Chapter Twenty
Shai
“What the fuck? Didn’t I tell you to stay in my room?” Rory asks when he finds me in the living room with Ollie.
“I mean, technically, but…”
“I went up to get him,” Ollie says. “He shouldn’t have to be a prisoner in your room. He’s our guest.”
“You sound like you’re about to break out in song at any second,” Rory tells him, in unison with Cillian’s, “Kitten…”
“Don’t kitten me! He’s my friend, and he’s Rory’s…”
“Pet,” Rory fills in.
The front door opens, and I turn around to see a guy with a buzzed head and a woman with long black hair.
“Who the fuck are you?” the guy asks.
“Rory’s pet,” Cillian says through clenched teeth.
“And his friend.” I point to Ollie with my thumb, partly because it’s true and partly to piss off Cillian.
“Why is he in our house?” The guy drops his bag.
“Oh my God,” the woman says. “Why are you all acting like no one ever comes over? We literally have parties how often?”
“That’s what I told T,” Rory pipes in, the woman walking over.
“Hi, I’m Aislin, Tiernan’s sister. And this asshole is Dean.”
“He’s mine.” Another guy enters the room—Tiernan, I assume, the one who is clearly in charge.
I shrug. “He’s not my type anyway. I like redheads.”
“Okay…so…he fits in.” Aislin eyes me. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“Shai.”
“Well, that’s a badass name.”
“I like you, Aislin.”
“Don’t flirt with my pet, Ash.” Rory wraps an arm around her shoulders, then tries to give her a noogie. They wrestle around for a minute before Aislin works her hands beneath his armpits and Rory jerks away laughing. “Cheater.”
“I always win,” she says, and I might have only known her for five minutes, but I believe her.
“You’re ticklish? I’ll have to remember that.”
“I’ll cut your fingers off.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re always telling me what you’ll do to me.”
Rory pumps his brows, his voice dropping an octave. “I do a lot of things to you.”
Dean looks at Tiernan. “Did I step into an alternate timeline? What the fuck is going on here?”
Tiernan groans. “It’s always something.” He turns to me, his eyes narrowed, a coldness coming off him that matches Cillian’s when it comes to me.
“You know this isn’t a joke, right? You step out of line, and you’ll die.
Slowly. I don’t know you. I don’t trust you.
You’re only here because I trust Rory. He put himself on the line for you. Don’t fuck it up.”
Goose bumps trail down my nape, then take a ride down my spine.
Rory did that, for me, because he wants me.
He’s risking his relationship with his family for me, and that means something to me.
“I don’t know or trust you either, but I won’t betray you because it would mean betraying Rory.
I would never do that. That’s not me.” Not when I care about someone, and even though it’s a mistake, even though it doesn’t make a damn bit a sense, I care about Rory. “Not with him.”
The back of my neck feels hot now. The room is silent around me.
I run a hand through my hair, avoid looking at anyone until I can’t keep my gaze away from Rory…
Rory who is in front of Cillian, the two of them watching me, gazes intense and penetrating, dissecting, curious.
Can’t say I blame them because I feel the same.
I shift uncomfortably, unsure if I said something wrong.
“We didn’t eat this morning,” I tell Rory. “You’re always fucking hungry. We should go get some food.” I push off the couch, stuck in this weird space between wanting the hell out of here but liking watching them together.
It takes me a minute to realize they’re all still staring at me.
“Is there a problem? If you want me to go, I’ll go.
If not, can we get some fucking food in him?
He needs it.” When they all just keep looking at me like I’m an alien, I add, “Especially after how hard I fucked him last night,” hoping to at least shock them into speaking.
Ollie recovers first. “You want to feed Rory.”
“Not like, from my hand. And I plan to eat too.” Jesus, what the fuck is going on with them?
“It’s just…nice,” Ollie continues.
“I do know how to feed myself,” Rory adds, finally saying something.
Ollie rolls his eyes, then shoves off the couch. “Come on, Shai. Come hang out with me while I see what we have.”
I’d do just about anything to get out of this room right now, though I’d hoped it would be me and Rory going somewhere. Still, I follow Ollie into the kitchen, the rest of them staying in the living room.
“Why was that such a big deal?” I ask when we’re alone.
“Not sure how to explain… With everything they’ve been through, they’ve learned to cling to each other, to depend on each other and take care of each other. You trying to feed Rory was you taking care of him. To them, that will matter more than anything.”
That’s not what I was trying to do. Make sure he had food, yes, because he’d said he was hungry at my place earlier, but we’d bailed before we could eat. It had nothing to do with scoring points or whatever Ollie is saying. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Maybe to some it’s not, but it is to them. And even if Rory doesn’t acknowledge it or realize what’s happening, it’s a big deal for him too. Rory needs people who have his best interests at heart.” Ollie begins looking in the fridge.
“He can take care of himself,” I defend.
“Yes, but just because he can doesn’t mean he always does.
That’s something you have to remember with Rory.
I’m not saying to treat him with kid gloves, but he can sometimes go too far or get hyperfocused on something, and it’s not always good for him.
Cillian is good at reeling him in, and now I do too.
If you’re going to be with him, you need to be able to give him his freedom while being the anchor he sometimes needs so he doesn’t drift away. ”
Not sure I completely understand what Ollie means, but intuitively, I feel it’s true. “We’re not like that. We’re just fucking.”
“I hope that’s not how you feel because even if Rory thinks that’s all it is, he’s wrong. You wouldn’t be in this house otherwise. Cil said Rory has never brought someone home before—not like this.”
My head spins, my equilibrium slightly off. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
Ollie sighs. “It does, though. There’s been this…
this wall around the group of them for so long, the only place they’re safe is with each other.
People came and went, but they never let anyone into those places that truly matter, not until Tiernan did with Dean, and Cillian with me, and now, even if you don’t see it, Rory does with you.
That’s why it’s hard on Cillian. It’s a change, and for him, it’s not just Rory being obsessed with you.
It’s that I know you and work with you, and I’ve been adamant about keeping our friendship.
In Cillian’s mind, Rory and I are his, and now you’re not just working your way into Rory’s life, but both of ours. ”
This is a lot. I fall into one of the kitchen chairs, too many thoughts to focus on just one ping-ponging in my head. “Rory says they’re not in love.”
“They’re not,” Ollie says firmly, zero doubt in his tone.
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“No. I love Rory too, and I know that when Cillian needed him, Rory was always there for him. And when Rory needed Cil, he was always by Rory’s side too. There are different kinds of love, Shai, and having one for one person doesn’t limit what you can have for someone else.”
I nod, believing him—that these things are coming from Ollie’s heart, that there are no hard feelings here.
“Will it bother you? If you and Rory become more, I mean. Can you accept it?”
“Cillian hates me.”
“Cillian will never hate someone who’s good to Rory. If you are, then you have nothing to worry about. I’m not saying it won’t take him time to come around.”
We chuckle, but I sober quickly. I can’t begin to wrap my head around this conversation.
I think about the story Rory told me, about that wild, traumatized little boy who found his mom in a pool of blood.
Who lay next to her, held her, mourned her alone until Cillian arrived…
Cillian who sat with him, who never left him alone, who would have spent eternity in that bed with Rory if he’d needed it.
Why would I want him to lose something I would do anything to have myself?
“No, it wouldn’t bother me.”
“Good because I don’t want either of them to get hurt. Rory’s claimed you, and as barbaric as that sounds, and as much as a quiet voice in my head tells me I shouldn’t like that feeling, there’s nothing in this world like being claimed by one of them.”
I nod. Even if I’m not sure I’ve been claimed by Rory like he says, I don’t doubt how special it is being chosen by any of them.
“Bunny, I’m starving. You guys haven’t even found any food yet.” Rory comes into the kitchen, being dramatic like he often is. “I’ll die if I don’t eat.”
Ollie laughs. “I’m working on it.”
“Go see your boy instead. Shai and I have this.”
Ollie nods, and I watch as Rory kisses his temple. Ollie gives me a small, unsure smile before slipping out of the room.
“You gonna make food with me or what?” he asks.
I push to my feet, walk over, and ease Rory back until his body is wedged between mine and the kitchen counter.
“Want something?” he asks, eyebrow raised.
“A taste of my cherry,” I reply, then press my lips to his, let my tongue sweep into his mouth, tasting the toothpaste there from earlier, and somehow, I know nothing will ever be the same again.