29. Lyric
TWENTY-NINE
LYRIC
“I’m just going to keep pounding on this door, Lyric!”
I pulled the pillow over my head.
Sheba bumped my shoulder, then she rested her head on my arm.
I’d been sleeping on and off all afternoon. I’d even called Nolan to cover for me. I didn’t think there was a tear left in my entire body and still, my eyes welled.
How was I supposed to handle Jensen running into a fire over and over again? Not to mention the little one inside me needed both of us. I could do it alone—and would if I truly needed to.
The door opened and I curled into myself.
CJ sat beside me on the bed. “Honey, you gotta talk to me. You’re scaring me. I don’t want you to sink again. Not if we can avoid it. No man is worth that.”
My room was dark. It was well after midnight and a cold had seeped into me that no blanket or warm pup could combat.
“I’m pregnant.”
The silence was endless.
I was afraid to turn over and face her. Telling someone else made it real.
She stood up and went to my closet.
That was not how I imagined my big sister would react. I rolled over and cuddled Sheba into my chest. “What are you doing?”
“I’m looking for that bat you keep in here for protection.”
I couldn’t stop a huff of a laugh. “CJ, there’s no bat.”
“Oh, there’s a bat. I know there is. Aha!” She came out with the ancient aluminum bat from her softball days over her shoulder. “I think this can still do some damage. Maybe not like a wooden one, but the way I’d hit him with that would probably break it over his stupid head.” She swung the bat experimentally.
“He doesn’t know yet.”
The end of the bat thunked to the carpet. “What?”
“I haven’t told him yet.”
“Oh.” She frowned, but she put down the bat before walking back over to me. “Oh…” She rested the bat against my bedside table and sat down. “If you need me to come with you to the doctor’s, I can.”
I pressed my cheek to my pillow and the tears started up again. “Oh, CJ.”
“We can do this. We can fix this. We’ll do it together, whichever way you decide.”
My badass big sister. I sniffled. “I’m keeping it.”
She nodded. “Okay. I’m going to be an exceptional auntie. I promise you that.”
I reached out and she twisted her fingers with mine. “Wait until Aunt Polly finds out.”
Funny that I went to her before our parents. But Aunt Polly had been the one that had been a stabilizing force in our lives.
“She’ll fly us home to San Fran before you start showing.”
“I can’t do that. I’ll be running A Place for All.” Even if that and this baby would probably become my entire life.
She lifted my sheet and blanket and crawled in. “Wait, did you change your sheets recently? I don’t want Jensen cooties on me.”
“Nope. So many cooties.”
“Well, as long as it’s not the wet spot.” She settled beside me and Sheba burrowed between us. She turned until we were face to face. “Do you want to tell him?”
“Of course I do. I love him.”
“Then are you just freaking out first? I mean, I get it. I’d be freaking out. This is why I double bag and have birth control.”
“You do not make them wear two condoms.” The giggle bubbled up and pushed back some of the tears.
“Okay, no. I make them pull out instead—while wearing a condom.”
I laughed, pushing my face into my pillow.
She reached out and pushed back my hair. “I know you guys are young, but he seems like he loves you like crazy.”
“He does.”
“I’m not seeing the problem then. I mean, whoa fast, but not insurmountable.”
The tears pricked again, and Sheba licked my cheek, pressing tighter into my belly with her furry butt. I hugged her and pressed a kiss on top of her head. “He just joined the CCFD.”
“CCFD…” Her brows furrowed. “I don’t get it.”
“Crescent Cove Fire Department.”
She sat up. “And he didn’t tell you he was doing that?”
I shook my head.
She flipped away the blankets from her and slid out to get the bat.
I laughed. “CJ, you can’t go beat him.”
“Oh, I can. Maybe I can beat some sense into him. How can he not know that is an idiotic move?”
“You should have heard him.” I sighed.
I understood the look in his eyes. Once I really saw how much it meant to him, I saw it.
I didn’t want to.
I wanted to rage and demand he pick me.
Pick us .
Pick anything but fire.
“Well, he’ll just have to get over it.” She took the bat back into my closet and came back out with my robe. “And you’re going to come out into the kitchen, and I’m going to cook you something to eat. You’re eating for two now, and you can’t slack off.”
“I’m not going to starve just because I missed a few meals today.”
But my stomach picked then to make noise.
Sheba wiggled her butt. She needed to eat too. We’d both been hiding since lunchtime. I slid across my bed, every muscle hurting from being inert for too many hours.
“See? This means we need to make pancakes.”
I huffed out a laugh. “I must really look awful if you’re offering to make pancakes.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll add some protein powder.” She grinned and disappeared out my bedroom door.
Sheba popped off the bed and gave me an expectant look. “Go ahead.”
She shot out the door after CJ, and I heard my sister’s voice offering her food as well.
I pulled on my robe and my gaze locked on Jensen’s dragon painting.
When he’d told me I was stronger than the fire—that it was how he saw me, I never imagined it would mean I’d be fighting fire for the rest of my life.
That he would be too.
Intellectually, I knew being a firefighter wasn’t only about fighting fires. But it was a major part. And like Trick or Treat, there were plenty of old warehouses in this area that could have the same issues.
A flash of falling through the floor slammed into me.
I braced myself against my makeup table.
It wasn’t fair that he would ask me to do this.
To be happy for him.
To not see my side.
Especially when he was so understanding about who I was in every other area of our lives. But it wasn’t just about me now.
I pressed my hand against my middle.
The anxiety was already building in my chest. I took a deep breath and pushed it out a few times, trying to battle it back.
I’d figure out some way to make it work.
Some way to tell him.
I turned my back on the dragon and followed the sound of music and my sister’s off-key singing. I laughed as I recognized the song.
The epic “Love Is a Battlefield” was playing on the turntable. I paused at the end of the hall as my sister used the whisk to sing before dipping it back into the batter to whip it with a legion of chocolate chips.
I walked in and sang with her as we sang about how strong we were.
It was a song we played—and danced to—often. I did the shoulder shimmy from the video, and she mirrored me then we howled about heartache.
And I felt it in my bones.
But I sang and laughed with my sister because I would not sink into the anxiety tonight.
We ate chocolate chip pancakes with far too much butter and the crispiest most perfect bacon. Then I took a shower, stripped my bed, and remade it with fresh sheets.
I was tired, but I was also too wired to sleep. I’d slept all damn day.
It was early, but at least I could put all this energy into A Place for All.
At least there I understood what it needed, and I could put Jensen in the back of my mind until the opening at the very least.
It was still dark as I pulled out of my parking spot, with Sheba in tow. The early morning birds were singing, and the first fingers of light were creeping in over the horizon as I pulled into Trick or Treat’s parking lot.
There was a new addition to the crow over the gates. The crow’s beak was peeking over a stained glass and steel structure. A Place for All was spelled out in thick wrought iron backlit with swirling purples and greens.
And I’d missed the sign going up that day because I’d fallen apart.
I paused at the gate and got out.
Ryker, one of the artists we’d approached for the opening, was a blacksmith. He and Nolan had formed a pretty solid friendship. Nolan also did metalwork, but they approached things differently.
The fact that they’d created something so beautiful together made my chest ache.
For this place.
That Nolan had allowed me a chance to make this happen. And in the embers of tragedy, we’d rebuilt this place.
I got back into my Jeep and parked near the atrium doors.
More glass and steel.
I could picture my future here.
I got out and grabbed my bag before letting Sheba out of the back door. I unlocked A Place for All’s door. A similar sign from the gate was now bolted over the doors. It was more delicate with additional scrollwork around the frame, but it still had those strong ironwork words.
Pride filled my chest and pushed some of the sadness away.
I unlocked the door and put in my code on the security panel.
In the darkness, I saw all the hard work that we’d done. Shadows filling the once empty space.
I flicked on the light and tears prickled as the shadows became colors.
The entire perimeter of the space was fully set up. The only places with empty shelves and cabinets were the fresh food vendors.
Sheba shot forward to sniff around. I followed her, my fingertips tracing over the first table I came to. Dog treats and individually wrapped cupcakes created with dogs in mind. Sugar Rush had outdone itself with the sheer number of options. They’d placed her display right in front of Sheba’s likeness.
The pang of it threatened to double me over.
Jensen’s illustrations were everywhere. And somehow, he’d made sure to link them all together seamlessly. From Sheba, who also had a few treats dancing around her head with a tag that read Sugar Rush, to Mama’s Bread, into Bell Flower Soaps who took up the corner, the entire back wall was everything I’d ever wanted to see.
At the center of the room was a display of reusable bags with our logo on it, mugs, and water bottles, as well as stickers. On the wooden display, there were small illustrations. One of a frog, one of a bat, and along the bottom was the tiniest ladybug.
Hope and faith in the midst of creative chaos, the very best kind. And even that kind of chaos was in short supply this close to our opening.
I straightened one of the bags and moved on to the side of the space. From the soap corner the honeycomb illustration overlapped with a golden bee that was holding onto the clasp of a necklace. He and Hadley, the jewelry designer, had decided on a brand-new necklace in honor of A Place for All with an inclusive design.
The chef had all his cookware out along with his special spices. The illustration for him was a chopping board full of veggies and his signature packet of spices illustrated to show off his logo. A knife was stuck into the wooden chopping board, which segued into the specialty knife creator.
It was all so seamless that my breath simply left my body on a laugh.
It was even more amazing than I’d imagined.
I just wished Jensen was here to share it with me.
Sheba came up beside me to push her little face against my thigh.
“We’re going to be all right, girl.”