6. Shante #3
“No,” I replied coldly. “You trying to keep yourself outta prison.”
“Just make this easier on me.”
“Easier on YOU?”
That man had some damn nerve.
“You not the one lying in bed every night, scared to death about getting caught,” I continued. “You not the one lying straight in your significant other’s face every day. Let me take that back you do lie to Alisha.”
“You think this easy for me?”
“I think you caused this.”
“Tell me some shit I don’t know.”
That soft little admission pissed me off. It reminded me that underneath all his controlling ways he knew exactly how badly he was ruining everybody around him. Yet he still kept going, after I got off the phone with Deuce, my whole mood felt fucked up again.
That conversation drained me bad. I tossed my phone onto the couch before heading into the kitchen trying to distract myself. Cooking usually helped calm me down a little. It gave my mind something else to focus on besides guilt and lies.
I pulled chicken out the fridge along with green beans and potatoes before turning some music on low through the speaker sitting on the counter. The smell of seasoned chicken started filling the kitchen while I moved around.
By the time I finished cooking, the front door opened and Malik walked in.
That man looked good enough to make me forget my own name sometimes.
He was tall around six-three with smooth chocolate skin that almost glowed underneath the kitchen lights.
Fresh 360 waves laid perfectly around his head and his beard stayed lined up so sharp it looked airbrushed.
He had Detroit swagger all through him. The second his eyes landed on me standing in the kitchen, his whole face relaxed.
“There go my girl.”
I tried not to smile too hard while turning back toward the stove. “You late.”
“I had business.”
“Mhm.”
He walked up behind me anyway wrapping both arms around my waist while kissing the side of my neck.
“You smell good,” he murmured against my skin.
I laughed softly. “That’s the food.”
“Nah,” he replied immediately. “You.”
I leaned back against his chest for a second. Being around Malik still felt safe. He was the one normal thing left in my life. That made lying to him even harder.
“You hungry?” I asked quietly.
“Starving.”
I grabbed a plate from the cabinet while he sat down at the kitchen table watching me move around.
And I felt his eyes on me the entire time.
That man loved watching me. He still couldn’t believe I was his sometimes.
I fixed his plate the way he liked it with extra hot sauce and potatoes.
More chicken than vegetables because he always complained I tried feeding him “healthy people food.”
“You trying to fatten me up?” he joked while taking the plate from me.
“You already big as hell.”
“I’m athletic.”
I rolled my eyes immediately. “You sell weed and argue all day that ain’t athletic.”
Malik laughed loudly. “See this what I deal with.”
I sat across from him with my own plate with noise from the TV in the background. For a minute everything actually felt normal, us talking and joking while eating dinner. Moments like this made me forget how messed up my life really was for a second, then Malik ruined it.
“So… we pregnant yet?”
I almost choked on my drink. “Can you relax?” I snapped while setting my cup down.
“What?” he laughed. “I’m just asking.”
“You ask every day.”
“Because I’m trying every day.”
I rolled my eyes hard. Malik grinned before taking another bite of his food.
“I’m dead serious,” he continued. “At this point if you ain’t pregnant yet, I need to go get checked out or something.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
“Nah for real,” he laughed. “Because I bust in you every damn night.”
“Malik!”
“What?” he shrugged dramatically. “I’m being honest.”
I shook my head immediately, trying not to laugh. “You so ignorant.”
“And infertile apparently.”
I threw a napkin at him. “Shut up.”
“I’m serious though, I really want this with you.”
I looked down at my plate for a second before finally answering. “It’s all God’s timing.”
That was the only truthful thing I could say, because technically it was. Just not in the way he thought.
Malik nodded slowly. “You right.”
Then he leaned back in his chair studying me carefully. “But when it happen though?” A small smile pulled at his lips. “Man… I already know our baby gone be fine as hell.”
All he saw when he looked ahead was happiness. Meanwhile every future I pictured lately ended in destruction.
“You think it’ll be a boy or girl?” he asked.
“Malik…”
“What?” he laughed. “I’m just saying.”
I shook my head, smiling weakly. “You already planning too much.”
“Hell yeah, I am.”
He stood up after finishing his food and walked around the table toward me.
Then he leaned down kissing me slowly like he actually loved me.
That almost made tears hit my eyes. All I could think while he touched me was, you deserve the truth.
But I was already too deep in lies to give it to him now.
By Thursday morning, my stomach was in knots from anxiety. I pulled into the fertility clinic parking lot gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary while trying to calm my breathing. There wasn’t no calming me down at this point.
The second I walked inside the clinic, my mood got even worse. Kim and Deuce were already there sitting together in the waiting room. And seeing them side by side instantly irritated the hell out of me because they looked like a whole happy couple.
Kim leaned against his shoulder scrolling through her phone while Deuce sat beside her calm as ever in a black hoodie and Cartier buffs.
While his wife was somewhere probably thinking he was handling business.
This nigga was married to my best friend and I’m sitting here watching him hugged up with the next bitch!
Deuce looked up first when he saw me.
“There she go.”
I cut my eyes at him immediately before sitting down across from them. Kim gave a fake smile. She knew I didn’t fuck with her that’s why I didn’t even bother to give her ass a fake smile back.
“Hey Shante.”
I gave her a fake little nod. “Hey.”
Pregnant women sat scattered around the room flipping through magazines while couples whispered quietly beside each other. Sitting there between Deuce and Kim made me feel even more out of place. Like I didn’t belong in this story at all.