Chapter 22
The bar was warm and full of people, most of them mythological.
The entertainment seemed to be whoever wanted to get up and sing, or drum, or play whatever instrument they had to hand.
That Feryn had made a point of making sure Noah knew he was welcome to also volunteer kind of felt more like he had to offer.
While Liam had been keen, Web had been less so.
Web claimed it was because he had another Halloween party to go to, and Noah didn’t press further.
They’d do a few songs and then Web could leave.
It wasn’t that Web was being rude or anything that obvious; it was just…
something that made Noah wonder what was really going on.
Yes, the collapse had derailed everyone’s plans, and no one was thrilled that it had happened.
But it had, and now they had to deal with it.
It wasn’t as though they could make it disappear by griping.
Web had once said that he didn’t want to turn out like his father…
but he was starting to sound like him, always carrying on like the world was out to get him and that all bad luck was someone else’s fault.
Noah scanned the faces and was relieved that Pan had stopped hiding in the kitchen.
He was different tonight. Quieter, he was tempted to say more thoughtful, but that implied that Pan was thinking of someone other than himself, or magic, and Noah wasn’t sure if that was possible.
Even though when they were together, it felt as though they were the only two people in existence.
And that he was the most important person in the entire world.
He’d be lying if he didn’t admit to enjoying that feeling, or the rush of having a god wanting him, or feeling special and important.
People were turning to him, and he was able to do something.
The mythos seemed to value effort over perfection, which was good as whatever he did wouldn’t be enough—the problem was too big.
But if he did a little and others did a little…
Liam started drumming the introduction to the song, and Web joined in on his guitar—having left the cello at home instead of lugging it around.
Noah let himself fall into the music. They’d performed it enough times that he didn’t need to think about the words; he just existed.
But tonight, it felt different, like the words held their own magic.
And while he wanted to pause to examine what was happening, he couldn’t because there were too many people watching, stamping their feet in time or clapping their hands even though they didn’t know the songs or the words.
It was a weird kind of party, sober and hopeful and full of longing.
As the last song ended, he glanced at Pan.
His eyes were glowing as magic burned bright within him.
Then he blinked and looked away, and the magic was gone.
For a heartbeat, Noah thought he’d imagined it.
..but he hadn’t because it still vibrated in his ribs and skin like he was a sacred drum needing to be played.
Liam grinned. “Did you feel it? I don’t think we’ve ever raised so much power.”
“Yeah,” Noah said, but he wasn’t sure that it was the drumming or the music.
Maybe it was everything. Pan said the veil between the worlds was thinnest tonight.
Did that mean the separation between this world and worlds other than Tariko, too?
What other worlds were out there? Did they feel the ripple of the collapse and were wondering what was going on?
Web nodded. “We were good. Halloween is a good night for magic.”
Noah glanced at him. “I hope you’re not too late to your party.”
Web paused for a moment, then checked his watch. “I can stay for a bit.”
“Oh no, I don’t want to make you late,” Noah said a little too sweetly.
Liam frowned and looked at Web, then him. “Is there a problem?”
“No, but we should get out of the way. I think the elf wants to play something on whatever that is in her hand.” It was the carpenter, and the instrument appeared to be mostly carved out of wood.
The three of them left the area for performers, and Noah edged through the crowd towards Pan. Pan studied him for a couple of seconds before nodding at Liam and Web. “That was lovely. Thank you for volunteering your music.”
“Not a problem.” Liam said, then nodded toward the bar. “I wish your Nan could serve some alcohol.”
Noah grinned. “Next week. She can’t risk anyone street drinking tonight.”
“Fair enough.” Liam shoved his hands into his pockets. “She seems to have roped one of the vampires into helping her behind the bar to serve tea.”
“That’s Kirel. He’s now the sole parent of his little niece.
Nan has been helping him a bit, and the vampire kids have been learning English and such.
” Noah watched the two of them work. They moved around each other like they’d been doing it for years, touches and nods and passing the other whatever they needed.
He’d thought they were friends, but the way Kirel put his hand on Nan’s back and whispered in her ear made Noah wish Liam hadn’t drawn attention to it because now he couldn’t unsee the affection that had grown.
How had he not seen it before, given all the time they spent together?
He looked at Pan and then leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Are Nan and Kirel dating?”
Pan lifted an eyebrow. “You would have to ask them.”
“Nan is seventy.”
“And Kirel is a hundred and fifty something. Why does it matter if they are happy?”
Because it was weird to think about his grandmother dating…and dating a vampire at that. Was it weird for her that he was… Was he dating a god? Or were they friends with magical benefits?
“It doesn’t matter…but it’s kind of weird to think about old people dating.”
Pan laughed loud enough for people to turn and look to see what was amusing. He lowered his voice. “I am sure that I am older than everyone in this room combined and then some. I can’t even remember when I stopped counting the years, or if I was ever aware of them.”
Noah ducked his head and stared at the floor. “Thanks for making me feel weird.”
It was easy to forget how old Pan really was, in part because he didn’t behave as if he was centuries old.
Noah had assumed that a being as old as a god would have a little more, as Nan would say, nous.
It wasn’t that Pan was naive or that he didn’t care about the other mythos, it was just that he sometimes viewed their issues as a minor inconvenience to him instead of realizing they were major problems for the people dealing with them.
To him, not having magic was the biggest problem.
And while he understood that many had died, he didn’t seem to mourn.
But then how many people had Pan watched die while he lived on?
Pan kissed him. “You are weird, and that’s why I like you.”
“Aww, and I thought you liked me for my magic.” He was only half joking. What else did he have to offer a god.
“Ugh, get a room,” Web said.
Noah smiled at him. “He’s snacking.”
“That doesn’t make it any better.” Web checked his watch. “I’m going to head off. I’ll catch you during the week.”
“Okay.” Noah gave him a hug.
“I’m going to talk to the elf because that thing she played looked cool.” Liam jerked his head in the direction of Samiah, who’d just finished performing.
Pan waited for them both to step away before pulling Noah closer. “Does that mean we can now slip away?”
“Are you hungry?”
“Only for you. When you sang…”
“I saw.” He grabbed Pan’s hand and led him toward the palace doors.
Nate glanced over his shoulder as they went behind the desk but didn’t say anything.
How many other people noticed? Not that it mattered because most people knew what was going on anyway.
They made it to the corridor before Pan pressed him against the wall and kissed him as though his life depended on it.
Noah melted against the marble and gripped Pan’s hips, pulling him closer. The magic that he’d felt while singing bloomed in his chest. “Oh my god.”
Pan eased back. “I am?”
“No…never mind. Tonight is Samhain, your end of year. It’s a tide, and that’s why I can feel it. It’s like on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t quite get the words out.”
“Magic doesn’t need any words.” Pan’s fingers swept over Noah’s jaw, and his lips brushed lightly over Noah’s mouth.
“That’s not what I meant. I’m trying to describe how magic feels. It’s there, but I can’t quite grab it.”
“I can assure you it’s not on your tongue.” Pan’s tongue dipped into his mouth as if to doublecheck. “But it’s there. And yes, the tide is turning on the year.”
“Does that mean the human New Year is also a turning tide?”
“Do people treat it as one? Magic can be created if there is enough thought and will.”
“Some. It’s so frustrating, not being able to do something with it.”
“I wouldn’t know what that feels like at all.” Pan’s eyebrows flicked up.
His frustration was nothing compared to what it must be like to have once used it without thought. “I can touch more tonight…so what do you want to do with it?”
“Nothing and everything.”
“What does that mean?”
“That I want to enjoy you without needing to think about other people. I want to enjoy magic the way I used to, which sometimes means doing nothing but basking in its existence. You don’t know what it’s like to be one with it, exploring the different threads that bind the universe together.”
“That seems like a kind of thing where one might get lost.”
Pan inclined his head. “I guess it is. But it never mattered if I lost one day or ten. Now it seems as though every day matters. As though every action matters. And if I step in the wrong direction, everyone will suffer the consequences.”
“You feel the weight of being a god without any of the benefit.” Noah leaned in, his nose brushing against Pan’s.