Chapter Twenty
Chapter
Twenty
Jasper
The quiet, early morning was peaceful. I stood with my cup of coffee and watched the pool rippling from the breeze. The place was manicured and clean, pristine, though that wouldn’t be the case tonight. Girls would be topless, drinks in abundance, and the people I called my friends would surround me on every side.
This party was what I needed to get my head on straight. It would remind me that this was my life. My father’s death had messed up the plan, forcing me to grow up sooner than I had anticipated. I never expected to take his place before I was forty. I had wanted to travel and enjoy life for a while. Not deal with the corporation, employees and my mother. Coming back here to Savannah had been the last thing I wanted to do.
Now, I was here and faced with the fact I had to stay in Savannah. If I didn’t stay, my mother would ruin me, the woman having no sense of business or any idea of a budget. Nothing was the way I thought it would be. Stone had agreed to stay in town for a while, to be my support and help guide me. He already had a flat here. In fact, he preferred Savannah over Manhattan. He kept homes in both cities. Even though he had his own shit to handle he knew I needed help facing Portia and this company; the man was always level-headed, attuned towards business, whereas, well, I wasn’t at all. I was a dreamer, always searching for the unattainable. I lost sight of goals to chase new ones. I enjoyed freedom and I no longer had it. I never would again.
Glancing back at the house, I wondered if Beulah was awake yet. Just thinking about her made me smile. That wasn’t okay, and I knew it. She had her own responsibilities to deal with. I still couldn’t figure out why my mother had helped Beulah and Heidi, though I was certainly glad she did. Beulah had quickly managed to get under my skin, in my head, I found myself obsessing over her entirely too much. That was fucked up, and I knew it. But I still smiled when I thought of her. The days she was with me at work had become days I didn’t dread going to the office.
She made mornings my favorite part of the day. We’d eaten together a few times now and I loved listening to her talk. I didn’t give a fuck what it was about. I just liked to see her lips move and hear her voice. My going to see Heidi had changed how she acted around me. She was more relaxed, and I finally got to know the real Beulah. She laughed loudly at my jokes, blushed when complimented, and was relaxed around me, whereas before, she had been closed off and quiet.
If I could keep from wanting to grab her and slam her against the wall, then take that sexy mouth, it would be even better. But that seemed impossible since every passing second we spent around each other all I wanted to do was touch her, scale her body with my hands. See if Beulah tasted as perfect as she looked. The girl was messing with my head. I didn’t do relationships of any kind. Never had before, unless it was purely sexual. And I was almost certain Beulah didn’t do quick ‘no strings attached’ hot fucks. I was certain of that. She was the kind of girl that did relationships. Hell, she was so na?ve she may even be a virgin. That was a major hell no right there. I didn’t touch virgins. Yet, she’d made her way into my thoughts, taunting me. And I was fighting it more and more.
This party was mostly due to my need to fight those urges. To put a barrier between Beulah and me. For my sake. Because I was real damn close to crossing a line with her.
I was bringing her coffee at work just to sit and talk to her. I canceled meetings for an excuse to eat lunch with Beulah, and I’d taken all those damn files and dumped them on the floor in a gigantic clusterfuck just to have a reason to give her the money she needed to take care of Heidi. I knew her pride wasn’t going to let me pay her what Portia had been paying before I came, especially after I’d acted like a dick about the money I had thought she was pocketing.
I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I was sinking and had to claw my way out. My life was not a place that Beulah would fit. I would hurt her, not even meaning to, and I couldn’t stand the thought of her enduring any more pain. I’d seen the way she had started looking at me. Gazing too long with a soft expression in her eyes. And fuck I had liked it. I wanted it. But I would hate myself in the end.
Tonight, I’d enjoy naked women plastering themselves against me. I’d fuck several. Taking two at a time. I would do whatever I needed to get that sweet fucking face out of my head. . .and her smell. . .Beulah’s scent. . .I had to forget how incredible she smelled, like motherfucking sunshine and honey. Jesus, that got to me.
“Good morning,” her voice was soft, almost musical, as it floated through the breeze. I turned to see her standing just outside the door. A cup of coffee in her hand. “I’m sorry you had to make your own cup.”
“I was up earlier than normal. I can manage. You drink that one.”
She took a sip, then gave me that special smile that did things to my chest and fucking dick. When she stepped back to go inside, the smart thing to do would’ve been to let her, but I didn’t do that. Hell, I couldn’t.
“Come have coffee with me. It’s early. Portia is gone. No need for you to start working.”
Her smile beamed. If Stone came out here, he would be a bastard. He should, I’d asked him to keep me in check, because he could ignore women. Whenever he wanted one, he got his fill of her and then walked away. The dude was cold-hearted and brutal. He was disgusted with my weakness where Beulah was concerned. He’d sensed it from day one. Warned me to keep my distance. I’d tried, but the more I refused her, the more I wanted her.
“Are you enjoying the view before all your friends arrive?”
I replied, “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“Then why have the party? Is it because Stone wants to?”
Stone hated these parties. Didn’t like crowds. But he also knew why I needed them. He was behind anything that would keep me at a distance from Beulah’s physical presence.
“I like them,” I replied. “I drink, relax, and enjoy the company.”
Beulah didn’t respond to that. This would be a good moment to start talking about what she needed to do for the party, what I expected of her. That would put her back on her side of the line. The invisible line that was keeping her from being in my arms right now. The one where I remembered she was a girl who was working to take care of her sister and to pay for nursing school. She couldn’t end up naked in my bed. I flinched as the image hit me. Her hair fanned out on my sheets. Fuck I had to stop this. Not that kind of girl, Jasper. Remember that.
I cleared my thoughts. She needed me and not the kind of need that my dick was required for. I wasn’t going to allow my desire for Beulah to screw things up for her. After witnessing her with Heidi, I knew I’d do whatever was necessary to protect them both from any hurt. Which meant I wasn’t going to touch her.
“Will the caterers be the same?” she asked. I saw that her expression was serious. She was already working and figuring out tonight before I could tell her what to do. She was the best kind of employee. Except the sight of her made my cock hard.
“Yes, did you like them?” I don’t know why I asked her that. Did it matter?
She nodded and replied, “Oh yes, they were excellent. I just wanted to know what to expect.”
“Expect the same as last time—pretty much the same crowd. You handled yourself well, I recall. Do the same. All will go smoothly.”
Beulah straightened her shoulders and looked determined. The relaxed Beulah who’d walked out here to enjoy her coffee was gone. I’d led us in this direction. Her change was entirely my fault. It was a good thing. But I hated it.
“I need to go do an inventory on the bar. Make sure the alcohol is sufficient. I’ll have breakfast ready in an hour. Is that good? Or do you want it sooner?”
This would be what saved us both. God knows something needed to. Because I was real close to stalking right over that motherfucking line I had drawn.
“That will be fine. And Stone will be with me,” I told her.
I wasn’t sure if he would be, but I said it anyway, to establish another hurdle, to push Beulah back from that line, I’d maneuvered and eased her toward.
She gave me a tight smile that didn’t meet her eyes before she went back inside. Her back was straight, and her walk would have been determined, but she seemed to be slightly limping. I’d ask about that later. Right now, she needed some space, and I suppose I did too. What I wanted to do was go after her and make her laugh and smile. Smell her hair and mold her body tightly and securely against mine.
Fuck. I needed that alcohol now. I’ll go inventory the motherfucking bar.