okay?”
“Maybe we should step into my office for a second?”
My fingers go numb and I set the boxes of medicine down on a shelf so I don’t break anything.
“Why? What’s up?” My voice trembles and I have no idea what to do with my hands. Heaving a sigh, Dr. Sarah leans her shoulder against the door.
“Look, I really don’t want to have to do this…”
“I’m fired, aren’t I?”
Her face tightens, and my head gets light and fuzzy.
“It’s nothing you did,” Dr. Sarah says softly. “But David’s lawyers are coming on pretty strong. The clinic doesn’t have the resources for a court battle right now.”
The clinic doesn’t? I want to shout. What about me? Actually getting fired is going to be like blood in the water to David’s legal team.
“You have no idea how sorry I am, Katie.” Dr. Sarah’s voice sounds like it’s echoing down a long corridor, and I swim to grab hold of the words.
“I feel sick about it, but there’s nothing we can do.
” Somehow I manage to focus on her face, grateful to find genuine sympathy there.
“We’re a small clinic in the grand scheme of things.
But if we go down, the whole region is going to suffer. I hope you can understand.”
Understand? I guess I have to.
Instead of sobbing all over myself, a manic smile plasters across the bottom of my face.
“Fine. That’s fine.” Water stings the corners of my eyes. Doing everything I can to keep from falling apart on the spot, I ease past her and head for the front door, babbling the whole way. “I understand. It’s just the situation, right?” Words tumble out of me in an attempt to master myself.
I just have to get to my car. I can cry there.
Dr. Sarah says something behind me, but I can’t hear it.
My ears are ringing too loud. It feels like years before I’m finally able to get back into my car.
As soon as I turn the ignition the flood-gates open.
Turning up the radio so I don’t have to listen to my own sobbing, I head directly for the ranch.
This changes everything.
With nowhere to turn to, it’s finally time for Wayne and I to have the come-to-Jesus meeting we’ve both been avoiding. Things can’t go on the way they have been. I’m pregnant, out of work, with a massive lawsuit looming over me.
I’m calm by the time I get to the ranch. That changes fast. Rolling up the dirt path between the barn and the house, I see Everett leaning against a fence post talking to someone. When I realize who it is, my chest locks up and I start to hyperventilate.
Vicky. Crap.
All I’ve got in my purse is a crumpled tissue, but it’ll have to do. Wiping my eyes as fast as I can, I steal a glance in the mirror to see how bad I look after all the ugly crying I did before my arrival.
My eyes are a little bloodshot, but I’m just going to have to brave it out. Because they’re both looking right at me.
Everett waves, so I flash him a smile and get out of the car.
“Well, well,” Everett says genially. “Look who it is. Got some work to do?”
“Always,” I reply, casually as I can.
“Katie, do you know Vicky Haller? She swung by to see Wayne.”
“Of course we know each other,” Vicky answers too sweetly. “We were all in high school together.”
“That’s right.” Everett snaps his fingers. “Our Katie has such a good handle on things sometimes I forget how young she is.”
“Thanks.” For some reason I shake Vicky’s hand anyway, immediately regretting how awkward it is. Especially since my hands are clammy.
Everett introduces me like he’s got no idea I’m dating his son. Which, of course, he doesn’t. I have to bite back how surreal it is that I’m carrying Everett’s grandchild in my belly and he’s oblivious to the fact that Wayne and I are anything to each other besides casual acquaintances.
They chatter for a second and I twist up inside myself over the whole situation.
It’s not like Wayne has been actively hiding our relationship, right? Like, he’s not lying to anybody or trying to hide me. We just haven’t been super public about things. When we were just fooling around, that made sense. I wasn’t exactly trumpeting our relationship from the rooftops myself.
But things are different now. This feels so wrong.
“Earth to Katie,” Vicky says, and I snap back to myself.
“Huh?”
“God.” She laughs, putting her hand on Everett’s arm. “She hasn’t changed a bit since high school. Her head’s always in the clouds.”
Big words coming from an airhead like her.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I was just thinking about the regimen for today—”
“Anyway,” Vicky says, “I was just saying how good you look.” True to form, Vicky’s not even listening.
She looks me over from head to toe, and when her eyes pass over my stomach, I reflexively knot my fingers in front of myself.
“Things must be going well.” A little nasty glimmer appears in the corner of her eye.
“You’ve even put on a little weight. It suits you. ”
I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Everett barely notices the jab. Leave it to a rancher not to see through a catty bitch like her.
“Well, do you want to come inside until Wayne gets back from the store?” He asks.
“Sure,” Vicky and I both say at once, and my face immediately gets hot.
“Oh.” I shrink back into myself. “Sorry. I thought…”
“I get it.” Vicky swats a hand at me. “Everybody wants a piece of his time. But I really have to tell you, Everett.” Her hand lands on his arm again, possessive and conspiratorial at the same time.
“It was so good reconnecting with Wayne again while he was in Las Vegas. It was just like the old days when we got up to all kinds of mischief. Well…” The bitch actually winks at me. “Not too much mischief.”
My stomach heaves and pinpoints of light dance in front of my eyes.
Suddenly Wayne’s radio silence while he was away with his buddies has a very concrete reason I’d never considered. A short, acid-tongued, curvy little reason.
Looking at Vicky’s wicked little smirk, it’s dangerously possible to picture the two of them cavorting through Sin City together. I can so easily picture old Wayne, off his leash again. They’re both up to their eyeballs in drinks, dancing in the streets, then hitting the sheets.
Misery balloons inside me. Potential betrayals swell up, one after another, from my brain down to my seething gut.
Shit. I’m gonna vomit. And I can’t do it in front of them.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I stammer, chewing back the bile rising in my throat. “I should—I need to get to work. See you later, Everett. Vicky.”
“Bye, Katie,” Vicky calls at my back as I stagger away. It’s the final dagger in my heart. Thank goodness I’m out of sight before doubling over to throw up in a ditch.