6. Shante #4
“You nervous?” Kim asked after a minute.
I looked at her then at Deuce then back at her again. “A little.”
That was the nicest answer she was getting out of me. Before anybody could say anything else, the medical assistant walked out holding a clipboard.
“Shante Carter?”
I stood up immediately and right behind me so did Kim and Deuce.
“Oh no,” I said quickly while turning around. “Y’all can stay out here.”
Kim’s face changed. “Why?”
“Because I said so.”
Her eyes narrowed immediately.
“You acting like it’s your baby.”
That pissed me off so fast my whole body got hot. I stepped toward her before I could even stop myself. “Well technically it is in MY body,” I snapped.
The entire waiting room got quiet.
“Shante,” Deuce warned lowly.
“No,” I continued while glaring at Kim. “I’m already doing enough, I don’t gotta hold nobody hand through this too.”
Kim crossed her arms immediately. “I’m the mother.”
“And I’m the one sacrificing my damn life,” I shot back.
The medical assistant looked uncomfortable as hell standing there. Poor girl probably regretted calling my name. “Can we please continue?” she asked awkwardly.
I grabbed my purse tighter against my shoulder before looking back at Kim one more time.
Then I turned around and followed the assistant down the hallway alone, and honestly, I preferred it that way.
The assistant took me into a small room first where she checked my weight and blood pressure, then she handed me a cup.
“We’ll need a urine sample.”
A few minutes later, I sat on the exam table wearing that thin paper gown while my real clothes folded neatly in the chair beside me.
Waiting in that room by myself is when everything finally started feeling real.
I stared down at my hands resting in my lap while emotions rolled through me one after another.
Fear, guilt, pressure, and sadness, nothing inside me felt peaceful.
If I was pregnant that meant my life officially stopped belonging to just me anymore.
Every decision after today would revolve around protecting lies.
That scared me more than the pregnancy itself.
I kept thinking about Malik and how happy he looked talking about babies at dinner.
How he joked around saying he needed his sperm checked because he “busted in me every night.”
Then there was Alisha, my best friend, somebody who trusted me enough to leave Brittany with me for days at a time.
And meanwhile I was sitting in a fertility clinic carrying her husband’s child for his side bitch.
That realization made tears sting my eyes before the doctor even walked inside.
About fifteen minutes later, the door finally opened.
Dr. Harris stepped inside holding my chart with a smile and calm voice. “Well,” he said while looking over the paperwork, “the procedure was successful.” Then he looked up at me with a smile. “You’re approximately four weeks pregnant.”
And just like that everything inside me dropped.
Tears immediately filled my eyes. Not because I was happy and this was some beautiful, exciting moment.
But because hearing those words out loud made the situation permanent.
There was no pretending anymore. No, maybe, no uncertainty I was pregnant.
With my married brother’s baby for him and his mistress.
“You okay?” the doctor asked gently after noticing my face.
I nodded quickly while wiping my tears. “Yeah.”
He continued talking while handing me paperwork. “You’ll need to schedule an appointment with an OBGYN soon.”
I nodded silently.
“The receptionist up front can give you a list of doctors I recommend.”
“Okay.” My voice barely came out above a whisper.
After he left the room, I just sat there staring into space for a minute completely numb.
I honestly didn’t know how to feel. Every emotion crashed into each other so hard I couldn’t separate them anymore.
Eventually I slowly forced myself to get dressed.
I thought moving slower would delay reality somehow.
The second I stepped back into the waiting area, both Kim and Deuce stood up immediately, their faces looked anxious and hopeful.
Dumb and dumber looked excited while I felt like my whole life was falling apart.
“Well?” Deuce asked carefully once we stepped outside.
I looked at him for a second before finally speaking.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Oh my God,” Kim gasped excitedly.
The happiness on her face pissed me off. She grabbed Deuce’s arm smiling while tears filled her eyes. Seeing that reaction made me want to scream, because I felt like I was drowning.
“You happy?” Kim asked me excitedly.
I stared at her in disbelief.
Happy? Was she serious? Without answering, I walked straight past both of them toward my car.
“Shante!” Deuce called behind me.
I ignored him completely, because if I opened my mouth right then, I was liable to say something everybody would regret. I climbed into my car quickly and slammed the door, before either one of them could reach me I pulled off.