Chapter 22 #2
“Perhaps that is what is weighing me down tonight. I feel responsible for the things I cannot change because I don’t have that power, and I’m terrified that I am the only one left.”
“Can you not reach out to your siblings?”
“I can, if they can access magic. And if no one answers, there are only two possibilities: that they have not found a way or that they are dead. Either way, I’m still alone.” Pan pressed his lips together.
“What are you hiding?”
“There is a third and worst option. We banished a god to this world, there is a possibility that he can still access magic, and that he is killing my siblings.”
“I’m pretty sure it was humans doing the killing in Egypt.” The news story had reported on the slaughter of mythological beings in Egypt and that some of them claimed to be gods.
“He might be working through them.”
“You’re afraid of him?” Pan hadn’t even been afraid when the centaurs had taken them prisoner.
“There’s a reason he was banished,” he said, neatly dodging the question.
“So you sent him to our world?”
“It has less magic, so it seemed like a good idea. Don’t look at me like that. We checked up on him. After a while, he disappeared.”
“But you don’t think he did?”
“I don’t know. If I leave a message for other gods and he sees it, I am putting a target on my chest.”
“But me giving you access to magic is safe?”
“Yes. What you are doing is barely a ripple. A message for my siblings would light up the threads and lead him here.” Pan kissed him lightly as if trying to rekindle the heat of a few seconds ago. “I don’t want to think about him or my siblings or the problems of the world tonight. Which is wrong.”
“I think you are allowed a night off. The mess will still be there tomorrow. And tomorrow, we can talk magic and prayers and whatever else.” Noah traced the curve of one horn, leaving his finger on the blunt tip. “What do you want to leave behind in this year?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes, it’s almost fun to be figuring things out without magic, and other times, it is so frustrating I want to rip my horns off.”
Noah laughed. “Please don’t do that; I like your horns.” He cupped Pan’s cheek. “I’m going to leave behind living up to human expectations. I’ve spent so long trying to meet them and always fell short.”
“I do not see how.”
“Spend ten minutes talking to my mother, and she will tell you all my failings.”
“If that is all she is looking for, then that is all she will see.” Pan’s thumb swept over Noah’s lower lip.
“I see a man seeking his own path. One who leads with his heart and who will leave his mark on those around him even if they don’t realize until it is too late.
” He smiled. “I should be jealous, but instead. I want to help you. I want to be near you as if you are a god and I a mere supplicant seeking your blessing.”
It wasn’t magic in Pan’s eyes, but something more terrifying. Noah’s heart flipped, and it was hard to breathe as lust gripped him hard. “And I would give you any blessing you requested.”
He groaned as Pan pressed against him, his lips claiming his next breath. He ground his hips against Noah’s as if he had no intention of making it to their bedroom. Given that most people were in the bar or already in bed, Noah didn’t see any point in moving either.
“I want you,” Pan whispered as his hand slid between them and undid Noah’s jeans. His fingers wrapped around Noah’s dick. If Pan wanted magic, he could make a blow job last for hours. This had a different urgency.
“Come on.” Pan removed his hand from Noah’s jeans, then stepped back as if expecting Noah to follow.
And he did.
Pan reached their room first and was already pulling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes.
Noah shut the door and did the same. By the time he was shedding his jeans, Pan was on the bed and had taken a small ceramic pot out of the drawer in the bedside table.
He flicked the lid off and onto the blanket. “Lube.”
It didn’t look like any lube that Noah had ever used. Pan lay back and brought his knees up, as if offering himself. For a heartbeat, Noah was confused, then Pan dipped his fingers into the pot and swept them over his hole, making what he wanted very clear.
Noah crawled toward him on the bed, then over him, kissing him as Pan’s slick fingers stroked his cock. Even though he wasn’t feeling for the magic, it was there, eddying around them. Would he ever be able to have sex again without thinking about magic and being aware of it?
In that moment, though, he didn’t care about magic or the rest of the world. He wanted to be in him. Was it wrong to want to fuck a god? Should it be the other way around?
“Are you sure?” Was this a Samhain thing? An auspicious time to cross another line that they hadn’t really talked about because Noah had enough trouble thinking about magic without more distractions and Pan spread before him was very distracting.
Pan stared up at him. “Of course I am…though if you take any longer, I might change my mind.”
Noah moved Pan’s hand out of the way so he could line up the head of his cock with Pan’s hole.
Then he was sinking in. Maybe it was something the vampires put in the oil, or the magic of Samhain, or the fact they were ignoring the magic for pleasure, but nothing had ever felt as good as the way Pan’s body drew him in and gripped him tight.
The god’s legs wrapped around Noah’s hips, keeping him close.
His eyes burned with magic, and it was far too easy to trip and fall and lose himself in lust. Pan’s fingers tangled in his hair, as his mouth sought every gasp.
He lifted his hips, meeting every thrust as if they weren’t hard enough, or deep enough.
“That’s it, fuck me, fill me,” Pan said against his lips.
The need to come gripped him tight, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
He groaned as it rolled through him, his body obeying the will of the god.
Pan’s pupils gleamed like golden candle flames, revealing the secrets of the universe, and Noah wanted to explore, even if that meant drowning.
He wanted to stay right there, like this, with Pan’s breath on his lips.
Their heartbeats synced, and a different tide began to turn. The edge formed…
…Pan blinked, breaking the connection, and whatever had been forming fractured.
“Now you worship me.” He released Noah’s hair and pressed on his shoulders, not needing to ask for what he wanted.
Noah pulled out and worked his way lower with little kisses until he was able to lick the curved length of Pan’s cock. The ruddy head was leaking precum on Pan’s belly, and he licked that up too before taking the head in his mouth and sucking.
Pan’s fingers threaded through his hair again, and his grip tightened. Noah lifted his gaze as his head bobbed, and he took more. Pan watched, lips parted, eyes bright as if nothing were more important than this exact moment.
It was no wonder people fell to their knees to worship him. It was too easy to fall under his spell, even though he didn’t have magic—no, he couldn’t use magic, but it was still all around him and drawing him closer.
Pan’s chest lifted and his head tipped back as he came, spilling over Noah’s tongue. For a moment, the world held its breath, and everything glittered with magic. He saw how easy it would be to rearrange the threads to remake reality.
A growl reverberated through the building.
Noah froze, back in the room, his mouth still on Pan’s dick, not sure if he’d done something wrong.
Pan lifted his head. “You heard that, right?”
Noah released Pan’s cock. “I heard something… I don’t know what it—”
The noise happened again, followed by a scream outside the palace.
Pan sat up, the gold fading from his eyes. “The dragons.”